


of Journeys and Jewels

by ValkyrieSigyn



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dragon Sickness, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, I better shut up and just let you guys read!, I'm not even sorry though, Incredible silliness, Jealousy, My First Work in This Fandom, Please Forgive me, Slow Build, So please be kind to me, Thorin being Thorin, Unplanned Pregnancy, YESH, and fluff, and some angst, i like smut, there will be smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2017-12-13 17:01:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 97,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieSigyn/pseuds/ValkyrieSigyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin knew Gandalf had two other companions in mind, but he had never imagined one of them to be a female ranger which he happened to sort of know from before, and a long battle of the kind he had never been in before, started.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Meeting at the Prancing Pony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin knew Gandalf had two other companions in mind, but he had never imagined one of them to be a female ranger which he happened to sort of know, and a long battle of the kind he had never been in before, started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My gods, what am I even doing - letting people into my fangirling mind?! Well, it had to happen sooner or later, I hope you are kind to me, since this is my first in the fandom. If you don't like OC stuff, please don't judge me, and don't read. If you like OCs, go on! Please give me feedbacks so I can develop my story ^^
> 
> The main idea was caused because I wanted a... more justice ending of the story (whoah, spoiler alert, maybe?), so I'm trying to make my own little version that can comfort me a little. But I suck at writing clean fluff, so instead you get action, angst, smut and sometimes moments with fluff. (did I say that I wrote this to... comfort me?)  
> And this will, when finished, lead me to my LotR-fic I have an idea about. So, depending on the success of this brain-poop of mine, we'll see how far I will take this ^^
> 
> Extra note: I have always loved Thorin as a character because he isn't black/white, and entertaining in his own weird way, ever since I read the book 13 years ago when I was 11. And then Richard Armitage got casted for the role and gave the character so much more. OMFD. I think that was the one thing pulling the trigger and making me write this. I just needed that last, solid kick on my butt.

Sigrael wondered why everyone at the Prancing Pony were so afraid of Rangers like her; even the elder men that should be considered wise, or the young and, at least believed so, brave men. She sighed as she sat down by the fire, ignoring anyone and picked up her pipe – she stuffed it with the pipe-weed her friend Gandalf had given her a week ago, deciding it was time to use some of it now. Really, she was barely 65 years old and the locals seemed to fear her like she was covered with typhus, or like she was an enemy from ancient times they didn’t want to awake. She sighed, knowing they were silly not knowing better, forgetting who the Rangers used to be and their numenorean legacy, the dunedains they were today, and that they actually protected these lands, waiting for the day the King would return.

Yet she sat in front of the fireplace, lost in her own thoughts and ignoring the scared looks or distrustful glares people sent her. She enjoyed her pipe and mead, slowly feeling how it affected her as her busy mind calmed down and the warmth of the mead spread through her, the combination of these making her relax; she needed it, another adventure was coming up and she guessed it would be like the earlier ones – full of surprises and unexpected dangers. Though she felt nervous, like she always did just before the beginning of an adventure, she couldn’t wait to get started; she had Seen that if it was a success, better times waited for her. She smiled and took another sip of the mead, thinking that the people of Bree knew how to brew.

…

Thorin wondered why his companions had gone to bed that early, leaving him alone with his ale. Not that he didn’t bother much, he just wondered why he always ended up as last man standing – at least the locals was entertainment enough for him, with lots of guys crawling across floors and tables as the ale took control, a few ladies here and there in the middle of the fun or serving more drinks despite the fact that they shouldn’t have anymore. He noticed a smaller person, obviously a Ranger, sitting alone by the fire and those who looked at this person, looked at him with nervous eyes. Thorin wondered why the people of Bree seemed to fear Rangers, it wasn’t the first time he had seen it.

“Hey, dwarf!”

Thorin sighed – he had been silly to believe that for the first time nobody would make a comment about his size, but then again; his height was normal, it was them being tall. He looked up, seeing the mocking grin of a man with thick, brown hair hanging down over his face, here and there fringes glued to his moist face – the smell of something stronger than ale was breathtaking and Thorin fought to keep his mask; only idiots are drinking spirits like water, and now one of them were standing in front of him.

“Are you addressing me?” Thorin asked with a bored voice, lifting his gaze a little to look at him.

“Do you see any other midgets around here?” the guy laughed, a few of his friends walking up behind him and snickering.

Midget. He hated that word – being compared to their own ‘dwarves’, which weren’t a proud race as his, but people that by some reason didn’t grow tall. It was nothing wrong with them, but comparing them felt like saying a sheep was as gracious as a deer – just wrong; the sheep is gracious in its own way, not the same way as the deer. Thorin leant back in the chair, for a moment feeling the effect of the alcohol, and looked up at him with lifted eyebrows – stupidity. He ignored the man, returning to his thoughts.

“Tell me, I have always wondered…” the man leant down on the table beside him, getting closer to Thorin than what he was comfortable with – if Smaug hadn’t taken his mountain, if he was king now… He would have sent this guy down the river to Dale in a barrel filled with rocks after beating him senseless. “Are your dicks matching your lack of height?” the man asked with a childish voice.

“Is your dick the only head you got?” Thorin asked back, wondering how long he could hold back the urge to strike him; the only thing holding him back was his pride. Not that he felt insulted by the question itself as he was quite pleased with what he got there, but the fact that people thought it was ok to treat him like a moron because of his height, was beyond what he could stand.

“Oh, did we hit a nerve?” the man asked and his friends laughed. Then he grabbed Thorin’s shoulder, pulling him even closer. “Is that why you dwarves are so rude?”

Thorin sighed and rolled his eyes. “Leave me, we have nothing to discuss if insults are the only thing you know.”

“Oh, you are insulted, little friend?” he asked with a mocking voice. “Smaller people handles less insults!”

Thorin rolled his eyes at this, looking in a different direction and took a sip of his mead, ignoring the man – the only thing to do.

Obviously, the guy couldn’t stand this kind of reply – in the next moment he grabbed Thorin by his collar, smashed him against the wall and placed a good punch in his face. His friends encouraged him and for a moment there was only chaos.

“Cowards!” a voice shouted and Thorin opened his eyes to see as the man stopped; the small Ranger had gotten on his feet, but he had no chance to see his face as he was wearing the hood. “Leave the man, he has done nothing to you.” 

“We’re just teaching the dwarf a lesson – to answer when he’s being spoken to.” The man said with a mocking voice.

“To me it looks like you’re the one needing a lesson – in manners.” The Ranger crossed his arms and Thorin was sure he heard a sigh. He noticed that the voice wasn’t very deep, yet the tone was low and threatening enough to work as a warning. Maybe he was really young, he was even smaller than he looked like when sitting – he had seen them a few times, the Men that were short of growth.

“What is it with you dwarves and being rude?” the man laughed and looked at his friends, who snickered behind him.

“What is your problem then, since you’re taking out frustration on dwarves? Do you have a hope of finding someone with a smaller dick than you?” the Ranger asked and even Thorin was staring at him now, wondering if he was getting drunk or if he actually said that. “If so, I’m terribly sorry, but anyone seems to have a bigger wiener than yours.”

In the next moment the man let go of Thorin – he slid down on the floor, too affected by the mead to notice how the punches had worked on him, and from there he watched when the man aimed for the Ranger instead and got him down on the floor, but not for long. A few well-placed strikes, and the man was left on the floor whimpering, his nose broken and bleeding, and his friends against the wall with fearful faces. “Not much of a support, eh?” the Ranger spat.

They stared at the Ranger before they rushed over to their friend and dragged him with them outside, throwing a last glance at the winner before they closed the door. The Ranger then turned to Thorin and walked over to him. “Are you ok?”

“I’ve handled bigger guys…” Thorin said with a small smile. “Thank you.”

“Come here, let me check on you.” The Ranger said kindly and helped him up. “That cut on your temple is bleeding.”

“Must have crashed when he dropped me down.” Thorin sighed and straightened up.

“I can go and get some of my first aid-“

“I have myself, my room is just out that door and around the corner.” Thorin said and headed for it, realizing he should go to bed as soon as this kind Ranger had checked that cut. He got up and walked out, leaving the surprised and nervous locals alone. He was surprised when he listened to the Ranger’s steps: they reminded him of a cat there he walked behind him, almost without a sound, smooth and fast steps. They came to his room, he silently opened the door and stepped aside to let him in – it surprised him that he wasn’t taller, there was no chance he was anymore 2cm taller than him, if he wasn’t the same as him. Was it really a man? He had heard of a few half-dwarves in the towns were they traded, but he had never seen them.

He found something to rinse the cut with and sat down on a chair. The stranger started to rinse it and was very gentle and careful as he did so, and soon the bleeding had stopped. “If I were you, I’d patch it for tonight, so you don’t do anything in sleep that will make it start bleeding again.”

Thorin’s heart skipped – why did the voice suddenly sound so female, so soft and warm? He looked up at the Ranger, wondering what face was hidden under the hood. He licked his lips before he looked up and spoke. “Might be clever. Would you fix that?”

“Of course.” 

As he sat there, he decided to just ask. “So, what is the name of my rescuer?”

“They call me Westwind – female Rangers aren’t what most people see every day, and I chose who I want to know my name. Don’t take it badly.” Sigrael smiled, knowing he was surprised. She pulled back the hood, and for a short second the dwarf lifted his gaze and stared, before he quickly looked ahead again.

So, it was a female – well, she knew how to change her voice to make an impression, and indeed she had both the tongue and strength to handle people and Thorin smiled, trying not to laugh at his own blindness.

“And your name, master dwarf?” Sigrael smiled to him as she was done patching the cut.

“Thorin Oakenshield.” He said politely.

“Then I hope I have served you well, Thorin.” She said kindly and took in the view – she had to admit she was a bit surprised by how beautiful this dwarf was. Not that it was anything wrong with dwarves, but she found him even more attractive than many men amongst her own: long, dark and slightly waved hair fell down in long bangs along his back and over his shoulders and she could spot two braids in his hair. His beard was short – he seemed to be matured for a dwarf, grey strands in his hair, so she had expected a longer beard, but she didn’t mind – it fit his face perfectly. He looked at her with eyes so intense and so blue that she thought she could have looked him back for hours if it wasn’t for her mind trying to keep her away from making a fool of herself.

“I owe you for this – not many would stand up to help someone they don’t know.” Thorin said kindly while he quickly looked her up and down – Thorin was indeed amused by this creature. She was beautiful, her oval face soft and without any signs of age, her blue eyes deep and thinking, and her face framed with wavy dark brown hair. She wasn’t tall, but still well-proportioned and seemed to be in a fit condition.

“The only thing I’m asking for, is respect, that is payment good enough for me.” She smiled and sat down in front of the fireplace, which was warm and still with some burning logs.

“Well, you have proven yourself worthy for it.” Thorin smiled and took off his boots, armour and cloak, knowing he would fall asleep soon if anything wouldn’t happen.

“I’m glad to hear.” She smiled and looked around in the room. “Funny, seems like I got the same kind of room as you.”

“A room for a dwarf?” Thorin asked with a small smile.

“Obviously, they’re identical. Wouldn’t be the first time, though.” She shrugged her shoulders. “The bed is soft and the room is warm, that’s all I’m asking for.”

“But you’re no dwarf!” Thorin smiled and looked at her. “I know dwarflings with more beard than you.”

“So it is true? Both men and women grow beards, and they start quite early?” she nodded her head slightly in curiosity.

“Yes, but that part about early beard isn’t all true – the beard grows slowly, and it won’t be visible until the age of 10-15 years, and most dwarves don’t have a full and proper beard until the age of 75.” Thorin smiled and shook his head. “I remember how proud my father was when my beard showed up when I was 11…”

“I find that fascinating.” She smiled and stretched out her legs. “I have never met a female dwarf. I think.”

“Well, it’s not that hard, you humans make a lot of bad jokes about that.” Thorin pointed out. “The curves aren’t to be mistaken, it’s just all that… clothing…” he sighed.

“The positive thing about lots of clothing is that it leaves a lot to the fantasy, so it isn’t as boring as some people say!” she giggled and looked up at him.

“I hear somebody has a creative mind…” Thorin laughed and shook his head. “But admit it, sometimes it’s nice to just get it all served.”

“Well, yes. I need inspiration sometimes.” She smiled and got up, walking around in the room. “Why haven’t you chased me out?”

“Seems like you expect us dwarves to be that rude?” Thorin asked with a smile. “No, I just find you amusing. I’ve never met a female Ranger before, and never a Ranger that is so entertaining being around.”

“Oh, the dwarves’ famous talent in words.” Sigrael smiled and sat down on a chair beside him. “You must be some tough nuts.”

“Our skills are hands and crafting, not words.” Thorin smiled and looked at her.

“I’ve heard so, that’s why I don’t bother to get insulted.” She smiled back.

“A shame the morning is approaching, I should have spoken to you before.” He sighed.

“That really isn’t a problem, is it?” she lifted one eyebrow to him. But her mind was now a mess: one part screaming ‘do it!’ while the other asked her repeatedly ‘are you hitting on a dwarf, really??’ and she couldn’t decide whom to follow. Not to mention how close they were sitting, their thighs touched and she could feel the warmth radiating from him.

Thorin on his side was fighting the same battle – last time he had fondled around with a human, he was still young and grabbed whatever chance he had. The last decades he had stayed away, a sort of pride for his bloodline stopping him, but now that pride was washed away by that smile. He felt desire starting to boil within him and wanted her right now and to close that last distance between their faces. “Not really…” he whispered and leant in to kiss her.

She grabbed the chance, knowing it could be the last in her life considering what was waiting for her, and pulled him closer – he answered by deepening the kiss and embraced her. Hands started to wander across their bodies and soon she found herself sitting on his lap.

“Before we take the next step – don’t think this is a habit of mine.” She whispered against his lips as she opened his belt.

“Same here.” He whispered back and pulled her closer. “Agreed?”

“Agreed.” She smiled and pushed her lips against his – he sighed and kissed her back, letting his hand bury itself in her soft hair and taking control. He started to undo the belt that held her jacket closed and let it fall to the floor along with her cape and pulled off her shirt so she was wearing only her boots, trousers and a breast holder. In a smooth move she had removed his shirt – for a moment she sat there and just admired the sight – the light was dim, but she could easily see that this was a wonderfully built body, fit and defined.

He moaned as she kissed his neck and her hands wandered across his naked torso, and he used the chance to undo the knot that held her breast holder together, letting the long piece of cloth fall to the floor. He kneaded her breasts, sighing as they were a good handful each and wonderfully shaped and he couldn’t resist sucking on the nipples that already stiffened under his palms.

She moaned as his lips closed over one of her nipples, the sensations it started when he sucked on them, the tingles that travelled her every nerve as he bit it and she buried her hands in his hair. He started to undo her breeches and pulled them down enough to let a hand slip in between her thighs and started to tease her.

She moaned and wanted more, she just wanted to feel him inside her and let him have his ways with her till she was nothing more than a trembling pile of limbs. He answered her wish by getting up and pushing her against the wall, and then bent down and helped her off with her boots and pulled her breeches completely off, kissing her thighs while doing this, his beard tickling her skin and making her shiver, and soon she stood naked in front of him. She spread her legs for him as he kissed her again, his hand still teasing her, a finger diving in between the folds and dipping in, carefully exploring her before he pushed it deeper in, then another finger and his thumb started to rub her clit. She embraced him, her hands caressing his back and encouraging him to continue with soft moans.

His erection was aching against his own breeches but he wanted to prepare her – he loved to please the woman first, to see her enjoy his touch, to get pleased by his work, feeling how wet she could become before he took the next step. Thorin smiled as he kissed her neck, hearing her begging for more – he might be a tough warrior with no mercy upon his enemies, but when it came to this, he was of the kind that wanted to please his woman before pleasing himself.

He could feel her getting closer and he used his free hand to undo his own breeches and prepared to the next step. He silently spat on his fingers and smeared it onto his shaft, moaning a little by his own touch – he was so ready for more. Then she came, trying to hold back her moans as she shut her eyes closed, gasping for air.

He grabbed her thighs and lifted her up against the wall and let her sink down onto his shaft – she couldn’t hold back a small scream by the sensation as he filled her completely and she tossed her legs around his waist to hang on to him, trembling around him as the orgasm was at the most intense. He started to thrust, groaning as he finally was relieved from the aching desperation – she fit him so well and he kissed her passionately as they found their rhythm together.

But he couldn’t stay there forever and eventually he let her go, only to be scooped up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He lay her down there before he got his boots and breeches off and climbed up to her, where she quickly pushed him over onto his back – she climbed up on him, letting her hand trail down his belly and chest before she let them rest on his throbbing cock. She smiled as she felt he was perfectly shaped and sized for her taste, and as she looked down, it was confirmed – she had not expected his kin to be this equipped, but she did not complain, quite the opposite. She teased him by pumping it while she leant over him, kissing him lightly for then let him suck on her nipples – he gasped for air, loving her touch and crazy for more of her and finally she let him have his will and leant back again, slowly sinking onto him.

He bucked his hips against her, hitting her bottom and she let a small cry out, amazed by how the sweet pain was pleasing her. She found her pace and he willingly followed it as he rested his hands on her hips, feeling every move of hers. She could see the pleasure on his face, his eyes shaded, mouth half open and sweat forming on his forehead.

She could feel her second orgasm build up, increasing her pace a little so she could bring herself there, biting her lower lip as she lost herself into pleasure. As he had read her mind, he reached down with a hand and carefully rubbed that sensitive button and that was all she needed to be pushed off the edge; the waves rolled over her, every muscle in her tightened and she gasped for air as the feeling grew more intense, before it moments later started to fade away, leaving her trembling and moaning on top of him.

He was dangerously close himself; he gently lifted her off from him and without speaking a word, he commanded her on all four before he grabbed her hips again and slid inside her again. She groaned under him, closing her eyes as he grabbed her hair with one hand as he started to fuck her again. It was indeed incredible and she wondered how much longer he could hold on as she started to feel dizzy under him, but he wasn’t far away – he leant over her, shifting his grip so he was holding around her body, his chest rubbing against her back and his hair fell over her. For each thrust he was a second closer and finally he reached it – he growled as he reached his climax, bucking hard with his hips as he released his seed in her, for then slowly letting her go as the sensation was over.

He dropped back on the bed, breathing fast and shallow as he lay his head down on the pillow and closed his eyes – this had been just what he needed; to not think of the future for a moment, to just surrender to pleasure and lose track of time and place in the company of a young and beautiful woman. He pulled her closer to him, holding her against his moist body and caressing her, kissing her while they fell asleep in each other’s arms; she enjoyed his furry chest tickling her while her hand wandered up and down from his hip to his shoulder.

*

Sigrael headed off the next morning on her pony, still feeling a bit sorry for just leaving him – to find him sleeping in her arms had melted her completely, but she didn’t have the heart to wake him up. He had certainly made an impression on her, but she wondered how the outcome would be if she had got to know him better – he seemed to have so many sides about him she didn’t get to know, only See a slight bit of, and he was certainly unique. Something about what she had Seen told her she would see him again, but unfortunately she didn’t pay enough attention to the vision she got, as she was too busy enjoying the present with him. She guessed she would see him again sooner or later because he was Thorin Oakenshield, and she smiled a little when thinking about that and lit her pipe and inhaled the smoke – that she had just left the bed where a royal dwarf spent the night.

She had joined in for some fun with a King to be, if she hadn’t got the histories of Erebor wrong – damn, he had to be almost 200 years old, but it was totally worth it considering the pleasure he had given her last night. And who would believe he was that old anyways – she couldn’t blame drinking, when he was just as beautiful and well-shaped when she woke up. Just thinking of his looks, how he spoke to her, made her shiver and her heart skipping a beat – she was sure that if she could have spent more time with him, there would be a certain risk of her falling in love with him.

Well, most likely that would never happen – she couldn’t find a chance of meeting him again. She hadn’t heard anything about him trying to reclaim Erebor yet, she guessed she would have heard if he was gathering an army and settling east. She looked back at the Prancing Pony a last time before she set off towards the gate, her destination being the Shire – at least Gandalf had some adventures on the other side of the Misty Mountains going on, and she was excited to hear more about it. All she had been told, was that a mission going east needed a healer and someone well known in the wild, and she would be well-paid. “Better get on the road.” She sighed and mounted her pony.

*

Thorin woke up with a slight headache throbbing in his head, wondering what happened last night. He rolled over on his back, closing his eyes and slowly the memories came back; Dwalin and Nori going to bed early, him sitting there with the mead, then that local drunkard, the Ranger – the Ranger. He opened his eyes and looked over to the spot beside him, and found it empty – he was sure she had fallen asleep beside him?

He immediately got up and checked his things, fearing the worst – only to find everything was where it was supposed to be. “You’re paranoid, old man…” he sighed to himself as he lay down on the bed again. Still, he couldn’t get away the feeling of a connection with this woman; something was giving him a feeling that this wasn’t the last he would hear from her. “Westwind…” he whispered the name and could clearly see her face – those shining blue eyes and the kind smile. He sighed as he thought of how she had stood up for a stranger and even taken care of him afterwards.

He closed his eyes and a pleasant flashback played on his mind, and he let a long sigh out – one thing was for sure, last night was absolutely worth every moment and every insult form that drunkard. It was just a quick affair that meant nothing, but indeed it was a good one. Still, a feeling had settled in his chest, and he couldn’t let it go – something told him she wouldn’t be gone for long, and he just wondered how he and a Ranger could be connected in any ways. The only time he spoke with them, was when they visited them to trade either weapons or fix their old ones, and when that happened, they shared news from the world that could be useful. Rangers had been amongst those telling them news from the east that had given them the clues they needed about Smaug and Erebor, but he was sure that he had never met this Ranger before.

He sat up and rubbed his face before going to the washing sink and clean himself – he better get ready for his journey, he bet Dwalin and Nori was awake already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Thorin, you fool... x3
> 
> I hope you're not dead by now - if you're still alive, cookie for you! :D
> 
> Now you've gotten a short glimpse of what will cause them some sort of trouble later on. I guess you can guess why, so stay tuned if you want to see how this will end!  
> I can also add that Sigrael/Westwind is a descendant of the dunedains, and therefore has a little bit of the gift of Seeing - which I'm going to play a little bit with to give her some gray hairs (I'm suddenly feeling so cruel for what I'm going to put them through, omg).
> 
> Now, did you survive? If so, feel free to read next chapter! :D


	2. An Unexpected Ranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, it's a week after the meeting between Sigrael and Thorin, and yet another time their paths crosses. Somebody will be surprised, and be prepared for so much awkwardness. I feel bad for doing this to them lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so evil for putting them through this omg. Let's hope this won't embarrass you as much as it's embarrassing Thorin and Sigrael!

Sigrael noticed someone approaching her from behind as she had stopped to hide her pipe. “Are you known around here?” a voice asked, not the voice of a hobbit. She turned to see, and found two cloaked persons just a few centimetres lower than her – well, she was a pure-blooded human, but she wasn’t the tallest, she had never been, but she was not a dwarf, like these. Despite that, she was an excellent warrior, and she knew she had met proper fighters when she saw their faces in the dim moonlight; both of them were young and strong, bearing weapons and standing there with straight backs, just highlighting the young and strong will in them. She guessed they might be brothers, as they had some similarities, but also very different; one was dark and the other blonde, but they had the same eyes and the same strong jaw line, which was still very visible as none of them had grown a proper beard yet, though the blonde one had started, and they seemed to be built in the exactly same way. They were handsome dwarves, but there was also something familiar about them, but she was sure she had never met them before.

“I happen to be, can I help you?” she asked, guessing they were among the dwarves in the company Gandalf had mentioned for her, and the reason she was here.

“We’re looking for Bag End.” The blonde said and looked her up and down, silently thinking this was not a hobbit; she was both too tall and with too tiny feet that also were booted, and she seemed to have a slim yet curved figure typical for a human. He looked at her face again, seeing it was a young and beautiful face, so it surprised him that she was dressed as a Ranger. He looked at his company, who seemed to think exactly the same.

“Just up the hill here.” She said and started to walk, knowing they were in the company, and a few minutes later they stood there.

She rang the bell, not only seeing it was the right house because of Gandalf’s mark on the door, but hearing it as well – the sound of lively chatting, noises and shouting told her that the poor hobbit that lived here had a night he wouldn’t forget, and she got a feeling it would get even worse for the poor hobbit. The door opened, and the expression on the hobbit’s face was not to be mistaken – desperation and frustration.

“Fili” the blonde said, and seconds later the other said “Kili”… “At your service!” and they bowed. Sigrael stood there and watched them with one lifted eyebrow.

“You must be Mr. Boggins!”

“Yeah, Bilbo here, but there’s no party going on!” he said and started to close the door, but the one called Kili stopped him.

“Is it cancelled?! When?!”

“Nobody told us?”

“No, nothing’s cancelled but-“

“Ah wonderful!” Fili smiled and walked in like he owned the place, and they handed him swords and bows and who know what, telling him to be careful before they went in and helped the two first arrivals with preparing the supper.

“Sorry, what is wrong?” Sigrael asked and looked at the desperate hobbit – hadn’t Gandalf told him?

“Everything! Here I was preparing my supper and suddenly one dwarf walks in, then another, and now two more and – you’re not a dwarf?!” he spoke very fast but stopped and stared at her.

“No, I’m a ranger.” She said and hung up her jacket among the dwarves’ cloaks.

“Even better, barbarians here as well!” Bilbo buried his face in his hands and sighed.

“So, you have no idea what is going on?” she asked and looked around, admiring the place and ignoring the comment about being a barbarian – the poor hobbit had probably never met one face to face before.

“No!” he grumbled and suddenly gasped and ran after the dwarves. “HEY!”

...

It didn’t turn out any better for the poor hobbit, and Sigrael gave up engaging in the dwarf chaos after a bunch of them literally crashed into his hall, and she ended up standing by a wall and smoking her pipe and watching the bunch of dwarves, trying to count them, but every time she stopped at 12 – she believed they would be 13, but maybe one were standing in the same room and not running back and forth. She smiled a little at the chaos, seeing Gandalf were doing the same, wondering how this would end up.

Well, she indeed enjoyed the dwarves, laughing with them after being introduced to them, not to mention the chaos that was ruling the entire supper, with food being thrown here and there, burping, singing and drinking. Even though she tried to eat with manners, she soon realized she had no-one to impress and gave up and started to dig in, feeling a childish joy by it. Though she got the most impressed by the show they made when cleaning up, throwing cups and mugs and dishes between the rooms while singing, driving Bilbo crazy.

...

Then, knocking on the door and complete silence. They followed Gandalf to the door and as he opened the door and a single dwarf stood there, a wave of joy and awe filled the company, while she felt her heart stopping and a blush spread across her face – it was her companion from her last night in Bree and she quickly stepped behind Gandalf.

So he was their leader, Thorin Oakenshield – she had heard about him, and that was why she had been snickering when thinking about their adventure. Now she wanted to disappear immediately. He was introduced to Bilbo, with a comment about this was their hobbit, and Gandalf showed them to the dining room where Bilbo had found something the others hadn’t devoured yet, just enough for him, while she headed for the tail of the company, suddenly wondering if she dared to join them or not – how on earth would he accept a Ranger woman, which he had even slept with? After all, she had sneaked out of the bed before the sun was rising and leaving without even saying goodbye! Then she made up her mind and managed to seat beside Fili and Kili, on the other end of the table.

But she was still amazed by the look of the leader; a bit taller than the rest of them, long dark hair with a few strands of grey, a well-proportioned body and a beautiful face with crystal blue eyes, she wasn’t mistaken – it was him. Though, he looked very serious, more than she could remember; just as serious as the other dwarves had been merry and entertaining, and in his eyes she could see a determinedness she had not seen in anyone else before, he was a man that knew what he wanted, but she could also see something that reminded her of sorrow and revenge. She felt completely mesmerized by this dwarf and she moved her gaze away from him, knowing she was blushing heavily – she needed to convince him that she was a worthy fighter and warrior for his company. When seeing their determinedness, she knew she had to join them, she just had to make sure that Thorin believed more than one thing about her.

“Now, I have a few things here to explain for all of you.” Gandalf smiled to the dwarves, then a nod to the hobbit and her.

“Yes, that would be much appreciated; I wonder why you took us to the Shire.” Thorin said and picked up a piece of salted meat.

“Well, my dear Thorin.” Gandalf started and then looked at Sigrael and the hobbit but Thorin’s eyes were fixed upon Gandalf and she realized he hadn’t seen her yet. “You’ve met our host, Bilbo Baggins, and he’s the reason I brought you here. He’s the 14th companion of yours, as you needed a burglar.”

“Burglar, me?” Bilbo asked confused.

“And beside Fili and Kili, Westwind; a Ranger and good healer I think will be useful for you.” Gandalf smiled and looked at her, nodding in her direction.

Thorin was indeed good at hiding his surprise, as he didn’t move a muscle when he realized who she was, but his eyes told something else – he was utterly surprised to find her there, but at the same time it looked like something dawned on him and he managed to keep his mask. He nodded in her direction like a silent greeting since last time and acknowledge of her presence before he looked at Gandalf.

Now it remained to see if Gandalf was right or wrong about his reaction, but that was something Gandalf had predicted when not knowing of her and Thorin’s secret meeting in Bree, without knowing who the other was. Gandalf had warned her that the leader of the quest would be stubborn and probably doubt her, but he had also insured her that he would speak her case. “I trust her a lot. I will bring her with me, as I need her knowledge along the way and I think she’ll be useful during the quest for as long as she chose to follow us.”

“A Ranger?” Thorin lifted his eyebrows and smiled. “Secret protectors of the lost Kingdom of Arnor, also known as wild barbarians by those who fear the dark news they often bring with them?”

“Believe me, she’s more than the eye can see, a skilled fighter and archer, and she behold knowledge about animals and nature that will come useful to us.” Gandalf smiled and looked at her. “And she’s one more to fight for you.”

“I need warriors, not a girl talking with animals.” Thorin smiled and lifted a piece of bread and was about to take a bite of it, but in the next moment it was nailed to the wall behind him with a dagger – he closed his mouth, studied his hand and looked at the bread hanging on the wall, which all the dwarves stared at in surprise. Then he turned to her, a small smile on his lips; he was indeed impressed by her speed and accuracy, and Kili stared at her with big eyes while a smug smile curled on Fili’s lips. She stared at him, finally having a release for the tension she felt in her, and a sadistic joy when seeing his surprise. Now she wondered if she would get away from this in one piece.

“Now, she knows how to talk with animals, but she’s as much of a warrior as your men.” Gandalf smiled and lifted his eyebrows.

“Well…” Thorin smiled and turned his attention to her. “A good aim. I hope you’re as good with other weapons as well.”

“She is.” Gandalf said and looked Thorin in his eyes. “Trust me.” Thorin shifted a little in the chair, before he silently nodded, and the discussion turned over to the plans.

Now the discussion really heated up – Bilbo had no idea what it was about, he wasn’t even a burglar or a warrior, and the discussion that followed was hot and ended up with Bilbo fainting as he saw the contract. Sigrael reacted quickly, and instead of take the difficult way around the table, she just jumped up on the table, hurried down it and jumped over Thorin and Gandalf and landed smooth like a cat where Bilbo lay. How she managed it in the small hobbit hole, was beyond what most of the dwarves had imagined she would be able to, but on the other hand, they had never seen her hunting or climbing difficult tracks across mountains.

After waking him up and getting him in a chair, Sigrael joined the dwarves to sit in the living room, and as all of them had gathered there, they started to hum a melody, sorrowed yet beautiful and Sigrael closed her eyes, just to feel the emotions in it. Then she opened her eyes again as someone started to sing. It was Thorin, and his baritone voice was absolutely beautiful to listen to, a sound more wonderful than anything she had heard in a long time.

At the second verse the rest of the dwarves joined in and she admired the beauty of the sad song, knowing that this moment she would remember rest of her life, like she was allowed to feel something the dwarves kept to themselves.

*

“Now, if we could talk?” Thorin asked as Sigrael stood outside the door to enjoy the fresh evening air. She had kind of expected this question.

“Sure, why not.” She smiled and sat down on a bench and he followed and sat down beside her, but both of them felt awkward as they sat there, just the two of them again. Yet so different from last time, and she shifted slightly, trying to find a way to feel more comfortable in general, but failed.

He looked out over the green hills, which looked more of blue and grey in the bright moonlight, shivering a little in the wind; she knew dwarves preferred their own towns, under the ground and deep inside the mountains, where there was no wind like the one up here. When he sat there, she couldn’t help but finding him majestic and feel awe – this was more than just an adventure to him and she got a feeling that this journey couldn’t be that bad, after all.

Without looking at her, perhaps still in doubt by letting a woman with them, he spoke. “So, you’re called Westwind.” He said and looked at her. “What is your real name?”

“I prefer to don’t tell that.” She said to him. “Do you expect a Ranger to tell the real name that easily?” she turned to him with a small smile on her lips.

“Well, as your leader I’d like to know something about you…” Thorin said and looked back at her, a determined expression in his eyes.

“Well, what can I tell…” she said low and looked thoughtful. “I can tell you my father was from Gondor, but I grew up in Eregion. Somehow, I ended up with the Rangers, as I’m a descendant of the dunedains, and as I was 20, I got my name and was considered as a Ranger. That is also how I know Gandalf. This is what I dare to share about me, for now.”

“I see.” Thorin smiled a little, pleased with at least getting to know something. He leant forwards, resting his elbows on his knee and lit his pipe again. “You impress me; if you don’t pay attention, you’re just another beautiful face of your race, but behind that, there seems to be a fierce warrior where the dunedain blood is still strong. But it also makes me uncomfortable – how do I know you’re not doing this to gain something less honourable?” He looked at her for a short moment and then scoping the landscape again; he couldn’t help but finding her beautiful, but also very interesting; her face and hour-glass shaped figure barely visible under her clothes gave a strong impression. But most of all he felt thrilled by a scar on her forehead, barely visible by the hair covering it but telling a story of a brutal fight – he had seen it that night in Bree but didn’t think about it as his thoughts were focused on something completely different, but he now saw that what he first thought of her, was just a small part of who she was, and he realized he accepted her in the company not only because of her skills and knowledge, but just as much because there was more to her than what the eye could see at first – she simply triggered his curiosity.

“Thank you.” She smiled and leant back a little. “So why are you still doubting me then? Is it because I am a woman?”

“Yes.” He said without hesitation. “Where I come from, women are fierce fighters, you don’t trifle with them, but they fight to protect home and family, not on the battlegrounds.”

“That is a cultural difference, not a lack of ability.” She said, her voice soft as before, but with a warning tone. Thorin looked at her again, calm face but challenging her to say more about the matter. “What about the women of Rohan, far better with swords than any other women in Middle Earth? Or the elfish maids from Greenwood that are fierce archers and dangerous up close with their daggers in wars?”

“Yet they don’t use it unless it threatens themselves.” Thorin mumbled and got up.

“I’m not going to a political discussion with this, my point is that I can be a warrior as good as your men if you just gave me the chance.” She rolled her eyes, not looking at him as she got up and was already heading up the stairs.

“Ever been in a battle? Fought for your life?” Thorin said as he followed her, grabbing her arm to turn her to face him.

“More than you believe; I’ve fought for my life against both people and creatures, fighting back goblins in the Misty Mountains. They’re crawling the mountains there, like ants.” She said and put down her pipe to put it in her pocket. “Or is the problem our night together, that you can’t handle the fact that we’ve been everywhere on each other?”

“No, and I thought we agreed on leaving it as a pleasant memory, and I intend to do so.” Thorin frowned at her and opened the door.

“Good, and so do I, and I hope you won’t let that night affect the quest.” She said and walked in, taking off her jacket and turning her back against him as she intended to walk back inside and hope that there was some ale left.

“I won’t, let’s hope you won’t either.” Thorin said and she turned back to look at him – that rude dwarf. He just stood there like what he said was nothing and took off his coat and armour.

“Right now, I’m finding you as the one that has a problem about that.” She put up a sarcastic smile and walked up close to him, almost whispering as she spoke. “Are you worried that being reminded of what you have seen of me might distract you? Or what I am able to do to you?”

“In here NOW.” Thorin growled and grabbed her shoulder and leaded her to a room across the hall – it was lit up with only one single lamp and she guessed it was a spare room, considering the bed and simple furniture. As Thorin closed the door, he pinned her against the wall, giving her a moment’s flashback to Bree, but his voice held a completely different tone as he spoke again. “I need to make a few things clear before we set off tomorrow morning; 1. I am the leader, you follow. You obey my commands, no questions or advices unless I ask for them.” Sigrael noticed she slipped down against the wall a little and for a moment it felt like Thorin was towering over her as he spoke. “2. Stay professional, words as the ones you just spoke will not be accepted.”

“Oh, so there is a-“

“3!” Thorin hissed and cut her off, and pushed her against the wall again, now with both his hands on her shoulders. “What we did in Bree never happened, not as long as we’re in this quest.”

They stared at each other, both feeling provoked but she knew she had to live with this if she was going to convince him. “If I knew you were going to lead the quest, I wouldn’t have done it, because that makes situations like these.” She said low and realized how close their faces were, and she placed two palms on his chest to create some distance, but found that it had quite the opposite effect on her – she wanted that chest rubbed against her breasts again and she took a deep breath to stay focused. Damned flashbacks.

“So why didn’t you ask what I was doing there?” He growled, not taking his eyes away from her.

“If I asked what you were doing in Bree, you would most likely lied about it anyways. This goes both ways.” She lifted one eyebrow and a small smile curled on her lips.

“Then I suggest we pretend it never happened.” Thorin said and took a step back.

“Agreed.” Sigrael said and straightened up.

“Good.” Thorin said and left the room. Sigrael sighed, knowing Gandalf had been completely right – maybe Thorin was stubborn, but the main problem was that he didn’t trust her; there were few he trusted except from his own kin. She knew what she would have to do for the next days and weeks, would be to show that she was trustworthy and that was far simpler said than done. She headed back to find an ale, shaking off the feeling of irritation and provocation, knowing she wouldn’t get anywhere with those hanging on her shoulders. She wondered why she bothered to even join in, but reminded her of Gandalf’s words; this quest would change her life, and most likely to the positive. She laughed a little, giving herself the challenge to make this positive. She knew she had to follow this group, but why, she didn’t know yet, she had just Seen some unclear glimpses. She had to trust her senses and Gandalf now, and let her mind rest for a while.

…

“Ah, there you are Thorin! I started to wonder where you had gone!” Gandalf smiled as he spotted the leader of the company. Gandalf sat in front of one of the fireplaces, being alone in the room, except from Thorin standing in the doorway.

“Sorting out a few businesses with your Ranger.” Thorin said and walked over to the fire and sat down in a chair in front of it.

“You don’t need to worry about her – I would have betrothed my life to her if needed.” Gandalf said and rested his hands on his lap.

“It’s not only her I worry about.” Thorin said low, not looking at Gandalf. “I believe she can fight, and her character seems to be strong, but the problem is that she’s a female.” Thorin looked at Gandalf, doing his best to look calm and serious.

“Why do you think that is a problem?” Gandalf asked calmly.

“Look at us – in all, we are 15 men but only one woman. Sooner or later, that will cause a problem.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Then look at her – she’s young and beautiful, easy on the eyes – something that will comfort and maybe tempt when the journey will be rough and hard.” Thorin sighed and looked into the fire, wondering if he had done the right thing when allowing her to come with them. “Some of us are still young; the touch of a woman is still something that occupies the mind more than the worries about tomorrow. Yet I let her come with us.”

“Thorin, I ask for your trust now, more than any time before – trust her, listen to her advices; it is of importance that you let her help you.” Gandalf said calmly. “And trust your men as well, I believe that they aren’t that easy to trick, and she won’t try to allure anyone. To her, this is a mission and she takes it seriously. Trust me.”

“And how can you know it is of importance that she comes with us? Why her?” Thorin looked at Gandalf again with a questioning face.

“She’s one of the dunedains, her father is of a very old line going back to the numenoreans – same as the old kings of Gondor. With these, you tend to see a gift of foresight – she has that gift. Shortly after we talked about this quest the first time, I met her in the Grey Havens, and she told me about a vision, she saw herself with a hobbit in a village built on poles on a lake, which she believed to be Laketown. The hobbit was telling her about his mother who was a Took. After thinking a lot about it, I understood she had seen a part of the quest and it was the meaning that I should bring her and Bilbo with me – I knew it had to be Bilbo.” Gandalf said with a small smile and inhaled more smoke.

“And what does your own sense say?” Thorin asked, surprised of these news.

“To trust her vision.” Gandalf said shortly. “It’s not often she has them, but when she does, they are often precise.”

“As you say…” Thorin sighed and shifted in the chair. “But as I said to you about Bilbo, I say the same about her; I will not guarantee her safety, nor will I be responsible for her fate.”

“That’s okay, I did not expect anymore as they’re not of your kin.” Gandalf shrugged his shoulders and Thorin glared in his direction. “The two of them will form their own alliance against any repugnance. Yet an alliance you can trust.”

“I hope so.” Thorin said and got up to take a last check on his company before going to bed. “Good night.”

He headed down the many halls to find the room he had occupied for the night, trying to convince himself that the quest would be fine and not at risk, yet he wondered if Gandalf were by his senses after all. He was so busy that he didn’t notice he walked by the Ranger until she spoke.

“Going to bed?”

He closed his eyes for two seconds before he turned to her. “I recommend you do the same, almost the entire company has already done so.”

“I was about to do so, I were just waiting for the bathroom.” She shrugged her shoulders and Thorin spotted the door beside her to the room she was speaking of. “But while I have you here, I take the opportunity…” she stepped closer to him and reached out a hand for him. “I will give you my loyalty, and hereby swear it is yours for as long as this quest lasts. I hope you accept my offer.”

He looked at her hand, before he took it – she laid a hand on top of his and looked him in the eyes. He let a long sigh out, wondering what had actually happened and looked back. “I accept your offer.” It was the only right thing to do, and if not anything, it felt safer with her swearing her loyalty to him, instead of just being their tail. With a heavy mind, he went to bed.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I hope you survived this - yes, this is supposed to be awkward, I'm that evil! Please give me feedbacks, that makes me very happy and you get a cookie! ^^


	3. The Journey Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the journey begins, and Sigrael is starting to find her place among the company, for a while forgetting about Thorin. He, on the other hand, is starting to wonder if it was clever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling so cruel to the characters, please forgive me!

Next morning Sigrael headed off with her new company, riding beside Gandalf and having a low discussion – she was worried since they left without even waking up Bilbo, but the wizard was sure there was no reason to feel that way. As the dwarves made their bets, she looked at Gandalf and saw that he really believed in this hobbit. “I am as sure about this that I was in you convincing Thorin.” He said with a small smile while Ori wrote down Gandalf’s deal about the bet.

“Well, then I place my bet on Bilbo as well.” She said with a small smile and handed Ori two coins.

“Now I must ask, since I didn’t get to speak with you last night.” Gandalf turned to Sigrael again. “How did you convince Thorin?”

“I’m not even sure myself. Let’s say I used my female list to make him see my qualities and come to a sort of agreement.” She shrugged her shoulders. Well, if she told Gandalf they had met before and how it ended up, she was sure he would tell her to leave. It would be better if nobody never got to know about her and Thorin, and she prayed that their agreement would keep her safe.

“I knew you would make it.” Gandalf smiled to her. “Speaking of him, I need a few words with our leader.” He said and his horse trotted to the dwarf in the front.

As Sigrael saw him, she blushed slightly – she didn’t quite understand what this was, but she had never started a relation to anyone that way. It didn’t help that this morning, during the quick breakfast, his eyes had rested on her a little longer than she was comfortable with – and she didn’t even know if she would like to know what he was thinking or not. When their eyes met the next moment, he held her gaze as he walked past her and left her with a heart beating fast and hard against her ribcage. What was this? 

Then she turned as she heard a familiar voice – Bilbo. He seemed to have made up his mind as he came running after them with the contract in his hand, and Sigrael couldn’t help but smiling as he was speaking with Balin – she knew she believed in this hobbit, that she had not been mistaken. Though he didn’t seem comfortable with horseback riding, he didn’t back off, even though he had forgotten his handkerchief and was given a piece of Bofur’s clothing instead.

“Welcome, Mr. Baggins.” She smiled to him and patted his shoulder as she was heading to the back of the group to make up the bets with Ori.

“Thank you, Westwind. Call me Bilbo, please.” He smiled back to her, relaxing a little at the friendly gesture.

“As you wish, Bilbo! And you’re allowed to call me Sigrael, my real name!” she smiled over her shoulder, glad to see him relax a little – he hadn’t heard Thorin’s message to the rest about Sigrael’s name nor that she had sworn loyalty to him and therefore considered as a full part of the company. She had a feeling that Bilbo would have a tougher time in this group than her, but she would stand up for him – he had a greater role than the others would believe.

*

”Darn it, holes in my socks, again!” Dori sighed as they had settled for the night, resting by the fire after the meal. Dori had noticed something about the toes of the socks and had gotten his boots off, just to see that each and every one of his toes were out in free air.

“Bad wool it looks like.” Bombur frowned. “Put them in the sack and fix them later, you have more socks.”

“But those are full of holes as well… I forgot thread and needles, so I can’t fix them.” Dori sighed and looked at his socks. “Been out on this journey for three days and already out of socks, amazing.”

“Hey, send them here.” Sigrael said and put her pipe in the mouth as Dori handed them. She then reached out for her bag, digging in it and then fished out some knitting needles, wool thread, and a darning needle as well. Soon she had knitted new toes and attached them to the old socks. “There, should hold for a few weeks. Send me the others as well, so you don’t have to be out of socks.” She smiled and Dori willingly did as she suggested and soon all his pairs were repaired and it was a thankful dwarf smiling to her as she had finished the job.

“You seem to be quite handy.” Bilbo said and looked at her as she put the knitting equipment aside, and leant back against the tree and smoking her pipe.

“One of the first things my mother learned me, was to fix my own socks, I’ve been doing it since I was 5. I find it just as useful as the other things she taught me.” She smiled to Bilbo.

“So, you bring with knitting and darning needles and thread everywhere?” Bilbo asked again.

“You never know when you need to repair clothes, or make some for that sake.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Tell me if you need socks! I dare to say I’m both good and fast!”

“Well, I rather walk with bare feet, but I’m more worried about the rest of the company here.” Bilbo laughed and nodded towards them.

“Really?” Kili sat up with a big smile. “And they’re warm?”

“My feet are never cold, thanks to her socks!” Gandalf smiled to him.

“I think I order a pair now.” Kili smiled to her.

“Me too!” Bofur winked to her, and soon she had a few pairs to start knitting. Well, a warm way to get included, she thought to herself and started to knit already.

*

“Haven’t you been knitting since you got up this morning?” Thorin asked as she was riding behind him, letting the reins loose as she trusted her horse to follow the leader, while she sat there with her pipe by the angle of her mouth, knitting a pair of dark blue socks.

“Aye” she smiled and lifted one eyebrow to him, before she leant sideways and compared the length to Bofur’s boots, making Thorin roll his eyes – after yesterday, they seemed to be best buddies already, and with the combination of their personalities, that would mean no peace. He was sure of it, and even worse, he didn’t like the way they tended to smile and laugh together.

“Getting closer! 1/3 length, right?” Sigrael asked as she was more or less hanging sideways in the saddle.

“About that.” Bofur smiled and she simply straightened up again. Thorin admired how easily she corrected herself in the saddle without using her hands to get up again because she was busy with the knitting – her legs had to be very strong or very used to the life on the horseback. ‘Just like – don’t even finish that thought!’ Thorin thought to himself as he closed his eyes and sighed.

“Great, then I start on the heel, and I’ll check the length of the foot when we stop next time.” She smiled and soon put a stick to avoid it loosening and started on the next.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Bofur said and looked ahead with a smile.

Thorin turned to her again. “Don’t your fingers get sore?”

“I’m used to it – I’ve been knitting and making clothes most of my life; all my gloves, hats and socks I’ve made myself, even some of the shirts for colder days.” She shrugged her shoulders, patting on her pipe. “It becomes a life style.” She grinned.

“I see that…” Thorin sighed and looked ahead – he had never heard of anyone using knitting as a way to get to know people, but he had a feeling that this woman was thinking outside the box and this wasn’t the last thing he would see of her ways.

*

“Now that’s one nice fella…” Bofur whispered as a roe deer buck was grassing on a field below them.

“Long time since I’ve tasted the wonderful roe stew Bombur makes, with fresh kidneys and heart…” Gloin sighed and turned away.

“Well, we do have two archers.” Dwalin said and looked at Sigrael and Kili, who was making the fire.

“Are you challenging us?” Kili asked and looked at the same deer as the others. “There’s no way you can sneak upon him, it’s at least 150m, and those bastards have an excellent hearing and see well in open lands.”

“Hey, are you backing off?” Sigrael smirked and looked at him.

“No, I’m admitting my limits.” He frowned and continued with the fire.

“Bofur, take over here.” She said and got up with a smile, grabbing her bow and arrows. Bofur smiled wickedly and continued their work. “Now, you come with me; I’ll show you how teamwork can trick that nice steak over there.” She smiled and pulled Kili with her.

…

“Hah, one coin!” Oin laughed and Nori rolled his eyes as they returned with the mentioned buck hanging over Kili’s shoulder.

“What is this?” Thorin asked and walked up to the camp – he and Gandalf had moved away to discuss businesses and he returned as he heard the excitement among the group.

“Bets!” Bofur smiled happily as Dwalin handed him one coin.

“This, my leader, is our meal tonight.” Sigrael said as Kili laid the buck on the ground, preparing the buck for the dinner.

“And how did that happen?” Thorin frowned, surprised by her hunting skills.

“We sneaked upon him and shot him with an arrow.” She smiled as she worked. “We found a post where Kili waited, and I used the wind to send him off to his direction. Kili put him down with a perfect shot!”

“I mean, the circumstances. We have food.” Thorin lifted one eyebrow, amazed by how quick she had turned the dead buck into one piece of meat ready to be eaten. Yet, he felt a tight knot in his chest – was his predictions about her and the younger ones in the company already turning out to be true?

“We got a challenge.” She shrugged her shoulders and Bombur picked up the body and hurried over to a place where he could prepare the meal. She started to clean the skin from fat and made a string of wood and rubbed it over the skin repeatedly, and Thorin noticed she had gotten the skin off without a single mark form the knife. Soon she was busy preparing the skin so it could be used later.

“Well, it spared some of our rations, good work.” He patted her and Kili’s shoulders and walked over to Bombur and soon the smell of fresh stew was all over the camp. But inside he felt twisted – he didn’t like that she was alone with Kili; a young dwarf like him was easy to distract, and Sigrael was, after all, a very beautiful woman. He sighed, wondering if this was clever after all.

*

Thorin was smoking in silence as the rest of the company was sleeping – so far, the journey had been going without any problems. No bigger events, no quarrels or discussions, no injuries and this was the fourth day – fourth day with two rather surprising companions, which to his even bigger surprise, had made no kind of problems. Bilbo was keeping up and did as he was told to and made very little of himself, while Sigrael was used to the wild and tended to disappear for a while for then showing up again with a rabbit or two, all the time leaving the horse with the company – it had confused them much the first time, but now they didn’t even care if the pony was suddenly walking along with no rider. She made fires, had an eye for good places to make camps and she was irritatingly good at making conversations and seemed to fit well among the dwarves – it even annoyed him that she had the same kind of wicked humour as the dwarves and could be as rude as them if she wanted to, making them to sometimes almost forget she was a Ranger. She seemed to already know dwarfish culture from earlier experiences, and that definitely gave her an advantage – after all, she had been travelling wide and far, it would be a miracle if she had never spent some time with dwarves.

Thorin let a long sigh out and turned to the east as he awaited the sun to climb over the mountains. He had expected her to cause some sort of problems, but Ori seemed to be just as shy around her as with anybody else, and his nephews didn’t treat her any different just because she was a woman. Which might be because she didn’t even lift an eyebrow as she had walked upon Fili watering a tree while she looked for firewood one of the evenings before, and with that stated she didn’t care if he had a wiener or not; she had seen much worse things and something as normal as a dick didn’t scare her. An episode that didn’t pass by in silence and gave her the fitting nickname ‘Wienerwind’ based on her previous nickname Westwind – she just walked by them and didn’t care. Maybe her ignorance had calmed down things, Thorin thought to himself. Or, he thought, she was so used spending time with men that she might identify herself as one. Unlikely, but not impossible, and it wouldn’t surprise him considering how she seemed   
to not be bothered by her status as the only female among 15 males.

He turned as he heard a soft, sleepy groan – that was definitely not one of his kin. He spotted the source, Sigrael turning around in her sleep, and he couldn’t help but smiling a little at the sight; she looked so peaceful when deep into lands of dreams. He turned away again, trying to avoid any pleasant flashbacks to occur, but it was already too late – he felt a tumbling feeling as he remembered the feeling of her warm and moist body in his arms, naked skin against his. He closed his eyes and sighed, wondering if this was going to happen regularly during the quest – that would be like torture. He turned again as he heard her moving, but then wishing he hadn’t; to see her snuggle closer to Bofur, who in his sleep laid an arm around her, was something he hadn’t believed could make his temper boil like this.

He put his pipe in his mouth again and inhaled deeply, slowly feeling the effect take place again and calm him down. Yet he wondered what all this was, and what this quest had started, what he had started in Bree.

*

“Thorin, may I have a word with you?” Sigrael whispered as she found the company again – she had left to find rabbits, but this time with none in her hands. Instead, she had a red shade across her cheeks, heavy breath and sweat starting to form on her forehead, indicating she had been running like hell to catch up on them.

Thorin looked at Balin, who seemed surprised as well and Gandalf rode up to them. “What is it?” the wizard asked, but Sigrael looked at Thorin, awaiting his permission.

“Yes?” Thorin asked, as to follow up Gandalf’s question.

“There are trolls in the nearby…” she said, taking a deep breath. “I found some trees, broken and pulled up by the roots, not even two days old considering the weather and temperature. Only trolls could have made such damages to the trees.”

“But they are far from the mountains!” Thorin stated, yet a little confused.

“That is why I am startled, Thorin.” She said and frowned, resting her hands on her knees as she took a few deep breaths. “There were some tracks, leading north-northeast. I guess it leads to their hiding place. I am fully sure it was troll tracks.”

Balin looked at Thorin and Gandalf with slight worry, but said nothing. The rest of the company looked nervous; meeting trolls already meant even more troubles and challenges along the way. Thorin sighed before he turned his pony. “The road goes east for a few more days, we follow the plan.”

Sigrael stared after him, before she turned to Gandalf, who stopped beside her while the rest of the company walked on.

“Is it true?” he asked as they were behind the rest of them.

“Yes. Much damage to the forest not far from the river.” She sighed, finally having control over her heartbeats and breath. “Gandalf, I ran 3 kilometres to catch up on you again, I wouldn’t have done that if I wasn’t sure.” She said low, straightening her back as her pony walked up to her, glad to see his rider again.

“I know.” Gandalf said low and looked at her with kind eyes as she climbed up in the saddle again. “I will try to speak with him again. In two or three hours we’ll make camp, hopefully I can make him move further south, but I’m afraid he won’t risk losing days by changing the direction.”

“He will have to turn north again after some time, I’m not talking about turning so much to the south that we get to close to Moria.” She sighed and looked to the left, into the forest. “But I am sure the trolls are there…”

“He will not get too close to Moria, be sure of that.” Gandalf said, and Sigrael remembered the story Balin had told them – it was heartbreaking to hear how much Thorin had suffered because of the pale orc, terrifying to see the bitterness and hatred in his eyes as the name was mentioned. He had suffered far more in his life than she was able to imagine, and her own mother’s sudden death seemed so much less compared to what he had gone through; from being the prince of the mightiest kingdom in Middle Earth to working as a smith to survive, watching family members die in the most brutal ways. Silently she had been thinking that after all, she should consider herself lucky.

“I know…” she muttered and they gently kicked their mounts to a steady trot to keep up with the company.

…

Sigrael looked nervously around as the dwarves started to make camp – Gandalf was right, they should move on. It had been a while since any lived here, but the damages told a story that made the hairs on her neck stand straight up. She heard Gandalf talking with Thorin and trying to convince him, so she decided to stay low, for now – after all, Thorin seemed to still not feel especially happy with her around, and she was not keen on being sent away either after getting to know the company.

Suddenly Gandalf bolted off, and she stood up from her bedroll and took a few steps after him, about to call after him as Bilbo was quicker than her and asked where he was going.

“To seek the company if the only one around here who’s got any sense!” he spat and walked straight past the dwarves.

“And who’s that?” Bilbo asked again and she wondered the same, but got a feeling that an insult was coming.

“Myself, Mr. Baggins!” he shouted, not even turning to look at them, for then mumbling. “I’ve had enough of dwarves for one day…”

The dwarves stared after him, yet Thorin seemed completely unaffected and commanded Bombur to continue cooking. She stared at Thorin and as he turned to walk away, she ran up after him. “Thorin, what was this about?” she asked low, not wanting to worry the company more.

“None of your businesses, Sigrael.” Thorin said and picked up something from his bag and sat down on a rock and started to sharpen his sword.

Sigrael stopped for a moment and just looked at him – he didn’t even look in her direction, focusing on his sword only. “So, it’s not my business to know what made my dear friend leave in fury, to not know what is going on in a quest I have sworn to follow, to not know what to do to help?”

Thorin stopped for a second, before shifting a little where he sat, straightening his back sighing before lifting his gaze just enough to meet hers. “If you are here to come with the same suggestions as Gandalf just did, there is nothing more to say.”

“Then I must know what he said.” Sigrael sighed and put her hands on her hips. “I can’t read minds…”

“We are not going to the Hidden Valley or Lord Elrond. We’ll make this without the help of the elves.” Thorin growled, his gaze hard and fixed on her.

“It’s about the map, is that so?” she asked and sat down on the ground in front of him. Thorin sighed and stared at her, like he was wishing she would just disappear. “What if Gandalf went there while we waited here somewhere? The elves wouldn’t have to know about us then.”

“I doubt Elrond would make any more sense of it than we already do.” Thorin spat and put his sword aside. “What is it that makes you find elves so trustworthy?”

“My experience with elves tells me to trust them.” Sigrael said calmly.

“Then you haven’t experienced how treacherous they are.” He hissed and looked at her. “How can you defend their actions when Smaug attacked Erebor, or when goblins took Moria, right at their own doorsteps?”

“Have I said anything about defending them?” Sigrael asked and looked Thorin in his eyes.

“By trusting them you are implying your support to them.” Thorin said low, leaning a bit forwards. “That makes me question your loyalty.”

She sighed and lowered her voice to a mere whisper nobody else could hear as she looked him in his eyes. “You still question my loyalty? It should say more than enough that the hands that pumped your shaft are willing to hold the shaft of a sword to fight for your name, kin and lost kingdom.”

Thorin’s eyes darkened as he stared back and the tension between them reached a level that was dangerously close to the evening at Bag End. “You seem to have forgotten a part of our deal.” Thorin growled, a grim snare on his lips.

“So have you, since I seem to have hit the nail here.” She sat up so she was sitting in a crouching position, ready to get up. “Don’t question my loyalty – I have my reasons to follow you, though not as glorious. Good night.” She said and left without looking at him – hopefully supper was ready soon, and she headed to her own bedroll.  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thorin, I am so, SO sorry - I didn't realize what I put you through until it was too late ;-;
> 
> To you readers: please leave a comment, I would love to know what you think of my story so far! <3


	4. Confronting Trolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title says most, trolls be everywhere! O_o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, here I'm also introducing you guys to my headcanon about what happened to Fili and Kili's father, and their relation to Thorin.  
> I should start writing scripts for tragedies.
> 
> In case you wonder - I don't consider myself as a cruel person!

Sigrael jumped as Fili came running through the forest, obviously startled by something, and she wasn’t the only one reacting immediately.

“What is it Fili?” Thorin asked and walked up to his nephew, who stood there and for a moment looked like he wanted a big hole in the ground to disappear in. “What?!” Thorin roared the second after.

“Bilbo, the ponies, trolls.” Fili said quickly, and in the next moment Thorin was running in the same direction Fili came from, and soon the other dwarves as well. There was no time to ask for anything more as they set off.

“What happened Fili?” Sigrael whispered and pulled Fili aside.

“We… we sent our burglar to get back the ponies…” Fili whispered and swallowed heavily. “A stupid idea!”

“It was.” Sigrael said, looking after the others. “Then there’s only one thing to do then, isn’t it?” she asked and laid a hand on his shoulder and leapt after the company.

They made it there just as they leapt out for the trolls, and Sigrael couldn’t help but letting out a long and desperate moan – mountain trolls. Slow and stupid, but skin thick as an elephant – it would be hard enough to get Bilbo back safely. She ran out as she pulled her sword out of the sheath and joined the battle.

She knew she would be bruised and battered, but she was starting to believe they would win the battle as it all suddenly stopped – she stared in disbelief as two of the trolls were holding Bilbo, giving them no other choice than to drop their weapons. For a moment their eyes met, and in Bilbo’s eyes she saw fear and a pray to get out from this alive and he moved his gaze to Thorin, and so did she. Their leader was fighting a battle he knew he was doomed to lose, and finally he dropped the sword, and the rest of them followed, wondering how they would get out of this.

…

Sigrael couldn’t believe her ears as Bilbo jumped up and tried to convince the trolls of different ways of cooking them – he was a genius! She rolled her eyes as the dwarves shouted back and called Bilbo a traitor, wondering if it would be clever to silence them or not. She tried to roll around in the sack she was caught in, but it was impossible to move with her hands and feet bound and lying like she did.

She never got to make up her mind about that matter. “But this one isn’t a dwarf, what should we do with her?” one of the trolls smirked and reached out a hand for her – damn, did they really have intelligence enough to see that she was just a small human? “Maybe we could just eat her raw as an appetizer!”

She shouted as he grabbed her by her legs and lifted her up and held her above his face, reaching out his tongue and lowering her towards the mouth. The breath was absolutely horrible and she fought to not throw up by the horrible smell coming towards her as a storm and she closed her eyes and tried to think of something happy as her last memory.

“WAIT, not her!” Bilbo shouted and the troll lowered her down a little.

“Give me one good reason to not eat her as an appetizer…” he growled to Bilbo.

“Well, she would be better as a breakfast, actually, and if you can catch one of the ponies, they make a wonderful blend – can go on for all day, a very balanced mix!” Bilbo just rambled and Sigrael wondered where he got all the ideas from. She begged that the trolls found it as a good idea.

“He’s got a point, this one’s hardly got any fat!” the troll sighed and dropped her down so she crashed onto Thorin and Oin, while Bombur was suddenly being picked up.

“I wouldn’t do that. He’s… eh… got parasites. In his tubes.” Bilbo said and tried to look convincing. “Actually, they all have. Terrible businesses, I wouldn’t take the chance.” Bilbo said and the dwarves were angrier than before, Kili shouting that Bilbo was the one with parasites.

“Ew!” The troll tossed Bombur down again and he crashed onto Sigrael, Thorin and Oin, and a string of curses followed as he landed heavily on them. Sigrael wondered how much longer they would be toyed with before help came, and the dwarves got angrier for each parasite comment anyone made.

“I know, it’s really disgusting.” Bilbo muttered and looked at them with an uncomfortable face. “Believe me, it’s horrible.”

“Bullshit, I’ve eaten a lot of them raw, and never got any parasites in me tubes!” another one of the trolls said and Bilbo rolled his eyes, trying to come up with something.

The dwarves continued to shout angrily but Sigrael looked at Thorin and then it dawned on him, and he kicked Kili, who stared at him for then shouting. “I have big parasites!”

“I have parasites big as my arm!” Oin shouted and soon all of the dwarves shouted about all the parasites she had.

Then it dawned on the trolls as well and as they were going to grab Bilbo, a familiar voice spoke and they saw Gandalf standing on the rock, claiming the dawn would take them – he hit the rock with his staff and sunlight shone through, turning the trolls to solid rock within moments. The company stared in awe for then yelling in joy as they realized the danger was over – for now.

“So, you’re better served with ponies, is that so?” Bofur laughed and helped Sigrael getting out of the sack.

“Seems so, I better keep my good old Trevor away from these lands.” She laughed and got up on her feet.

“That just sounded… so awkward…” Fili laughed to Bilbo.

“I couldn’t predict that he would pick up the only human in our company, and I had to come up with a good reason to not eat her raw!” Bilbo shrugged his shoulders and put up the most innocent smile.

“You’re good as gold, you know that?” Sigrael laid one arm around his shoulder and hugged him.

*

“I’ve been many smelly places during my life, but this is top 3…” Sigrael mumbled as they entered the troll cave – Gandalf had found it and wanted to check it out, as something didn’t seem to be right.

“So what’s the worst then?” Gloin asked out of curiosity.

“To be pushed against an orc’s crotch during battle…” she said low and shivered by the thought.

“I didn’t see that coming…” Nori lifted his eyebrows.

“Look at these…” Bofur then said, and before she knew it, the three dwarves were filling up a casket with gold and digging a hole in the ground, claiming they made a long term deposit – she now understood the myth about the dwarves’ theft of money, gold and treasures.

Sigrael rolled her eyes and caught up on Thorin and Gandalf in front – the Ranger in her wanted to know as much as possible. After all, she was a protector of these lands. She peeked into boxes, barrels and other places where a lot of objects were hidden, objects from near and far – these trolls had been here for a long time, but she guessed that some of these things had been there even longer than them. Then Gandalf found two swords that made her heart skip a beat; Glamdring and Orcrist. “Gandalf, those…” she whispered, not believing her eyes – she had only seen paintings of them, hearing the stories, now she was looking straight at them in a troll cave, of all places in Middle Earth.

Thorin took Orcrist in his hands and admired it as Gandalf spoke. “These are not of human hands. They’re made by elves.” Thorin looked at Gandalf with sudden disgust and was about to put it down again as Gandalf spoke again. “You could not wish for a finer blade.”

Thorin seemed to think hard before he made up his mind and kept it. Sigrael rolled her eyes as they walked back to daylight, letting Thorin walk in front of her. It was then she stepped on something and looked down – moving a few leaves away with the tip of her shoe, revealed a small sword. “Look Gandalf…” she whispered and picked it up. “It’s Sting…”

“Bilbo…” Gandalf whispered and took it as she handed it to him.

“Aye.” She smiled – they both had been thinking the same.

*

She felt shaky when she sat down by the fire that evening – after the incident with the trolls, they had decided to continue moving despite the fact that most of them hadn’t got any sleep last night, since they had managed to find all the ponies again. Now as she finally could sit down, the sun sinking but still visible at the evening sky, she was trembling of both exhaustion and that the fear for being eaten by trolls still hadn’t let her go.

“You right, lass?” Bofur asked friendly as he sat down beside her, handing her a bowl with stew.

“I can’t remember being this tired and smelly all my life…” she groaned and looked at him, smiling a little as to thank him for the bowl.

“You’re not alone about that.” He said and gently rubbed her back with his hand before he started to eat.

They ate in silence and for a few minutes the sound of spoons scraping the bowls were the only thing to be heard. Slowly, the company started talking again, and she admired how they kept their spirits up when being this tired.

She then spotted Thorin and she couldn’t help but frowning a little at the sight – he sat on a tree trunk and looked tiredly at the fire, looking like he hadn’t slept for a week, his eyes barely open, but that wasn’t what surprised her. What made her pay attention was that his nephews were sitting beside him, resting against him and sleeping, like two sons would do with their father. Fili was sitting with both his legs on the trunk and his back resting against Thorin, while Kili sat turned forwards like his uncle, but resting his face against the fur on Thorin’s shoulders.

Bofur noticed that she was looking at them and so did he. While they watched them, Thorin fell asleep as well and his head dropped sideways, so his cheek was resting on top of Kili’s head. The three of them sat there, sleeping silently.

“That’s not what you see every day.” Sigrael said silently to Bofur.

“Well, I have to agree on that.” Bofur said and took her empty bowl. “Though it’s not unexpected either, he’s their uncle after all and has been like a father to them most of their lives.” He got up to place their bowls amongst the other ones so Balin could clean them.

“Don’t they have a father?” she asked as Bofur came back.

“He died when they were children, I think Kili was 8 and Fili 13. Nasty mining accident, back in Ered Luin. It was then Thorin took the responsibility to raise the lads, as Dis was so broke and down after losing her husband.” Bofur sighed as he looked at the three of them. “But Thorin have always been a great uncle for them, so he took the role as a father and taught them his skills as a blacksmith, and took them under the learning of becoming warriors, and by time also prepare them for the possible outcome of becoming the heirs of Durin. As Dis slowly recovered, she came back to their lives, but Thorin will always be like an extra father to them.”

“Poor lads…” she whispered, knowing the pain of losing someone dear, knowing it too good. At least they still had an uncle and their mother doing anything for them, she had never had that. “But what happened? To their father, that accident?” Sigrael whispered to him.

“I’m not sure if you want to hear it.” He said low.

“I can tell you to stop if it’s too much.” She looked at him.

“Well then…” Bofur sighed and then continued. “By time, many of us moved to Ered Luin, as we had lost Erebor and Moria. I was young at this time myself, I worked with mining there, like my own father, and we both were hired to help them create mines in Ered Luin as they started to build out a new part of the mountains. What happened, was that Fili and Kili’s father was helping to remove a large block of solid rock to get access to a vein of gold, when suddenly the entire block loosened, not just piece by piece as planned, and everyone had to jump away quickly – unfortunately for him, as he jumped away, he stumbled on a fence and fell down 15 metres into another trench. He might have survived the fall, as dwarves are strong and stubborn, not to mention heavily built, but when the piece of that block loosened and fell on him, it wasn’t much to do about that.”

“It really wasn’t his day…” Sigrael muttered, getting an unpleasant feeling in her gut as she imagined the accident.

“Poor Thorin, he was working there as well, in the smithy, with crafting hammers, crowbars, sledgehammers. You get used to the sound of these constantly against the rock and commandoes here and there, so if something goes wrong, you hear it at once. He heard the suddenly crashes of a massive block, a moment of complete silence before the panicked shouts down the shafts. He ran down to see if he could help, but…” Bofur shrugged his shoulder. “I and my cousin had do lead him away as the sight of his poor brother-in-law’s destroyed body almost broke him completely.”

“If I haven’t got things wrong; first he lost his brother, then his grandfather to Azog, then his father, and then his brother-in-law as well?” she asked and Bofur nodded. “Could drive anyone insane…”

“Indeed, but instead of losing his mind and give up hope, he stood up for his nephews, knowing so much about the future that rested on their shoulders. That’s also why he has brought them with him now – to finally make men of them and worthy their titles, so that all the tragic incidents in the past weren’t in vain. That something good would come out of it.”

Sigrael looked at them for a while, taking in the impression of their story, and the dwarves soon settled down for the night and fell asleep. Gandalf was taking the first watch, and as he walked past Sigrael, she whispered to him. “What about those?” she nodded towards the trio on the tree trunk.

“Let them sit there, if they wake up, they know where to find their beds.” Gandalf smiled warmly.

*

“Sigrael, would you go and see if Fili and Kili are all right?” Balin said low to Sigrael as the company prepared to go to sleep – Fili and Kili had headed for a pond to take a bath, but had been gone for quite a while and Thorin was getting restless, so Balin figured out it would be better getting them back soon – the incidents of yesterday were still making nervous.

“Sure, I’ll go.” She said and he nodded to her as she got up.

She knew exactly where the pond was and silently headed over there, in case something had happened, her hand tightly around the sword, ready to pull it out from the sheath. She hardly made any sound at all as she approached it and knew that they hadn’t heard her as she saw them sitting by a tree, obviously deep in thought and whispering between them in dwarfish, a language where she knew only one word, Khazad, which meant dwarf.

Kili was dressed in his shirt and trousers while Fili still sat there with a towel around him – to her surprise, they weren’t as heavily built as she believed them to be, but she guessed it was the betrayal of their clothes. Right now, they looked like smaller versions of ordinary men, but she knew they were considered young, and she guessed they still had time to mature to become men of the same calibre as the rest of the company. At least both of them seemed to be well trained, with muscular and defined bodies and their arms especially and she guessed that if she gave them a few years, they would be of the same class as Thorin – Thorin’s body, that made her smile for an embarrassing moment as she tried to keep those memories away.

“Hey, brothers!” she shouted before she stepped out on the path, giving them a chance to end their discussion.

“Sigrael!” Kili smiled and calmly got up, his hair still moist after the bath, while Fili sat for an extra moment before he got up, pulling the shirt over his head – it seemed like Kili had been taking a bath first while Fili kept an eye, for then switching before they got too lost in this conversation. Maybe they had a plan, but they failed slightly and she couldn’t hold back a smile; planning wasn’t their strongest side.

“Your uncle is getting a bit worried about you, the company is preparing for the night.” She smiled to them and leant against a rock. “Anything happened?”

“No, we just got a bit carried away about a few matters and lost track of time.” Kili said and shrugged his shoulders.

“I noticed.” She smiled to them, making Kili frown. “Well, I have no idea what you were talking about, your language is a well preserved secret.”

“Yeah, it is.” Kili smiled and patted her shoulder. “Hurry up brother!” he smiled back to Fili and then walked away, leaving Fili and Sigrael alone.

“Refreshing?” she smiled and headed down to the shore and looked at the tempting water – she would at least like to wash her face.

“It is, the water was nice and cooling.” Fili said and had used the moment to get his trousers back on, and then turned to look at her. “I could wait for a moment and keep an eye if you’d like to use the chance.”

She looked at him, then at the pond, knowing the company was waiting, but it tempted her so badly; she hadn’t got a chance to clean her body for days and she was sure she still smelled of troll. Then she smiled to him, a simple nod and she quickly got her jacket and shirt off and Fili sat down by the tree, facing away from her.

It was great to get to wash her face, but as she threw some water on her torso, she realized she needed to clean her entire being – she quickly got her boots and trousers off and she ran to the water.

Fili jumped by the sudden splash and turned to see, relieved when she showed up again a few metres away from where she dived. She stood there with water up to her waist, rubbing her hair and splashing water over her, making sure she got clean.

“Soap?” Fili asked and held up one. Before she got to answer, he threw it to her and somehow she managed to catch it without dropping it.

“Thank you!” she smiled and was glad she now could get properly clean and even smell fresh.

Soon she was pleased and threw the soap back to him, and he took the hint. “Here, take this!” he threw the towel at the ground in front of her and she quickly picked it up and draped it around herself.

“Thank you.” She smiled and started to twist water out of the long, brown bangs of her hair before she tucked the towel around herself. “I think I finally got rid of that troll scent…”

“I think so, I don’t think I can smell troll anymore.” He smirked to her, being answered by her stepping up to him and slapping her wet hair against him. “Okay, I got it!”

“Smell my troll” she teased back and quickly rubbed her body, stopping as she heard something from the camp, a pot being thrown and then some strings of curses followed by laughter. “And I who thought Thorin said that they were preparing for the night…”

“Well, somebody isn’t.” Fili smiled and looked up at her, for then realizing she stood there in the towel only and quickly looked away, a red blush spreading on his cheeks.

“Come on, there’s nothing new to see?” she smiled as she noticed his funny expression; indeed he was a charming young dwarf, he even had manners.

“Well… you don’t have a beard. I wonder what the next would be.” He said and looked at her from the corner of his eye.

“It’s quite funny – you dwarf men are much alike human men, except from height and heavier built, but why are the differences between the women of our breeds so… different?” she asked and rubbed her hair with the towel, trying to get as much water as possible out of it.

“I have no idea, but I don’t think you’re that different either.” Fili said and got up on his feet again.

“Well, I still guess we have wider hips, a pair of breasts and look the same if you spread our legs, I would be shocked if they had some sort of a reptile function instead and laid eggs.” she said and picked up her clothes.

“Believe me, they don’t lay eggs.” Fili laughed and leant against the tree.

“I’m glad to hear. So, maybe the only difference is the beard and height then?”

“Yeah, and maybe you are a bit slender, but I guess that varies as much about you as with dwarves.” Fili shrugged his shoulders.

“Believe me, it does.” She said and looked at him and was about to speak again as another voice was heard.

“Everything’s fine?” a deeper voice suddenly asked and Thorin walked up to them – Sigrael looked at him from where she was standing with her clothes in her arms.

“Sure.” Fili said and looked at his uncle. “Why?”

“Only Kili returned and I wondered why it took time, so I decided to check – who knows what can happen when orcs are lurking around.” He said, but looked at Fili like he suspected something.

“Sorry, it’s my fault.” Sigrael said to Thorin. “I decided to take a quick bath myself to get rid of that last troll scent, and Fili was being a gentleman and made sure I was safe. Nobody’s harmed and we do not smell anymore.” She smiled and shifted her weight a little.

“Good.” Thorin said shortly to them. “Fili, you go back to the camp.” Thorin said and nodded his head in the right direction – Fili looked at Sigrael with lifted eyebrows before he left without a word. As he was out of hearing, Thorin turned to Sigrael. “Another reason I doubted.”

“And what was that?” she asked and corrected the clothes she held in her arms.

“Distraction. One woman among many men; that might be hard.” Thorin said and crossed his arms.

“So, I should stop cleaning myself in case anybody got distracted? I’m more worried that odour might distract them…” she rolled her eyes. “But I shall keep it in mind. Now, if you have me excused…” she turned away and let her towel drop and quickly pulled on her trousers.

Thorin wasn’t prepared, and all he could think of, was how her warm and soft skin felt against his palm, how her lips had kissed his neck, her hands pulling him closer, how she lowered her back to let him go even deeper. He remembered the scents from her, like intoxicating perfume, and as he watched her dressing up, he felt a moment of frustration as she was hid behind clothes again.

“Just keep the chance of distraction in your mind…” he growled and turned to leave.

“I would advise you to do the same…” she said and he stopped in his tracks and turned back to her. He lifted his eyebrows and she continued. “I noticed.” She simply said and straightened up, fully dressed. “Same happens to me…” she mumbled as she walked past him – damn, he was chewing her nerves and she started to wonder if this was clever at all.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks. We all have them.


	5. Refuge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, they've gotten past the trolls and are approaching Rivendell - but as we know, that isn't a very smooth part of the journey, rather tough.

The next evening Sigrael was taking the first shift of night watching, sitting on a rock beside the camp, wearing her cloak tucked tightly around her while she smoked her pipe – it was all silent, except from snoring from some of the dwarves. She found it all peaceful and hardly noticed as time went by, it was just a coincidence that she noticed that the moon was moving, and she went down to wake up Bofur.

“Sorry I’m late.” She whispered as she gently shook him awake.

“Nothing to worry about.” He whispered and yawned, stretching his arms before he got up, bringing his blanket with him.

Sigrael put some more wood on the fire before she looked at Bofur who sat down on the same rock as her. “Is it okay if I sit here for a few minutes and smoke with you?” she asked as she saw he lit up his pipe.

“Sure lass, and make sure I’m awake before you go to sleep.” He smiled and moved slightly so there was space for her as well.

She jumped up and sat down beside him and he lit her pipe again and they were silent for a minute while he made an over-view and she checked on everyone of the company, and then it dawned on her, something she had wondered about but didn’t dare to ask anyone else – after all, the dwarves were secretive and even though she felt welcome among them by now, she had her reasons for being careful. But the last days she had learned that she and Bofur were quite equal on many things, and she dared to trust him. “Tell me Bofur” she whispered and he turned his attention to her. “If I’m not wrong, Fili and Kili are 70 and 75, right?”

“Aye” Bofur said and inhaled smoke.

“And Thorin is 195. If I haven’t got you dwarves completely wrong, and forgive me my lack of knowledge about you, I mean no disrespect, but doesn’t most dwarves marry and get children when they’re 80-160?” she looked at Bofur, a curious expression on her face.

“That’s right, if they find someone.” Bofur said and blew a smoke ring. “Fili and Kili are the sons of Thorin’s sister Dis, as I told you about the other day, which was 14 years younger than Thorin and the youngest of the three of them – Thorin also had a brother, Frerin, who was 5 years younger than him, but he died young, only 48 years old, Azanulbizar, no children. Both Thorin’s father and grandfather were both 102 years old when their oldest son was born.”

“So… Are there any reasons Thorin doesn’t have children?” she asked, knowing by a comment from Fili that Thorin didn’t have any children; Thorin had been a great uncle and good with children and a father to them, but he was glad he had no children of his own because of the expectations he had to his nephews, he couldn’t imagine how hopeless it would be to be his own son.

“Well, a sad result of the tragic fate of Erebor.” Bofur sighed and looked at Sigrael.

“How many tragedies can one family suffer?” Sigrael asked and exhaled smoke.

“If we knew…” Bofur sighed. “After what happened in Erebor and at Azanulbizar, Thorin’s mind became so occupied with the future of his folk that he hasn’t been able to bond to anyone. There were a few beautiful, young maidens of good families that would have been a good match, both in blood and mind, but…” Bofur shrugged his shoulders. “It all has ended up with him relying that Fili will be a good heir, though Fili insist that Thorin should foster his own children.”

“Really? Doesn’t he want to be king?” Sigrael frowned.

“Well, both he and Kili knows that most likely they will be the only ones left after the line of Durin and the next heirs, but as I understood from Kili, Thorin and Fili had a longer discussion once that each and one of them had a certain responsibility to secure the future of our race. We are few, and if we find someone we can bond to, we should breed our own children – girls and women are rare, the birth rate is low, and it’s no secret that if it continues like this for a few generations, we might extinct someday. So Fili’s point was that he can accept being heir, but their line is getting thinner and Thorin should use the chance if he gets it. And I think that the grumpy King-to-be needs some care and affection in his life, his mood has gotten darker and darker of late.” Bofur sighed and looked at Sigrael.

“Maybe it all solves out when we defeat Smaug and he’s the King under the Mountain?” she asked and looked at Bofur. “No reason to worry, a massive relief and things fall back in order?”

“Oh, I think the solution is closer than he believes, but he has to get Smaug out of the way first.” Bofur said and smiled a little. “Patience.”

“Closer than he believes?” she frowned and looked at Bofur.

“If you don’t see it, I suggest you go to sleep now.” Bofur said with his pipe sticking out from the corner of his mouth while he looked for more pipe-weed in his pockets with a smirk.

“Maybe I should…” she smiled but then remembered their deal from last night around the campfire. “Hey, shouldn’t I tell my story?”

“Oh, that’s right, you made me a promise yesterday!” he said and started to push more weed in the pipe – he had asked Sigrael quite often about her story, but she had still wanted to be careful, but yesterday she had promised to tell Bofur next time she found an opportunity – and now seemed to be a good time. “Go on!” he encouraged her and smiled.

“Righty-oh!” she smiled and inhaled smoke – Bofur would be the first of the dwarves to know her story, and somehow it felt just right. “My father is lord Silamund; he comes from Dol Amroth in Gondor, where he met my mother, Minarel, who came from Linhir. They met by a coincidence as she moved with her family to Dol Amorth, and they fell in love. From her point of view, it was true love, but as she got pregnant and told him, it turned out that it wasn’t anything serious from his side. In shame and fear, she fled, leaving everything behind and ended up in Eregion, northeast of the town Eharbad, where she gave birth to me and raised me alone. We lived mostly from what we could get out of two cows and three sheeps and a horse, and what we could find in nature.” She inhaled more smoke and blew a smoke ring as she thought of when her mother died.

“Well, sounds like she made sure you were fine about your situation, despite the tragic start.” Bofur said and looked at her.

“She really did.” Sigrael smiled to him. “Unfortunately, she got surprised by some orcs when she was out hunting one morning, and returned barely alive. I did all my best to heal her, but the damages were too big and three days later she died, and instead of finding healing herbs I had to make a grave.” She sighed and looked at the sky. “It didn’t take long before I realized I had no chance to keep it running at our little farm alone, so I brought with all the animals to Eharbad where I sold them and the farm. From the money I got, I saved most of them but bought myself a useful sword and some new boots and a younger and smaller horse. Then I wandered off into the wilderness, heading for Rivendell…” she sighed, hoping it wouldn’t upset Bofur. “My mother happened to know lord Elrond, and had told me that if anything happened, I should seek his advice.”

“That’s tough for a young girl.” Bofur said with empathic eyes on her, and to her relief, he made no comment about her knowing elves.

“Though, I think Elrond saw that Rivendell wasn’t the place for me, he might have Seen a thing or two, and he sent me off with the first Rangers visiting him. They taught me even more about nature and life, and taught me swordsmanship, and when I was 19 I went into the first battle, even got myself a nice scar on my upper arm. My life is still young but I dare to say it has been filled with happenings, good and bad.” She smiled to Bofur. “Life is life, I won’t say it has been any worse than what you can expect.”

“At least your story seems to have a happy ending so far.” Bofur smiled and patted her back.

“So far. Life is brutal, you can’t go through it without getting any scars.”

*

Sigrael sat on the rock and looked at Radagast as he lively discussed with Gandalf – the news he brought was not of the good ones, and it worried her. If Greenwood was getting sick, it was a sign that was clear enough to be understood by most people.

She was lost in thoughts as her ears suddenly reacted – soft yet large paws on crispy leaves on the moist ground. Warg.

In the next moment a warg jumped down and attacked them, and another one followed and for a few seconds it was chaos. Sigrael helped getting one down, but the second one was standing too close to her as an axe was planted in its skull – it immediately collapsed and crashed down on her. It was impossible to breathe and she felt like she was being squeezed and could burst in any moment, the pain was unbelievable and the sound of a rib giving in was just sickening. She had fallen off horses before and ended up under them somehow, but that had not been as bad as this.

Several of the dwarves immediately reacted and helped her getting out and she gasped for air as her lungs finally was allowed to breathe again. “Are you alright?” Gloin asked and looked over her.

“Yeah, think so…” she gasped and dusted her clothes off. “I think I just got beaten up, a broken rib perhaps.” She muttered and held her side – damn, it hurt to breathe.

“We need to find shelter now.” Bofur said low as he checked her back, but not finding anything that alarmed him.

“Only thing I can find is my arm acting a bit weird, but it’s not painf- oh wait it is!” she hissed as she realized her shoulder was dislocated.

“Can you run with it?” Thorin asked as he walked up to her, a stressed look on his face and almost irritated gaze, like it was her fault the warg collapsed to the left and not right. “We need to find safety, and that quickly.”

“I think I could.” She said and looked at her sword, taking it in her left hand instead – it felt weird, but better than no sword at all. She sighed in irritation, both from getting injured and because of Thorin’s look on her, but she decided to ignore it; this situation was a matter of life and death.

…

Sigrael was desperately trying to breathe as they realized they were surrounded – the plan with Radagast luring them away had worked perfectly fine until one warg had gotten the sense of them and refused to die in silence. Sigrael looked around, trying to focus on coming up with a smart plan, but the throbbing and dull pain in her shoulder and chest distracted her. Normally she would now have used a bow and shot down her enemies, but she wasn’t able to even pull back the arrow and the frustration was overwhelming. She looked for Gandalf and for a moment the frustration was close to eruption when he suddenly showed up again. “Over here, you fools!” he shouted, ignoring the comments from the dwarves about being abandoned. She gathered those closest to herself and safely got them down the escape and soon it was only her, Thorin and Kili left.

She looked down the small hole and suddenly realized that her dislocated shoulder would give her a problem jumping down and she watched nervously as Kili jumped and slid down with grace despite the hurry. Thorin seemed to have understood what she was thinking as he pulled her close to himself and laid an arm around her aching shoulder to protect it, and then he jumped.

She kept her eyes shut and pressed her face against his shoulder, holding her breath as she felt them sliding down before their feet hit the ground. She opened her eyes and quickly stepped back, sending Thorin a small smile in thankfulness. He looked back at her, giving her a simple nod as to tell her he wasn’t impressed, but appreciated her gratitude, and turned away. It felt like she had swallowed a rock.

But that feeling was quickly replaced with surprise: elfish hunting horns and her chest suddenly burst in joy and gratefulness. Chaos was sounding from above them, and suddenly one orc crashed down, dead – a quick examination of the arrow confirmed that it was an elfish hunting group, but soon it was all silent and nothing more was to be heard.

“Elves!” Thorin hissed and looked at Gandalf, his voice full of doubt and anger.

“There is another way out of here – do we follow it or not?” Dwalin suddenly asked – he had been checking the place and his timing was perfect.

“We follow it, of course!” Bofur answered and immediately the rest of the company was following the narrow way out. Sigrael hardly noticed her pains as she grew excited – she recognized the path, it would lead them directly to Rivendell, and Rivendell meant rest, good food, care and peace.

Soon the path widened and Rivendell was lying ahead of them – most of them stopped in awe and admired the beauty of the place, but also with confusion; they had never planned stopping in Rivendell. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” Thorin asked Gandalf, glaring up at him. “Bringing us straight to our enemies!”

“You won’t find any enemies here, Thorin.” Gandalf said with a strict and not surprisingly irritated voice. “The only ill will to be found here is what you bring with yourself.”

“That burned…” Sigrael mumbled to Bilbo, who tried to look like he didn’t hear Gandalf’s burning words.

“They will try to stop us.” Thorin said like he didn’t hear Gandalf.

“Yes, but we have questions that needs to be answered. Therefore, this has to be handled with tact, and a small doze of charm, so you leave the speaking to me.” Gandalf said with a small, yet wicked smile. “And here Sigrael might be very useful as well.”

Thorin glared at Gandalf, then at Sigrael and knew he was right; after all, she was a Ranger and the Rangers had since long passed ages had a bond to the elves, and he realized she wouldn’t be an exception, of course that had to be one of Gandalf’s reasons to pick her. Maybe they would get out of here with nothing spoiling their journey after all – still, he didn’t like it.

…

“Do you think your friendship … can solve this?” Bilbo whispered carefully to Sigrael as they headed down the path – last night she had mentioned it to their burglar while they were picking firewood, as he was keen on knowing more about the elves. At least he didn’t hold any hostility against elves and would keep a secret.

“At least make things a little easier.” She whispered back with a small smile and looked back over her shoulder – the company looked slightly nervous, but at the same time somehow relieved; Rivendell might mean some more food and rest, if nothing else.

“And Elrond will welcome us?” Bilbo asked, suddenly sounding a little nervous.

“He will. And don’t be nervous – elves are known for their hospitality and they will be curious about you; they don’t meet many hobbits these days and would love to speak with you.” She said low and with a kind smile to him.

“Sure about that? I don’t want to demand things, but… I have always wanted to… Speak with them, seeing how they see the world and…” he shrugged his shoulders as he whispered, wondering how she understood why he was nervous.

“And you will.” She smiled and laid a hand on his shoulder. It seemed like the company had been too busy with their own thoughts to notice their conversation, and that relieved her – everything was about timing.

…

Sigrael rolled her eyes at the sight – she had never believed to find herself in the middle of a circle with scared dwarves pointing their weapons against elves, protecting themselves against them. She hadn’t even bothered to raise her sword; her shoulder was still aching, and she saw no need to raise it against friends either. As things calmed down, she had to fight the urge to laugh – she was among friends, yet she was defended against them.

Gandalf and Elrond welcomed each other and she heard them discussing the orcs – she just wanted to run up to Elrond and give him a hug, but she was waiting patiently till he turned the attention towards them. And he did, as Thorin stepped ahead – she had never known Elrond knew Thrain, but then again – she had never asked. She started to wonder why she hadn’t asked him about all the things in the world during those years she spent in Rivendell, but inside, she was glad he had already taught her a lot about it. She just hadn’t had enough time.

“And I see you bring with a dear friend of mine.” Elrond said and she suddenly paid attention again. He was now looking at her with a warm smile, a smile he would give a daughter. Sigrael couldn’t hold back her own smile anymore as she stepped out of the group and walked towards him – finally she could give him a hug.

“Iellig” he said warmly as he laid an arm around her healthy shoulder.

“Ada” she smiled back before she took a step back and bowed her head for him – he was the closest thing to a father she had ever had and she respected him deeply. She then looked up at him again, the ever warm smile back on her face.

“And now I wonder what have brought you here.” He said and looked at her with one lifted eyebrow, still with a small smile.

“I guess you mean what I am doing with 13 dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard?” she said and he nodded – she sighed and smiled before she answered. “I’m a Ranger, things like these happens and with that said, stranger things have happened before. This is a long story, and Gandalf will tell it better than me, and gladly with a cup of your grape wine.”

“That is very true.” He said and laid a hand on her good shoulder. “Though I wonder if this journey has been hard on you, I find you a bit pale and that shoulder looks dislocated.”

“Not harder than any of my earlier journeys, it’s just my first close meeting with a warg.” She smiled to ensure him she felt fine. Really, the only thing she could complain about was the lack of sleep, exhaustion from today’s running and her shoulder. And the broken rib. “Well, I need someone to check my shoulder, though, so it won’t end up badly.”

“I can see that – we’ll fix it.” He said before he stepped forward towards the dwarves, and in elfish invited them for dinner. Sigrael rolled her eyes as she wondered why he just didn’t say it in the common tongue, especially when Gloin made a little mess about it, ready to insult back. Thankfully, they softened when Gandalf explained that food was ahead.

They followed Elrond to some chambers he offered them where they could put their things and rest after the dinner that was ahead – he left them so he could make sure dinner was ready for them, but her little secret was now out, as she had expected.

“I didn’t know you were a friend of elves?” Thorin asked her as she was looking through her bag for some pain killing ointments.

She closed her eyes and counted to three before she turned to him. “And the problem is?”

“If you know and trust the elves, how can we trust you?” he asked low and she realized it was silent – all of the dwarves were now paying attention to the confrontation.

“You found me trustworthy earlier, why is that now different? Because of my friendship with Elrond?” she asked openly, crossing her arms across her chest.

“If my little knowledge in elfish isn’t mistaken, iellig means daughter and ada means dad.” Thorin lifted his eyebrows, still not taking his eyes away from hers.

“Don’t come here and tell me you believe he’s my father.” She asked and sounded a bit more sarcastic than she intended to and Thorin’s eyes darkened, but continued and put her hands on her hips and set her eyes in his. “I’m petite, too curvy and have round ears. Not to mention my lack of grace and beauty.”

A few of the dwarves snickered, finding that statement rather amusing, but as Thorin for a second turned his dark gaze to them, they silenced. “Even a child would see that you’re a pure-blooded human, and I must add that beauty isn’t the elves’ property, you find it other places as well. I wonder what relation you have to Elrond.”

Sigrael facepalmed, knowing it had to come to this. “I told you my mother died when I was 14 – and that I ended up with the Rangers. That is true, the only thing I didn’t tell you, was that I went to Rivendell, as Elrond was an old friend of my family, and he took care of me for 4 years. He Saw that I would do better among my own kin, and as the next Ranger showed up in Rivendell, he sent me off. During those 4 years, he fed me with knowledge, teaching me history, languages and fighting skills so that I would be prepared for the world that he knew was waiting for me. And he has been the closest thing to a father I’ve ever had. That is my relation to Elrond.”

“I can’t believe it…” Thorin sighed and turned to Gandalf. “You knew this?”

“Of course I did.” Gandalf said to her defence. “And I don’t see how her relation to elves does any harm to your quest or company; she’s not an elf, she does not identify herself with their culture – she has just spent a few years with them and holds one of them close to her heart!”

Thorin stared at Gandalf in disbelief, breathing heavily through his nostrils, trying to get through this new information. After a few moments, Balin walked up to Thorin and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Thorin, he’s right. She’s a Ranger, a human, after all.”

Thorin looked at Balin’s hand before he shook it off and turned to Sigrael again. “If you say one thing that make this quest-“

“For the sake of your mighty power!” Sigrael growled as she cut him off. “Didn’t I swear loyalty to you after that damned discussion?!”

“Don’t you cut me off like that!” Thorin hissed and stepped closer to her.

“So stop doubting me because of a friendship of mine!” she hissed back and took a step towards him as well. “I’m not questioning yours, and when I have accepted you as my leader and with that sworn loyalty, that should be enough! I have told you what’s relevant, and I’m not accepting this just because one elf once let your people down – and that one was not Elrond!”

A crushing moment of silence followed, where both of them were breathing hard and fast by suppressed anger. They stared each other in their eyes and she couldn’t believe the hatred she saw there – was it possible to hate somebody that much? She looked deeper in them, realizing how desperate he must have been that one time, and how great the disappointment and anger must have been. At the same time, she saw how beautiful his eyes were – the slightly angled almond-shaped eyes held a colour of blue she hadn’t seen before and her heart skipped a beat, and not from the anger she felt. She found it fascinating how these beautiful eyes could express so many emotions and with so much soul – the hatred was almost a part of him and it scared her as well as the other things they did to her.

Then Thorin spoke. “Fine. But don’t expect us to trust any elves because you do.”

“I never expected you to do either.” She said with a low, cold voice.

“Then we’re agreed.” Thorin spoke, just as cold. “Oin, fix her shoulder! We’re hungry and I don’t want to waste any more time!”

“Come here, lass…” Oin said low as she watched Thorin leave the room. “Don’t mind that, after all, you have sworn loyalty to us.”

Sigrael turned and looked at Oin. “So you trust me?”

“Of course I am surprised, but since we’re all still here and not jailed, it hasn’t harmed us. I trust you. Now, sit down so I can take a look at that shoulder.” He said kindly and helped her get the jacket off – she sighed in relief; at least one of them still trusted her.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, you stubborn fools and you silly girl with all your secrets... When will this madness end?? xD
> 
> Please give me feedbacks, I'd love to hear what you think! :)


	6. Reaching for Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, after making it to Rivendell, they finally have a serious conversation. Will this lead them anywhere?

Sigrael slowly opened her eyes, confused about everything. She was blinded by the light and closed her eyes again, and as she laid there, half conscious, flashbacks of the warg attack began to return with full power and made her feel sick. She tried to move, but her shoulder was too sore.

Her shoulder.

She gently reached out her right arm to touch it, wondering why she was alone – each of the dwarves were gone, but all their things were lying there, so she guessed they had left her to rest. She had been more exhausted than she believed; the shoulder and the sore rib seemed to feed on her energy.

“Careful, you need to rest and take things slowly.” Kili said low and she jumped for a second before she saw it was him; it seemed like he was keeping an eye on her.

She looked at him first, carefully nodding before she lay back on the pillow. “What is going on?” she asked and looked at him.

“You fell asleep on the couch last night after supper, so we carried you to the bed. Obviously, that long run from the wargs took a lot of your strength when you already were beaten up by one. But as I understood from Elrond, there is nothing to worry about, you just need rest.” Kili said with a warm smile to ensure her.

“I should have guessed so, there was no way it was possible to run normal and that takes more strength than I was prepared to.” She said with a half smile.

“Sure it does.” He smiled to her and she had to laugh a little.

“Well, how is Thorin? He was even grumpier than normal yesterday after ‘my little secret’ was revealed.”

“You could say ‘upset about the current location’, as he’s planning to leave tomorrow morning and not even bothering with trying to find ponies. Though, I guess elves only have horses and that is out of the question, unless we want to break our legs.” He shrugged his shoulder and looked at the wall for a moment before he turned to her again. “But don’t worry too much now; just try to relax. Things will sort out.” He smiled and took her hand and squeezed it gently. She smiled back at him, squeezing it back.

She didn’t let go of his hand – it made her calm down from the events of the last day and he seemed to accept it. She wondered if Thorin was still angry at her, but with Kili’s hand in hers, she felt like it wasn’t a big deal after all.

Just as she had finished that thought, she sensed somebody approaching, and in the next moment Thorin stood in the door; he looked from her to Kili, and as he noticed his leader’s presence, he let go of her hand and sat back in the chair like nothing had happened.

“Am I disturbing anything?” Thorin asked and leant against the door frame, his arms crossing his chest; he seemed to be more tensed than usual and Sigrael knew that ‘upset about their current location’ was an understatement of his feelings about this place. Grumpy seemed happy compared to his mood and she was sure that if a warg had tried to sneak up on him now, it would have turned and ran away if it saw his face – if he trained on that expression, he might even have scared Smaug out of Erebor.

“No, nothing, I was about to leave, I just checked on her.” Kili said quickly.

“Good, I need a few words with our ranger. Alone.” Thorin said and gave Kili a sharp look. Kili quickly got up and as he walked past Thorin, he whispered something in Khuzdul and Thorin quickly replied, just as low and hissing as well. Kili left with a last look at his uncle, a look of irritation, before Thorin closed the door.

He walked up to her bed and sat down in the same chair Kili had been sitting in, looking at her with an expression she couldn’t define as she saw both worry and something that for sure was frustration and irritation. “What is it?” she asked him, wondering what was really on his mind.

“I wanted to see if you were doing ok, I’m not even sure if you remember the supper.” Thorin said calmly and looked at her with piercing eyes, like he was reading her condition through her eyes.

“I feel a lot better.” She smiled to him; no matter how upset she was, she didn’t dare do anything else other than show him a friendly face. Somehow, his current mood reminded her of her mother when she was upset for something and she had learned to meet that with a smile. If anything, the thought of comparing them made her smile, so it was genuine.

“I’m glad to hear that.” He said and smiled shortly.

“Though, you’re a bit right – I don’t remember much, Bombur’s chair crashing, Kili spilling mead over Gloin, …” She sighed and rubbed her eyes. “And still I feel like I haven’t slept enough.”

“Will you be rested enough to leave tomorrow morning?” Thorin asked directly, no softness, just straight away and with the same strict glare as he had sent her ever since the start of this quest.

“If I could use this day for resting and nothing else, I would be fine.” Sigrael said, speaking the truth, she hoped.

“We can’t risk losing more time, we can’t be slowed down.” Thorin said low, still looking her in her eyes.

“And then I would tell you to not wait for me – I would find you, eventually. It might take me a few days extra, but I would.” She said and sat up a little, flinching for a brief second as the rib hurt.

Thorin sighed and looked down. “And how could I know you were just behind us and not injured or killed by anything?” He looked her in her eyes again. “How could I trust you would come back?”

“Trust your heart – you should listen more to it, it’s constantly trying to guide you. It’s sad, but people are getting good at ignoring it. You are too. Your heart would tell if I were alive or not.” She said surprisingly softly.

Your heart. Thorin almost laughed for a second, studying the floor – his heart had betrayed him lately, by showing more care for this human being than he was comfortable with, and he had sometimes felt disgusted for it. It’s one thing to have a no-strings-attached affair one late night, it’s another to feel the way he felt when he was around her, or maybe more correct – when she was hanging around with others. He remembered how he had boiled when she had slept close to Bofur for some warmth on a cool night, or now as he found Kili offering her a hand. Or the worst; she in only a towel while Fili was around. Thorin sighed, wondering what was really going on – he looked at her without really looking, knowing he desired her because of needs he rarely let himself think about, but he had started to fear it was more than just the need for intimate contact. It was no secret that he would not allow himself to dwell on his except when the need for contact grew too strong, but that was it. Ever since Erebor and Azanulb  
izar, his mind had been focused on other things and pushed such trivial personal needs aside, but now as they were forcing their way through his mind, he had no control and he feared it.

Sigrael noticed he was lost in thoughts, and decided to use the chance to say some final words about the other ongoing issue. “Thorin, I will ask you for one more thing.”

“Go on.” He said, paying her attention again – she could see he had been in a different universe by the distant look in his eyes.

“I don’t want to hear a negative word about Elrond in my presence. It dates back to my youth, when I had nobody, but Elrond opened his doors for me. His heart is pure. I don’t speak for all elves, but you can trust him. Trust me when I’m saying this – he won’t stop you. I’m more worried about other powers in Middle Earth stopping us before he will. ” She said this with a calm tone, seeing he was listening and thinking about it before he slowly nodded.

“I hope you’re right…” he sighed and leant back in the chair again. “Are you sure you won’t slow us down if we’re departing tomorrow?”

“If so, don’t wait for me. I can go with little sleep and I will catch up to you again when you’ve made camp. I’m good at finding tracks.” She said and carefully turned in bed so she was lying sideways, only to find that stressful as her body wanted her to lay flat. She turned over again and sighed, staring at the ceiling. “Though… I’m sorry if I was harsh yesterday, I understand your reaction. I was exhausted and not in the mood for a confrontation and… I was ruder than I usually am.” As she finished the sentence she turned to look at him, seeing he was paying attention to her.

“It’s ok, I was harder and more bitter than necessary as well, I was just… shocked. I’m an old and stubborn dwarf.” He sighed and a rare smile was there for a brief second. “It wasn’t the best moment for either of us. Right now, I’m happy to see that you’re improving.” He said and there was something warm about his gaze – he hated to admit it to himself, but it was coming now; she had done something to him when they met and despite their already many quarrels, he now found that he had somehow grown fond of her, and even though he still worried about her place and role in the group, he now found that he wouldn’t be without her either.

“Thank you. It’s nice that you and your company seem to care and are willing to wait one more day in this horrible place for me.” She smiled and rested her head against the pile of pillows.

“Yes, it is.” Thorin said and sighed. “…and Kili has been sitting here quite a lot.” he said and she immediately noticed a change in him, colder than before. She knew why he worried and decided to go straight to the matter.

“Thorin…” she said, just spitting out what was on her mind; if it turned out to be wrong, she could always blame her condition for saying something like that. “If you think there’s something between me and Kili, there isn’t. Or Fili for that matter, since you didn’t seem too happy about me running around in only a towel in his presence.”

“Sure about that?” Thorin asked, confirming her suspicions. If he thought there was something going on between them, she knew he feared it could have an impact within the group and put them at risk. She did understand his worries, just by comparing their own struggles due to their past interactions; she just hoped he would see he had nothing to worry about at the moment.

“I have no feelings for him, and if he’s warm on me, it’s his problem, not mine, and if so, I am sure he is responsible enough to not do anything stupid as long as we’re in this quest.” She said and looked Thorin in his eyes. “My heart does not belong with him.”

“So where does your heart belong then?” he asked and looked in her eyes with that intense gaze of his.

In that moment, she felt it like a warm wave rolling over her – she realized she was weak for this King-to-be on a quest to reclaim his mountain, but she would never dare to tell him. She had been pretty weak for him since the beginning, but to admit it to herself was harder than she believed. “To myself; I have not given it to anyone yet.” She mumbled and looked away, and did not see Thorin lower his gaze.

“Then we’ve sorted it out. Don’t do anything hasty; tell us if there’s anything you need.” He said low and got up. She followed him with her eyes, and a small smile curled on her lips as he turned to look back before he left the room. At least his face didn’t look as distant and cold as it had been, and she took it as a positive sign.

*

“Sigrael, wake up. Sigrael!”

She slowly opened her eyes, seeing it was still dawn – the earliest birds had barely started to sing, and she rubbed the sleep out of her confused eyes so she could focus. “What is it?” she yawned and opened her eyes, finding Bofur packing her things together.

“We’re leaving, now.” Bofur said low and with haste as he closed her bag. “Did you have anything else than what was here?”

“No, that was all, I barely took out anything.” She said low and sat up. Had all of them been packing their things around her without her noticing?

“Good. Here, get the rest of your clothes on, Thorin is restless already.” Bofur handed her the mentioned clothes and she looked at them – for three days they had been here, yet it felt like it was yesterday they arrived.

She quickly got her clothes on, and it felt strangely good. “So why in this hurry and this early? The first bird hasn’t even shat yet…!” she asked and strangled a yawn as she picked up her things to follow him.

“Thorin got a message; Sarumann would not approve of this quest, while Elrond and Galadriel doubted if it would be correct to stop us, and Gandalf is speaking for our case and we should not wait for him.” Bofur whispered as they walked down the hall. “I don’t know who sent it, but Lindir sworn that the message would be kept secret if we set off as soon as possible.”

“Galadriel…” Sigrael whispered and Bofur looked at her with a questioning face. “I’ll explain to you later.”

They hurried down to the rest of the company as silent as they could, and found them waiting for them already. Bombur handed Bofur his things and Sigrael corrected her own a last time.

“We’re 15 now.” Thorin said after counting a last time. “Good, then we leave.”

Sigrael looked back a last time, wishing she had the chance to say good bye to Elrond before she left. She hoped he would understand, and she prayed it wouldn’t be too long till next time they met.

*

“How are you doing, Sigrael?” Balin asked kindly as they finally had camped for the night, going all day without a break.

“Surprisingly good.” She said with a brave smile – she had expected to be slower, but there was no denying that it was hard to keep track with them at times; her injured rib sometimes ached and she would have to stop for a minute or two, but it could have been a lot worse. “But still room for improvement.” She mumbled and looked at the sky, trying to find something interesting to rest her eyes on to not show her irritation.

“Just be kind to yourself lass.” Balin patted her shoulder. “Stew is ready soon.”

“Good.” She smiled and made her bedroll for the night – she couldn’t wait to get some sleep, she was exhausted.

Her smile was warm and welcoming as Bofur handed her a bowl with stew and she quickly ate it all – it was silent around the camp and nobody said a word as they were all tired after a long day with no breaks.

“Nori, you take the first watch, then Gloin.” Thorin said as he was done with his stew, looking around. “Sigrael, are you strong enough to take the two last hours?” he then said, facing her.

She knew they had this system, that shouldn’t be messed with too much, to make sure everybody had their watch, but at the same time, she was very tired and would like to rest as much as possible. She swallowed nervously, not sure what to say. “Well, I could, but…”

“I can take her watch.” Bofur said and looked at Thorin. “She can take one of mine as soon as she can.”

“I was thinking that it would be easier to split those two hours and share them between Nori and Gloin.” Thorin sighed.

“But it will be the same all over again tomorrow if she’s not fit yet, isn’t it easier to switch?” Fili asked, and soon the whole company was discussing what the easiest solution was and Sigrael dropped back on her bedroll, only wishing sleep and silence.

“QUIET!” Thorin then roared and finally the silence came, but not for long as Thorin seemed to be furious about all the discussion that simple question made. “We will split the two hours like I planned, and we will see what tomorrow brings. You will respect my final decision, as I am in no mood for further noise about this.”

“Shouldn’t we have a plan for tom-“ Dwalin started, but Thorin cut him off.

“Is there a problem with understanding my decision?” Thorin growled and now the silence lasted. “Good.” By now, Sigrael had gotten up from her bedroll – she felt guilty for this situation, and what she saw, was the company trying to find a good decision, not questioning Thorin’s ability as a leader. He turned to her, seeing she was up. “What is it?”

She sighed, knowing what was needed. “Thorin, please come with me.” Sigrael said, her voice calm yet determined.

“Sigrael, I’m not interested in having any more discussion about this.” Thorin growled and glared at her.

“Now.” She said and her eyes were as dark as his and the rest of the company saw that they wouldn’t dare trifle with that look.

Thorin must have seen that as well, as he threw the empty bowl on the ground in front of him and followed her out of the camp. She led him deeper into the forest till they came to a clearing where a few rocks laid spread out here and there and she sat down on one of them. He stood by the edge of it and looked at her with doubt; there she sat, lit up by the moonlight, but in the end he followed her and as he stood in front of her she silently told him to sit down with a gesture with her hand and he sat down on a rock with a sigh, facing towards her. “Now?” he asked impatiently and looked up at her, leaning his elbows on his knees.

“I want to share some advice, my leader.” She said calmly and looked him in his eyes and leant forwards like he did, knowing she was challenging one of his demands, but she took the risk.

“And what are they?” he said with the same irritated voice.

“We are out of Rivendell and the elves can’t stop us now. Stop being angry about Elrond knowing, and as well as I know him, he won’t stick his nose into this anymore, especially when I’m here. Put it behind you and focus on the journey ahead.” She said and he rolled his eyes.

“Those pointy-ears won’t-“

“-bother you anymore, at least not those west of the mountains. I can’t guarantee about the others, but I wouldn’t worry about that yet. Second, I advise you to not take out your frustration about things, no matter what they are, on your company. They only do their best to follow you and help you.” She spoke just as calm as before. Thorin looked down to the ground, knowing she was right but not wanting to give her the pleasure of hearing him say it.

She got up and walked behind him, but as he got up to follow her, she laid a hand on his shoulder and he sat down again. “What more now?” He growled, just wishing to go back to his bedroll.

“You look tense.” She said and placed her hands on his shoulders. “Let me do something about it.”

“And what should that be?” he said with an impatient voice.

“May I suggest a simple massage?” she shrugged her shoulders. “I’m a healer; I know what I’m doing, and this tension isn’t good to you.”

Thorin looked at her for a long moment with lifted eyebrows – he knew that would help a lot, he was indeed tense and that didn’t improve his mood after all, but the thought of letting her that close again, scared him. Not because he believed she could harm him, but she did something else to him – he feared he had no resistance anymore, he still remembered what that glimpse of her naked skin caused. He was not interested in more distracting flashbacks, it was hard enough to not think of what they did when he didn’t see her, and even harder when she was around, and her hands working miracles on his shoulders would make it impossible. His Durin pride was heavily challenged by her, and he wondered where this would end up.

Finally he found the words, but he was sure his voice sounded unsteady. “There is another time for that, not now.” He then got up and headed for the camp, but stopped as he didn’t hear her follow him. “And I appreciate your advice; I shall keep it in mind. Now, will you come with me?” he wondered when he had learned to be that polite as he watched her get up from the rock, guessing that it had something to do with her.

“Then I hope you find it useful. At least I know the company will. And don’t make any more messes for my sake, I’ll find a way.” She said with a polite smile and walked ahead of him.

Her words stung a little, and he realized that she had somehow taught him manners. For a moment he smiled a little, but if faded away as he started to follow her and he saw her walk ever so elegantly yet silently through the woods – even when doing so, he felt something well inside him, something that longed for seeing more.

He realized he had admired her for longer than these moments, and he didn’t like it either, but he couldn’t blame her for it. It was his own fault, first being weak in Bree, then accepting her on the quest and now listening to her words and letting her get close like this. As they walked back in silence, he knew he did the right thing when he accepted her offer – he had worried about how her presence would affect the younger dwarves, but they had no problem with it. It was him.

They made it to the camp, where he silently talked with a few of the dwarves, and to their surprise, silently apologized by lowering his head. He knew Sigrael was right, but his pride used to make such things hard for him, but somehow her words made it easier. After doing so, he found his bedroll and drifted off to sleep.

Bofur, who was sleeping beside Sigrael, was just as surprised as any of the other dwarves and frowned at her. “Sure he wasn’t replaced?” he whispered to her.

She turned to him, tired yet kind eyes. “How?”

“Less than an hour ago he was a grumpy shithole and now he’s all relaxed and calm again, even silently apologizing to those involved in that blow-up.” Bofur looked at Thorin’s sleeping figure before looking back at her again. “What did you do?”

“Nah, just sorted out a few things with four eyes instead of two.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Sometimes the best way is the calmest way.”

Bofur looked at her with a slightly surprised face. “It’s scary how you seem to be able to reach inside him…”

“I know…” she smiled and laid down on the bedroll, wishing sleep welcome.  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the chapters aren't too long - hopefully you enjoy this! Feel free to leave a comment!


	7. Goblins and Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And finally our company makes it to the Misty Mountains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for being so slow - but I've been on holidays, so, it's a natural explanation :P so I give you a loooong chapter instead :'D

Thorin was on his night watch, smoking his pipe to comfort himself in the cold – the day before they had been surprised by cold rain and sometimes snow. The rest of the company was lying in a tight circle to protect them from the cold as they had given up hope for a fire long ago. The wind was constantly blowing and Thorin was glad that his wolf fur-cloak saved him from the worst. He pulled the hood over his head as much as he could without losing view, sitting with his back turned against the wind to not get too cold.

He heard some whispering, and he immediately recognized Westwind’s voice among them – he looked over to see where it came from, and couldn’t help but feel a kick in his belly when he saw her in Bofur’s embrace. The sight was killing him from the inside and he felt frustrated by it, as he tried to keep her at a safe distance; last night was hard enough. Now they were lying there sharing a thick blanket, lying close together and whispering – from what he could hear, they were speaking of what they would like to do when they were done with this quest, and his heart ached as the words ‘a warm bath’ were mentioned – he hoped they didn’t mean to share that bath; that would be the last drop to fill the glass and he would lose his mind, he was sure of that. And if that was to happen, he knew that they would most likely risk losing their lives as well. Neither was tempting.

He looked over at them again, seeing them looking at each other and strangling some laughter – he had to turn away as he recognized the feeling of jealousy and his frustration reached a new level, the level he usually called anger. He would have refused to lie there like that with her, but seeing her with one of the others like this was just as bad. He let out a long sigh and closed his eyes, wondering when he had started to feel this possessiveness towards Westwind and as he did so, a vivid memory started to form in his mind. He could remember how she had softly moaned as he pushed her against the wall and how her eyes had rolled back in ecstasy as he thrust in and out of her. He could almost taste her again as he remembered how her lips had felt against his and the way that their tongues had danced together. 

He opened his eyes again and looked to the ground, wondering why these flashbacks returned from time to time – it had been a one night love affair that meant nothing to them and was supposed to be just a pleasant memory; not coming back to haunt him like this. He ignored the two of them, and after a while it was silent – he couldn’t describe how happy he was for it, until he turned to look, finding Westwind with her face against Bofur’s neck. For a moment he wished it was him lying there instead of Bofur, but just the thought of being that near Westwind again scared him and he would rather cut off his beard than have yet another affair with her; he was a Durin, he wasn’t supposed to find a lover among humans!

He turned away again, thinking this would be a long night and hoped for a better tomorrow – but when the anger settled on him again, he scared even himself.

*

Thorin was wrong – the next day was even worse as a thunderstorm came upon them. It slowed them down, it was hard to follow the narrow path, and one wrong step, and a certain death was waiting for them several metres below. He swore that in some places it was possible they could fall more than a hundred metres.

Sigrael wasn’t especially happy either – if she walked this path alone, she would have felt quite confident, but now she was in the middle of a group and each of them had to be extra careful. She looked at Bilbo, who walked in front of her, knowing this was far outside his comfort zone and she felt incredibly sorry for him, hoping that the storm would calm down soon, or that they were able to get through this pass as soon as possible. She didn’t feel safe around here, knowing goblins could be hiding anywhere.

In the next moment, her blood froze in her veins – that was not thunder. As she looked up, through the pouring rain, she saw what she had seen only once before, and even then it had been from a safe distance. Stone giants were battling against each other by throwing huge blocks of rock through the air, and now Sigrael and her companions not only had to endure the heavy rains, but now they had to get through the valley as giant boulders crashed around them. Soon she heard shouts and commands from several of the dwarves but she couldn’t hear what they were saying because of the thunder and the smashing rocks, but in the next moment that was not what she was thinking of.

A shockwave hit all of them as the mountain beneath their feet started to move, and Sigrael immediately leant back against the mountain, trying to figure out how to get out from this alive – she had not expected this. She heard the panicked shouts from the rest, trying to help each other. She turned to see how the others did, and to her relief, she saw them jumping over to a safer spot further up the path.

But Sigrael knew those with her had a small chance as the giant started to move away from the mountain – her only hope was to hang on to the rock behind her the best she could. She had no idea what the others were doing, but at least they had done well, so far. Then, to her horror, the rock giants were suddenly rushing towards the mountainside again, faster than she could react – she closed her eyes as she knew the impact would be powerful. She could hear the panicked shouts from the dwarves standing there with her. She grabbed Bilbo’s shoulder, hoping he would make it – he had to.

“Bilbo, don’t let go of me!” Sigrael shouted and in the next moment she felt him grabbing her cape the best he could. “This will hurt!”

She was tossed brutally against the shelf on the mountainside and an intense pain tightened around her chest as her already broken rib protested against whatever was going on. She rolled over on her back, gasping for air only to find it hurt more and so she tried to calm down but each breath felt like knives stabbing into her, and she cursed loudly, wondering how much more her lungs could take of this shit before they eventually gave up. She looked around and to her great surprise, it seemed like they had gotten away from the situation with just scratches. She could taste iron and as she touched her nose, she found that it was bleeding. “Could have been worse…” she mumbled as she sat up, and then was pulled up on her legs by Kili.

“Are you all right?” he asked her and he looked around at the same time, seeing the dwarves were helping each other.

“I think so.” She sighed and looked around, then realized nobody was holding her cape. “Bilbo!” she hissed and looked around, at the same time as the rest of them realized he wasn’t there. “Bilbo!!”

Before she had located him, she saw Bofur and Ori trying to get someone up from the edge. To her horror, she saw Bilbo slipping and for a moment her head and heart stood still. She just kept staring as Thorin jumped down to help him, but just as quickly she realized she had a rope and ran towards them. Bilbo got up safely, but now it was Thorin slipping and the only thing saving him from certain death, was that Dwalin had his hand. Sigrael quickly loosened the rope from her sack and threw it down to Thorin; he grabbed it and as she saw he had a good grip, she and Dwalin pulled him up – when he could rest an elbow on the edge she grabbed his coat and made sure he could get a knee over the edge.

“You okay?” she asked, breathing heavily and holding a hand over her aching rib. Damn, she ought to be more careful.

“I thought we had lost our burglar!” Dwalin said before Thorin said anything, and she looked over to where Bilbo sat. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so happy to see anyone.

“He’s been lost, ever since he left home.” Thorin growled as he got up on his feet, glaring in Bilbo’s direction – Sigrael now stared at Thorin in disbelief. “He should never have come; he has no place amongst us.”

Her mouth fell open and anger welled up inside her – how could Bilbo be the one to blame for this? It was just a coincidence it was him and not one of the others! Bofur looked at her, silently shaking his head – she knew he was right, she better stay silent, for now, and she closed her mouth, tightening every muscle in her cheeks and jaw to not make a sound. She followed Dwalin to check a cave instead of saying what she was thinking to Thorin, which would only have caused her trouble. Soon she was making her bedroll on top of a rock inside that cave. Despite her aching ribs, she went to sleep hoping that tomorrow they would be safely down from the mountain.

*

Sigrael stared down in the hole beneath her in disbelief– did the company really just disappear?! Her heart was beating fast as she realized they had been trapped, and her mind was working just as fast to come up with something resembling a plan. She realized what had saved her was the fact that she had slept on the rock and not on the floor, and soon it was all silent again, a sickening silence. It seemed like the goblins hadn’t noticed her, too busy catching the trapped dwarves, and after some time, she dared to aim for the cave entrance.

The thunderstorm was over, but it was still raining heavily. She knew going after the dwarves the same way they had gone was a bad idea. She had to get inside the mountain from a different cave, but which one?! She knew about a few of them, but they were far away from here, and she feared that by the time she would make it to the company, they would be dead. She crouched down in a fetal position and growled loudly to get rid of the frustration within her, to no use. At least she got to release some of the frustration, but it didn’t help the company.

Gandalf!

She looked up as it dawned on her that he was right behind them! She got up and was about to run down the path until she remembered that a huge piece of it was missing and desperation grew in her again. She looked up, seeing a few shelves above her that led to a part of the mountain that would be easier to climb, if she only could make it to them. She still had her bags, and the rope. “Let it be…” she mumbled to herself and grabbed the rope.

*

Gandalf stopped as he was sure he had heard someone – he hadn’t expected anyone here, unless the company had been much delayed on their way over the mountain. He looked around to see where the sound came from, but the howling wind and the constant rain made it difficult.

“Gandalf!”

He heard it again and this time he recognized the voice. “Westwind, where are you?!” he shouted back, trying to see her – he grew nervous; her climbing around and being obviously in need, was a bad sign.

“Look up!”

He did as he was told, and he found her on a mountain shelf 10 metres above him. “What has happened? What are you doing there?!”

“Stonegiants and goblins! Grab the rope, we have no time!” she shouted back and tossed a rope down to him. It was a steep side, but with her help he would make it. It was slippery, but slowly he made it up to her.

“Now, what has happened?” he asked her as he followed her along the path – they were almost running and he couldn’t deny he was nervous, considering how slippery the stones were after this rain.

“We found shelter in a cave after barely getting away from the stone giants, but it turned out to be a goblin trap – the floor opened and they all fell in! I got away because I was sleeping on a rock…!” she hissed under her breath. “It’s about one kilometre up this track, the one we used is ruined.”

“Ruined?”

“Yeah, it turned out to be the knees of one of the giants. It was a miracle we all got away with only bruises. And Bilbo almost fell off the cliff, but he was saved by Thorin, who then got saved by Dwalin and me…” She turned to Gandalf. “I have no idea if they’re even alive now. I didn’t risk following them. I wanted to find you and see if we could come up with a plan.” She sighed and looked at him and her eyes looked worriedly at him. “Did I do something stupid?”

“No, you did the only wise thing. And I think I have a plan.” Gandalf laid a hand on her shoulder, a wise twinkle in his eyes. “Follow me.”

*

Sigrael swallowed nervously at the sight of the Great Goblin– he was indeed one of the most disgusting creatures she had ever seen and she doubted she would ever see something as horrible as him again. She turned to Gandalf with her heart beating fast as the goblins had found their instruments of torture. “Shouldn’t we do something soon?” she whispered, not trusting that they still were unseen.

“The right moment, Sigrael, the right moment…” Gandalf whispered and she rolled her eyes – she had told him so many times to call her Westwind!

The right moment turned out to be the next second – Orcrist was recognized and caused panic and anger among the goblins and they began attacking and beating the dwarves. Gandalf leaped up as the order of killing Thorin was given, and in the next moment, a blinding shockwave hit them all, and even Sigrael, standing behind Gandalf, had to close her eyes from the massive light.

They walked up to the dwarves, holding their breaths in absolute silence. Slowly, one by one, the dwarves looked up and looked at them with shocked faces. Sigrael had already pulled her sword out from the sheath, ready for whatever may come – at this point it felt like nothing could shock her. “Pick up your weapons!” Gandalf told them, and without a word all of them did as they were told, and not a question was asked about how they made it there.

They realized the goblins were waking up as well and in the next moment they made a fantastic escape, started by the Great Goblin falling down into the abyss. Sigrael made sure all of the dwarves were safely out of the goblins’ hands before she ran off with them, running in the back like a dog herding a pack of sheep. The good thing about that was that most of the goblins were already cleared away by the company, and she didn’t have to worry as much about trying to fight with the nagging pain from her rib.

The escape showed her what these dwarves were made of; they seemed fearless as they knocked and pushed their way towards freedom, and not a single goblin escaped alive. But the escape came to a sudden and brutal end as the Great Goblin suddenly showed up again out of nowhere. Sigrael ran into Nori as he suddenly stopped before she had realized what was going on, causing her to fall painfully on her broken rib again. She struggled for breath as the pain from her rib seemed to squeeze all air from her lungs. As Nori helped her up, he saw her struggling for breath and knew something was wrong. "Westwind, what-“ but she cut him off. 

“That can be discussed later…” she whispered, glaring at the great Goblin – right now they were facing their enemy again.

The Great Goblin made an attempt at taking Gandalf, but it was clear that it was a long time since the enormous beast had done anything himself; he was clumsy, missed, and gave Gandalf a golden chance, which he used. He cut the Goblin’s belly so that he fell on his knees and before anyone could do something, he cut his throat and the beast finally collapsed.

The bridge they stood on started to shake, and even before they had the chance to turn, it collapsed and they slid down on the wildest ride they would ever experience. Sigrael held on to it the best she could – she was terrified by the sudden fall and she wanted to scream, but all she could do was to make a grimace and squeeze her eyes tightly. All around her she heard startled screams and shouts, and if she had dared to open her eyes, she would have seen the most frightened dwarves she had ever seen, some of them too scared to even make a sound.

Suddenly everything and the screams silenced – the only thing they heard was their heavy breathing as they realized it was solid ground beneath them. Sigrael tried to move but her body was pinned underneath something large and heavy. He let out a frustrated groan when she managed to turn her head slightly and realized the large, heavy thing happened to be Thorin! Great, as she wasn’t angry enough these days! “Thorin, could you please get off me?” she managed to say, something between a hiss and a growl. “You’re heavy!”

“I’m working on it!” Thorin growled and started to get off her, but was slightly stuck between the planks. It wasn’t only him thinking he was angry enough these days.

”It could be worse!” Bofur groaned and looked around.

In the next moment, the corpse of the Great Goblin crashed down on them. “You’ve got to be joking!” Dwalin shouted as he was squished even more.

“THORIN!” Sigrael squeaked, sure that all her intestines were crushed into something similar to porridge.

“Sorry, it isn’t my fault that he landed on us!” Thorin growled while he worked his way out.

“You’re still heavy! I can’t breathe!” she growled and tried to get out herself.

“Stop nagging at me then!” Thorin shouted back as Bofur jumped down to help him.

“She’s right, you’re heavy!” Bofur moaned as he helped pull Thorin out of the wreck.

“Remember that I’m a bit heavier clothed than you…” Thorin growled as he got one leg free.

“And heavier built… And taller.” Bofur teased back as he helped him get the other leg free.

“Air!” Sigrael moaned as Thorin finally got free and started to help her get out from the wreckage.

“Yeah, get out now.” Thorin growled and laid one of her arms over his shoulder and started to pull her out.

“Guys…” Kili looked up and the others followed his example, staring wide-eyed at the horde of goblins running down the valleys like ants towards them. “We need to hurry up!”

“Really…” Sigrael groaned in resignation as she saw the number of goblins. She didn’t continue fighting to get out before she felt a firm pull from Thorin, who had wrapped an arm around her waist to prevent her from injuring herself. A warm blush spread across her face, but she had other things to focus on – the sound of the goblins approaching moved her in to high gear and with a last pull from Thorin, she stumbled to freedom. Within seconds they were running after Gandalf, and soon they were seeing daylight. Blessed daylight! They ran as fast as they could, aiming for the freedom they knew daylight would provide them.

During the escape Sigrael stopped for two seconds only – she was sure she felt the presence of someone just to the left of them, inside one of the other tunnels. After staring at pitch black, she took up the running again, but she couldn’t get rid of the feeling that something was wrong as she ran into daylight.

They stopped after running a few hundred metres out from the caves and into the forest, catching their breaths. Gandalf quickly counted all of them, but stopped at 15 every time – all the dwarves were there, so was Sigrael – Bilbo! “Where’s Bilbo?” he called out, all of them reacting by looking around them like he had hid behind someone. Sigrael couldn’t find a word – how could she have not noticed that Bilbo was missing?!

“Wasn’t he with you Dori?” someone asked, but Dori protested.

“I think we must have lost him as we fell down that trap.” Nori said and looked worriedly at Gandalf.

“Our burglar has left us.” Thorin said with a growling voice, looking at them with disappointment. “He has returned to the Shire; he has done nothing else but missing his bed and garden since we left. We won’t be seeing him again. He’s long gone.”

The others stared at Thorin, somebody shrugged their shoulders while others just shook their heads, but all of them did so with worry in their faces.

“He fell through the trap with you! He’s in the mountain!” Sigrael said to Thorin, sick with worry for their little hobbit. “I know he had to be, there was nobody else left up there but me! He wouldn’t just set off alone with me right there!”

“Another thing to add to the list of bad situations he’s got himself into! Trolls, cliffs and now goblins!” Thorin hissed back at her.

“And he can’t exactly be blamed for them either, now can he?” She spat back – she had just had enough of his attitude against Bilbo. “Not to blame anyone, but I can remember it was your own kin sending him to the trolls, then he was the one who had the idea of distracting them, while you were too busy cursing!”

Thorin took one furious step towards her but Dwalin laid a hand on his shoulder and instead Sigrael stepped towards Thorin, showing him that she was not done and would not hear any more of his accusations against the hobbit. “And as far as I know, thunder is what wakes up stone giants, not hobbits. It was just bad luck that it was him hanging off the cliff, and if it wasn’t for his quick reflex, he would have been a pile of smothered stew at the bottom of the valley!” she looked at Thorin with furious eyes. “Furthermore, the reason he wanted to set off back home while we were in the cave, was because of your negative attitude towards him – you have doubted him since the very beginning and I completely understand why he want to go home. I would have done the same if I were in his shoes. Is the only reason you have accepted me because I happen to know how to handle a sword? Or because I’m a healer? I have more suggestions for your possible reasons, but I’m afraid they would insult you and are not fitting for an  
yone to hear!”

Thorin glared back at her and attempted to walk up to her again but this time she took the first step and pushed her palm to his chest. Dwalin first laid a hand on her shoulder to push her away, but the look she shot at him caused him to take a step back, seeing that no matter what he did, he could not stop them, and he had no intensions of being the iron beneath the hammer and the anvil.

“Sigrael, please calm down now.” Gandalf said with a calm voice and walked up to them.

“Not until he’s safely back here!” Sigrael hissed to Gandalf before she turned to Thorin again. “I have accepted you as my leader and I will remain loyal, but right now you are pissing me off because you can’t see the value our burglar possesses. Instead, you keep cursing him, blaming him for things he shouldn’t even be blamed for because they weren’t his fault! Your stubbornness is beyond what I thought was possible!” she spat to the ground and looked at him with a frown so dark and angry that he could see she was tempted to hit him.

A silence so thick you could cut it with a knife filled the air before Thorin spoke, his voice filled with anger and sarcasm. “Then maybe you should go back in there and find him, shouldn’t you?”

“I will.” She glared back at him. “We are a company and all of us have sworn to follow you. What makes him any less worthy than anyone else here?”

“He’s not worth any less.” Thorin said and looked at her. “I’m just thinking of what’s best for my company. He doesn’t belong here; he belongs in the Shire. That’s best for anyone.”

“He belongs here just as much as I do! Why don’t you chase me away as well?” she said with a sarcastic smile before she continued with a more serious tone. “Trust me when I say this: before this journey is over, you will regret it if you send Bilbo home.” She dared to give him a hint of what she had Seen – Bilbo needed to come with them, he couldn’t be dead, he had to be around – if not, the quest was doomed.

“It might be that you have forgotten what I said about the two of you – I will not be responsible for your fate and I will not guarantee your safety.” Thorin growled and turned away.

“Thorin Oakenshield!” Gandalf cut in – it seemed like even he had just had enough of this. “I have warned you about this before! We will need Bilbo!” Gandalf then turned to Sigrael, looking just as angry. “And I would advise you to calm your temper now, if you want to save Bilbo.”

“Give up, Gandalf, he’s more stubborn than the rest of the company in all. A shame he can’t take a good advice. I go back alone.” Sigrael mumbled and turned to walk back.

“So why don’t you just lecture me again?!” Thorin roared as he turned around and glared at her – his expression was grim and hard, but instead of scaring her like his anger usually did to others, it made her even more furious.

“How dare you try to scare me into silence?!” she hissed as she turned back. “And I believed you were 195 years old! Right now you’re acting like a 10 year old!”

“Look who’s talking! Spitting and hissing like a cat!” Thorin moved so close to her that neither of them could take a step without walking into the other. “What if you tried to co-operate instead of pointing out what we’re doing wrong? Do you believe you’re better, that behind that pretty face there is a genius who is much smarter and a better leader than me?”

“Obviously I am, when I seem to be the only one who actually wants to save Bilbo!” She spat and crossed her arms across her chest.

“Can’t you two just calm down and actually do something?” Balin mumbled – Sigrael turned, finding that most of them looked either worried or disappointed, and it felt like a kick in her belly.

“I’m afraid you’re wasting your time, Balin – a pony won’t drink if you tell it to.” Gloin sighed. She hadn’t only made a fool of herself by taking out on Thorin like this, but him as well, and none of them seemed to be very pleased about it. Fili and Kili looked ashamed, Bofur worried and the look on Dwalin’s face was so disappointed that most of all, she suddenly felt the urge to immediately apologize to them.

That was soon forgotten.

“Feel free, go and save your beloved hobbit.” Thorin rolled his eyes and was about to turn to walk away when a burning pain suddenly struck his face – tears threatened to well out from his eyes and for a second he was sure he was deaf. He slowly opened his eyes as he fought the temptation of wanting to smack her around. “Do you really want to become a part of the dirt?” He asked low as he looked at her.

“Go ahead. Then you’ll be rid of both Bilbo and me.” She said with a low and deep tone – he remembered that sultry voice from Bree, and it provoked him even more.

“What is even going on here?!” Thorin roared and rolled his eyes, opening his arms as to highlight how stupid he suddenly found the whole situation; he had noticed their shocked faces as Sigrael hit him and it dawned on him what they were thinking – that their leader perhaps couldn’t handle a serious situation.

“I have no idea, just that Bilbo is somehow lost in the mountain and we should find him, in case you’ve lost the thread. I go back now, feel free to follow.” She shot him the biggest fake smile she possibly could and turned to walk away. She now understood what Gandalf meant with having enough of dwarves for a day – she suspected she’d had enough of them for over a month already, or should she say – Thorin.

“You don’t have to!” A familiar voice suddenly called and Sigrael turned and sighed with relief as Bilbo suddenly stood there. “I’m fine.”

“How did you get away from the goblins?” Bofur asked with great surprise on his face.

“I would like to know too.” Thorin said as he turned to see the hobbit, doubt upon his surprised face.

“Well…” Bilbo started, not sure how to explain.

“How did you find the way out?” Sigrael asked, a big smile on her face.

“How did you get pass the goblins?” Thorin asked and looked at her.

“That is not of importance now. I’m more curious about why he returned after your harsh words against him.” Sigrael said calmly and looked at Thorin with fury before she looked at Bilbo with a friendly smile, knowing he must have heard most of their discussion.

“It is true, Thorin – ever since we left the Shire, I have missed my warm bed, the garden, I miss my home.” The hobbit looked at him with an honest face, but to Sigrael’s joy there was something brave in his eyes. “But then it dawned on me, that you don’t have a home – it was taken from you. And I want to help you take it back.”

Thorin looked at the hobbit and something on his face softened and he was about to say something when they heard a howl not far away from them, quickly followed by more howls from all around them – they were surrounded by wargs. “From the frying pan…” Thorin whispered and looked at Gandalf.

“And into the fire! Come on!” Gandalf shouted and the company immediately started to run.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I've decided that Sigrael/Westwind from now on will be only Sigrael - I managed to even confuse myself -.-' if I have time, I'll go back and fix that in every chapter ^^


	8. Burying the Axes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin is close to getting killed as the eagles saves them - what will happen next?

The wargs came rushing through the forest towards them and they had to fight their way to a safety that really wasn’t there. Sigrael killed one warg with a precise stab with her blade and blinded another one before she found that they had stopped the first wave, but that wasn’t the reason she stopped along with the dwarves – they had reached a dead end. They were standing between the wargs and fall too tall to even describe – way too far.

“Up into the trees, climb!” Gandalf shouted and she quickly found a tree and jumped up to the closest branch – when she looked around, she saw all of the dwarves finding trees and branches to get to safety, but where was Bilbo? Nowhere among the dwarves and she started to scout along the ground and there he was, running away from a warg he had killed – she quickly reached down to him and gave him a hand and pulled him up. “That was close!” she hissed to him and helped him climb further up.

“Too close…” he gasped, looking down at the wargs with frightened eyes.

“Come on, we must get up higher.” She said, short of breath and pushed him further up.

For a moment there was chaos, but suddenly it was silent – too silent. Sigrael turned to see what was going on, and she spotted Thorin – he actually looked scared, shocked, and she looked for the reason and soon found it, riding a white warg. It was Azog, the pale orc, and he was speaking in that horrible language of his kin and when hearing it, horrible flashbacks haunted her as well.

Then the wargs started to jump up the tree trunks, biting off branches and trying to reach them. Sigrael felt like she was out of balance, but quickly found that it wasn’t her, but the tree starting to fall over towards the next. The weight of the wargs was just too much for the spruce they were sitting in when the roots only had bare rocks to hold on to. “Bilbo, jump!”

Bilbo stared at her with frightened eyes and then saw what she meant – he surprised himself by making the jump and land in the next tree without a problem. Sigrael jumped the moment after him and aimed for a branch beside him and got a strong grip with both her hands and hoisted herself to safety.

But it was a dead game, soon all of them were caught in the same tree, and below them a free fall that would give them enough time to scream and refill their lungs with air at least five times. She forced herself to look up again, her heart beating so hard and loudly she was sure it was going to burst out her chest any moment. The adrenaline was hitting with full force by now and she hardly noticed the dull pains from aching rib anymore.

Suddenly a small, burning object was flying from somewhere above her and started a fire between them and the wargs, and as she looked up, she found Gandalf putting cones on fire and sending them around so they could use them as firebombs. As she was given one, she quickly threw it away, pleased with hitting a bush that immediately caught fire. For a moment she was lit with hope.

But it was then she found herself standing in a situation that had just developed from bad to worse – the tree they were sitting in started to fall over, and soon it was lying flat out from the cliff and many of them was dangling from the branches. Sigrael had managed to hoist herself up so she was lying across the trunk of the tree, but she struggled to get her legs up. She forced herself to not look down, it was horrible to just have her legs dangling without anything to rest them on. She looked over to Bilbo and he had somehow got a safe grip and she let a long breath out – at least their burglar did well, so far. But she stopped breathing for a second as Ori fell and was rescued by getting a grip around his brother Dori’s ancle. It didn’t take long before they both were saved by Gandalf reaching out his staff as Dori lost his grip on the branch – Sigrael now wondered if any of the company would get out from this alive.

Then her heart froze; Thorin had suddenly started to walk off from the tree, towards Azog – what the hell was he doing?! She tried to wriggle herself up to stop him, but she just couldn’t hoist her leg over the trunk. “Thorin, no! What do you think you’re doing?!” she hissed after him, but he kept on walking. Soon he was running, raising his sword and shield, and her heart ached with fear as she saw the warg crouch down, prepare to leap out for him. And it did. It knocked him down with a power that left him lying flat on the ground.

Sigrael had never believed she would be this scared as she saw him get up again, only to watch him being knocked down with a force that would crush the face of a man. She started to fight to get up, finally getting her leg over a branch that allowed her to start hoisting the rest of her body up – her pulse was fast and intense, she could hear her blood rush. The warg picked up Thorin in his jaws, chewing, biting and tossing him until he was thrown away on a rock, and there he laid, not moving, and the feeling that now filled her, she hadn’t felt for 51 years. The sound of his pained roars was horrible in her ears, worse than anything she had imagined. The other dwarves were just as terrified as her and protested loudly, trying to get up to save him.

Suddenly Bilbo got up on his legs, looked at Sting before he let a long sigh out. “Bilbo, you’ll get yourself killed!” Sigrael shouted to him, looking at him with desperate eyes as she struggled to find balance on the trunk.

“If one us is ought to survive, it must be him.” Bilbo muttered and ran. She watched with horrified eyes he threw himself at the orc that was given the order to finish Thorin.

That was the last drop – it gave her a strength she didn’t know she possessed and she got up to run after Bilbo. He had already attacked the orc that was seconds from beheading Thorin, and was now fiercely stabbing him repeatedly. As Sigrael reached up to them, she stood up in front of Thorin, holding up her sword, gritting her teeth to the pale orc. She looked down at Thorin for a second, seeing he had registered their presence before he passed out. ‘No, he couldn’t!’ she thought, the despair she felt replacing any other feeling, except from the two strongest; anger and fear.

Bilbo stood fearless as he faced Azog, swinging the blade a little as to show he wasn’t scared. Azog spoke again with a mocking smile and wargs started to walk slowly towards them, and she swallowed heavily – so, this was it.

In the next moment, the dwarves arrived, roaring and angrier than she had seen them – seeing her and Bilbo running up to Thorin like they did must have given them the strength to get them up on their legs again. It was all chaos again, but she stood her ground and attacked each orc and warg that tried to get close to Thorin.

For a moment they were surrounded, but she didn’t back off – she had heard the sound of the eagles, and that brightened her with hope again; after all they were friends of Gandalf. They ducked and dived to send wargs and orcs to their certain death, while some of them picked up the dwarfs. Sigrael ducked down and stepped backwards as one of them carefully picked up Thorin – she watched with worry as it flew away with him, but not for long; seconds after she was picked up as well, for then being dropped down on the back of a different eagle.

She watched as the rest of them were picked up before the eagles were flying them to safety – it felt like eternities, but the rising sun told Sigrael that it didn’t take the eagles long to safely land on the Carrock. As soon the eagle let Sigrael jump down, she ran over to Thorin. “Gandalf, he’s not breathing…” she whispered and looked for his pulse.

Gandalf laid a hand over his face and whispered something, and in the next moment Thorin took a deep breath, looking at Gandalf. “the halffling…?” Sigrael blessed whatever power Gandalf possessed and stepped back.

“It’s all right, Bilbo is here, he’s quite safe.” Gandalf said calming and Thorin started to get up on his legs. Kili and Dwalin helped him up, but he shook them off him, turning to Bilbo.

“You!” he hissed, walking towards him, but limping a little as he did so. “What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed!”

Sigrael stared at Thorin, now in disbelief – again?! She rolled her eyes and took a step towards Bilbo, ready to protect him again, looking at Thorin in nothing else than utter shock, but Balin laid a hand on her shoulder and she froze – she suddenly remembered what a fight she had been in just a mere hour ago. Bilbo closed his eyes and looked like he was slowly counting to ten.

“Didn’t I say you would be a burden? Not survive in the wild? And you have no place amongst us?” Thorin growled, for then looking at Bilbo for a long moment. “I’ve never been so wrong in my life.” Thorin then said with a trembling voice and embraced Bilbo.

Again, Sigrael stared at Thorin with shock, before she followed the dwarves’ example and smiled and laughed. For a moment she made eye contact with Bilbo before she joined the dwarves – Fili and Kili welcomed her and they laid each other’s arms across their shoulders, relieved that things finally seemed to sort out, and that they were safe, for now. It was a wonderful moment. She watched the low conversation that followed, glad that at least Bilbo and Thorin now seemed to have found an agreement with each other.

“Sigrael!” Thorin shouted across the cheers and made his way through the company towards her – her belly felt like a tight knot and she steadied herself; she guessed he was not done with her yet.

“Yes?” she said calmly, keeping her mask.

“I want to put an end to the disagreements. I was wrong, and I should have listened.” Thorin said and looked her in her eyes.

For a moment she couldn’t find any words – she was shocked and the way he looked at her, caught her by surprise – he was asking for her forgiveness. Eventually, she found the words. “You are forgiven, Thorin. I hope you can forgive me too; I was disrespectful towards you and I shouldn’t allow myself to sink that deep.”

“You are forgiven. I guess we both made fools of ourselves.” He said and smiled and laid a hand on her shoulder.

She placed hers on his. “We did.” She laughed, relieved that things seemed to sort out now. “Oh come here!” she grinned and pulled him close to a hug; his response was a laugh and embracing her with one of his arms as well.

Then she noticed yet another change in the dwarves, and she soon saw why – far away in the distance, she could see Erebor. The beautiful, lonely peak was easily visible in the sunrise, the sun colouring it in pale, pink light, an ironic contrast to the vicious creature that was occupying it. They stood there for a few minutes, admiring it and letting it lit a hope within them – they were halfway now.

*

“Wow, look how clear the water here is…” Fili said with a sigh as they reached a crossing point.

“Just below that crossing… I think its deep enough to take a bath.” Bofur said and looked at the water with longing eyes.

“I think that would be wise.” Bilbo said and crossed his arms, looking thoughtfully at the water. “All of us are stinking. Sweat, dirt, blood… Goblins…” the poor hobbit wasn’t used to this kind of life, but he wasn’t the only one longing for a bath.

“What are you talking about? I’ve just got used to the smell!” Sigrael smirked to Bilbo, who rolled his eyes.

“You’re a ranger, Sigrael…!” Dwalin laughed. “Aren’t you a bit used to such things?”

“Are you insinuating that I’m smelly, Mr. Dwalin?” Sigrael asked with a faked insulted voice and put her hands to her hips.

“Can’t we just take a bath?!” someone behind them shouted.

“You are absolutely right.” Kili smiled, and before anyone had made a decision, he was already ripping his clothes off and running for the river.

“Why not?” Bofur smiled, and soon all of them were heading for the water.

Sigrael sneaked behind a bush and got her clothes off before she found a spot where she could slip straight to the water and with an elegant move and leave the clothes on a rock. She sighed with relief as she stretched out to swim and found a calm spot where she rested on the soft bottom, water reaching her chin and she closed her eyes, a huge smile on her face.

“If I didn’t know better, I would believe you were asleep.” Bofur joked as she sat down on a rock beside her, water up to his chest.

Sigrael looked up at him and laughed a little. “The sun is shining, it’s a beautiful morning and I’m having a bath – I couldn’t ask for more.”

“The small joys in life, especially after the night we’ve been through.” He smiled and caught a soap that was being tossed around. “Ah, I love it when you get to clean yourself properly.”

“Indeed.” She smiled gratefully as he handed her the soap. “I don’t think any of us has been this clean since we left the Shire.” She joked and felt like a new person as she got to wash away the dirt. Well, she had gotten a really nice bath in Rivendell which fit perfectly with her monthly issues, but since then she hadn’t got a chance like this.

She was brutally pulled back to reality as a loud roar suddenly sounded from somewhere above her, followed by a splash and a wave of water hitting her. She peeked one eye open, glaring at Fili as he poked his head above the surface with a huge grin.

“You call that a bomb?!” Kili shouted and jumped from the tree as well, but this time she was prepared.

“Oh gosh, the boys are having fun…” Bofur wiped the water off from his face. “Time to show them the real bomb!”

“Oh my…” Sigrael giggled and rolled her eyes and decided to find a calmer spot. She did, she could watch the fun but not get involved and still keep her dignity as most of her was hid under water.

She turned her head as she heard some splashing a few yards away from her and immediately regretted – it was Thorin, and even though she had secretly wished him to join the bath, she was not prepared. Her face blushed and she turned to the opposite direction, but the sight of his naked body as he stepped into the water was already burned on her mind.

She dared to turn her face again as she heard Oin and Balin speaking with Thorin. “-should really look at those wounds, they don’t look good.”

“I’m feeling fine, I’m just bruised.” Thorin grumbled back. Sigrael saw what Balin meant; there were fang marks on his chest and at least two of them could cause trouble.

“At least you could apply these ointments.” Oin sighed and handed Thorin a small box.

…

“Ey, where did Sigrael go?” Bofur asked after a while as he noticed she was gone.

“Did you drown her?” Dori asked the two youngest brothers.

“No way!” Fili said to his defence.

“I’m pretty sure I would have noticed if I landed on her, don’t worry.” Kili said and shrugged his shoulders. “She’s like a badger, you can’t do her any harm without noticing.”

“I bet she evacuated then.” Nori chuckled.

“I don’t blame her, this is like bathing with children.” Bombur sighed and looked at Fili and Kili.

“Well, somebody does very well in helping them.” Gloin mumbled and rolled his eyes at Dwalin.

“Come on, it was funny with the fish in your beard.” Dwalin smiled innocently at Gloin.

“Fishes, my dear brother.” Balin sighed.

“I swear, I can still feel something moving in it.” Gloin muttered.

“I think I can see it as well.” Thorin said, looking at Gloin’s beard.

“Maybe someone should see if she’s around? Remember, it’s wolves around here.” Ori said and looked around at the company.

“Not me.” Kili said quickly and soon got some accusing glares from the others. “Sorry, I just remember that she certainly knee’d someone in the mountain, and I think none of us has ever seen a goblin with tears of pain. And according to the bunch of clothes there, she’s still around and naked, and I don’t feel like taking that risk.”

“What bunch?” Bofur asked and looked at the rock where she had left her clothes. No clothes to be seen anymore.

“They were there five minutes ago!” Kili said and looked confused at the same rock.

“That’s it; she’s got tired of the dwarflings here and went on shore.” Thorin rolled his eyes at his nephews.

“Uncle!” Fili hissed in protest and Kili glared at him.

“Don’t worry anymore, I just got hungry and decided to see if it’s anything to eat around here.” They heard Sigrael and as they turned, she stepped out from the bush, fully clothed. “Don’t be surprised, I’m a ranger – I can avoid being seen if I want to.” She smiled and ruffled her hair to get some of the water out so it could start drying in the sun.

“She’s a professional.” Bofur shrugged his shoulders with a smile.

“Nah, but I’m hungry; it’s past midday and I’m hungrier than those wargs we slayed tonight.” She said as she walked away – maybe she could find some rabbits or hares.

*

They slept in a cave that night with two dwarves outside as guards and a warm fire inside so they could get some rest without freezing; Gandalf had discovered that there was a small hole in the ceiling above them, which made it perfectly safe for fires. Sigrael walked up to Thorin, who was waking up from sleep more often than she was comfortable with – she couldn’t sleep at all because her rib hurt too much now as the adrenaline kick had let go of her, but she was worried about the injuries Thorin got from the warg. “Thorin…” She whispered and gently shook his shoulder. “Thorin!”

“Huh?” he woke up again and looked at her with a weary face.

“Can I please take a look at the cuts?” she begged, worried because nobody had really checked them as he, as stubborn as he was, insisted that he was just bruised and beaten up, and the cuts on his chest were just scratches. She knew better after getting a glimpse of them during the bath earlier that day.

“It’s nothing…” he whispered and closed his eyes.

“It is; you look feverish.” She said and laid a hand on his forehead, her stomach sinking as she felt he was becoming hotter than he should be. She laid a hand on her own forehead and found she was not mistaken. “You are getting feverish. The wounds might be infected.”

“Sigrael, please-“

“No more please now; I’ve got enough of your stubbornness now.” She said and undid the belt – Thorin tried to protest but as she pushed his hands away, he seemed to give up and let her do whatever she wanted, too weary to protest. She got his coat off and as she rolled up his shirt and armour, she found that the cuts after the warg’s teeth on his chest were getting swollen and red – more than enough to cause him problems if they were polluted with dirt. She bent down and smelled on them, finding they were getting infected. “Athelas…” she whispered and knew she had spotted it not far away from the cave.

Sigrael tucked Thorin in with blankets and pulled his coat over him to make sure he wasn’t freezing. “I’ll be right back.” Thorin closed his eyes and nodded and she hurried out. On the way she put more wood to the fire and a kettle with water.

“What is it?” Gandalf asked as she met him by the entrance.

“Thorin’s nasty wounds after the warg are getting infected.” She sighed and looked at him before she looked at Gandalf. “I need athelas; that will slow down the infection and avoid fever so he can get over it.”

“Just around the corner.” Gandalf pointed the direction for her. “I saw it as we arrived.”

“Thank you, I think I saw it as well.” She whispered and ran for it. She sighed in relief as she found it and cut off several leaves of it before she rushed back to the cave. She made sure the water was warm enough and brought it with her over to where Thorin laid.

She built up with more blankets under him and got his shirt and armour off and started to clean the cuts with water before she gently chopped the athelas leaves to smaller pieces and gently pushed them against the cuts. First Thorin arched his back a little as the juice from the leaves burned, before he relaxed as the pain was relieved – she could already see the effect on him as the soft scent of the herb calmed him down.

She sighed as she knew she had done what she could for now and tucked him in with blankets after making sure she had not overseen any marks – she let her eyes track his body up and down, but no more cuts to worry about. To herself, she admitted she was still surprised by the fact that his body was so fit and muscular, so well defined. She let her fingers trace down his chest, checking for broken ribs and as she did, she felt how softly the hairs on his chest were tickling against her fingertips and noticed that he seemed to relax by her touch. She managed to hold back a smile, thinking of that night in Bree, when they were just two strangers having an affair before they set out on what could be their last adventure. 

She located two broken ribs on his left side, sighing as she knew that could slow him down if it didn’t get time to heal properly and she looked at him, pitying him for getting this smashed by the warg but also happy that it could have been a lot worse, she knew so well. 

Then she checked on his face and saw that she could clean the cuts there as well. He opened his eyes a little and looked at her, something warm in his gaze. “Forgive me for my stubbornness and harsh words…” he whispered and let his face rest against her knee.

“I forgive you.” She said and rinsed a cloth with warm water, holding his head steady and carefully cleaned the cut on his nose, which was deep and would most likely leave a scar.

“I don’t know what was making me saying those things today; I didn’t mean them to come out that way.” He looked at her with weary eyes.

“We were all upset by what we had gone through in one day and night. And I’m sorry for being harsh myself, I didn’t treat you like I should; you’re my leader, and I am sorry for speaking to you in a way I… I shouldn’t.” She said and carefully rinsed the cut on his forehead. “And I’m so sorry that hit you, I was acting like a child…”

“It’s alright, I deserved that.” Thorin smiled to her. “I have underestimated the hobbit and every word you said was true.” He snapped for air as the athelas burned in the cut but soon relaxed again. “But you must know this; I accepted you to join us because of your skills with weapons and healing; today we’ve needed them both.” She looked him in his eyes as he whispered it. “Our night in Bree didn’t have anything to do with that, I have chosen to let it stay just a pleasant memory. Sometimes it’s been hard, but…”

“I’m glad to hear, thank you.” She smiled to him. “It has been hard, but I think we’ve found a way now.”

“We have. Thank you.” Thorin whispered and closed his eyes. “Thank you for taking care of me as well.”

“You’ll be fine, you just don’t always have to be that stubborn.” She whispered and let a hand cup his face, her thumb caressing his cheek and he relaxed by her touch. “Of course I would take care of you.”

“I’ll try.” He said and there was a small smile on his lips. “Know that I care about you as well.” He whispered and let his face rest against her hand with his eyes closed. “Even the thought of seeing you harmed is horrible to me; I was afraid I had lost you, and as I realized you were still among us, it filled me with a joy I have never felt.”

She stared at him, a strange feeling settling in her. “Thorin, are you-“ she started, but stopped as she realized he had fallen asleep – he was simply exhausted.

She sat there for a moment and just looked at him, wondering if this was what she believed it was. At least on her side, she knew she had grown very fond of this stubborn dwarf with the beautiful face despite a few verbal collisions, especially the last one. But during the process of pushing away the memories of intimate moments, she had started to see behind his looks and seeing who he really was, with all the thoughts and memories. As she saw his breathtaking shell she realized he meant a lot to her; he had started as a quick affair for then suddenly becoming her leader, but now also a friend and what more? She had to admit: she had never been that afraid of losing someone as she had been today – she swallowed heavily as it dawned on her that she had fallen in love with him.

“Is he ok?” Gandalf asked and Sigrael jumped and pulled her hand back as she hadn’t heard him, lost in her thoughts.

“Yes, the fever won’t get any hold of him.” She whispered and slowly got up. “I think I’ll stay close to him in case he gets worse. You never know with these wargs…”

“Do so, I’ll keep an eye on him as well.” Gandalf smiled and laid a hand on her shoulder. “But he’ll be fine – he’s so stubborn he could stare back death.”

“That was what he did last night.” She smiled before she brought her own things over to Thorin’s spot and lay down beside him and pulled a blanket over herself as she felt sleep finally approaching. She leant over him to correct one of the blankets around him and she noticed how good he smelled; not like human men, often reminding her of moss and musk, not like elfish men with their divine scent of forest, but rich and earthly, making her think of the life he once lived under the mountain, as a prince and a king to be, among the masters of mining and crafting. She smiled and laid down on her bedroll and now as her aching rib didn’t bother her as much, she fell asleep.

*


	9. Some Good Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, the company get to rest some before they continue to Beorn. And what happens between Sigrael and Thorin?

“Sigrael, do you know anywhere around here where there’s a good camp?” Dwalin shouted from the front, and she made her way up to him. “And not too far…” he said with a lowered voice as she stood beside him, nodding towards Thorin – he was still terribly beaten and even though he did well in hiding it, he was still very reduced.

“You see that waterfall over there, about 3km away?” she pointed ahead of them, where a river ran over a cliff, a free fall at 15 metres. “I know a place there. Follow me.” She smiled to them and took the lead.

“Is it the place I’m thinking of?” Gandalf said low to her.

“It is. Impossible to find unless you know where it is.” She smiled to him.

…

“A waterfall? Haven’t you noticed the mist around here, impossible to make a fire!” Fili sighed as Sigrael stopped and took a quick glance over the area to make sure it was safe.

“Not to mention we’ll be freezing, we’ve lost almost everything we had!” Bombur commented, sighing as he wiped the mist off from his face.

“We’re not there yet. I was just looking for signs if anyone else had taken shelter here.” Sigrael smiled and started to walk towards the waterfall.

“And there are none?” Bofur asked as he followed her, and soon the rest of the company did as well.

“At first glance, no.” she said loudly, as the splashes and roars from the waterfall drowned their words. She found the small and narrow path that led them behind it and for a moment she stopped and just admired it – in the evening sun it was a beautiful place. Then she continued and soon she found the narrow opening that led them inside the cliff the waterfall sprung from. “Make a torch!” she shouted back to the ones that had the fire tools, as they would need them soon.

With careful steps and a fumbling hand on the rocky wall, she led them into safety. Then a torch lit from behind and was sent forwards to her and now the space in front of them were lit up – in here, it was dry and safe, with soft ground to rest on.

“Welcome to the Bear Cave!” she smiled and turned towards them. “Here’s no bear to worry about, but if you see closely, you see why the cave has got its name.” she held the torch higher and they could see several paintings with paw prints. “They’re as old as the earth we stand on.”

The dwarves looked around as they stepped inside the open space. “Should be more than good enough for us!” Balin smiled to her. “We better get a fire running and see if we can find some food.”

“Lots of trout in this river, if anyone here have a bag they can lend me.” She winked, and soon she was followed out by Ori, Fili and Bifur. The next half hour was entertaining enough for the whole company, as the four mentioned rolled up the legs of their breeches and waded into the river and placed one of them at a narrow point in the river with the bag under water while the rest of them ran and splashed loudly in the river to chase the trout towards the bag. While the fire grew warm, the rest of them gathered around the river to watch the scene with amusement.

Not only one time did one of them fall and splash into the water, and by the time they had caught enough trout to feed the entire company, all four of them returned soaking wet.

“Even our ranger is wet!” Dwalin mocked as Sigrael got her wet shirt off, standing by the fire in only her breaches and the breast cloth.

“Watch your tongue or I’ll dip you in the waterfall!” she teased and wrapped her wet shirt over his head.

“HEY!” he roared and rolled away.

“It was Fili’s fault – he didn’t watch his steps, so he slipped and tackled me.” She smiled to Dwalin.

“You blame me? You didn’t get away quick enough!” Fili said and threw his shirt at her.

“I wouldn’t need to if you watched your clumsy feet!” she teased back and peeked her tongue at him.

“You say?” he smirked and in the next moment they ended up wrestling to finish their disagreement, and immediately the rest of the company responded by making new bets as they ended up rolling on the ground and trying to win the fight.

“One coin on Fili!” Gloin smirked and handed it to Ori who wrote down the bets.

“I put mine on Sigrael!” Bofur smirked and looked at Gloin.

“Fili is stronger.” Nori said with lifted eyebrows.

“But also ticklish.” Kili snickered low.

“She’s got a breast cloth… And her broken rib isn’t fully healed yet.” Oin pointed out.

“Weak sides they both have…” Dori sighed and thought about where to put his bet.

Gandalf looked at Thorin as he placed his coin on Sigrael. “I can’t just sit here and watch…” he smiled to Thorin with a childish light in his eyes.

“Same here.” Thorin sighed, wondering when he’d started to like wrestling – probably because Sigrael was rolling around on the dirt with little clothing.

“AUCH!” Sigrael suddenly hissed as her sore ribs were pushed to the ground. “You asked for it!” she growled and attacked Fili with furious fingers.

“HEY!” Fili suddenly shouted as Sigrael had hit a certain spot.

“Aye, ticklish??” she smirked and attacked his sides with both hands and Fili jumped back, stumbled, and in the next moment Sigrael had jumped on him, locked his thighs together with her knees and attacked his torso with ticklish fingers and all Fili could do, was gasping for air. “Do you want me to stop?? Shall I stop??”

“PLEASE!”

“No this is too funny!” she smirked and kept tickling him while his hands desperately tried to stop her quick moves.

Suddenly one of his hands pulled at the knot of her breast cloth, but nothing happened. “DAMNED!” he hissed as he realized she knew the knot was a weak spot and therefore had made a “male safe” knot. And he who was already exhausted from laughing and gasping…

“Filthy trick!” Sigrael said and pretended to be insulted and grabbed her wet shirt and tied it around his hands. “That deserves punishment!” she jumped off from him and grabbed one of his legs. He stared at her with wide eyes and a silent pray of mercy, but she just grinned back with pure evil.

“No, not his feet!” Kili groaned as she started tickling him again and Fili whined.

As she had done so for a minute, Thorin walked up to her and poked her shoulder. “What?” she said, not stopping to tickle him.

“Try behind his knee.” Thorin said low and just walked away.

“Oh my…” Sigrael grinned and did so.

As Fili’s screams filled the cave, Ori did up the bets. “What? Why am I not getting my coin back!?” Nori protested.

“You expect Fili to win, do you?” Ori said and looked at Fili who just laid there as Sigrael removed her shirt from his hands, without getting tackled.

“I dare say she won…” Gloin sighed as he realized he had just lost one coin. “At least I think Bombur’s ready with supper.” He smiled as he could smell fried fish.

*

Sigrael couldn’t sleep that night, too restless to get the peace she needed, and it was already the second night since the meeting with the Great Goblin and the wargs. Not to mention her rib was aching with a dull pain, since she had no sense to keep out of trouble or playful fights. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, only to find that everyone else was sleeping; the low sound of snoring was to be heard almost everywhere and she wondered how she had managed to sleep around this company for over a month.

She got up and stretched her legs before carefully jumping over the dwarves on her way outside with the blanket under her arm. She followed a path up to an edge with good overview and sat down there and she tucked herself with the blanket, slowly drifting into her own world. She started to think of the last days, how she by a miracle didn’t get herself killed by goblins, how Bilbo even more miraculous had gotten out, how badly injured Thorin got. How close it was.

And, despite the injuries, how amazing it was to feel his warm skin against her palms again, his chest hairs, how soft they were. She remembered how it felt to let her hands trace up and down that belly and chest, to feel the hairs tickle her fingertips as they brushed over them and the soft and warm skin under. To completely remove that shirt and have his torso completely naked, to undo his trousers to see what was waiting underneath – she smiled a little, wondering when she started dreaming of dwarves. Ah wait – after that night in Bree. That damned night she was sure had given her grey hairs by now, considering all the frustration in the following weeks after what she believed to be a one night love affair to never be mentioned again.

“Trouble sleeping?”

Speaking of the devil. She quickly turned around and saw Thorin sitting on a rock not far from her, his time to have the night watch – either he had sat down there after she arrived or she hadn’t seen him when she sat down, and she was glad he couldn’t see her blushing face in the dim moonlight.

“Yeah, I can’t find the peace I need to get some rest.” She sighed and looked over to where he sat, holding the pipe in his hands.

“You’re not the only one.” He said and turned to look at her. “If you can’t sleep, maybe...” he shrugged his shoulders and looked at the spot beside him and then at her.

“Sure, why not?” she said and got up, holding the blanket tight around her in the cool night. She sat down beside him, and they sat there together in silence, both watching the forest around them, looking up at the sky, now and then a full moon shone on them. “I thought you preferred your own company.” She asked after a few minutes – she was surprised that he even suggested that she could come over.

“Lately yes, I used to be more of a social dwarf before, but sometimes it feels good to not be all alone. And you have the ability to be both chatty and silent.” He smiled to her.

“And if you’re pissed at me, but don’t want to insult me but need to yell, you can just go nuts in Khuzdul and I won’t understand a shit, but get the point.” She lifted one eyebrow to him and smiled.

“You still wonder what I said to Kili?” he laughed and shook his head.

“You forgot that I’m like a badger: when I bite, I don’t let go until I hear bones cracking.” She smiled to him.

“I’m not going to tell, that’s something between me and him.” Thorin smiled before taking a deep breath from the pipe.

“And obviously, it was related to me as well.” she looked at him and she could see he was thinking hard, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows.

“Well, at least not now, and it’s not of much importance.” Thorin said and lifted a hand as she was about to answer. “I know you’re going to say that if it’s not of importance, I should tell. But I won’t, not now, since I respect my nephew.”

“Then I won’t push the line again.” She said and he nodded as a silent thank you. She had gotten used to the simple and sometimes rough communication between the dwarves, not to mention the jokes about literally everything, so she guessed the nod meant that he was grateful for her answer and respect.

Then another thing dawned on her, which she had wanted to ask one of the dwarves the last week but never got the chance – it might be that she pushed the line again, but she decided to take the chance. “There’s another thing I want to ask you.”

“Really?” Thorin said with irony, also getting used to her questions to any of the dwarves every time there was some dwarfish culture she didn’t get.

“Beards.” She said and looked at him and he looked at her back with lifted eyebrows. “I was once told that beards are considered very respectful, the bigger beard the more respect. And pulling someone’s beard is the worst insult.”

“That’s right.” Thorin said and blew out some smoke through his nostrils. “My grandfather Thror was quite an impressive sight – dwarves with high rank or are much respected often have big beards. And letting someone touch your beard is a declaration of trust, as the beard is a kind of definition of your personality; you chose the style by how you look upon yourself. So when someone is pulling your beard, they’re more or less mocking who you are.”

“Ah, then I wasn’t wrong.” She smiled and then asked more carefully. “So how can it be that a king has the second shortest beard in the company? I don’t consider Kili as bearded, that’s stubbles.” She shrugged her shoulders like it was just a simple question and to highlight that it was not meant badly.

“You know, if I decided to be an arse now, I could take that as an insult.” He frowned to her and took out the pipe, making her a bit nervous. “But I forgive you, since I know you mean no harm to it.” He smiled and she lowered her shoulders as she knew she didn’t have to flee. “I have chosen that myself – after what happened with Erebor, I decided that I wouldn’t let my beard grow until I had reclaimed my throne. If I had let it grow, it would have been even bigger than Balin’s; after all, my family is known as the Longbeards.”

“Ah, now I understand.” She said and nodded, looking at the ground.

“Thank you.” Thorin said, smiling to her. “Then again, since we seem to have a good flow now…” he said and looked at the ground before he continued, a moment long enough to make her blush as she knew he was right – usually they were insulting towards each other or arguing, so this was a rare moment. “Most human women I have seen, have their hair collected in some sort of simple braids or pony tails, I guess out of practical reasons. Or simply styled out of own choice. How is it that you seem to let your hair live its own life?”

“That is actually the first time I’ve been asked that question.” She smiled, but knew he had a point there. “I just have never really cared about it. My mother used to braid it when she wanted me to look respectable. I tried with a braid for a while after being left on my own, but that got too cold during winter, it was better to let the hair be loose. And I like to think of it as camouflage.”

“Well, nothing wrong about it, to me it looks perfectly fine.” Thorin said and inhaled more smoke as he looked over the treetops – hell, was he even trying to hit on her? Thorin realized this in the silence that followed and wondered when his mind started to disobey his own will. Well, better take the chance, if his luck followed the tradition, somebody else would court her and he would never have the chance again, so better use the opportunity, he thought. He had been too proud to ask for anything more from her, but his pride had somehow softened, especially after what happened under and outside the mountain, but still he couldn’t help but feeling ashamed by the thought of a Durin finding a mate among humans. At least he wasn’t angry towards her anymore. Yet he found himself trying to make his way to her – all these ambivalent feelings and thoughts would drive him crazy someday.

“Okay, tell me to stop if I get bustling now, but… Considering all the interesting ways to style a beard – it can’t have quite the same texture as men’s beards; the variety of styles seems to be a bit more limited there.” She looked at Thorin again, seeing that he laughed a little at the question. “I didn’t think of the texture the one time I touched it!” She said nervously, knowing she was crossing a line when bringing up that night again.

“You are absolutely amusing to chat with.” Thorin smiled warmly to her, before taking her hand and placed it on his cheek, making her gasp a little in surprise. “Now you can make your own decision about it.” He smiled, holding her hand there – something about her touch made him relax, something that had almost become strange for him lately, as he had felt he turned cold by this entire quest since he started to plan it. But she kept him away from it; she reminded him of who he was, in a good way, and made him feel something he hadn’t done for a long time – curiosity and interest. He feared it, but right now it felt just right. With her hand on his cheek, he forgot all about the frustration and confusion, it was nothing else than what it was supposed to be.

“Wow…” she whispered and gently let her thumb run over it. It dawned on her that he, with this action, finally had given her complete trust and she felt honoured. “It’s coarse but still very soft…” she said and let her fingers slide under his jaw, carefully digging them in his beard before cupping his face, letting her thumb carefully run down from the moustache and out on the beard on his cheek again.

“So could I touch your cheek again?” Thorin then asked her and she looked at him in surprise. “Dwarf women have beards as well, and I’d like to feel the warm and soft cheek of a human woman again, it doesn’t happen too often.” He couldn’t resist to ask for the same – her face was, to him, beyond any beauty and he couldn’t help but ask, in hope to get a chance to at least feel her warm skin in his palms again.

“It would be a pleasure” she smiled and took his hand and placed it on her cheek – his warm hand on her face sent shivers down her spine, out to every nerve in her body, and as he let his hand slide under her jaw she closed her eyes and didn’t open them again until he spoke.

“It amazes me how soft it is.” Thorin whispered to her, something warm in his voice that made her short of breath, and she realized she was still cupping his face, and very close to him. “Forgive me…” he whispered and then leant in to her and their lips met.

First she froze, caught by surprise, but then she responded to it, kissing him back, before he pulled away from her. “Sorry, I shouldn’t, I…” he looked to the ground – well, at least he had gotten a last kiss. But she still had her hand on his face and turned him back.

“Don’t be.” Sigrael whispered and kissed him again, and this time they both dared to let hands wander – he let his hand go from her cheek and behind her ear, burying it in her hair while she laid her hand around his neck, pulling them closer.

His tongue brushed against her lips and as she opened her mouth it quickly dived in to dance with her tongue, causing a warmth to spread through her and as it reached her south, she knew she needed the contact, that moment of satisfaction. His other hand rested on her lower back and gently pushed her closer to him, and she couldn’t help but imagining what he would do next.

He gently bit her lip before he broke the kiss and placed soft and curious kisses on her neck, making her short of breath and she started to lean back, letting him take the control. She let her hands wander across his back, sneaking under his coat so only the shirt was between her hands and his skin, feeling the warmth radiating from him. She took a deep breath, noticing a small change in his scent, almost like he got more of that masculine aroma and it drove her crazy and she realized there was no chance the company could neither see nor hear them with a waterfall between them.

Like he had been thinking the same, Thorin gently rolled her over on her back and kissed her along her neck, making her spread her legs to him and he quickly placed himself between them, pushing his crotch against her. She gasped as she could feel how hard he already was and she pushed herself against him, earning a low groan from him.

He shifted his weight, but suddenly stopped and snapped for air. Sigrael recognized what it was immediately and sat up as he carefully moved. “Sorry, I should have thought of that…” she said and carefully laid an arm around him as he sat back on the stone, holding a hand over where two of his ribs were broken.

“Don’t be…” he said with a small smile. “I… I got too eager…”

“I still should have kept in mind…” Sigrael said and looked at him before she looked away and blushed – damn, so this was the way they were heading. She plumped down on the rock beside him and sighed.

Thorin thought the same and sighed, realizing he had little chance to resist her. He looked at her again and pulled her closer. “I can’t hold back…” he whispered in her ear, kissing the edge of it. “This is most likely the only time it’s just the two of us…”

She closed her eyes as his hand slid up between her thighs. “Are you sure…” she started carefully – she knew he was frustrated enough with his injuries as it was.

“You could take the charge.” He smiled and kissed her neck.

Damn, he was right. She was about to climb up in his lap as she heard heavy boots against soft ground just beneath them and she jumped off from him as she realized it was Dwalin that was coming to take his shift. Thorin quickly bent forwards and they made a good scene as the intruder arrived.

“I thought I saw one person missing.” Dwalin said as he spotted Sigrael. “Trouble sleeping?”

“It’s that broken rib of mine, you know.” She said and looked at Thorin, who did very well in keeping his mask.

“Better hope it heals quickly… Already two weeks, so hopefully you’ll be ok soon.” Dwalin smiled friendly before he turned to Thorin. “I suggest the two of you try to get some sleep.”

“Aye.” Thorin sighed and got up, placing a hand on Dwalin’s shoulder before he and Sigrael left.

None of them said anything as they laid down on their bedrolls – Thorin was lying beside her and she turned around to look at him, before she slowly drifted off to sleep, with a twisted feeling in her gut – it had been good, but was it clever? Thorin thought the same as sleep was catching up on him – he had been right, she was a distraction. To him. The worries had always been about the two of them. He had believed he would feel more frustrated at what happened, but Dwalin’s appearance had been a cold bucket of water and he ended up thoughtful instead. He turned his head to the right where she was sleeping and he couldn’t stop a smile – she looked beautiful there she laid, finally sleeping.

*

“Thorin, don’t be stubborn now. Let me take a look.” Sigrael sighed and put her hands on her hips.

“I’m fine…!” Thorin growled low and focused on what little that was left of his breakfast – fish soup, for the record.

Sigrael sighed before she bent down, her eyes on the same height as his before she whispered. “Not according to what I saw last night.”

Thorin glared back – now that was a filthy trick. “And what do you suggest to do with it then?” he asked politely, hoping nobody was paying attention as they were busy cleaning the area after breakfast.

“I suspect I might need to stitch it, now as the infection is over.” Sigrael said and straightened up a little. “I’ve already boiled a needle and some thread.”

“I’m not getting away, am I?” Thorin sighed and let Bofur pick up his empty bowl.

“No.” Sigrael said and smiled. “I’ve even made athelas water to clean the wound and the area around.”

“How fantastic…” Thorin sighed and pulled off his shirt before he leant back against the rocky wall behind him.

Sigrael didn’t waste time and started to clean the area as soon as he lowered his arms again. “I’m afraid we’re out of the sedative ointments, so I’ll try to make this quickly.” She said and looked up at him as she sat down beside him, ready to start.

“I should be fine, been through worse.” He sighed and took a deep breath. “Sure it’s necessary?”

“Since we’re on the move, yes. It’s already showing signs of irritation because it doesn’t get to heal properly, so I’ll have to stitch it together so it get the chance to do so.” She said as she put the thread through the needle’s eye.

“And you’ve done this before?” Thorin asked and looked at her as she aimed for the starting point.

She stopped her move and looked at him. “Yes. Are you nervous, or do you have problems trusting me again?”

Thorin looked Sigrael in her eyes before he sighed and looked away. “Neither. I’m just too proud.” He said low.

“Good. I’ll start now, you don’t have to watch.” She said and pushed the needle through the skin. Thorin snapped for air but took focused on deep breaths instead and let it slowly out as she made the nest stitch. He found that she did the work quickly, precisely and made sure it was good enough before she finally finished the last of the stitches and made a simple knot.

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” she said with a smile as she applied some soothing ointment that would help the healing.

“Not as bad as expected.” He said with a smile.

“You’re scared of needles, are you?” Sigrael said with a smile as she put on some bandages.

“Why do you guess so?” Thorin said with too much pride in his voice.

“Because you grew pale as I mentioned stitches.” She said with a playful smile before she got up. “Get dressed, we’re leaving!”

Damned, she read him way easier than he was comfortable with.


	10. the New Ally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, finally they made it to Beorn. And finally Thorin and Sigrael are getting there.
> 
> SPOILER ALERT: might spoil some things for those poor souls who haven't seen DoS yet!!

Bilbo and Sigrael were hiding behind an edge, watching the wargs and orcs from a distance that didn’t feel safe. “I don’t like this…” Sigrael mumbled and looked at Bilbo. “We should probably go back. I suggest we follow that valley down there, hopefully it leads us away from them.”

“You’re right.” Bilbo said shortly and was about to move as they both froze – there was something else, much closer. They both slowly turned their heads in the direction the sound was coming from, and what they saw, was a massive and enormous bear. “Can I go first?”

“Do so. I’ll be right behind you.” Sigrael whispered and lowered down behind a rock and Bilbo silently hurried down the path to the company. She studied the bear – there was something different about it. Could it be…

She then turned and hurried down to find the company again. “I suggest we follow that valley there.” She said shortly and pointed in the direction. “I guess Bilbo informed you why.”

“That bear…” Gandalf turned to her.

“I think so, yes.” Sigrael said, glad she wasn’t the only one suspecting the bear wasn’t a real bear.

“What is this?” Thorin asked, looking from Gandalf to Sigrael and then back to Gandalf again.

“I know about a house where we could get some shelter, but it depends on the inhabitant.” Gandalf said calmly, but in the next moment they heard a massive roar.

“Friend or foe?” Thorin asked.

“Neither.” Gandalf said and looked up the hill Bilbo and Sigrael had come from. “I suggest we go now. Hurry!”

In one way, it was positive that they didn’t have much left after their little adventure in Goblin Town; it was a lot easier to run down hills without that much luggage. They heard the beast coming closer, but then they saw it – the house. Sigrael was giving her best, considering the not fully healed rib that was threatening with another sleepless night, but then someone ran past her – Bombur. She stared as he was way passed her, not believing her eyes.

As they made it to the house, the panic seemed to make them struggle with getting the door opened, and after what felt like an eternity, they finally got inside, but not a second too late: the giant bear tried to break its way inside, but the many dwarves had enough strength to keep the door closed.

“Now, that was our host.” Gandalf said to answer all the questions that were swarming in the room.

“Neither, you said?” Nori asked and looked at Gandalf.

“The bear is unstable, but the man can be reasoned with.” Gandalf said and looked around – the animals were curious about them, but they didn’t seem to fear the new visitors. “I suggest we get some sleep, hopefully Beorn will have calmed down tomorrow.”

For a while they walked around in the house, trying to find a good place where all of them could be gathered together. Sigrael found a nice place in the hay, but had barely closed her eyes as she felt Gandalf’s hand on her shoulder. “I must ask you a favour.”

“Oh?” she said and slowly opened her eyes.

“Before dawn, you must go outside to find him – I don’t know for sure how he’ll react when he comes back and find his home filled up with strangers and dwarves.” Gandalf said low.

“You got a point there. I go out now.” Sigrael said and got up. “You’ll think I’ll be better for this than you?”

“You have the sweetest and most appealing faces of us – hopefully that gives you time enough to serve him some good words.” Gandalf smiled.

…

“Sweetest face… You fool…” Sigrael thought as she left the house and tucked the cloak tighter around herself. She looked up, seeing a half moon – at least it would provide her with some light. She had walked a small distance up a hill as she spotted the bear – it seemed to be protecting the house, rather than being furious about it getting invaded with dwarves. It gave her a bad feeling; most likely the orcs were still around, and she found a tree with some good branches 4 metres above the ground to sit in.

She had no idea about how many hours she had been sitting there, sleeping now and then, as she woke up by strange steps on the ground – it was the bear, and something was going on, as it stumbled as it walked on the hind legs. She carefully climbed down from the tree, getting a feeling that some of the beast attitude was fading away.

“Beorn!” she called carefully, and the bear turned. It pulled up its lip a bit, baring the teeth a bit. “Don’t be hasty now, I’m just a mere Ranger.” Sigrael said calmly and took a few steps towards it – she realized the bear was nearly 3 metres tall as it rose up to its full height. “You might recognize me from earlier, right?” the way the bear stared at her, she guessed it meant yes. “I’m terribly sorry if we upset you, but we’ve been through a hell of a journey through Goblin Town, lost all our rations and sleep rolls, not to mention some of our weapons, and the orcs are still chasing us. We needed somewhere to sleep and seek shelter, and we knew of this house. We don’t mean to intrude or steal.”

She remained silent for a moment and the bear started coming towards her, but shrinking in size, and soon there was a man standing in front of her. “So you had nowhere else to go?” he asked, his voice low and hoarse, but with a tone that made her respect him immediately.

“If we all were whole and in one piece and not stitched together, yes.” She said and crossed her arms across her chest, trying to ignore the fact that the man was naked.

“Because of the orcs?” he said and started to walk away.

“What else? We got trapped in the Misty Mountains and had to flee through Goblin Town!” Sigrael said as she trotted after him – Beorn was tall and had a quick gait with long steps, so Sigrael, whom happened to be short of growth, almost had to jog to keep up with him.

“Some of them have left, I don’t know why, but the rest are keeping an eye on us.” Beorn said and picked up something hid behind a rock – fortunately, clothes, so Sigrael wouldn’t get too distracted anymore.

“I’m not sure if that makes me relived or not.” Sigrael said with a small smile and looked up at him. “I just wonder – would you be so kind to let us stay for at least one day?”

“I could survive that.” Beorn said as he turned to walk back home.

“We would be forever grateful.” Sigrael said as she followed him.

“Good.” Beorn mumbled, but with something that reminded of the smallest of smiles on his lips.

*

Sigrael woke up the next morning by the sound of merry chatting and eating. She rubbed her eyes and she could smell honey and bread – she quickly jumped out of the bed, wearing only her trousers and a shirt and found a free seat between Gloin and Kili, where she started to fill her plate with food.

“Somebody’s hungry, I see.” Gloin chuckled at the sight of her eating – she ate much, and a bit faster than she had used to, but she hadn’t tasted bread for almost a month, and she had been starving the last days.

“No wonder – it’s tasty and here’s honey!” she said between the mouthfuls, looking at Gloin and tried to smile and he laughed at the sight.

She turned her head as she heard Thorin chuckle as well – he was sitting on the opposite side of her and was just as amused as Gloin. “You almost look like Kili.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Kili mumbled as he downed a mouthful of bread with milk.

“No, I don’t have beard.” Sigrael snickered and looked at him, before she started to laugh. “Maybe we should hide something for Bilbo?” she asked as she realized he was still asleep.

“So you don’t eat it? Yes.” Kili teased back and she poked him with her elbow – it was wonderful to be this relaxed again.

*

She had never considered the company as silent, she would rather describe them as a funny and cheerful group, but she couldn’t remember them being this joyful since the evening in Bag End. And she absolutely loved it, especially as Beorn had decided to befriend the dwarves and not throw them out at the first chance. The entire day Sigrael spent relaxing with them, until after midday when the sun wasn’t as burning – she decided to find a peaceful spot behind a barn where she could do some sunbathing. She took off her shirt and rolled her trousers as far up on her legs as she could, and laid down in the grass, and as she closed her eyes, she fell asleep.

…

Sigrael woke up as she sensed someone’s presence; she opened her eyes and found Thorin kneeling in front of her. “Thought I should check on you.”

“Have I been sleeping here for long?” She asked and sat up, looking around.

“I have no idea, I just noticed you were sleeping when I walked by.” Thorin shrugged his shoulders and got up to walk back to the house.

She watched him leave, but out of nowhere the words came from her. “What did you mean by those words?” she regretted immediately as he stopped in his tracks. He turned to look at her, and to her surprise, his look gave her the courage to continue. “The night after the eagles saved us. You said you… cared for me…”

Thorin looked her in her eyes for a moment before he looked at the ground and she found that his face looked saddened. “It doesn’t matter; it’s only a fool’s hope.”

“Then tell me about this hope.” She said and shifted a little on the ground.

“Would it do you any good?” he asked as he looked her in the eyes again.

“I can’t tell if you don’t share.” She said and looked back at him.

“It can’t hurt you more than it hurts me.” Thorin whispered and the sight in front of her was something she had never believed to see – he looked like he was robbed for absolutely anything he ever had. The pride he usually wore as a crown was gone, and in his eyes she saw just sorrow and no joy. The sudden change in his appearance almost scared her.

“Then why are you holding back then?” she asked kindly, desperate to know what he truly meant.

Thorin looked down for a moment before he walked closer and sat down in front of her. He looked up to see her eyes. “I have absolutely no idea how it happened, I only know it has slowly built up to the point where it drove me insane.”

“Thorin, come here…” she said kindly and patted the spot beside her. “You know you can share what’s on your mind with me; I know how to keep a secret.”

He sighed and sat down and looked at her, still with the saddened look. “Is there anything you can do about it then?”

“Depends. First of all I need to know what is troubling your mind, so go on.” She said with the kindest smile.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to find the words yet, Sigrael…” he sighed and looked away. “But to just sit here in your company do help.”

“So spend a few minutes here with me then.” She smiled and took his hand in hers.

He almost snapped for air as he felt her warm hands holding his – he looked at them, finding them beautiful despite the scars from the battles she had been in. They seemed so elegant compared to his much larger hand, calloused from years of blacksmithing and battles and he couldn’t help but wonder if she had been sitting like this with anyone else before.

“Have you ever loved someone?” he asked after a minute.

“Depends on what love you’re thinking of.” She smiled to him. “I loved my mother and even though it’s 51 years since she died, I still miss her at times. I have been in love, but I don’t think I actually loved them, it never developed into anything else than a week or so of love and joy before we found each other too different or too alike.” She said and turned his hand and started to massage his palm. “You then?”

“I never knew that feeling back then. I have been fascinated, tempted and seduced, but I didn’t love them.” Thorin sighed and closed his eyes, finding that what she was doing with his hand made him forget his worries.

“You think too much, Thorin. Sometimes you should just listen to your heart and surrender, not refuse to do the right thing.” She said low and he opened his eyes again to find her looking at him with a smile he couldn’t define. “What would you do now, if you were to do so?”

“I’m afraid that would be… awkward…” he said and smiled a little.

“Then I challenge you to do it.” She smiled to him, and now he saw that she kind of understood what was going on in his mind now. And he couldn’t resist the urge to do so now as she was challenging him. He looked at her again and decided to close the distance between them and invited her to a kiss.

Her eyes widened for a second, but closed again as she relaxed in his touch; it felt just right to embrace him and lay back on the ground with the soft forest grass as bed and their hands were soon exploring each other again while the kiss grew more and more passionate. Thorin had now given up the thought of staying away from her; this human had stolen his one love and if this was the only chance they had, he would use it. Just one more time; one time where alcohol didn’t affect him and he could give her everything so she would remember him.

He dared to let a hand slide down her belly and between her legs – he pushed it against her, making her moan against his lips. She pushed her hips against him, and he undid the laces that held her trousers closed and continued from there. She was already getting wet and he used her wetness when he started to rub her clit and soon she was blushing, whispering his name and begging him to enter her while he kissed her neck, driving her crazy.

She undid his trousers as well and slid a hand inside. A smiled curled on her lips as she felt his shaft; he was already stone hard, and she playfully gripped around the shaft. A growl sounded from him as she started to pump it, adding that extra touch on the tip that made him buck his hips in reflex as it sent sensational sparks out his body – she remembered.

He undid her breast holder and started to knead one of her breasts before he let his lips cover its nipple, sucking on it and making her moan. Sigrael gasped as he bit it, the sweet pain sending shivers down her spine and tingling every nerve in her. He then moved his hand between her legs again, looking up at her with hungry eyes as if he silently asked for permission to take this a step further. She arched her back and pushed her hips against him, approving his request and he pushed a finger inside her. She moaned and dropped her head back on the ground as the thumb rubbed her clit while the other finger did miracles inside her.

Thorin knew he was bringing her closer by each second, but he had other plans for her and pulled his finger out, earning a disappointed groan from her – he smiled, hoping he wouldn’t disappoint her with his next move.

He pulled off her trousers before he took off his shirt and placed his hands on the ground beside her, kissing her neck as he with a smooth move entered her. He fought to stay calm, as he wanted to give her a chance to get used to his size, and as soon as he was sure she was comfortable with it, he began to thrust harder. He needed this, to blow his mind away for a while and seek comfort in the company of a woman he loved, and he surrendered to the moment. Then it dawned on him that he was now finding the same company with the same woman as last time, but as he looked down on her, he knew it was exactly what he wanted – her, and nobody else; it had been like this since that night.

She curled her legs around his waist, allowing him to go deeper, and met his moves. She closed her eyes as the pleasing feeling filled her; how perfectly he fit her, the hairs on his belly and chest tickling her and driving her crazy with lust, all of it telling this wasn’t one of her dreams.

The act soon grew very intense, both of them unleashing what they had held back for weeks. She pulled her hands through his hair, holding herself close to him and met his moves while he brought both of them deeper into the trance of pleasure. Even though it was intense, it was even more passionate – they both had the other one in focus, giving each other the best they could. They tried to remain silent, considering that the rest of the company was around, but it was hard when the passion was boiling beneath their skins.

She then sat up against him and pushed him back onto the ground before she sat down on him and started to ride him, deep and rocking moves and he dropped his head back on the ground, enjoying that she obviously knew exactly what she wanted. Her hands traced up his belly and across his chest, enjoying the soft fur, for then pulling back again, letting her nails scratch his skin, making him gasp. 

He started to meet her moves, holding her hips tight and thrusting against her and they found their pace together – she bent down to kiss him and he embraced her, feeling her warm body close to his while they were locked together in this sweet act. All she could think of, was how good and right this felt and how much joy and pleasure it brought her – this was even better than the night in Bree.

Her breath turned shorter and he knew she was close to climax – he continued in the same pace, knowing it would reward him, and it did as spasms finally ran through her moist body and she desperately fought to hold back a moan. He took control and continued to thrust, only seconds away himself. For a second something was trying to reach through in her mind, but she had no chance on catching up on what it was as the pleasure grew more intense at its peak, and it remained forgotten – the moment she had with Thorin was much stronger.

Then he came; he growled and bit her shoulder as the sweet pleasure tingled all his nerves, sending spasms through his body while she still trembled around him. He gasped for air as he held tightly around her, closing his eyes for a moment while she held him close to her and listened to his breath as he calmed down after his climax.

Thorin held his arms around her and kissed the spot he had bitten as to comfort her, knowing there would be a mark and he was glad it was normally covered by clothes. She caressed his neck, feeling how moist it was and smiled as the wonderful and relaxed feeling filled her body and mind. “Are you ok?” she whispered and kissed his neck.

“Better than in a long time…” he whispered back and took a deep breath. “I feel amazing, actually.”

“That’s good.” She smiled and kissed his nose.

“You then?” Thorin asked and let a hand run up and down along her waist.

“Fantastic.” She said and blushed a little. “Better than last time?”

“Since we’re not affected by alcohol… Yes.” He murmured and kissed her neck.

“I hate to be realistic, but… We better get our clothes on before somebody walks up on us.” She whispered and looked at him for a moment before she left him to find her trousers.

“A shame, but you’re right.” He sighed and sat up, closing his trousers and reaching out for his shirt. “We can talk more later?” he asked kindly, watching her pulling on her own trousers and getting her breast holder back on again.

“Sure we can.” She smiled as she pulled the shirt over her head and then reached out a hand for him. “We better get back before anyone gets suspicious.”

He knew she was right – he took her hand and she pulled him up, and as they walked back together, they pretended like nothing. But nothing would ever be the same again.

*

After the dinner as the dwarves prepared to go to sleep, Sigrael sneaked out for a moment and sat on the fence outside, smoking some of the hobbits’ weed to calm her nerves; she did think a lot about what was ahead of them – Mirkwood. She heard Gandalf followed her, but she didn’t turn to see. He leaned against the fence beside her and looked over the plains and to the edge of the forest with her for a long moment before neither of them said anything.

“I will not stick my long nose in any of your businesses, but I will advise you to be careful.” He said calmly.

“How?” she frowned and looked at him.

“There are very few things that slips away from me, remember that.” Gandalf said and picked up his own pipe. He looked for his matches, but Sigrael had already lit up one and helped him lit the weed. “Thank you.”

“So what didn’t slip away from you?” she asked, not admitting anything if she could avoid it.

“What’s going on between you and Thorin?” Gandalf asked calmly.

“I wonder what made your brain running.” She frowned and looked at Gandalf.

“As always, you won’t admit anything unless you have to… I should remember after all these years that you are secretive.” Gandalf chuckled before he looked at her, but now a bit more serious. “I haven’t seen anything compromising, but I have a feeling that there’s something going on, and considering the looks he’s been giving you, I think it is a win or lose-game. That’s why I’m asking you to be careful.” Gandalf said totally unaffected while she got a nice blush of pink on her cheeks – she really hoped he didn’t know what happened hours ago. “A game where careful steps might save you while just drifting along could cause more harm than you have ever known.”

“Oh.” Sigrael said and shrugged her shoulders, trying to make it look like it wasn’t a big deal at all. “But there’s nothing in it, so don’t worry. Why are you advising me to be careful?” by some reason, this made her more nervous than she was comfortable with.

“Because things might change during the quest, and then you better not get too bonded to anyone.” Gandalf said and looked at her. “To take care of each other, to love the ones close to your heart is a strong power that can move mountains. But it can also put you at risk.”

“I see.” Sigrael said and looked out over the plains again, understanding there was no point in denying it – Gandalf had understood, at least parts of it. “But I swear, there is nothing to worry about, I’ll be fine.”

“But I now have to ask you – have you met him before?” Gandalf looked at her with piercing eyes. “I heard him whisper something about Bree, that night he was fighting the fever.”

Then she heard steps behind them and she immediately recognized them without looking. “Speak of the devil…” she frowned and Gandalf chuckled, but deep inside she blessed Thorin for the timing.

“You do indeed have the hearing of an elf, sure there isn’t any elfish blood within you?” Gandalf laughed as Thorin walked up beside them.

“Closest thing to elfish is my numenorian bloodlines, so it’s more a matter of training.” She smiled to Gandalf.

“You impress me.” Thorin smiled to her as he stood on the other side of her.

“Here, have some pipe-weed, it’s from the Shire.” She smiled and handed him the pipe. “I thought you had gone to bed.”

“Thank you.” He said and inhaled the smoke. “I wanted a few words with you, Sigrael. Alone.”

“I’ll leave you two then.” Gandalf smiled to them and looked at Sigrael before he left, as to remind her of what he said and she simply nodded back to him. How embarrassing, like things hadn’t been embarrassing enough from the beginning when only two souls knew. She hoped he didn’t suspect that part of their interactions.

“I just wanted to make it clear that as long as this quest goes on, we should be more careful.” Thorin looked at her and handed her the pipe back. “Good weed.”

“Yeah, better not risk anything. And Gandalf knows.” She shrugged her shoulders and Thorin looked at her with a frown. “He heard you whisper about Bree, and he said something about looks, so I guess he knows we’ve met each other before, but I have no idea if he knows about… that part. But relax, he won’t tell anyone.”

“Ah, I see.” Thorin said and leant against the fence, resting his chin on his arms who lay across the upper plank. “And I think Bofur saw us coming back together, at least he did some childish and rude gestures to me about getting laid.” He lifted his eyebrows. “I just looked back at him with a slightly disgusted look, so he better believe I would never touch you that way.”

Sigrael had just been inhaling smoke as he said this and ended up coughing and laughing hard at the same time. As she managed to get control of it, she looked at him with tears in her eyes and fighting against the laughter. “And I thought I could be secretive? You’re worse than me!”

“I prefer to not having Bofur bothering me with silly hints, and especially not my nephews.” Thorin said and looked at her with a smile before he turned to look across the plains. He then watched her as she put out her pipe and put it back in her pocket. “Do you follow me back?”

“Yes, but Thorin…” she asked and looked at him. “Why did you suddenly… want to do it again?”

Thorin sighed, leaning over the fence again, before he lifted his gaze to look at her. “I have wanted you ever since Bree, I just tried to stay focused. I believed you would be a distraction to the company, but I found that the only distraction is my own mind. I can’t exactly tell what made me cross the line again.” He sighed and looked at her. “I admire you. Just look at how you’ve been fighting.”

“Well, I’ve done what I had to.” She said with a smile and climbed down from the fence and sat on the ground.

“You were fighting like you faced no fears.” Thorin said with a small smile, but with pride in his eyes.

“I was afraid, that night…” she sighed and looked down.

“For what?” Thorin asked and knelt in front of her.

“I thought it was over… with you…” she whispered and looked up at him and her eyes became wet. “I honestly believed you were dead, and when you got up on your legs, I’ve never been so happy to see someone getting up.”

Thorin stared at her, wondering how it could be that she cared that much for him. “Sigrael, you still kept your head cool. There are all reasons for respecting and admiring you.” he got up and reached out a hand for her. “Come here.” She took his hand and he pulled her up. “I hope you can forgive the stubbornness of an old dwarf.” He said low and looked her in her eyes.

“You are forgiven.” She smiled as she embraced him.


	11. Follow That Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So finally Thorin and Sigrael's relation is developing in a positive direction, as Thorin allows her to comfort him in his grieve. They also start their journey towards and through Mirkwood, well knowing dangers are ahead.

“So right now the only option is to go through Mirkwood?” Sigrael sighed and looked at Gandalf.

“We will use too much time going north and around it, and twice as much by going south. In the north there is too many wargs and goblins now, our little visit has made us quite a chaos in their cities. And by going south, we’re getting too close to Dol Guldur.” Gandalf said and looked at her, before he moved his gaze to Thorin and Beorn. “And we don’t have the time to take these long roads around.”

That place… She had been too close once as she tried to take a shortcut through the forest, the second time she was in Mirkwood. She shuddered as she thought of how close it was.

“I see you’re not comfortable?” Beorn asked and sat down by the table.

“I’m not.” Sigrael said and straightened her back. “I guess we both know how terrible these creatures can be. Torture is something I want to avoid.”

“What did they do?” Thorin asked and looked at her.

“They’ve found out that pouring fine salt in wounds is pretty painful. You see this?” she said and pointed at the scar on her forehead – Thorin had noticed it the evening in Bag End, and now he got to hear the origin of it. “I got captured and brought to one of the watch post they have around Dol Guldur. They saw I was a Ranger, and for two days they put me through endless beating and other fine methods of torture, among them the salt in wound trick. A shame for them I had no idea what they asked me about, and luck for me that the giant spiders showed up hungry.”

“When was this?” Thorin asked, looking at her with eyes that, to her surprise, seemed to be empathic – he had never shown her that side before.

“Three years ago. It was then I started to find out what was going on here.” Gandalf said. “And now we have to go through there again if we are going to make it to Erebor within Durin’s Day.”

“You should go further north, use the old elfish path.” Beorn said and crossed his arms. “Just stay to the path, don’t lose it. Then it’s not good to know what will happen to you. The elves defend their borders, but not any more than that, and I don’t know how far north the spiders are going.”

“Seems like the worst is ahead of us…” Thorin sighed.

“Don’t come here and tell me you expected it to be easy as soon as you crossed the mountains?” Sigrael asked with a small smile.

“I hoped we wouldn’t meet too many dangers, the dragon is bad enough.” Thorin mumbled and rose up from the chair. “I need to talk with my company.”

*

“Now that is even more moody than I’ve seen him.” Nori whispered as Thorin had entered their hall, aggressively fumbled through the little that was left of his things after Goblin Town, found his pipe and set off in something that looked like anger.

“And I thought he looked horrible after I triggered him…” Sigrael said low as she watched Dwalin go outside to follow Thorin.

“This can’t be good…” Bofur swallowed heavily.

In the next moment, Gandalf entered the room, spotting Oin and silently telling him to come with. “What was that about?” Bofur asked as Gandalf was about to leave.

“I don’t think I’m the right to tell, at least not now.” Gandalf said after thinking for a few moments. “But soon you’ll know.”

And Gandalf was right – a while later, Balin and Dwalin came back, their faces coloured by grief. Sigrael had never known Thrain, but now his fate had finally been revealed – Thorin had finally got the chance to ask Gandalf how he’d gotten the map and the key from his father, and the truth about it had been heartbreaking. Gandalf had gotten them in Dol Goldur, from a dwarf so tortured and driven mad by pain that he wasn’t recognizable and hardly remembered his own name, but had handed these two things to Gandalf with the simple message of giving them to his son, and shortly after he had died. Back then, Gandalf didn’t even know it was Thrain, but had understood it by time as he studied the map and the key. Thorin had clung to the hope that his father was still alive somewhere, but this was far worse than what they had imagined – tortured to madness, not even buried in stone.

Sigrael felt a lump in her throat growing – she knew how it was to lose someone dear. It wasn’t all the same, but she had lost her mother to orcs and had fought to save her life, but had lost the battle a few days later. And during this journey with the dwarves, she had learned how close they were to ones kin and how important family relations were, and it made the whole thing even worse.

Sigrael got up on her legs without a word and left the room – she knew they would try to stop her, telling her to leave Thorin alone for a while, but the least thing she wanted to, was to offer him some company, if he wanted to. Out in the hallway, she found his cloak hanging and she picked it down and laid it over her arm as she walked out to find him. She could never forgive herself if she left someone grieving without at least checking on them – she knew far too well how difficult it could be to ask for someone.

It didn’t take her long to find Thorin, as the Ranger she was – both shoeprints and the scent of pipe-weed revealed him long before she could see him. She carefully walked up to him and carefully knelt beside him and laid a hand on his shoulder, and she felt how tensed he was, what impact the news had on him.

“I’m afraid there are no words to soothe this.” She said softly. “No words will do justice.”

“How could you know I was thinking that?” Thorin said low without looking at her. He just stared at the nothingness in front of him.

“Because I’ve lost loved ones too.” Sigrael whispered and laid the cloak over his shoulders. “But some warm comfort against the cold always helps. The sky is starry so the night will be cold.”

“Was it your mother you lost? 51 years ago?” Thorin asked and looked at her and for a moment she just looked back at him – she had never seen him like that; broken, sorrowed, scared.

“Yes. She was ambushed by orcs, and for several days I tended her wounds, before she gave up the fight. She had struggled enough in her life, and I think she saw that I would be able to take care of myself and found that her time here was over. I don’t blame her...” Sigrael said low and looked to the ground. “I was 14, it was then I started on the long road that has led me here.”

“I see.” Thorin said low and just looked ahead of him, into the forest. “It just feels so unfair, all the injustice my family has suffered the last generations…” he whispered and looked down. “I knew the chances were small, but this… I had still hope…”

“He didn’t deserve it. None would.” Sigrael said and laid an arm around his shoulder. “But despite it all, he displayed a strength none other would – he kept going till he was sure you would get the map and the key.” She sensed how he tensed, and decided she had done what she could – not much, but at least shown to him that she understood and had given him his cloak so he wouldn’t freeze.

“You’re right…” he whispered and looked at his hands as she got up to leave. “But now it’s so… final…”

“Let it out – not all tears are of the bad kind.” She said soothingly as she looked down on him – it pained her, to see him this broken. “Do you want me to stay or leave?”

Thorin sighed and then looked up at her. “Would you stay? Just… be here?” he asked after a long moment – he didn’t quite understand why, but after the incidents the last days he felt that he finally knew her and trusted her. And right now she could offer something he needed – comfort and understanding. He didn’t have the time to mourn properly right now, he knew he would need days for that, days he didn’t have. If she could just understand and comfort, it would make it easier for now – not a solution, but good enough at the moment.

“If that is your wish.” She said with a friendly and warm smile. “Come over here, behind that rock there’s some shelter from the wind.” She nodded and walked over to a large rock and sat down on the soft ground. Thorin sat down beside her, and much didn’t happen – sometimes he was silent, sometimes low sobs came from him, and now and then he cried silently with his arms rested on his knees or looking up at the sky. All the time Sigrael sat there – either with a hand on his shoulders, sometimes holding him closer or letting him be – but she let him decide, she didn’t want to force comfort on him when he didn’t want it, but he seemed to appreciate her way.

“You have seen lots of sorrow, haven’t you?” Thorin asked after a while of just staring into the forest.

“It’s a part of my life, for us Rangers as well as other folk. We’re a simple kind of people that enjoys the small things in life, so losing a horse or dog can to someone be like a world collapsing. I’ve seen parents losing children, sisters mourning over lost brothers, husbands tearing down what’s around them at the loss of a beloved wife… I have comforted many during my 65 years on this earth. Death is as natural as life, it’s just much harder to cope with.” She shrugged her shoulders. “We want those we care about in our lives.”

“What was the worst of them?” Thorin asked.

“It’s hard to say. But the one I remember the most was the loss of a newborn child. A little boy born too early and in the winter, he couldn’t handle the cold. He was born in a nomad family with no permanent home and was born in the wilderness – a family I travelled with for three years.” Sigrael sighed. “The poor boy fought till the bitter end. With such a strong father and wise mother I’m sure he would have grown to a wonderful man if he was allowed to live.”

“No parents deserve to bury their own children.” Thorin sighed and looked at her – he suddenly looked so much older when the grief was so visible on his face. “I remember the funeral of Falin, the father of Fili and Kili, and the grief on his parents’ faces. In one way I’m glad dad and grandpa never got to know Frerin died in that battle. It was just so unfair, Frerin had hardly started his life.”

“Many who lived deserved to live, and many who lives deserves to die, but it’s not something we have the right to decide. The right we have is to find a way to cope with this.” Sigrael sighed. “I don’t even know my father, and many times I’ve missed to have one. That is why Elrond and Gandalf are so dear to me – they’re the closest thing to a father figure I’ve had. My father let my mother down when she needed him the most, and to me that is a betrayal so deep that… to be honest, in my head he has no rights anymore. But I’m not the one to decide, as long as he stays out of my life.”

“I didn’t know that…” Thorin said low, suddenly feeling a bit bad for the fuzz he made in Rivendell – he had just been very shocked to know it at first. “What happened with them?”

“My mother got pregnant and told my father, but instead of taking care of her like he should, he refused to have anything to do with her – she believed it was love, but she was mistaken. He just used her. So my mother fled in shame and that’s why it was just the two of us till the day she died.” Sigrael said and studied her nails.

Thorin looked at her for a long while. “If I’m allowed to say so, your father was a rotten person.”

“I agree on that.” Sigrael said and smiled a little. “Should we head back inside?”

“It’s already getting dark outside, and we have to get up early tomorrow…” Thorin sighed and got up. Sigrael followed him, keeping a watchful eye with the forest around them. Suddenly Thorin stopped and turned around to her. “I’m glad you’re here. You’re doing good to the company.”

“I’m glad I’m here too.” She said with a warm smile and caressed his cheek with her hand before she took the lead back to Beorn’s place.

*

The next day they had to set off, and Beorn was kind enough to send with them supplies of bread and honey and containers for water, and a pony for each of them. They had needed the days of rest, Sigrael noticed it by how much better the mood along the company was.

She rode beside Bofur and saw that that he was flicking with something. “What’s that?” she asked friendly, curious about this little thing he held. “Is it a piece of a necklace?” she asked as she saw it was attached to a leather rope around his neck, one he must have hidden under his shirt.

“Aye.” He smiled and looked at it for a moment with dreamy eyes.

“Where did you get it from? It’s looks really beautiful from here.”

Bofur tilted his hand a little so Sigrael could see – it was a flat piece of silver engraved with runes she couldn’t read, but she got a feeling that this was crafted from someone special. “It really is beautiful – who gave it to you?”

“She’s waiting in Ered Luin…” Bofur sighed and looked dreamy. “Ira is her name.”

“You love her, don’t you?” Sigrael asked with a smile, seeing that they talked about his One.

“I do.” Bofur smiled and looked at it a last time before he hid it under his shirt again and picked up his pipe instead. “I hope I live to see the day that she comes to Erebor with her crafting, to have a new beginning here.”

“I hope to see that day too.” Sigrael smiled friendly, somehow feeling hope grow in her as she saw how much he seemed to love this lass.

*

Sigrael yawned as Bombur was taking the next shift after hers – she stretched her arms above her head, stretching her back. Her broken rib only gave her a dull pain by now and she smiled, glad that it wouldn’t bother her that much anymore. She carefully jumped over the sleeping shapes of her company, looking for the free bedroll. She almost stepped down on Bifur as she saw that the free bedroll was beside Thorin – it made her nervous, considering how tensed their relation used to be, but they seemed to have sorted out, hadn’t they?

She stood there for a few moments, wondering, but Thorin made the decision for her. “Are you going to stand there or are you going to lay down?” She smiled as she remembered that Thorin was never really asleep, it seemed. She took the steps over to the bedroll and laid down. “You don’t have to fear me anymore.” Thorin whispered to her.

“Sure about that?” she whispered back, feeling sleep catching up on her.

“I am.” Thorin smiled and closed his eyes again. “Good night Sigrael.”

“Good night Thorin.”

*

The following week it took to make it to Mirkwood was thankfully calm and with no bigger incidents. But there were several times Bilbo came up to Sigrael or Gandalf, sure he had seen something, and the little hobbit was more observant than many of the dwarves.

“I saw something down there. Something big. Are you sure the wargs aren’t following us?” he would ask, but most times they didn’t see anything more and let it be. But this time Sigrael had enough.

“I thought I saw something too.” She said and halted her pony. “Just go on, I’ll check it out.”

“Sigrael, have you spotted something?” Thorin called from the front as he saw her going off the path.

“Not yet.” She said and continued – by now, the dwarves had learned that she was better safe than sorry, and wouldn’t let themselves worry that easily anymore. Thorin just nodded to her and the dwarves continued.

She trotted down the hill as the pony was steady and placed its hooves softly on the grass, hardly making any sounds. The pony suddenly stopped and Sigrael almost fell forward across its neck but managed to stable herself and straighten up again –and looked straight at a giant bear. She chuckled and in the next moment the pony neighed, recognizing its master.

The bear turned and Sigrael kept her safe distance, waiting for Beorn to take the first move. He looked at them for a long moment before he walked towards them and transformed back to his human form. “You are indeed a good spotter and tracker.” He said and there was a small smile on his lips.

“It was Bilbo seeing you first.” She smiled and climbed down from the pony. “Don’t you trust that we’ll send the ponies back?”

“That, and that orcs and goblins are probably up to something after your visit, so I keep an eye on you.” He said and looked down on her – Sigrael sighed, he seemed to not be shy at all as he again stood naked in front of her.

“If they wanted to get the ponies through Mirkwood, they would have to walk over my cold dead body – and they know it’s not worth it, I’ve been quarrelling with Thorin before.” She smiled to Beorn. He walked over to the pony and rubbed it’s mane while looking at her. “So don’t worry about them – they are dwarves of their words. And to be honest, I’m grateful you’re keeping an eye on the orcs – it’s good to know there is an extra pair of eyes. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. They’re not only your problem.” Beorn said. “Now you better get back so they don’t worry about you. But I’d like you to not tell of my presence – hopefully you won’t even need my aid.”

“You’re right.” Sigrael said and looked at him, understanding why he wished so. “I’d love to give you a hug but you’re both tall and… naked… Not that I’m a shy person, but…” she could feel her cheeks burning by now.

“If I crouch down like this?” he asked and crouched down, hiding a bit more of himself at the same time as he wasn’t as tall as before.

“That is much better.” Sigrael chuckled and walk up to give him a hug. “Thank you Beorn. If I ever hear a bad word about you, I’ll be telling them that despite you disliking dwarves, you helped 13 of them and their friends.”

“Thank you.” Beorn smiled to her as they broke the hug. “Be careful – I’d like to see all of you alive again.”

“I hope so.” She smiled and jumped up on the pony again – as she looked over her shoulders again, the bear looked back at her.

…

“Did you see anything?” Bilbo asked as she returned.

“Nothing to worry about. These lands are crawling with deer, so I guess it was just that. Found many tracks!” she smiled to him before she walked up to Gandalf.

He turned to her and said low. “Beorn.”

“Yes.” She said, looking around.

“Secret?” Gandalf whispered and she just nodded. “Good.”

*

Finally they reached the entrance of the old elfish path – it looked intimidating and dark, but they knew they had no other option. Sigrael was standing outside and preparing the ponies for their journey home while Gandalf checked out the path.

Her surprise was great as Gandalf returned with hurry. “Not that pony! I’ll need it!”

“Why?” Dwalin asked as he was about to loosen the girth of the saddle.

“I have to leave you.” Gandalf said with apologetic eyes. “I just got businesses to tend to.” He said and looked at the company, and for the first time looking almost afraid.

“What is it?” Balin asked and walked up to him. “What is so urgent that you’ll have to leave us at this dreadful place?”

“Exactly what makes it this dreadful. The forest is sick, and I think I know what the source is, and to be sure I have to check some things, and I have little time.” He said and then turned to Sigrael. “You will have to stay with them. They need you now as I will have to go.” He laid a hand around Sigrael’s shoulder and lead her away from the company. “It’s about Dol Goldur. Whatever you do, do not turn south. You know what I mean.”

“I know.” Sigrael said and nodded. “I wish you luck Gandalf.” She whispered and embraced him for a hug. Gandalf laid a hand on her head and looked down at her for a moment before she stepped away to pick up her things. “Come on lads, we better get going if we want to be there before Durin’s day!” she called to the group. They did as she said, but she turned to Gandalf. They smiled to each other, both hoping it wasn’t the last time they saw each other.

“Is he really leaving us?” Bilbo whispered as Gandalf set off on the pony – the Company stood there, watching Gandalf riding south again.

“Seems so.” Fili muttered and shook his head. ”Mirkwood without a wizard by our side, that will be great.”

“I’ve made it all alone, two times. It was tough, but with a company like this, I think it will be smoother.” Sigrael said bravely to cheer them up.

“She’s right, we better get on with it – the sooner we start, the sooner we’ll be in Laketown.” Gloin said and the dwarves picked up their things and turned towards the forest.

“Not a funny ride…” Bofur sighed and he looked into the darkness.

“Just be aware of the spider webs. And don’t walk off the track.” Sigrael said comforting and laid a hand on Bofur’s shoulder.

“Thanks.” He smiled and looked at her.

The dwarves slowly started to walk into the forest in a long line, but Bilbo was hesitating; he looked at the forest with an unsettling feeling in his guts. “What if something goes wrong?” Bilbo whispered to her.

“Then I’ll be there and do my best.” She said and knelt in front of him – she had Seen something a while back, the very same vision as she told Gandalf about. “Be brave – they will need your courage before we make it to Laketown. And I’ve already seen you have it in you.” She whispered and gave him a hug. “Don’t worry – stay calm and carry on.”

Bilbo hugged her back before he stepped away a little and smiled to her. “Thank you. I’ll remember that.”

“Do so.” she smiled warmly and set off.

She had turned to look after Gandalf as she heard Thorin calling for her; the company was waiting at the edge of the forest and she walked towards them. Slowly they set off into the forest, looking for the track and as soon as they found it, Dwalin took the lead and Thorin pulled Sigrael aside. “Sigrael, I just wanted to say…” he sighed and looked at her with a gaze that told her he was just as happy about this as her – not much at all. “Be careful, don’t risk anything. We’ll need you now more than ever.”

”I promise.” she smiled warmly and laid a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll make it to Laketown.”

“I hope so.” Thorin said and looked down.

“Thorin – we will.” She said and lifted his face with her hand. “I know, trust me when I say it.”

“I’ll do so then.” He smiled shortly. She caressed his cheek with her thumb before she followed the company, and he walked up just behind her. “Let’s hope we won’t meet too many dangers then.”

“I’ve been through worse.” She smiled and corrected her bag. “And now we’re on an elfish path, the orcs won’t get too close to it.”

“I’ll pray to Mahal for that.” Thorin sighed.

*

Last time Sigrael had been through Mirkwood, the forest wasn’t as sick as it was now. The first time had been like a nice picnic compared to this; she felt nauseous after over a week in there, lost track of days and all the time she felt damp and short of breath because of the poor air in there. At points she thought she was going mad as she was sure she had two of somebody, or even herself. And she wasn’t the only one; Bilbo swore that he had seen himself several times. She could see rotting trees everywhere, cobwebs which worried her greatly, and all the animals seemed to be black of colour. They tried to make meals of them, but they tasted horribly, and at night several eyes of different colours were staring down at them, making sleep hard.

And it just got worse as they managed to lose the track.

Sigrael suddenly noticed that the company was spread away from the path – she looked around, nervous and anxious – what to do? “Hey, come back here!” she shouted, but it seemed like they couldn’t find back. “Thorin?!” she shouted as she was sure he had been right behind her just a moment ago – on the other hand, that could be hours, she really had no idea what time of day it was nor how long a minute lasted in here.

Nobody answered and she began to fear that she was the one that had lost track. She started to jog back, all the time shouting for the others.

“Over here!” she heard Dwalin, and without thinking she stepped of the path to follow him.

The forest was a labyrinth, but soon she had found them again. “Good to see you, I thought you’d lost the track but obviously it was me!” she said and laughed a little.

“What, did you still have the track?” Dori asked confused.

“What?” Sigrael’s heart suddenly stopped.

“We were looking for it!” Bombur sighed and sat down on the ground, looking desperately at her.

“Where did you come from?” Thorin asked, walking up to her.

“Why did you call me over if you had lost the track?” Sigrael groaned and buried her face in her hand.

“We thought you’d lost the track too!” Dwalin said and looked horrified.

“Great, now all of us have lost the track!” Bilbo sighed and leant onto a tree. He couldn’t believe what kind of circus he had joined.

“We better just try to figure out where you came from.” Bofur said, but his sad face revealed that he thought they were all lost by now. And they were.


	12. In the Dungeons of Mirkwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So our company are captive, and our brave yet blunt Ranger tries to find a way out. Good that they have Bilbo lurking around!

Soon a quarrel started, where all of them got involved, and nothing was gained – they were lost, there was no way back. It was then Bilbo got the idea – they needed to see the sun, the mountains – then they could point out the direction. “Sigrael! You have any idea of the time of the day?”

She pulled out from the quarrel, glad somebody seemed to have kept a little bit of his senses. “I bet its midday, but I’m not sure – here’s it’s either pitch black or twilight.”

“I’ll climb up to the rooftop and see, maybe I can see the mountain!” Bilbo said and started to climb.

“I’ll stay right here. Just keep your eyes out for the cobwebs!” Sigrael said and looked at the dwarves that now stood and quarrelled – she had thought that the sickness of the forest was affecting her badly with nauseous and hallucinations, but at least she still had some of her senses left, she thought at she studied the nails, waiting for a signal from Bilbo.

But she never got to hear his news as she was distracted by a sound of a twitching twig – she turned to see and barely got to pull up her sword as four sets of eyes and a open mouth with fangs stared right back at her. She quickly ducked down and stabbed the throat of the beast and it collapsed, but more kept coming.

“TO ARMS! SPIDERS!” she roared as she started to fight the next – she had hoped she would never face these beasts again, but she was wrong. Flashbacks haunted her as she fought them as good as she could; she remembered fleeing on limping leg, pain burning across her forehead and a constantly pulsing and dull pain in her entire body as she defended herself with a crappy orc sword. To her luck, only three spider scouts followed her and she had managed to kill them and get away from the rest.

But as she focused on the present, she found that an entire colony was attacking them, and even with 13 others to fight with her, it was too much and they were soon over-whelmed. The last thing she remembered before a sting in her back, was seeing Bifur and Oin being tucked in with webs. She just hoped Bilbo and the rest got away.

*

Was she falling? Sigrael had really no idea, she couldn’t see anything. She could hear the others cursing, somebody beside her was fighting to get out of the webs, but she was tangled in it in a way that didn’t allow her to move her arms. “Somebody, help!” she managed to call out.

She felt hands fumbling and pulling at the webs and soon her face was freed, and she looked straight up at Thorin. “Are you ok?” he asked as he had found his sword again and quickly cut the webs enough so she could free herself.

“I think so, except from feeling sicker than in a long time.” Sigrael mumbled and got up. “I think I’m going to throw up!” she quickly bent down and allowed her body to do what it desired. She saw the hilt of her sword being held up in front of her and she grabbed it with one hand – this venom from the spiders had a horrible effect, she thought. She heard them coming back, she had to get up on her legs again.

She wiped her mouth and got up to continue fighting – she lost count of how many they killed, it seemed like more was coming all the time, that for each they killed, two more arrived. They tried to flee through the forest, it was chaos around them and Sigrael lost the control she had on them, not knowing if anyone was killed or not.

She stopped as she suddenly stared at an arrow just inches from her face – in one way she was relieved, knowing that the elves knew how to handle the beasts, but she was also horrified because of the tensed relation between dwarves and elves, and she had no idea how these elves would deal with them. They weren’t like their relatives further south and west.

“Do not think I won’t kill you dwarf!” one of them hissed and aimed straight at Thorin.

There were many elves and they effectively slaughtered the spiders, but there was no chance for them to get away, and as the spiders were either killed or fled, the elves started to check on them, taking all their weapons away. An elf started to check every pocket of Sigrael’s jacket, feeling if she had hid any daggers. “Do I look like a weapon trader?” she asked as she thought he had inspected her enough.

“A Ranger with only a sword, a dagger and two knives?” he asked and held up what he had found in front of her. “And a bow with 11 arrows? I’d expected to find more.”

“I need to travel easy.” She said and stared him back.

The elves started to lead them back, and Sigrael just hoped that she could somehow help them out of this tricky situation, but she had little hopes – if what Elrond had told her about his relatives, it would be tough. And it was.

She had no idea how long they waited in the dungeons before Thorin showed up again. She heard him say something in Khuzdul, but she had no knowledge about the language. “What did he say?” she asked Bofur, which she shared her cell with.

“He basically told Thranduil and his family to get shit on their faces and burn.” Bofur mumbled. “I guess we dwarves and humans have one thing in common, and that is that these words are very insulting.”

“They are. For elves as well.” Sigrael mumbled and slid down by the cell door. “So, how does he think we’ll get out now?”

“Can you see burglar?” Bofur asked and Sigrael stared at him – oh dear, Bilbo. Was he even alive?! She gasped for breath as she realized it. “We must put all our hopes there.” Bofur said and sighed.

“We have to…” she sighed, but then brightened up. “But I speak sindarin.” Sigrael whispered and looked at Bofur with enthusiasm.

“You think that will help us?” Bofur looked at her with lifted eyebrows.

“If I’m lucky, I could get out for a while, maybe seeing if there are any weak spots. Or maybe come to a deal with Thranduil.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“What can you offer him?” Bofur whispered, but not looking as broody as moments before.

“I’ll have a share of the treasure if we win back the mountain. And I know the story about those jewels I know he still claims as his. Elrond told me a few things.” Sigrael smirked.

“Your elfish knowledge might actually be useful!” Bofur grinned. “Go on, try to make contact!”

“Patience – I need the right timing and the right elf. But I’m already observing.” She said and looked at a female elf with auburn hair. “My mother would say she had the right colours.”

“Auburn?” Bofur asked confused.

“No, the heart.” Sigrael said and didn’t take her eyes off from the elf.

“But are you willing to give your share of the treasure to get us out? Are you mad?” he asked after a minute as he was thinking through things. “You know how much it is, right?”

“I never expected that I’d actually have anything, and I don’t mind sharing half of my share with a greedy elf if that meant freedom for us and hopefully a reclaimed kingdom and a dead dragon.” Sigrael shrugged her shoulders. “Besides, how was I supposed to get my share out of the mountain anyways?”

“Well, I still think you’re mad.” Bofur said and looked up at her with big eyes.

“Because you’re a dwarf and it’s against your nature.” Sigrael laid a hand on his head and ruffled his hat.

“Hey, my hat!”

“I know.” Sigrael grinned – it could have been worse, she could have been alone in the cell.

*

Sigrael rested her head back against the wall – she had no idea if it was morning or evening, the lights inside the dungeons were all the same and she had no idea if she slept at day or night. She knew she had been sleeping for quite long at least 5 times, so maybe it was 5 days since they were captivated. On the other hand, she had no idea if she had slept for long. On top of it all, the last two days she had started to feel sick again, like the situation wasn’t bad enough already. She guessed it was the journey and the lack of food after they passed the Misty Mountains that were to blame. Not to forget the sickness of the forest and the solid doze of spider venom she had gotten. At least she shared the cell with Bofur, and that gave her hope.

She turned her head as she saw a movement in the corner of her eye – it was the female elf Kili seemed to like. A small smile curled on her lips – she hoped Thorin was unaware of that, he would never allow such a romance. The elf bent down to place some food to her and Bofur, and Sigrael decided to use the chance. She had tried to speak with some of the other elves, but they had just ignored her – but this one was paying attention, and Sigrael hoped she was a captain or someone important among the guards.

 _“What is your name?”_ she asked in sindarin.

The elf looked back at her, not able to hide her surprise. _“I didn’t expect you to speak our tongue.”_ She said with a smile and straightened up.

Sigrael got up and walked over to the bars. _“I learned it years ago as I spent a few years in Rivendell.”_ Sigrael shrugged her shoulders. _“What is your name?”_

“Tauriel.” She smiled and crossed her arms. _“And yours?”_

“Sigrael.” Sigrael said and picked up her food, starting to eat. The meal was just bread and some salad, but Sigrael was grateful for that. She handed Bofur his plate of food and he gave her a thankful nod, but remained silent – he was aware of her plan.

 _“What is a ranger doing among dwarves in Mirkwood?”_ Tauriel asked and looked down at her, but with a friendly gaze.

 _“Didn’t Thorin say that?”_ Sigrael lifted one eyebrow.

 _“He didn’t say much at all. He didn’t even confirm Thranduil’s suspicions. Instead he insulted him and said some sharp words in Khuzdul which I have no idea what they were, but considering his tone and harsh expression, it was an insult.”_ Tauriel said and sighed.

 _“I guess he’s been waiting for the chance to call Thranduil something nasty.”_ Sigrael chuckled and took a bite of her bread. _“From what I heard from Elrond, I have to admit I understand him – I know the dwarves of Erebor had it coming with such amounts of wealth, but come on; you could offer them some shelter and food?”_

 _“It was Thranduil’s decision.”_ Tauriel said, suddenly aware.

 _“Many starved or froze to death that winter, among them, children. And the dwarves are an already struggling race, more than yours. At least you have a far longer expiry date than dwarves, they live for only 250 years.”_ Sigrael lifted her eyebrows. _“My own objective evaluation gives Thorin some reasons to be bitter.”_

 _“You mentioned Elrond.”_ Tauriel said shortly.

 _“As I suspected.”_ Sigrael said and smiled shortly. _“And I guess you have already figured out who I am by now, haven’t you?”_

 _“Still, I don’t think Thranduil would be more interested in talking with you.”_ Tauriel said and looked around. _“So what are you doing here?”_

 _“I’m a Ranger – I go off and wander where I want and sometimes I find company on my way.”_ Sigrael said and handed her the now empty plate. _“I’ve travelled and traded with dwarves before, the sword you took from me I traded with a dwarf in Ered Luin 25 years ago. Solid stuff, just try the balance of it, perfect for close combat as the weight of it is a shield as well as a deadly weapon.”_

 _“So even after 6 days in the dungeon you won’t admit anything?”_ Tauriel smiled a little.

 _“I don’t have many things to tell, I’m just travelling.”_ Sigrael smiled. _“Besides, my mother taught me that I should never trust a person before I knew the colour of his heart. I don’t see yours, yet. And I’d rather talk with Thranduil in person.”_

 _“Then we’ll just wait and see.”_ Tauriel smiled and took a step back.

 _“I guess so. Greet the chef and say the bread is good!”_ Sigrael smiled and sat down.

 _“I shall.”_ Tauriel said with lifted eyebrows, still confused about this blunt Ranger.

“Progress?” Bofur asked.

“She’s got some sense.” Sigrael smirked.

*

 _“Spoken with Thranduil?”_ Sigrael asked as Tauriel walked by the next day.

 _“He’s not interested unless you could specify something for him.”_ Tauriel said and crossed her arms.

 _“The sword you took from Thorin…”_ Sigrael started.

 _“Orcrist. Made by our kin in the west.”_ Tauriel said and lifted her eyebrows.

 _“You’d like to know how a dwarf got hold of it?”_ Sigrael smiled. _“I can tell. I was there when they found it.”_

_“Stole it, I think.”_

_“No, that was what the trolls did. We happened to find the swords after turning the trolls to rock. There’s more from where it came from.”_ Sigrael shrugged her shoulders.

 _“How long have you been travelling with them?”_ Tauriel asked, looking a tad interested.

 _“Long enough to give Thranduil more than this.”_ Sigrael said with a smile. _“All of us wants to get out, don’t rely on what probably was a bit of an over-reaction due to what happened.”_

Tauriel gave Sigrael a small smile before she silently left.

“Now? Have you convinced her?” Bofur asked and walked up to her.

“Maybe. Let’s hope it was enough for Thranduil.” Sigrael smiled.

“What did you tell her?” Bofur asked her.

“I’d like to hear too!” they heard Oin and Gloin from the neighbour cell.

“That we actually didn’t steal Orcrist, but found it among what trolls had stolen, after getting rid of them. Might trigger their will to listen.” Sigrael smirked. “Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

“You think so?” Bofur asked and Sigrael sat down.

“That will tell him I know something, and if he’s using his brain, he’ll figure out I’ve been travelling with you for some time and can build the bridge for him to get some of what he wants at the same time as you’ll get what you want – your home.” Sigrael sighed.

“Sure that you can build that bridge?” Bofur asked, looking a bit nervous.

“We’ll never know if someone doesn’t try. And if you are to move back home, you can’t have this hate to your neighbours. At least I hope to get the chance to at least speak with him, though I suspect if he let me, it would be mostly for his entertainment. So I hope I can find a way to make this interesting for him.” Sigrael flicked on a stone. “My mother used to say that life isn’t about surviving the storm, but how to dance in the rain. It’s what I’m trying to do here.”

“I guess you’re right…” Bofur sighed and slid down the wall and sat beside her.

“Thorin tells you to not reveal any of the plan about the quest!” Gloin said from the neighbour cell.

“Tell him that I have put on the silver tongue and relax! I refuse to stay here any longer than necessary because of this bloody stubbornness of your race!” Sigrael groaned.

“Calm down, I’ll tell him that!” Gloin mumbled.

“And tell him that Thranduil has already figured out that we’re reclaiming the mountain, he’s not stupid!” Sigrael glared in the direction of Thorin’s cell, despite she couldn’t see him.

“Calm your hormones.” Bofur chuckled.

“Easy for you to say.” Sigrael laughed.

*

“Trolls, you say?” Thranduil asked and looked at Legolas.

“That was what she claimed, according to Tauriel. They must have found it west of the mountains then.” Legolas said.

“She must have been travelling with them for some time. She must have her own agenda by going this far east with dwarves that happen to originally belong in Erebor.” Thranduil sat down on his throne. “Fine, let me speak with her. If she can come with a deal that makes the so-called dwarf king willing to parlay, we might have something to gain.” He smiled to Legolas – he was surprised by how this had come out, but this human woman had been nagging on the guards in sindarin since the first day there and hadn’t given up in a week and was starting to bother them. Maybe he should give her a chance, he bet she was tired by now and easier to break. If not, it would at least entertain him a little.

…

“So, the Ranger wants to speak with me.” Thranduil said from the throne as Legolas stepped aside to let Sigrael speak. “Don’t you trust the leader of your company, or do you have other things on your heart?”

“I trust Thorin with my life. I just don’t see any reason to sit in that cell because you two don’t communicate as well.” she smiled to Thranduil, a polite smile with something he recognized as sarcasm. He was already amused.

“Are you implying that I don’t know how to communicate?” he asked, a small smile curled on his lips. Sigrael smiled back as she saw he had taken her challenge as he rose up from his throne and walked down to her. “How could I be king then?”

“With all respect, but you haven’t had to deal as much with dwarves as before.” Sigrael said. “Maybe 100 years or so are a short time for an elf, but it’s already 170 years since Smaug attacked Erebor, and it’s easy to forget how one used to do things, despite remembering doing them.”

“And what do you know about communicating with dwarves?” Thranduil asked as he walked up to her with an expression on his face that was hard to place. “What makes you think that you do it better than me?”

“Well, I’ve been spending a couple of weeks surrounded by them, not to mention being in the same cell as one of them, so I dare say I’ve learned much during this time. Not to mention getting to know them.” Sigrael said and was bold enough to lean against the closest pillar.

Thranduil looked down on her with surprise; it was an interesting move for someone that wanted to make a deal, but she looked more like it was a casual conversation. “So how do you know Thorin Oakenshield?”

“Quite a coincident – the wild is big, but I happened to find 13 dwarves. I have to say I was doubting at first – I heard he showed you a few faces up here, and you know how fearful he looks when giving you the eye of doubt. But I have skills as a huntsman and a healer, and they decided I could be useful, and I was looking for some work to do.” she shrugged her shoulders, enjoying how she told him as little as possible without lying.

“So, are you going to follow them to the mountain?” Thranduil asked, walking around her to take in every detail about her – something told him she was up to something and he looked for every sign of weakness.

“Depends on if we get out of here or not, and if we were to do so, it depends on if they’re tired of me or not.” She said and straightened up again, walking calmly around and taking in the place – if anything, it was beautiful in here. She crossed her arms across her chest and turned to Thranduil.

“If you’re talking in riddles all the time, I can see that you might make them… tired.” Thranduil said and lifted his eyebrows. “But I have plenty of time, so go on. I need the entertainment.”

“Finally someone who can stand my blabbering.” Sigrael grinned.

“Then you can blabber about the deal you want to make.” Thranduil said and gave Sigrael an inviting smile. “You’re not the only one that wishes to see Smaug dead.”

“And you’d rather send some lousy dwarves to their certain death instead of doing the job yourself – why am I not surprised.” Sigrael said and grinned.

“Do not forget I know the fire and wrath of dragons.” Thranduil said with a hiss.

“I know how well you know that – Elrond told me quite a few things during the years I lived in his house. That is also why I wonder why the one that knows better than anyone don’t feel like slaying a fat, old dragon.” Sigrael just shrugged her shoulders and looked him in the eyes.

“Watch your steps now.” Thranduil said low and moved dangerously close to her.

“And you’re saying that to a Ranger.” Sigrael chuckled and turned away. “But it’s ok; I have nothing to lose on trying to kill a dragon, as I have nothing else than what I’m wearing. I don’t mind – I guess Thorin has a plan anyways, but I haven’t asked him. I know just as much as you – we’re heading for the mountain, and we need to get out of here.”

“So where are you going with this?” Thranduil lifted an eyebrow to her, tilting his head a little. He had met Rangers before, but she was bold and tough, though he could see she had a pure heart – entertaining indeed. “I doubt there’s anything you can offer me, if you have as little as you say.”

Sigrael looked up at him – how disparaging was it possible to be? “I know you desire those jewels that were made for you. Just a shame that the dwarves held them back till you could pay them the price that was promised – since Smaug got inside the mountain before you got to pay them.” Sigrael studied her nails before she threw a glance at Thranduil – oh, she had his interest now, considering the way he held his breath for a moment. “I can’t guarantee anything on behalf of Thorin, but if you decided to actually help him, I think he could reward you with getting them if you asked for it. Though, I have another suggestion that might interest you – my contract with the dwarves says that if we succeed, I’m promised 1/15th of the treasure. What if you could get half of my share, if you let us out and helped us?”

“That sounds good – almost too good to be true.” Thranduil smirked. “Has it ever crossed your mind that Thorin might be so outraged by this suggestion that he will hold back your share?”

“If so, he will have to break the contract with me; which means he’ll fire me and I’m outside the company and suddenly not interesting for you anymore.” Sigrael tilted her head as she looked up at Thranduil. “And then I wonder if you’d let me out, while the rest of the dwarves are back in jail.”

“And why should I do so if Thorin fires you?” Thranduil lifted his eyebrows with a wicked smile on his lips.

“Because Elrond wouldn’t be especially happy if he found out that you kept me imprisoned for no reason.” Sigrael smiled back and enjoyed to see that Thranduil for a split second revealed that he had almost forgot Elrond while in this game of parlay.

“How can I know you are the Sigrael you claim to be?” Thranduil asked and leant so close to Sigrael that she could feel the warmth from his breath as he glared down on her – she enjoyed to see him dangerously close to a corner, though she knew he was sly enough to slide away from it at any moment and just thought of this as a game. “As most Rangers you’re so ordinary that it’s impossible to place you.”

 _“Because there aren’t many Rangers speaking sindarin, are there? If you’re in doubt, call for one of his personal servants, they all know me. Besides, do you know what Elrond’s favourite meal is? Deer steak with fresh salad, forest mushrooms, cranberries and a glass of red wine.”_ Sigrael said in sindarin and Thranduil smiled as he took a step back again. _“Good enough?”_

“It is.” He smirked and walked up to his throne again.

“I have nothing more to come with now, but you do have my suggestion: a 30th of the treasure to you and a 30th to me – if you let us free, and assist us in the slaying of Smaug. Bonus if you get your jewellery. And if Thorin refuses – well, we’ll have to wait then. But I dare asking for my freedom if Thorin decides to take me out of the company.” Sigrael said and straightened her back. “That is what I can suggest without talking with Thorin beforehand.”

“Let me think about it.” Thranduil nodded – well, still not what he had wanted, but much better than what he got out of the conversation with Thorin. “Bring her back to the dungeons.” With a last glance at Thranduil, Sigrael hoped that she had done the right thing now.

*

Something was going on as she heard the enthusiastic calls from the dwarves – did she hear the name Bilbo? She had almost given up her hopes, but now she had to fight to not laugh in joy. “Silent!” she called out, afraid the sounds and calls would call on the guard’s attention. As he unlocked her and Bofur’s door, she embraced him. “I knew we were right when trusting you.” She smiled before she stepped aside. “Up or down?”

“Down!” he said as he suddenly realized the dwarves seemed to be heading up. “Down, follow me!” he called and lead the way, the dwarves following him as silent as they could.

“You found a way out?” Sigrael asked, following just behind Bilbo.

“Yes. I just hope it works.” Bilbo whispered nervously. Soon Sigrael found them to be in the wine cellar and a plot started to form in her mind, while some of the dwarves complained about wanting to get out, not further down in the cellars. “Just get in the barrels!” Bilbo moaned. “Just trust me!” Sigrael had already found one as she looked at Bilbo – his plan was genius!

“Do as he says.” Thorin barked and the dwarves climbed into the barrels.

“What now?” Bofur asked as all of them were inside.

“Just hang on and hold your breaths.” Bilbo said and pulled a lever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just hope this didn't suck ;-;
> 
> I'll update sometime soon when the spirit comes over me again!


	13. Barrels and Bard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So finally our company makes it out of Mirkwood, Sigrael is still ill by the forest, and Bard is way clever than any of them at, well, at least one point, if not two...

Before any of them got to ask what Bilbo meant, they were all falling down and splashed into a river – Sigrael quickly poked her head up to see, and saw that none of them had gotten away dry, but at least they were out of the dungeons. “Where’s Bilbo?” she asked as she could only count 14.

In the next moment he dropped down, with no barrel, but Nori was quick to get a hold on him. “Well done Mr. Baggins.” Thorin smiled and all of them let go of their grips on rocks and stones and sailed down the river.

The ride was far more bumpy than Sigrael had expected and if she didn’t feel sick enough from before, she certainly felt so now. “Sigrael, are you okay?” Bofur called as she was leaning over the edge to throw up.

“NO!” she groaned back and washed her mouth. “I’m not very used to boats and especially not barrels!”

“Sorry!” she heard Bilbo call from where he was hanging on to Nori’s barrel and Sigrael chuckled a little.

“At least the air here is fresher than in the dungeon!” she smiled and wiped her lips.

“You bet, imagine sharing that cell with you when you were being sick!” Bofur hissed as his barrel was splashed down with water from a small waterfall.

In the next moment they heard a distant horn and as they turned forwards again, they saw a gate closing. Sigrael mumbled a string of strong curses as she was among the first to get stuck against the closed gate. “Can any of you see any weak points?” she hissed and looked around.

“No. Seems we’re stuck!” Thorin grumbled.

Then they heard something that made their hearts beat even faster – the sound of arrows. Sigrael tried to look out to see, but couldn’t see what was going on, but soon she heard – orcs. She felt naked as she knew none of them had weapons, and she felt desperation rush through her veins and she couldn’t help but smiling encouragingly as Kili seemed to have an idea, and turned forwards again as she couldn’t see him anymore, trying to figure out a good route between the rocks in the river to get as far away as fast as possible.

Her blood froze as she heard Fili calling out Kili’s name in horror, and then she saw Thorin’s face filled with fear – something had happened, and she realized from the sounds that a battle was going on. It was horrible to not see anything else than sometimes an orc corpse dropping into the river and sinking out of sight, and the two minutes it took before the gate opened felt like eternities.

They rushed down another fall, but now orcs were shooting at them while being hunted down by the elves. Sigrael had never expected their escape from Mirkwood to turn out this way, but now the adrenaline was rushing through her and her senses were sharpened. When orcs got close, she started to bolt towards them, pulling them out of balance and snapping the weapons out of their hands and tossing them around to the company. She started to sense hope that they might get away with this.

She lost count on how many times some of them barely got away from an orc alive, and Bombur had one great show, but eventually they got away as they made it to a stream so fast and ferocious that the orcs had no chance to keep up with them and those who escaped the elves had to give up the chase to get away alive. Sometime later they made it to a calmer part, and now as Sigrael stressed down, she felt the sickness creep up on her again, and she couldn’t do anything else than surrender to the will of her stomach. As it calmed down, she continued to swim with her hands to keep up. Thorin manoeuvred his barrel up to hers, looking at her with a worried face. “How long have you been sick now?”

“It began sometime after we entered the forest, I bet it’s the sickness thriving in it. I just hope it fades away soon, poor Bofur that had to share the cell with me.” Sigrael muttered.

“You even begin to look skinny, we better give you some extra if you are to keep up with us.” He said low, looking at her before he looked up to the riversides to keep an eye.

“We can make it to Laketown and rest a couple of days, we still have time for that.” Sigrael sighed, tired after some exhausting hours.

“We need to, we have nothing but what we’re wearing.” Thorin said, before spotting a good spot for landing. “We aim for the shore! To the right!” he called out, and the company did as they told, but with various success as they were cold, wet and been halfway sitting in tough positions in the barrels. 

Sigrael stumbled on her way out of the barrel as her right leg got a cramp when stretched out and landed in the water. She got up, spat out the water she got in her mouth and limped on shore. “Now, excuse me my lack of manners but there’s no privacy around here anyways.” She growled and pulled her shirt off and twisted it as hard as she could to get the water out. Dwalin and Nori chuckled by the sight, as she stood in just her breaches, boots and breast cloth and with a sour expression. As unhappy as a wet cat, she got her shirt back on, cold and moist, but at least not soaking wet. She looked to the shore, where Thorin got up from his barrel with slightly trembling legs – she couldn’t help but smile a bit at the sight, his moist clothes clinging tightly to his body and highlighting the curves of his frame and muscles.

“We need to rest for at least an hour!” Balin called.

Sigrael saw Thorin’s doubting face – he didn’t feel a bit safe and she didn’t blame him either, but they couldn’t go on until they’ve had a rest, she was sure half of them would have stumbled straight into the river again. “One hour and not a minute more.” Thorin finally muttered.

It was then Sigrael saw Kili that more crashed his butt on the rock than sitting down and with a pained face. She got up and hurried the best she could over to him. “What happened to you back there?” she asked softly as she started to examine the wound.

“Got shot, I think it was an orc arrow.” Kili groaned as just her touch was painful.

“We need to get the arrow head out as quick as possible, it could be poisoned.” Sigrael mumbled. Fili had already made a piece of cloth to tighten around his brother’s wound. “Now, just try to keep your leg calm and I’ll get it out.” She said and the moment Kili wasn’t focusing on her, she pulled the arrowhead out; Kili roared but Fili was quick to tighten the piece of cloth around the wound. “One worry less. Now we better hope it won’t get infected, but we’re not far from Laketown.” Sigrael smiled and squeezed Kili’s shoulder before she got up to wash her hands in the river.

It was as she was washing her hands she sensed the presence of somebody else, somebody that was not from the company. Sigrael turned and froze as she saw a man standing on a boulder above them with a bow and arrow ready. Dwalin reacted before anyone else and held up some sort of weapon he had grabbed from the orcs, but an arrow was fired precisely at it and a rock Kili held was shot out of his fist. Sigrael held her breath as Balin slowly stepped towards the man and started to parlay. Sigrael moved slowly over to Bofur, all the time listening to the conversation that slowly developed, revealing that the man was clearly suspicious to the dwarves since they had close to nothing and had escaped in barrels he was supposed to pick up.

While Balin tried to convince the man to help them, Bofur leant closer to Sigrael. “Why did he appear the way he did, without a word and with the bow ready? Can we know he’s friendly?”

“He is friendly. The way he approached to us just tells me that he’s cautious, most likely a father with a family to take care of.” Sigrael whispered and Bofur looked at her. “He can’t risk anything, and when the barrels didn’t show up where and when they were supposed to, I see why he pulled back the arrow.”

“How can you tell all this from so little?” Bofur asked with a small smile and lifted eyebrows.

“Body language, my dear friend. And that I know Laketown picks up the empty barrels to send them south to fill them again.” Sigrael shrugged her shoulders and at that moment heard Bard say ‘she was’. “And now we know he’s widowed…” she sighed to Bofur.

“Poor fellow…” Bofur mumbled, looking at the man with empathic eyes. “Better hope Balin finds a way out of this.”

…

“Dwalin, I swear – if you can’t say something nice for a change, you’ll have to worry more about me throwing you off this boat!” Sigrael hissed as she heard Dwalin being passive-aggressive again.

“What – don’t you see what I mean?!” Dwalin hissed to her.

“Yes, but I don’t see a reason for constantly hissing about it when you think nobody hears you!” she glared back. “So I’m warning you – one more word, and you’ll have to swim to Laketown!” the two of them stared each other in their eyes as a silent battle of dominance, but Sigrael had just had enough and refused to give up.

“Both – keep quiet!” Thorin snapped and glared at both of them. “Dwalin, stop grumbling, and Sigrael – don’t throw anyone at the lake…”

“If he keeps quiet you won’t have to worry about that.” Sigrael sighed and got up while Dwalin turned his back to them.

Thorin took her hand and she froze – it was the first time he’d touch her for weeks and by some reason, she immediately calmed down and relaxed. “Sigrael…” he whispered and she turned her face and looked him in his eyes. “Hopefully we’ll get somewhere warm and safe to sleep tonight, so no need to be so stressed now.” He said low and squeezed her hand gently, care and tenderness in his eyes.

She smiled back, a small smile, and squeezed carefully back before she let go of his hand and walked over to where the man was standing. “So why is it that a human woman is following this group of grumpy dwarves?” he asked after a moment.

“As Balin said, we’re heading for the Iron Hills, and I myself have a few businesses there so I joined them. Safer than going all that way alone, even though I’m a Ranger.” She smiled to him. “And if you noticed, I’m grumpy as well – going through Mirkwood wasn’t a joyride to put it that way.”

“At least you’re smiling, that’s more than the rest here is doing.” The man said and lifted his eyebrows.

“One thing I’ve learned after travelling with this group for several months, is that they are reserved towards those they don’t know. Besides, as you pointed out with the barrels and such, water isn’t the dwarves’ natural habitat.” Sigrael said, noticing her nausea coming back. “Mentioning that…” she mumbled and leaned over the reeling, not even trying to hold back. Not much except from some water came up and she was tired of it. As she wiped her mouth and got up again, she noticed how hungry she was. Damned she was tired of this now.

“You’re not well?” the man asked.

“No, think I must have mistaken some berries while going through Mirkwood, it should be over soon. It’s lasted for 3 weeks now, so I really hope I’m done soon.” She sighed. “What’s your name?”

“Bard.” He said and looked at her. “Yours then?”

“Sigrael.” She smiled before she closed her eyes for a moment.

Bard looked closely at her; she wasn’t wearing much and her clothes were still moist, so he could see she was a fit woman with little extra to go on, but since she was a Ranger it didn’t surprise him. What surprised him, was that despite the fact that she had been sick for weeks, her curves around her hips was still there, and she seemed to still have a solid front. It was something he recognized from the times his wife had been pregnant, and he felt a sudden worry for this woman he hardly knew – if she was pregnant and had been through that forest, she needed rest and care. He thought that since he couldn’t see any growing belly though, it had to be very early in the pregnancy, if she was pregnant, but she had been travelling with these dwarves for months? He looked over the boat, wondering what had really been going on. His eyes rested on the dwarf that claimed to be the leader of this company, a full grown dwarf with long, dark hair with silver stripes – this Sigrael had been sitting with him before she go  
t up to join him instead, but before that happened, he had spotted a moment of something… Tender.

He looked at Sigrael again, seeing that she was looking ahead and relaxing right now. He couldn’t help but thinking that she was indeed beautiful, though he would see her gaining some more weight at the moment. He wanted to ask her if he was right, but he wasn’t sure that she had realized it herself – the first time his wife had been pregnant she realize it before her belly started to grow, even though he had been suspecting it for over a month already.

“What is it Bard?” Sigrael suddenly asked.

“N-nothing.” He said and looked ahead instead. “I was just… remembering.” He mumbled and sighed.

*

“Oh this is just glorious!” Sigrael moaned as she got up from the barrel with fish and stumbled up on the wooden street. People were looking at them and Bard said something to some of them, and most of them looked away. A woman looked at Sigrael, got eye contact with her and then fidgeted with some hair. Sigrael did the same and noticed a small fish that were stuck in it. “Oh…” she mumbled and got it out, her face blushing more than it already did, and she smiled to the woman before she hurried to not lose the company.

She noticed a series of small things happening, and she understood what Bard meant with the fact that they were being watched. How he had planned that he could get them in without being noticed, was beyond her imagination. It was then he looked at them again, a serious face that revealed he in fact was a bit nervous about their reaction. “Now, your clothes are already wet and now smelly as well, so I really hope that you don’t mind getting in the water again.” Bard said low.

“Tell us what to do.” Sigrael said before any of the dwarves got to protest.

“Get in the water, and follow this line of houses as silent as you can, down to the last. With the boat there.” Bard pointed.

“Got it.” Sigrael said and prepared to get down in the water. “Are you coming?” she said and looked at the dwarves, which looked rather perplexed.

“What other choice do we have?” Fili said and got in the water.

“None.” Sigrael said and followed his example – the water was freezing, her skin felt like it was burning, but she knew it had to be done. The other dwarves grumbled and some of them, like Dwalin, looked furious, but the rest did as they were told. Sigrael quickly took the leading as she was 100% sure what house Bard had pointed out to her, and the dwarves followed as silently as they could – sometimes they had to swim but mostly there was something to hang on to and soon they were waiting under the house.

“And what now?” Dori asked, his teeth clattering.

“We’ll have to wait to get up, but hopefully not for long.” Sigrael said, studying the roof above them.

“And how?” Ori asked, freezing just as much as his brother.

“Through the toilet, I guess.” Sigrael said and nodded upwards.

Several of the dwarves protested, but Thorin took the word. “If that’s how you think of, remember that this kind of toilet makes the entire lake a toilet. Be silent!” he barked and the dwarves silenced.

Fortunately it didn’t take more than a minute before a boy opened the toilet and peeked down at them. Dwalin was quick to get up, and Sigrael sighed and hoped that the poor boy wouldn’t be traumatized by Dwalin’s attitude. Soon they got up, and met the two daughters, that were very excited by having a company of dwarves coming up from their toilet, having ideas that it would bring them luck.

Thankfully Bard provided them with some dry clothes and some little food, and Sigrael found a couch to rest on, for the first time in weeks actually relaxing, and she fell asleep for a while. She didn’t notice young Sigrid laying a blanket over her and placing a pillow under her face, but she slept good while it lasted.

She woke up sometime later because she heard raised voices – it seemed like they argued over the weapons Bard provided them with. She got up and watched; much was home-made and not the works of blacksmith, but she saw the value in them, they could be used for a lot. As a Ranger she was used to not have the access to all that is wanted and therefore making the best out of what they had. The argument ended with the dwarves deciding to break in to the city’s storage to get better weapons, and Sigrael sighed in disappointment.

After some time, Bard left them, obviously in a bad mood, but told them that they couldn’t go anywhere until night-time, but Sigrael was glad for that – she needed her rest anyways.

It was then she heard the plan the dwarves were plotting – they would use the chance they had now to sneak out and find the weaponry they needed. As Thorin was about to leave, she stopped him by the door. “A little gratitude should be shown. He doesn’t have much and has risked much to help you. And honestly, what did you expect?” she whispered and looked at him with a confused and disappointed face.

“Nothing has turned out the way we hoped, Sigrael.” Thorin whispered back. “We really need something better if we are to make it.”

“You could have done a lot with these. The best swords you can get or make won’t slay a dragon that old and big! You need brains to do that!” she begged, having a bad feeling about this. “Don’t become criminals now! How do you want to explain that if you succeed? ‘Oh by the way, we stole our weapons from you, master of Laketown, I hope it wasn’t bothering you too much!’ Really?”

“I do what I have to. I’ll deal with that later.” Thorin sighed and laid a hand on her neck. “Are you coming with me?”

“Come and pick me up when you’re done. I’d rather stay here and rest for a while, Sigrid’s making tea and I think I need it.” Sigrael sighed. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine.” Thorin said and smiled a little, before he caressed her neck and jaw with his thumb and left.

…

“You seem to be the only one with your senses more or less in balance.” Bard said as Sigrid filled two cups of tea for them before she went to the living room to sit with her sister and brother. He and Sigrael was sitting by the table and chatting lowly after he returned, obviously stressed about something. As she had explained the dwarves’ plan about trying to get some better weapons, he agreed to just sit down and let them have it their way and see how the result would be. Now Sigrael was chuckling because of his statement.

“Well, I’ve already nearly had myself beheaded as I confronted Thorin in a rather rude way.” She chuckled and took her cup of tea between her hands and gently blew on the surface before she took a careful sip of it. “Or well, I’m sure that if I had walked into Ered Luin and spoken to him in that way, some guard would have done it. You don’t speak to a dwarf lord in that way.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Bard said with lifted eyebrows and leant back in the chair. “But there is one thing I have to ask about. That sickness of yours.” He said and Sigrael looked up at him, her guts twisting around in her belly. “Eating bad berries should have made you sick for a few days, not several weeks. Have you had any chance to check it out?” he asked, and to her surprise, he looked worried about her, not disgusted or afraid.

“I’m not even sure how many days it is since I ate those berries, I lost completely track of time in there.” She sighed. “It could actually be just a week for all I know.”

“How was the moon last time you looked at it?” Bard asked, hoping to get a clue on how long it was since she last saw it.

“Almost full. The evening before we entered the forest.” She said and picked another fish shell out of her hair – she would need a bath soon.

“That is either 5 weeks ago or 6 days, and you don’t use 6 days to get through Mirkwood without guidance from the elves.” Bard said and looked at her. “Another thing I noticed, is that you look rather skinny, but you have somehow kept your curves around your hips and breasts. I don’t think it is an illness…”

Sigrael’s belly sank as a list of options was erased and she was left with just a few, and one of them terrified her. “So tell me what you think it is…”

“I think you’re expecting a child.” Bard said, quite plain and simple to not scare her too much. “I can’t tell for how long you’ve been expecting, but it’s still early, so you still have time to prepare.”

Sigrael felt her entire being tremble and she wasn’t able to focus her view – how could she have ignored that fact? Her mind even tried to warn her back then, but she had ignored it, and now she found herself being told so by a man that had just observed her and obviously recognized the small signs from the time his own children were brought to this world. She buried her face in her hands and let a long moan out, trying to realize that she was pregnant, and that with Thorin.

‘Oh dear, what will he say…’ she thought, trying to swallow a lump in her throat, now resting her chin on her trembling hand, looking into nothing.

“I haven’t been bleeding for two months, so…” she mumbled, mostly to herself. “I thought I lost the bleeding because of scarce and simple food during the journey…”

“Did it happen after you set out on the journey?” Bard asked, his suspicions close to confirmed. “Were there others in the company or?”

“I-I’m not… Well…” She started but couldn’t finish – she didn’t feel like talking about it.

“My wife gave birth to three children before she died. When pregnant, she avoided alcohol, and tried to eat much vegetables.” He said to change the subject a little bit.

“I know those things, I’m a healer.” She said, but felt embarrassed that she hadn’t figured out that herself.

As he had read her thoughts, he just smiled simply to her. “Mirkwood is a scary place, I don’t blame you for not understand at first.”

“I know…” she sighed.

Then she heard hurried steps coming towards the room they were sitting in, and in the next moment Bain entered it, looking at them with stressed eyes. “It’s the dwarves, Dad! They’ve caught them!”

“Just as I expected…” Bard said and got up – which was the reason he hadn’t stressed after his discovery which he yet hadn’t told Sigrael.

“Oh great…” Sigrael mumbled and followed Bard out. “So, you are going to watch them being jailed and whipped or what?” she asked as she trotted down the stairs after him.

“No, I will have to stop you.” Bard said and headed in the right direction.

“You don’t think they will be now as they will be jailed?” Sigrael asked with sarcasm.

Bard turned around and looked down on her. “I found out who this Thorin is. If he tells and promises all the wealth to be shared, you will be free to continue, but that will lead to a certain disaster.” Sigrael stared back at him, suddenly wondering if it was clever to trust him at all. “There is a prophecy; _The Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, the King Beneath the Mountain, shall come into his own. And the bells shall ring in gladness, at the Mountain King's return, But all shall fail in sadness, and the Lake will shine and burn._ This is what you will bring if you go to that mountain.” Bard said and turned to continue, and left Sigrael standing there for a moment with a lump in her throat, thinking that she had been wrong so far – this was the worst day of the quest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear gods I'm so sorry I have taken so long time to get this chapter written, but I suddenly had an extra week at school, I had other things that took my time, I was sick for a week and life was being a little bitch. But things are ok now, it's just that I don't remember lines anymore so Sigrael has to stay a bit in the background. And that the whole chapter seems to be very hasty, gah... But next chapter will be better, since I then go a bit more bookverse, so have patience with me!
> 
> And thanks a lot for all the kudos I've got, I never expected to get so many! Love to all of you! <3


	14. a Night to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So finally I give them the break they need. Or maybe not a break, depends on your definition.
> 
> This chapter turned out way longer than I planned, but on the other hand, I finally bring you some more smut, so I hope you can forgive me :'D Oh glorious smut! Oh my, a long time since I wrote smut, damn good to do it again! :3

Sigrael ran just behind Bard and noticed that many people were going in the same direction as them, and she sighed as she feared this would turn out as a mess beyond imagination. When they made it to the house of the Master of Laketown, many people had already gathered there with the company in the middle so they had to face the Mater himself. Bard made his way to the crowd that was already listening to something that sounded like Thorin giving a speech. To Sigrael this was a relief but considering how Bard paced up, bad news was coming.

Sigrael felt so ambivalent right now; she had found many things about Bard that she liked, but her loyalty belonged to Thorin and she knew whom she would choose. Bard stepped out but the guards stopped her. “Hey I’m a part of the company!” she hissed but they just looked at her with doubting eyes – why would they let Bard step out? There were many things she had never understood about Laketown the times she had been there before, and this was one of them. Damned local politics.

She finally managed to pick up what was said as Bard spoke after warning the people to not listen to Thorin, reminding them of the last part of the prophecy. “If you awaken that beast, it will destroy us all.” He then said, looking straight at Thorin.

It was then Thorin surprised her by promising the inhabitants of Esgaroth to take a share of the wealth of Erebor, to rebuild the city to its former glory multiple times, if they succeeded. She looked up to the Master of Laketown and could see his pleased smile and she knew Thorin had his support already. Bard begged the people to listen to him, but in vain. He tried to remind them of what they had lost before because of the blind ambitions of a Mountain King. She saw Thorin react to that statement, and Sigrael sighed – she knew Bard was right, so did Thorin. And she knew he feared to fall under the same sickness, so Bard’s statement hit into the very core of Thorin.

“You have no right to enter that mountain.” Bard finally said, desperately hoping to change Thorin’s mind, but in vain – when a dwarf had decided to do something, there was little that could change his mind. Sigrael had learned that, not even she could change Thorin’s will in this.

“I have the only right.” Thorin spoke back before he spotted Sigrael in the crowd, just behind the company but held back by the guards. “Guards, the Ranger you are holding back there – she’s a part of my company and I don’t like seeing her separated from them.” He said calmly and the guards stepped aside to let her walk up to the rest of the dwarves. For a moment, the many pairs of eyes were rested upon her – a young, female Ranger in the company of dwarves.

“If you help us so we can reclaim our mountain, we can all take share in the wealth of Erebor.” Thorin said and began a speech that sent shivers down Sigrael’s spine – as he spoke, she saw a fire brighten in his eyes, a longing stronger than she had seen and hope. As she looked around, she saw that the people were mesmerized, seduced, by his hopes and promises – and she could understand why. Many of them seemed to have given up hope of ever seeing the town in all its glory.

As Thorin finished his speech, he looked the Master in his eyes. The Master seemed to like what he heard; promises of wealth, all he cared for. Sigrael didn’t like his look though; she had seen it before, and there was no secret that the race of men could be as greedy as what they claimed the dwarves to be. But if that could help them to Erebor, Thorin’s promises could come true and that would bring hope – something this town needed. She looked at Bard; he looked frightened and desperate, and as the Master gave his words to Thorin, Bard left – Sigrael felt like cheering out with the crowd, but all she could do was to give a small smile, having a feeling that Bard maybe was right. They would need a careful plan, and now they at least had some days to rest and plan – she felt that she owed Bard that much after all the help he gave them without even a proper thank you.

*

Sigrael saw Thorin finishing a conversation with the Master’s assistant before he entered the house they were allowed to stay in, and she walked up to meet him. “You did great out there, Thorin.” She smiled to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. “And I’m glad you have sorted out so that we’ll have all we need within a week. This is better than what I hoped for.”

“I did what I had to.” He smiled and laid a hand on hers, looking her in her eyes. “And now you can get some well-earned rest.”

Again she felt the tingling feeling in her chest, and she couldn’t stop a smile as he led her to a more secluded place. “Thorin, what are you…” she whispered.

“I was worried for you all the time we were separated…” he said low and looked up and down her body. “Especially when you were ill. If you knew how horrible I felt when I was sitting several cells away and could only hear a low whispering between the others to tell me how you were doing.”

“We got out from there, that is the most important now. Bard and his children took good care of me, no need to worry. Despite that he has a very complete opinion about this quest, he is a good man, and I have only good words about his care while I waited for you.” She smiled to him.

“I don’t doubt that.” He said and caressed her cheek. “Were you sick all that time in the dungeons?” Thorin asked.

“I’ve felt this way since a few days after we entered Mirkwood.” She said and swallowed a lump in her throat. Should she tell him or not? He had the right to know, she knew that, and it settled that question, but it bred two other ones; how and when? “I’ll be fine, it will pass.” She stuttered.

“Are you sure?” Thorin asked, looking worried for her.

“It will…” she said and prepared herself to tell him.

And it was just then Fili and Kili showed up. “Ah, we just wondered if you were okay.” Fili smiled and looked at Thorin.

“Sure. Everything’s okay with the company?” Thorin asked his nephews, his face calmer than in a long time now as they had shelter, food and would be provided with what they needed.

“Yeah, some have gone to sleep for a while, the others are relaxing, preparing for the feast. We just wanted to make sure nothing had happened to you.” Kili said and smiled a little, that kind smile that always made Sigrael smile as well – he was one of the kindest dwarves she had met, that was for sure. Young, joking, easy to be around and caring; just like his brother.

“Good.” Thorin smiled and then looked at Sigrael before he looked at his nephews again. “We’re fine, I myself has ordered a warm bath after an hour of sleep. And Kili – be careful with your leg.”

“Sure.” Kili smiled and turned to walk with Fili, with a last look at Sigrael. She noticed and looked at Thorin as they were gone, something dawning on her. “Tell me, that was what it all was about?” He lifted his brows to her, silently asking her to continue. “Kili – you believed he’s warm on me, right?”

“Well, yes.” Thorin sighed and looked down on the floor before he looked at her, knowing she wanted an explanation, still after all this time, and that this most likely would be the best time to do so. “For being a dwarf, he’s very young, and the reason I bring Fili and Kili with, is that they are young and strong, but most of all – they will grow on this quest, it will be an important step for them to become proper men of our race. But I feared that they might be distracted, and for a while, I thought Kili actually had fallen for you and that was also the reason I was doubting about bringing you with – you are young and beautiful, and just a little bit taller than most of the company, so you don’t have the same… Height issue as most women of your race…” He said and smiled a little. “I even had a proper talk with him in Rivendell, but I have realized I was wrong – he just considers you as a friend and you have things in common. Of course he would hang around you, and I think he even looks up to you because of  
your wisdom and knowledge.”

“So, it’s all about what they can gain on this quest?” She said and lifted her eyebrows, finally understanding a few events of the journey.

“Yes. A dwarf that young still hasn’t got the berserker* in him under control and needs to challenge it to gain the true power and strength a dwarf has in him. To do that, they need to keep their mind cool and sharp under any circumstance.” Thorin said and shifted his weight to one foot, looking at her with a calm face. "Both Fili and Kili is almost there, but I still think they have something more to gain. The good thing that they're almost at the same age; they can do this together."

“So… This little grumbling between you in Khuzdul, back in Rivendell…” she said and looked to the floor, a bit embarrassed that she had caused them so much frustration.

“…is nothing more to think about; now you know.” Thorin smiled to her.

“Thank you, Thorin.” She smiled and laughed a little. “Well, good, would be sad if it affected the company, especially when you and I-“ she started and stopped as she realized what she was about to say.

“I?” Thorin asked and lifted his eyebrows to her.

“I-I didn’t mean it like… if we” she started and then stared at him as she knew the battle was lost already – Thorin had got what she actually was about to say. “You know, how awkward things would be because… Like things haven’t been messy enough.” She added the last with a laugh. “I don’t even understand what is going on here!”

Instead of breaking out in laughter or look at her with a disappointed face, Thorin closed the distance between them with one step and cupped her face with one hand and kissed her passionately. The other hand pulled her closer to him and she could only think it felt perfect, like they were shaped to fulfil each other perfectly. “This is what is going on.” Thorin murmured in her ear, just holding her close.

She let a hand bury itself in his hair and enjoyed the soft texture of it – she had never thought about how wonderful it felt as it slipped smoothly between her fingers. The other hand slipped under his shirt and rested on his back – she had no special intensions with it, she just wanted to feel the warmth from his skin against her palm. She just wanted to enjoy this moment – she hadn’t expected Thorin to be this glad to be alone with her again, but it was indeed a positive surprise. She closed her eyes, thinking that she needed something positive after the unknown number of days in jail and the dreadful journey through Mirkwood, and tears suddenly welled up in her eyes and a sob tried to force its way up her throat.

“Sigrael, what is it?” Thorin asked kindly, a hand gently caressing her back as to soothe her.

“I’ve… I’ve just been so worried.” She sobbed, telling at least some of the truth – she wasn’t prepared to tell him yet, the moment of courage was lost. “Just the desperation I felt in jail, I thought I would handle it better, but I started to get worried about everything in there, and what they would be willing to do to you.”

“Sh, sh… It’s okay now, we’re all here, everyone in one piece, just bruised and battered.” Thorin said softly and held her a bit tighter.

“I know, it’s just… all these feelings…” she smiled and was about to wipe her tears away, but Thorin took one small step back and looked at her with kind and caring eyes and carefully wiped them away himself. “You must feel embarrassed now.” She laughed and smiled.

“No, I’m glad to see that you show such care about us.” Thorin smiled and caressed her cheek. “I have a suggestion – we both are tired and need rest. What if we go and do so for an hour or two?”

“Sounds like a fair plan to me.” She smiled and he took her hand and guided her upstairs. She had expected him to show her to her own room, but instead he led her to his own. He closed the door and undressed, not saying a word, and she walked up to the bed and slowly got her shirt off, still a bit uncertain.

“No need to be shy.” She heard Thorin say as she pulled the shirt over her head. She smiled by the comment and got the rest of her clothes off as well and carefully slid under the duvet to join him. It was warm and soft, and the feeling of his skin against her made a long and pleased sigh to slip from her. Thorin chuckled by her reaction and held her tighter. “If you don’t mind, I’d love to share this bed with you until we depart.”

“I don’t mind at all…” she yawned, the softness of the bed reminding her of how tired she was and she drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

*

Sigrael had to admit that she had missed the taste of proper bread with some salted meat –after the feast that was arranged for them, a good party was started and the merry mood quickly settled on her. Both she and Thorin had a bath before they joined the feast and she was grateful for that. That, and how teasing the bath had been, she knew that she wouldn’t get any sleep tonight before they’ve had their way with each other. She didn’t drink both because of her own knowledge, Bard’s advice and the fact that if she was to keep up with the way some of the dwarves drank, she would wish herself dead the next day. She stayed to some water and tea sweetened with honey, that was more than enough for her right now, and if anything, the others still believed her to be ill and didn’t even dare to offer her something else than the tea.

People were singing and playing on instruments, some were dancing and the dwarves soon joined in for the fun. Fili and Bofur had found a proper table to dance on, singing drinking songs while they grabbed a hold of each other and twirled around, jumping and kicking with their legs.

Sigrael stood by the wall and watched at first, enjoying her tea brewed on some of the local herbs, Fili and Bofur dancing, Nori finding instruments for the others before, surprisingly enough, Dwalin joined the dancing, while Thorin still sat by another table, looking rather chilled. She wondered how that was possible, as Bofur suddenly grabbed her tea, took the last sip of it and then pulled her over to the table where the dancing was being held. “Just to get ya over here now!” he smiled as she wondered why he took her tea. “Instrument?”

“Flute, different horns, some guitar**, drum-“ she stuttered and then he pushed a drum in her hands.

“Then drum it is!” he laughed and jumped up on the table.

She soon found the rhythm and it didn’t take long before her legs started to dance as well. Fili noticed and suddenly pulled her up on the table. “You know a song?” he laughed while they danced to the music.

“Heard ‘Never Drinking My Ale Alone Again’ before?” she asked as that was the first drinking song she could come up with.

“That one’s great! Come on!” Fili shouted, and suddenly she found herself singing with all the power of her lungs while dancing around and beating on the drum with Fili dancing around her and singing loudly along as well. It felt like time stood still, it was only joy and laughter around her. She admired how the dwarves danced so easily with their heavy boots, not to mention that it seemed like they could go on forever.

After a while, they took a short break to get something to drink. “Oh come on, he’s still sitting there!” Fili sighed and looked at Thorin, who was chatting with Bilbo and a few men. Bilbo seemed to be really interested in what the men could tell him, but she didn’t blame the little hobbit – he had never been outside the Shire before. Thorin, on the other hand…

“Does he play any instrument?” Sigrael asked after downing her mead.

“Well, a bit drums, he’s good on flute and harp though, but he’s always been more of a singer.” Kili shrugged his shoulders from the floor, where he had been busy playing a fiddle. “I think we should get him over here, it’s healthy to dance!”

“Yeah!” Fili smiled and grabbed Sigrael’s arm. “You come with us and charm him with your smile!”

“And you think that will work?” she laughed and rested her arms around the shoulders of the two young dwarves.

“Yes!” both of them said and headed towards Thorin. “You come with us!” Kili said and pulled Thorin up by his shoulders while Sigrael did as she was told, putting on her most charming smile.

“Whoa, easy boys!” Thorin smiled to them.

“We’re not boys.” Fili frowned to him.

“Me neither” Sigrael said and made them all laugh. “Though, you did say once that I’m one of the boys now.”

“Anyways, we think you should get your ass over to the party table and have some fun, shake a little! It will do good for your tensed muscles!” Fili smiled as he and his brother grabbed an arm each and Sigrael put her hands on his back and they got him over to the table, where Fili immediately continued while Kili found some beer. Thorin stood there and laughed, seeing that Bofur had gotten a few local girls on the table as well, and they seemed to enjoy the attention of the dwarves.

“Come on!” Sigrael smiled and reached out a hand for him.

“Smile, Sigrael, smile!” Fili laughed from the table, and she put up her cutest and most expecting smile, making the two brothers grin.

“I’m not sure, I think I’m too old for this” Thorin smiled to her.

“No you’re not, just look at Dwalin!” she teased back and walked up to him and whispered. “If you can dance intimately with me, you’re not too old to have a decent dance.” As she finished the sentence, she placed a kiss on his cheek before she stepped back and smiled wickedly at him.

He stood there and stared at her for a moment, before he chuckled and looked at her with a playful smile. “Fine, you asked for it.”

Sigrael grinned and jumped up on the table and he quickly followed with a jump so smooth that he surprised her – oh, he still remembered younger days without worries. Soon he was dancing just as much as them, showing that he had not forgotten the days of his youth when he used to be the first one getting on the table.

“What did you say to him?” Fili asked her while they grabbed each other’s arm and danced around.

“Oh, just reminding the cow that she used to be calf.” Sigrael smiled to him.

“Must have been the kiss on his cheek, naughty girl!” Fili laughed and Sigrael smiled as well, thinking he should be glad to not know what other places her lips been.

She had no idea for how long she had been dancing around with the dwarves when she noticed a slight change in the melody being played; from a merry drinking song till a traditional dancing song with a lively beat and she couldn’t help but smile widely – she loved those songs as well.

She suddenly felt a hand on her back pulling her close and she found herself in Thorin’s arms. He lifted his brows to her, waiting for her response, and she put her hand on his shoulder and he grabbed her other hand, taking lead of a lively dance for two. “I can’t remember last time I danced this one, I hardly remember the steps!” She smiled to him, letting him take the lead.

“Just follow me then.” He smiled and she realized he had decided to convince them, once and for all, that he still remembered the art of dancing, because he really did – for those minutes it lasted, he showed off his talent while they got closer and closer before the song ended and he surprised her by throwing her over his shoulder and jumping down from the table.

“Hey Thorin, what are you doing?!” she laughed from where she hung down his back, causing a lot of laughter among the company, and most of them, Bilbo – he looked like he had problems breathing by Thorin’s move and Sigrael’s face. Obviously the young hobbit had been introduced to the ale of Laketown as well.

“We need more mead if we’re going to keep dancing tonight!” he smiled and headed for where they had been sitting.

“I stay to the tea, thanks!” she giggled from where she hung on his shoulder, with blushing cheeks as she admired his strength – it was like she was an easy load for him to carry.

“Fine, I’ll have mead.” Thorin said and grabbed a mug and found more tea for her. “For tonight!” he smiled and handed her a large cup of tea.

“For tonight!” she smiled back.

*

“I can’t remember to have ever seen you in a mood this good before.” Sigrael giggled as Thorin closed the door behind them and playfully kissed her neck.

“Are you surprised? First Bilbo got us out from those bloody dungeons, then we got smuggled inside Laketown and now we’re treated well, fed and some of us even drunk. And we’ll get everything we need to get to the Lonely Mountain!” Thorin smiled to her. “And the best thing is that I get to share this room with you.”

“Before I lose myself completely to the moment – are you happy for that after all the mead and ale you were drinking, or are there other reasons?” Sigrael smiled and pulled a hand through his hair.

“I didn’t drink that much. There are other reasons.” Thorin said and rested his forehead against hers. “And I think you already know what it is. It is because I love you, Sigrael, and I have done so for a long time now. In the dungeons there was one thing that kept me from going mad, and that was the thought of you; your beauty and your smile, how brave and strong you are, our moments together and how much you mean to me.” He said low and then looked her in her eyes with a warm smile.

“I used to feel lonely and with nothing more to care of than my own wellbeing and those I travel with, but now as I have met you, I find myself thinking of one special all the time.” She smiled and caressed his cheek. “You have changed me Thorin, to something better.”

“And so have you done to me.” He smiled and cupped her face. “During all those years, I have grown harder and colder, but you make me smile and laugh again. Slowly I have transformed to a cold war engine, only longing for revenge upon Smaug and reclaim what my forefathers lost and failed, just to regain the honour and give my people our land back, but you have made me see what really matters. I have become warm again. Now it’s more important to do this for my people, not anymore for the honour of Durin’s line or the gold and the revenge; as long as Erebor is out of Smaug’s claws and dwarves once again live there, I am happy. And you are the one to thank.” Thorin smiled warmly and caressed her cheek. “I love you, Sigrael.”

“And I love you, Thorin.” She whispered back.

Sigrael closed the distance between them with a kiss – the relief to finally have heard these words and to have said them herself, was unbelievable and filled her with a feeling of euphoria. They both were exploring and it didn’t take long before their tongues danced together and hands had started to adventure the other’s body, just as curious and excited like last time. Thorin led her over to the bed and started to undress her, and he was more than willing when she started to pull his trousers down.

As she laid there naked, he pushed her back on the bed as he laid above her, kissing her neck and slowly working his way down; from there he caressed her breasts, with both hands and lips and made her moan by his touch. He kissed down her belly, tasting her skin and enjoyed the soft touch of it, before he came down to her thighs. He caressed them up and down, driving her crazy with his teasing touch, before he kissed them again, working his way up, placing gentle bites here and there and made her gasp. She arched her back, whispered words he didn’t get but guessed what they were, and as he finally reached her warm south, she let a long moan out. She met his moves as his tongue found her clit – he teased her, switching between light and quick moves till slow ones with more pressure before sucking it gently to make her even more sensitive. Then he moved a little bit, letting his tongue slide down between the two delicate lips and push it inside her, making her beg for more. She tasted so wonderful, he thrusted  
his tongue in and out a few times before he focused on the clit again, and she started whispering his name as a finger slipped inside her where the tongue had been just moments before.

He knew this art, to bring a woman pleasure; she sat up a little so she rested her weight on her elbows, short of breath as he was taking her there – she was beautiful with the blushing cheeks, the passionate expression on her face as the sensation built up and he pushed in one more finger. Then it hit her, powerful and wild and he sat up, still with the fingers inside her and let the thumb rub her clit, kissing her greedily to strangle her loudest moans while the orgasm raged within her body. She embraced him, pushed him to her breasts and he hungrily sucked on to a nipple, biting it as the last spasms of her orgasm rushed through her and she dropped down on the bed again.

As she calmed down, she opened her eyes again and looked him in his eyes; he was hungry for more and silently demanded her to lie where she was by gently laying a hand on her chest. She willingly spread her legs for him and he sat between them, his hands wandering up and down her thighs and she pushed her hips against him to tell him to enter her.

And so he did, without doubting; he grabbed her hips and almost lifted her onto him, slowly letting the shaft penetrate her and sinking to her depths, gasping for air as her wetness surrounded him. Then he started to thrust, slowly and calm at first before he started to thrust harder and faster. He let his hands slide up along her waist and down again, before grabbing her legs and placing them on his shoulders – she gasped as he went straight to the bottom, but she loved the sweet pain it gave her. He leant back with his eyes closed, enjoying every moment of their bodies moving – when he opened his eyes to look at her, she laid there with her eyes closed, mouth slightly open and her breasts moved with their pace, making a perfect image of a very intimate dance he knew he wouldn’t forget. He wouldn’t do it with anyone else ever again; she was the one he had been hoping to find.

She then opened her eyes, smiled to him and sat up a little and he let her legs go as he laid down over her, kissing her lips before he began to fuck her with slow and hard thrusts instead. She met his moves, allowing him to go all the way in and he almost howled in pleasure.

She then told him to roll over on his back, and as he did, she quickly took control of it and started to ride him; he was amazed by how she moved her hips, letting him feel every part of her sweet cave. She changed both pace and strength several times just to tease him, and it worked; she was driving him crazy.

As he thought he couldn’t get more desperate, she climbed off him and pushed him back on the bed, kissing him passionately before she kissed her way down his body; her hands caressed his furry chest, she bit his nipples, made him gasp loudly, before she continued her journey down his body. Finally she reached down to his cock, and as she finally took the cock in her mouth after teasing the tip of it for a long minute, he moaned even louder. And just as quick, she let it go, kissing her way up to his lips with a teasing smile.

“Please Sigrael, I’m so close, so close…” he whispered desperately against her lips as she cupped his face, his cock almost aching as he was so hard and was just moments from coming. For a moment that in reality was only 2 seconds but felt like an eternity, she looked him in his eyes, still cupping his face; she couldn’t believe the beauty she was looking upon, his hair roughed with fringes of it hanging in front of his face, his face moist by sweat, the desperate look in his eyes begging her to fulfil it – something about it all was just beautiful.

“Let me taste you.” She whispered and kissed her way down his neck and chest.

“So suck me off now.” He growled, every nerve in his body tingling by her kisses on his body.

She then took his cock in her mouth again and she had barely slid it up and down a few times before his body tensed as he fired off his load, the pleasure spreading through him like boiling water. His hands pulled through her hair and down her back while he bucked his hips against her, his nails scratching her skin.

Then it faded away, leaving him dizzy and pleased as she sneaked up to him, placing soft kisses on his neck and kissing his lips gently before she looked at him with a naughty smile. “Salty.”

“When I first saw you, I didn’t imagine such words slipping from your lips.” He said with a smile, his voice a bit hoarse after the act.

“And I didn’t imagine you as such a wild beast with such stamina either.” She teased him back.

“What did you imagine then?” he lifted one eyebrow and pulled her closer with one arm.

“A rough dwarf fucking hard and fast and turning away to sleep when he was done.” She said and cuddled his sensitive body.

Thorin laughed warm and heartily and pulled the quilt over them, before he looked at her with warm eyes and smiled. “Then I’d say I was the most realistic one here; I believed you were a cuddly person.”

“I am!” she said and laid her arm around his chest. “It’s just that I do more than cuddling.”

“My point, dear.” He said and let a hand caress her face before he whispered to her. “You’re amazing.”

“So are you” she whispered and kissed him.

“I hope you don’t have plans about leaving this bed soon.” He smiled and caressed her cheek.

“I had hoped we could share this room the days we are staying here.” She grinned to him.

“That was my plan too.” He chuckled while his hands caressed her back and twinned some locks of her hair between his fingers. “But then there is one last thing; the others will know, and I feel that it would be unfair to keep it away from them, when we’re such a small company and so close.”

“So let them know.” Sigrael said and simply shrugged her shoulder. “A miracle they haven’t figured out you’ve humped me twice before we made it to Laketown.”

Thorin laughed by her point, before he grinned back. “And now, again. Well, somehow we’ll find a way to tell them tomorrow. Maybe as simple as casually mention you spent the night here.”

“It’s not a big deal to just share a bed…” Sigrael giggled. “I prefer that instead of a big love declaration in front of everyone, so yes.”

“Then we’re agreed.” Thorin smiled and kissed her lips, and as they fell asleep, all worries were forgotten. There was a day tomorrow to sort them out.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * my headcanon, in case you wondered! I and a few shares the idea that dwarves have some sort of a berserker in them that needs to be "tamed" (why isn't my brain working at this hour...) through battles and training, and in this case, we have over-protective uncle Thorin worrying a bit too much. Relax Thorin, Fili is keeping an eye on his brother and vice versa! ;)  
> ** the guitar - in Norway we don't even have a word for the old-fashioned guitars, so if anyone has a better word, please tell me!
> 
> Oh and I'm picking up some old threads here, that I realized I left unattached in an earlier chapter (back in Rivendell, if you remember). After reading the new comments, I saw that a few lines made some things unclear, so I've fixed them as well! ^_^
> 
>  
> 
> And a big thank you and a crushing hug to all of you that have left kudos and comments, way more than I expected! <3 you keep me inspired! And good that some of you keep holding my ears so I don't go nuts with everything! ;)
> 
> And a little hint for one of the coming chapters; I have a plan of including some love for Bofur as well, so stay tuned! Relax, it won't ruin my Thorin/OC plans at all. But sweet Bofur deserves someone to love him, right? ;) (I've had a few wishes for that, so since you've been so kind and loving, I shall make your wish come true!)
> 
> I had to fix the notes now, I completely forgot about them last night!!


	15. Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So finally a few things are revealed to our dear characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so so so sorry for the slow update! ;-; the chapter has been more or less ready for a couple of weeks, but due to some personal issues I just couldn't bring myself to finish it or post it. It's been some tough weeks to me and it came totally unexpected, but I'm slowly coming back now. So as soon as I get some matters out of my way, I will be back, stronger than before!

Sigrael had never believed it would feel this good to wake up in someone’s arms. At first she thought it was still a dream, but as she heard a sleepy sigh behind her, she turned around to see – Thorin was still sleeping, and she couldn’t remember seeing him this peaceful before. As she faced him, she let a hand caress his face and she smiled as she did so – it just felt good to be there, and she wished that they could just stay here. The bed was warm and soft, his arm was lazily resting on her waist, and it was so calming to just lie close to him, skin against skin. Her hand slid down along the shape of his body, caressing the skin as she touched it – warm and soft against her fingertips.

Sigrael swallowed heavily for a moment as a wave of nausea rolled over her – damned, she had almost forgotten about it after last night’s fun, but it still haunted her! She rolled over on her back, breathing deeply till it passed away. A single tear ran down from the corner of her eye as she thought of the unborn child she was carrying – she would have to tell him, she had to find a way. Yesterday it had still felt so unrealistic to her and the feast made her able to forget it for the night, but she couldn’t escape this – the child was growing by every minute and Thorin would have to know, sooner or later. But would he allow her to follow them if he knew? And what if Bard’s warning was true – then she wouldn’t be safe no matter if she was here or in the mountain. She didn’t dare go through Mirkwood again, and if she took the long road around it and then through the gap of Isengard, she wasn’t sure if she would reach Rivendell in time – it was too dangerous to cross the mountains considering the goblins, and e  
specially at this time of the year.

She took a deep breath and tried to focus on something nicer instead, like how the child would look like. She smiled a little by the thought, wondering if it would be short as them, or maybe get some of the taller genes from her own parents. Why she had been short of growth, nobody knew, but her mother had blamed some illness she caught when she was 10 years. 

As the nausea was gone, she turned and looked at Thorin, and she focused on him instead, and a feeling of luck grew in her chest; last night he had confessed his love to her, and didn’t even doubt considering telling his company. He wanted to show that they were a couple, that she belonged to him and he to her, and it made her prouder than anything.

She caressed his face and noticed the helix on his ear – she had never studied it before and sat up a little so she could see better. The patterns were beautiful dwarfish ones, and she wondered how they even got it attached – for a moment she imagined a younger rebellion Thorin, drinking up his courage before doing it, and just the mental picture of that made her smile. She let her fingers gently touch it, before following the line of his ear and down his neck.

“Now that’s a view to wake up to.” She heard him murmur.

She looked down, seeing his face were just inches from her chest now. “You’re not complaining, are you?” she smiled and straightened up to look down on him.

“No, I’ve just never woke up to find my nose just centimetres away from a pair of breasts that way before.” He chuckled and lay over on his back.

“I’m terribly sorry if that scared you.” Sigrael said and put up an almost apologetic face.

“I’ll get over it someday.” He teased back. “Have you been awaken for long?”

“Not really.” She smiled and bent down to kiss him. “Just a few minutes.”

“Come here…” he whispered and pulled her closer, and soon they were kissing passionately and forgot all about the worries of late. Hands wandered, and soon Thorin took control of the act that was starting to form; he had learned where she liked to be touched and used that knowledge now. She moaned in comfort, surrendering to his control. As his hand caressed her thighs, she willingly rolled over on her back and spread them and a long sigh came from her as he caressed the inside of them, up and down.

“Please…” she whispered pleadingly.

Thorin didn’t have to ask about what she wanted, he knew it. His hand made its way to the warm spot between her legs and gently started to rub her clit – her soft moan of pleasure sent sparks down his spine and he felt his own arousal grow, but he had time. Slowly he pushed one finger in, hearing how she let a long breath out as he did so. It didn’t take long before he had pushed in two more fingers, thrusting them in and out in a teasing and slow pace.

He couldn’t wait anymore, he wanted more and positioned himself between her legs, looking down on her – he couldn’t believe the beauty he was admiring. He kissed her as he lowered down over her and entered. The sweet pleasure spread throughout their bodies, tingling every single nerve as he found a slow and gentle pace and Sigrael curled her legs around his butt to let him go deeper.

She found herself a bit surprised; she had never experienced anyone being this slow and tender with her. This was a new experience and the kissing grew passionate as she found herself so pleased. One of his hands caressed her body, stroking a few strands of hair away from her face before cupping it. She couldn’t do anything else than just holding him close, feeling how he slowly thrusted in and out of her.

She had not expected this kind of calm and slow actions bringing her this much pleasure as she felt the orgasm building up. Her breath turned faster as it approached and then hit her, a blinding white sensation before she shut her eyes closed, moaning loudly under him. Thorin pressed his face against her neck, his breath short before he let go – a long moan came from him as he stiffened the moment he came.

He held his breath for a moment before he relaxed and kissed her softly. Their moist bodies were still close and they just laid there like this for a minute, enjoying the sweet feeling that followed.

“I love you…” Sigrael whispered softly and kissed the tip of his nose.

“I love you too…” he smiled and rolled off her, but pulled her with him in the move so she was lying on top of him.

“You little…!” Sigrael hissed in surprise before she laughed as she looked down on him.

“Dwarf?” he asked teasingly, earning another laugh from her.

“Something like that.” She smiled and shook her head. “I love you anyways.” She sighed and kissed him again.

“That’s good.” He chuckled against her lips before he kissed her again.

*

Sigrael had hoped some breakfast would help, but the nausea just returned with full power, and she had to flee for the toilet. This was just horrible and she decided to give the breakfast another try in an hour or two, maybe her stomach was calmer then so she actually would be able to get something down and keep it there.

As she was done throwing up the breakfast, she was glad that a warm bath had been prepared to her – maybe that would help. She walked up and closed the door to the room and undressed. It was bright as day now and a relaxing beam of daylight shone through the thin curtains. As she crawled into the bath, she let a long sigh out and just enjoyed it for a few minutes.

She opened her eyes as somebody knocked on the door and in the next moment Thorin entered the room. “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly.

“Yeah, I’m much better now.” She smiled bravely, glad that the nausea had calmed down. “I bet it’s the stress that’s still hanging on.” She sighed, still not finding the courage to tell him – if she just had the wisdom and the courage...

Thorin looked at her and nodded, not saying a word. He pulled a chair over to the bathtub and picked up a sponge and some soap. He began to gently rub her skin and she let out a soft sigh of comfort. After rubbing her back, he massaged her shoulders and neck and she felt how relaxation settled in her body as sore muscles were relieved from pain and stress. Then he continued to rub her skin, working his way down her body and as she closed her eyes, she thought that if this was to be treated like a Queen, she could definitely get used to it.

It was as he washed over her breasts she noticed something – the nipples were sore. She had noticed that she flinched easier last night when Thorin caressed or bit them, but this was something she never reacted to. She looked down, and in the bright daylight she saw something she hadn’t seen in the dim light from the lamps – they seemed somehow bigger and darker. She dropped back in the tub and knew Bard was right – now her body had given her several signs and she couldn’t deny it anymore.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Thorin asked as he noticed the change in her.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, thinking that she just had to get it done. “You’re sitting, right?” she said and she heard him get up and move the chair, so he was sitting beside her so their eyes could meet. Damn, he made it even harder for her now as he looked at her with a worried face. “Fine.” She stuttered and swallowed heavily. “Unfortunately, I don’t know you so well that I know how to tell you big, serious news, especially of the kind that will change anything. Do you like it straight ahead or wrapped in nice paper?”

“Straight ahead.” Thorin said calmly and they looked in each other’s eyes for a second that felt like hours.

“I’m pregnant.” She whispered and tried to breathe normally, but noticed that she was shivering, trembling, losing control of her body and that scared her. She saw how Thorin’s face went from surprise to shock, his eyes widening as the fact dawned on him and the consequences of this stood out clear to him. He rested his arms on the edge of the tub, one of them still holding the sponge while the other supported his head, but slowly slid up to tangle his hair. A few words slipped from him, but they were in Khuzdul and she had no chance to understand them – it seemed like he was cursing for himself.

“For how long?” Thorin said low, looking at the other side of the tub and trying to let the fact sink in.

“Since Beorn’s…” Sigrael whispered and looked down.

“So that was what bothered you all the time…” Thorin sighed and straightened up. “A wonder none of us figured it out before.”

“With all the things going on, I don’t think most people are counting days after last fuck.” Sigrael sighed, glad he didn’t get angry and even chuckled by the comment. When he finally looked at her, he looked more worried about her than anything and she wanted him to calm down, since she was doing fine, after all. “Look, it’s normal to feel sick the first three months-“

“I’m more worried about leading you to a dragon when you are carrying someone that can’t fend themselves.” Thorin said and leant closer to her, resting his chin on his arms. “But we have to think about that, and we still have a few days to come up with a solution, and I don’t want to leave you here with all these strangers either.”

“I’m a Ranger, I’m used to walk among strangers.” Sigrael said with a smile. “We’ll come up with something.”

“We will.” Thorin said and let a hand caress her cheek. “Is there anything I can do? Anything you need?”

“Just be here for us.” She said low and tears welled up in her eyes.

“I will.” Thorin said low. “I just find it hard to believe yet.”

“Me too…” Sigrael sighed. 

“But listen now.” Thorin said and took a deep breath. “You are sure about this?”

“I should have been bleeding more than a week ago, according to the moon, and I’m throwing up, getting bigger and sore breasts – I’m quite sure.” Sigrael said, but now calmer than she was in the beginning.

Thorin looked at her for a long moment, his eyes both sad, worried and somehow joyful. “I never believed I would have my own child.”

“Neither did I.” she said with a small smile.

Thorin took her hand in his, caressing it gently. “Sorry if I don’t say or do much, I just… Need some time.”

“It’s okay.” Sigrael said and smiled to him. “I can hardly believe it myself.”

Thorin looked at her and smiled, before he leant in to kiss her. “Know that I’m grateful.” He whispered as they rested their foreheads towards each other.

*

“Thorin, may I have a word with you?” Balin asked as they were done with yet another meeting with the master of Laketown – he may be supportive, but he kept a close eye on the dwarves, using every occasion to have some sort of meeting to discuss minor details and it started to chew their nerves.

“Sure, my old friend.” Thorin said and tried to put up a smile, but failed as he was irritated at the mentioned master.

“Relax now Thorin, soon we’re about to be served a good meal for the evening, and just five or six more days and we’ll be on our way again.” Balin chuckled and patted Thorin’s shoulder. “Now, what I wanted to talk with you about, is something else than this meeting.”

“Then what is it?” Thorin asked and looked at Balin.

“Sigrael.” Balin said and Thorin stopped. “Ah, I had a feeling about that.” Balin said with a smile as he saw how Thorin immediately changed. “I just wanted to know what this thing between you two are, as it has developed in a direction… I certainly didn’t expect. If I’m not mistaken, you two have shared the same bed the two nights we have spent here, so I’m left with a feeling that something is going on between you two.” He said and lifted his eyebrows.

“You are right, my friend. I have even surprised myself when falling for Sigrael. I was wondering about how to tell you, but honestly I have no idea.” Thorin said and smiled a little. “I don’t think it would be right to keep our changed relation secret for the company, but we don’t feel like making a grand declaration about it.”

“So let me fix that laddie – they are already whispering, and I could confirm it the next time I hear it and everybody will know.” Balin winked to him. “But keep a low profile for now. But I agree; it’s fair to let them know when they have been stuck with the arguing between you two for a couple of months.”

“That could work.” Thorin chuckled.

“That will work.” Balin grinned before he patted Thorin’s shoulder. “You deserve this. She’s a great woman and I think she’ll do you good.”

“Thank you.” Thorin said and smiled warmly.

“Now, let’s go back, I’m starving already!”

*

“Thank you, that is most kindly of you.” Bilbo smiled to Sigrael as she handed him a cup of tea. The poor hobbit had caught the cold after the barrel ride, and the Ranger had found some herbs she could make some tea of at the local market.

“Why shouldn’t I keep our burglar at health?” she smiled and draped a blanket around his shoulders. “It’s a blend of chamomile and wood sorrel, it should make you feel better. I’ve added some honey as well.”

“That should definitely help, yes.” He smiled and took a careful sip of the tea. “Smells exactly like the tea my mother used to make me.”

“The good recipes are the oldest, my dear.” She chuckled and ruffled his hair. “She must have been a wise woman.”

“Despite being a Took, she was.” Bilbo chuckled before he took another careful sip. Then he sneezed and desperately looked for his handkerchief. “I’m so sorry!” he mumbled as he wiped off his nose.

“I’ve seen worse things, believe me!” Sigrael laughed and leant back in the chair.

“My mother always told me to stick to my manners. I wonder what she would have said if she saw me now; sneezing in front of people in Laketown, after crossing the Misty Mountains and Mirkwood, fighting off goblins and spiders.” Bilbo said and lifted his eyebrows. “I’m afraid my mother would have been sort of proud, while my poor father would shake his head.”

“You really think so?” Sigrael smiled and took a sip of her own tea.

“He was a Baggins!” Bilbo said and chuckled. “You then?”

“I don’t know my father so I have no idea.” Sigrael just shrugged her shoulder. “My mother would have been proud if I killed one orc, so I bet she’s dancing in her grave now.” She said with a small smile. “She didn’t think the farmer life was something for neither her nor me, so I hope she’s happy with me being a Ranger.”

“Well, you are the bravest woman I have ever met, that is for sure.” Bilbo smiled friendly to her.

“And you’re the bravest hobbit that ever crossed my path.” She smiled to him, and in that moment she knew she had been right about joining this quest – she had Seen this before and Gandalf had been right in bringing them with him. At least there was still something she did right.

“So, what is this thing with you and Thorin?” Bilbo suddenly asked. “Sorry if I’m rude!”

“Don’t worry, we just happened to find out we like each other in a slightly different way.” Sigrael smiled with a shy smile. “And I’ve learned my lesson, he’s something else than I first believed and I’ve realized he’s somebody I couldn’t be without.”

“I’m glad for you.” Bilbo smiled warmly. “You really deserve to be happy, and I too learned that Thorin isn’t just a grumpy dwarf.”

“Or a thickhead, as I first thought.” Sigrael chuckled.

“Or that.” Bilbo laughed. “I really wish the best for you.”

“You’re such a sweetheart.” Sigrael smiled and ruffled a hand through his hair.

“Hey!” he shouted, for then to sneeze again in the next moment. “Oh come on!”

“Bless you!”

*

Sigrael woke up as an unsettling feeling had got a grip on her – she tried to sleep again, turning from side to side, but it wouldn’t let go. She sighed and got up, deciding to take a walk – they were within civilization now, it was safer than what it would be in the wild. She looked at Thorin and smiled as she saw his peaceful form – maybe he had grown a bit conceited the last days after the welcome, but she didn’t blame him either, considering the story of his family. And he had sorted out a lot on behalf of the Company and they only waited for a few things to be prepared before they could set off to the Lonely Mountain. She put on a shirt and a pair of trousers before she tucked a cloak around her shoulders before she silently left the room.

For a long while Sigrael walked along the streets, wandering in her own world before she returned to the house they’d been given. As she entered it, the unsettling feeling returned – she had some ideas of why, but the thoughts were so many and difficult to sort out. It was then she spotted the guitar* – she grabbed it and walked out again and found a peaceful spot by the land bridge, and there she sat down, playing some tunes that soon formed into a familiar melancholic melody.

The child growing in her was her biggest worry at this point: would it be safer to follow Thorin, or wait here? If the dragon woke up and got the first move, she would be dead no matter if she was here or in the mountain. She had sworn loyalty to his command, and if he told her to stay, would she? She just didn’t know what she wanted to do.

“Trouble sleeping?” Thorin’s soft and deep voice asked.

Sigrael turned and found him walking towards her. “Yes.” She said and smiled a little. Despite her worries, she always felt safer when he was around – a kind of belonging she had never known before. And as he sat down beside her and laid an arm around her, she relaxed.

“I missed you.” He said low and kissed her cheek.

“I’m sorry I left you.” She said and chuckled a little. “If I knew that would wake you up…”

“Well, I woke up as I heard you leave the house again.” He said smiling and looked down at the guitar. She laughed a little and leaned closer to him – to feel the warmth from him felt so wonderfully good, and she leant into his arms and let him embrace her.

They sat like that, for a long while. It wasn’t until they saw the skies getting brighter they moved a little. “Maybe we should go to bed again for a while.” Thorin said low and shifted a little.

But now the melancholic feeling had settled in her again, as her mind wandered off to what was ahead of her, if the quest was successful – a long time of waiting, finished by a hard fight. And the time till that point was mostly uncertain, she didn’t even know if she would live to that point. She couldn’t help it, the tunes escaped from her throat on their own will – and it felt somehow good. Thorin froze in the middle of the move he was about to make – he recognized that melody, he had heard it from time to time west of the mountains from his days there. A melody for comfort, worries, pity and sorrow – so sore and hurtful, yet so beautiful. He should have guessed she knew it.

Soon the words slipped from her and she used the guitar to fill out the melody, and Thorin embraced her with one arm as to comfort her.

_I walk this evening and think and fight, I think I'm like an overturned boat, And all that I cry and all that I suffer I see no advice for myself._

_But why should I be so roughly uneasy? In a hundred years is all forgot._

_So I would really rather stop the battle And go to the sea with my tortured soul. There will the world some time later find me So bitterly drowned to death._

_But why should I end so far too cruel? In a hundred years is all forgot._

“You should sing more often, your voice is beautiful.” Thorin smiled and looked at her, seeing tears forming in her eyes. “Why are you crying?” he asked soothingly to wipe the tears away as they fell down along her cheeks.

“It was a song I heard my mother sing from time to time. I guess she believed she was alone, she tried her best to hide her worst downs away from me – she struggled a lot I think, I don’t think it would be wrong to say that she in many ways was suffering.” Sigrael sighed. “Imagine how it must be to get pregnant with someone that wouldn’t accept it, and then fly away in shame and raise the child alone, with a broken heart. She never told me how she got the money to buy the farm. Many that have been in her shoes have ducked under, but she somehow managed it. And she died too young, her life was just so unfair.” She wiped away a tear before it made its way down.

She looked at Thorin and found that his eyes were wet as well. “She would have been proud if she saw you now.” He said with a small smile. “But the feeling described in the song… That was how I felt too often after what happened to Erebor and we made it to the Blue Mountains – some said we could do well there, but it would never be the same. The Blue Mountains didn’t hold all the resources you will find in Erebor, many of us had to work for men to survive; I worked as a blacksmith, I had to go out hunting to get enough food for me, Dis and her sons. From time to time I went to bed starving as I wanted them the best and wouldn’t risk Fili and Kili getting sick. Those times I found it hard to believe that I once lived in the mightiest kingdom in Middle Earth, as I found myself as a starving blacksmith on the lowest rank, despite that my kin called me Lord.”

He sighed and took a deep breath. “Of course, the other dwarves still respected me as a royal, but there’s a hopeless irony in it when you know this situation would never occurred if we were where we were supposed to be. What’s royal about making tools for a farmer? The problem wasn’t to make the tools or help the farmer, but… The constant reminder of what once was, that was lost. I bet I could have lived with it if I just could become an ordinary dwarf and never hear a word about Erebor again, never being mentioned as a Prince, to just forget what happened. If all was forgotten in a hundred years.”

Sigrael looked at him with sorrowed eyes – she had never heard him speak of this before, and she had never imagined him being that down and broken, or that he had starved. She couldn’t remember starving in her childhood, she had only starved from time to time as a Ranger out of logical reasons like lack of animals to hunt, winter making it hard to find roots and such things. She knew how it was to starve, but she could only imagine how it was to starve to save the children he had taken a responsibility for.

She took Thorin’s hand and got up and he followed her. “Come here.” She whispered and embraced him – her tears ran down her cheeks once again as they stood there and found comfort in each other. She suddenly found herself lucky; they had possibilities, a chance to change the future for not only them, but their child, his kin. They would never again be down and broken again if they succeeded, and she had found another spark to keep her going – seeing Thorin like she had just done and heard that part of his story, made an impression she would never forget.

“Should we go in and rest for a while?” Thorin asked softly after a minute.

“Aye.” She smiled and kissed his lips gently and cupped his face with one hand. He laid a hand on hers and as they broke the kiss, they both smiled again. “I think we needed this.”

“So do I.” he said and took her hand in his to lead her inside.

As they crawled into bed again, he embraced her and kissed her neck. “Thank you.” He whispered before they drifted off to sleep again, and the unsettling feeling was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, the song is from Knut Hamsun's poem "in a hundred years", and the band Lumsk's version of it with a melody. You can find it here (Norwegian): http://www.releaselyrics.com/6501/lumsk-om-hundrede-aar-er-alting-glemt/ (first and third verse)  
> I did my own translation partly because I hadn't found this video yet with subtitles, and partly because it felt more personal when I found my own words to express it in English, and partly because translations can never be accurate anyways, neither the one in the link nor mine. I DO WHAT I WANT *Loki voice*


	16. Burning Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So just a bit more fluff and talking non-sense and the Master of Laketown being a bit more disgusting than usual. HELL YEAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apology: it's been about 2 months (I haven't dared to check the date) since last chapter, and it's a horribly long time. To explain why, since I think my readers deserve it, I can tell this: as some of you might have known, my private life has been a mess since February, and with too many downs and too few ups. I'm very thankfully for my friends and my boyfriend who has stood by my side during this period. That and many other things I'm engaged in during my spare time (which has felt more like a job these months). And since the last half of March I have focused on my exams, since the subject I've been taking the last year is on a master's level and it demanded that I for once took my exams a bit more seriously than usual. It has paid off, so it was worth it, but I'm sorry for all the delays it costed my other projects, like the fics.  
> I hope you can forgive me and understand, hopefully things will be more stabilized from now on.

Sigrael sat by the land bridge and watched the moon rising in the south, sighing as she knew they would leave the day after tomorrow – she didn’t know what to do, but she had an oath and would obey Thorin’s decision. The last evenings she had spent some time here, playing some old and familiar songs on the guitar* someone had borrowed her – it made her worries go away, making it easier to cope with them. It was tough when nobody else than Thorin knew.

“So you’re sitting here again?” she heard a familiar baritone voice ask and she couldn’t help but smile as she saw her newfound love sitting down beside her.

“I am.” She smiled and leant closer to him and he answered by resting his chin on the top of her head. She noticed something in his hands. “Are those braiding clasps?”

“They are.” Thorin said and looked at her. “I thought that I could make a braid or two before we leave Laketown. If you are fine with it, it’s kind of…” he looked down and she could see something that could look like the faintest blush on his cheek. “It’s a declaration of belonging to ones’ kin, group or each other. To you, they would be all three of them. Unfortunately, these aren’t the same as the one my kin wears, but they will do till we reach Erebor.”

“I would feel most honoured.” She smiled to him, feeling a warmth spread through her – was he, Thorin Oakenshield, declaring her to be of his kin?

He found a box and placed it beside her and sat down on it, before he gently took a lock of hair from behind her temple and started to braid it, working down so it hung along her face like his, sometimes he stopped to add fringes and worked out on the length. He then put on the clasp and looked proudly at the result. “You look great with it.” He said and cupped her face before he placed a kiss on her forehead and moved around to the other side of her. As he was done, he looked at her with pride. “Now you’re truly one of us.”

“Thorin, I don’t know what to say…” she whispered and took one of the braids in her hand, admiring how perfectly he had made them.

“You don’t have to; it’s more than enough to see you happy.” He smiled back and kissed her.

…

“They’re moving quickly, aren’t they?” Fili asked as he sat outside the house with Kili and Bofur, looking at the couple.

“Well, braiding her hair is serious.” Kili mumbled and sighed. “Can they? Can he give his heart to a woman of human blood?” Kili asked and the two others looked at him with lifted eyebrows. “Thinking of our line and such…” he shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know.” Bofur said and looked at them. “As far as I know, there have never been any marriages between dwarves and humans before, but there have been crossings though, just take a look down the coast west of the mountains – I stopped counting as I met the twentieth half-blood. All of them was born of a human mother. But if it wasn’t for his heritage, there wouldn’t be a problem though.”

“So you think others might protest because of Durin’s Line?” Kili asked and looked at Bofur.

“Yes. Many dwarves think of their line as something holy, and especially Durin’s.” Bofur said and put out his pipe. “There will be some stubborn dwarves to convince, I’m sure. I’m not worried about the company though; they know Sigrael is a good woman and will hopefully defend their choice – I do, for sure. By some reason, I’m glad I’m not of Durin’s line.”

“I see that. A shame, Sigrael truly is the best human I have ever met.” Fili sighed and watched Thorin and Sigrael as they sat on the land bridge and just looked across the lake in silence, watching Erebor in the distance.

“Me too, and I’ve met many.” Bofur sighed. “Let’s just hope for the best outcome for the two of them.”

*

“Welcome, welcome!” the Master called out loudly as he opened the door to his dining hall. The company entered, all of them nodding their heads to him as Thorin had demanded them to show the deepest respect to the Master – after all, their entire mission now depended on his goodwill to them.

They found their seats as they had done the day before yesterday, but this time the Master turned his attention to Sigrael. “My dear lady, don’t be shy – would you please be the lady by my hand tonight?” he asked with a big smile on his face and gestured to the chair at his left side, where Alfrid used to sit. Alfrid politely took a step back to await and see.

Sigrael looked at Thorin for a moment – he looked like he was about to say something, but shut his mouth. Sigrael could feel the eyes of the entire company on her, but as Thorin gave her a small nod, she smiled to the Master. “I would be honoured.” She said and put on her best face.

“Ah, great, great!” he smiled and pulled out the chair to her and let her sit down. Now Thorin was sitting on the opposite side of her, by the Master’s right hand, so they could discuss their issues.

Alfrid sat down beside Sigrael and as she looked down the table she could see a weary Kili trying to hide a smile – well, she didn’t blame him, as she was seated between two men she so far hadn’t been especially impressed by, quite the opposite. If Kili only knew about her little secret, she was sure he wouldn’t be giggling like a immature teenager right now, and that thought made her smirk.

As the servants placed the plates filled with food on the table, the Master turned to Sigrael. “Now, what would you like to drink? We have of course water, but we have more exciting drinks, as wine, mead, beer, ale, and I just got some barrels with an interesting juice of elderberries from our tradesmen in the south.”

“I think I would go for the elderberries, I can’t recall last time I tasted it. Must be almost twenty years ago!” Sigrael smiled friendly to him.

“Of course!” the Master smiled and gestured a servant to fill her glass. “But later on I would be glad to offer you some of the wine – some of the best wines of the cellars of the Elven King.”

“If you excuse me, I have just recovered after some illness I caught on our way here, and I don’t dare to drink anything that usually makes me wake up with a head ache.” Sigrael said politely and lifted up her glass to have a taste of the juice, while Thorin was suddenly very busy studying the details engraved on the fork he was holding. “Wow, that’s amazing! Better than I remember!” Sigrael said and smiled to the Master. “You must get more of that, Master.”

“Oh please, call me Gudnar*.” The Master chuckled and waved his hand, and the meal started. The dwarves talked and laughed loudly and enjoyed the good care the Master’s servants were giving them. Thorin was discussing and talking a lot with the Master and Alfrid, while Sigrael kept an careful eye on what was going on and what was said – she didn’t quite trust the master. He may have good trades, but it seemed like the town was suffering under his rule of late.

That, and the looks he was giving her from time to time, and later on he confirmed them. “Now, I might be mistaken, but I thought you said ‘twenty years since last time’. You must have been just a child back then?” he chuckled, filling his glass with more brandy.

“No, I was correct. I was 45 years last time I had the pleasure of finding some proper elderberry juice.” She smiled and laughed a bit.

“That means you’re 65? I can’t believe that!” the Master laughed. Thorin and Balin lifted their eyebrows.

“Then you must be a descendant of the dunedains.” Alfrid said and looked at her with an interested look and his brow was raised a little. “Not often they visit this town.”

“Many of the Rangers are descendants the dunedains. Though, we are few and scattered.” She said and picked up a few grapes. “Both my parents were of that old line, so I’ll probably live till I’m about 150 years. I’m in my best years right now.” She said with a smile.

“You’re even older than me.” The Master chuckled.

“Still I’m the youngest in the Company.” Sigrael said and lifted her eyebrows. “Kili is the youngest of the dwarves, he’s 70. His brother Kili is 75. On the other hand, dwarves can without problems reach the age of 250.”

“If they don’t get stabbed or do something very stupid first.” Dwalin chuckled from beside Alfrid. “My grandfather died at the age of 317 years.”

“You seem to be in better company with dwarves than us ordinary men.” Alfrid said with a small smile.

“I find good company with most races in Middle Earth, as long as they’re not orcs or goblins.” Sigrael said, noticing she was starting to get tired. She had lost count on how many hours they had spent on this dinner, but as she looked out a window she guessed it was in the middle of the night, by the colour of the night sky to judge.

As the others had read her thoughts, it was declared that the feast was over for now. The Master seemed to be most pleased, as he and Thorin had come to some sorts of agreement considering the help they needed to get to Erebor. Sigrael was the last to make it to the door except from the Master himself, and he called for her attention. “So, I just wondered… Do you have any kind of… commitments, when you’re not on any adventures as a Ranger?” he asked, looking her up and down.

‘What a foul man!’ Sigrael thought to herself as she looked up at the man that was at least a head and a half, if not two, taller than her and twice the width. “I like to think of myself as independent and not depending on anyone else, commitments or not.” She said and straightened her back. “Though I must say that there is one that has my loyalty.”

The Master looked at her and it felt so unpleasant that she for a moment looked out the door – and saw Thorin, waiting for her in the dim light in the hall. The way he looked at them revealed he was most unpleased with the situation, but his irritation was not turned against her. Sigrael smiled a bit as she knew the Master would have to keep his deal with Thorin if he ever hoped for a good relation between Laketown and Erebor.

“Well, good for you.” The Master smiled politely and walked out the door. He nodded a good night to Thorin, who was waiting for Sigrael. She slowly left the room and walked towards Thorin and listened carefully.

She heard that the door to the Master’s chambers closed, and she dared to speak. “I could feel conceited if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s so… disgusting…!” she hissed and made a disgusted face about the whole thing.

Thorin looked at her for a moment before his face broke out in a huge smile. “Well, I’m glad to see that you’re not tempted.” He chuckled.

“Ew, no! I do have some standards!” Sigrael whispered and looked like she was smelling something disgusting right under her nose.

“But most of all – I’ glad to hear that I have your loyalty.” Thorin said and laid an arm around her waist. She couldn’t but laugh a little before she rested her head against his shoulders and smiled. They walked up the stairs to their room in silence, and didn’t notice that Alfrid was seeing them as they walked down the hall.

As the door closed, he walked straight to his Master. “I know who her loyalty belongs to.” Alfrid said as he closed the door.

“Don’t come here and tell me it’s one of the dwarves.” The Master spat.

“Well it is. And none less than Thorin Oakenshield.” Alfrid said and lifted his eyebrow.

“I must say she’s aiming for the high class. If they’re allowed, that is.” The Master said and shook his head.

“Allowed?”

“Don’t you think some of the stubbornheads in the Iron Hills will refuse to acknowledge a marriage between the heir of Durin and an ordinary human of no special class or family? To be far descendant of the dunedains won't impress a stubborn dwarf.” the Master said as he sat down on the bed. “Well, if he reclaims the mountain he will be king, but he still needs alliances and if he burns the bridge with the Iron Hills, he’s more of a fool than I thought.”

*

Bofur was awake in his bed, fidgeting with the tiny medallion attached to the necklace. He couldn’t sleep, and Bombur and Bifur was already far away in the land of dreams, but Bofur remained awake. There hadn’t been a day when he didn’t think of Ira that was waiting for him in Ered Luin, but after the revelation of today, where it turned out that Thorin and Sigrael had become a couple, the reality struck him harder than in a long time.

The first two weeks had been the worst, then he somehow got used to be far away from her, more so for each night he went to sleep. Somehow he had managed to put it a bit on distance to focus on the journey ahead, but that made the longing for her even worse when he allowed himself to touch the feelings. Though he felt he had control and thought of the longing as something good, something that made it all worth it, but after seeing the warm and totally new gaze Thorin had sent in Sigrael’s direction, he had felt some feelings he had never felt before. If that was what they called jealousy, he had no doubt it was unhealthy. Not that he liked Sigrael that way, he just really liked her as a friend and a trusted companion, but it felt so unfair that they at least had each other – they could share a bed together here in Laketown, while he found himself having Mirkwood, the Misty Mountains and endless miles of wilderness between himself and Ira.

He sighed and rolled over on his back, looking at the ceiling. Somehow, the ceiling here looked much like the one at his own place in Ered Luin, and he drifted off into the land of memories and longing.

_“Bofur?” her sweet voice called from the entrance door and Bofur quickly got up from the chair he had been sitting in by the fireplace. He almost ran out to the hall to meet her, and as he got there within a few seconds, she was already taking off her jacket. “You’re quick.” She smiled to him and placed a kiss on his cheek._

_“Can’t have you waiting.” He smiled back and caressed her cheek before he kissed her lips. The hour he had been waiting for her after her dinner had been long like a year, but she had promised her brother to take a look at his children’s clothes – of course his wife was gone in some errands and wouldn’t be back in a couple of weeks and they were supposed to be at a celebration tomorrow at school. Ira was a kind and helpful soul and fortunately she was good with her hands, so the clothes were fixed in a short time and she could return to Bofur to continue what they had started at the dinner they made together._

_“I’m more worried about how long you’ve been waiting.” She smiled and took his hand, leading him down the hall; she had already started to feel like she was at home. First they had eaten the dinner and now they’ve had time enough to rest for other things they knew would come – they hadn’t said a word, but both knew what was coming._

_Ira had first been upset because Bofur was going on the quest, but Bofur had promised Thorin to follow him just days before Ira had confessed to him how she really felt. Bofur had known her for years and had secretly known he loved her more than anything, but he had held back because he considered himself too old for her, and guessed she would find love in someone younger than him. At first he had considered to drop out from the quest, but Thorin had been a friend of his as long as he could remember. Maybe Bofur was born three years after Smaug’s invasion and therefore never knew Erebor himself, but it had been the homeland of his parents and he could see and feel their sorrow._

_Ira knew how it felt, as her parents as well originated from Erebor, and it didn’t take her long time before she accepted that Bofur would go, though she worried a lot about him. For a long time she had believed that Bofur was too old for her, but in the end she had decided that 35 years didn’t matter to her – she loved him and nothing could change that. Now she worried that she would lose him before she had even got a chance to live her dream with him._

_Therefore, the both of them learned the art of valuing each moment together, and Bofur already did so as he closed the bedroom door after them. Their lips met in a hungry kiss and arms embraced and hands were touching. He buried his hand in her auburn hair before he let it slide along her jaw, touching her soft beard and saving the memory of how it felt like against his fingers. Soft moans slipped out between the kisses as pieces of clothes fell to the floor and they slipped into their own little, isolated world._

_…_

_Ira dug her hands in his hair as he increased the pace and the strength of his last thrusts; she just tried to keep up with him the last moments as she was already exhausted after being teased and pleased to the brink of madness for then letting go and surrender to the waves of pleasure. Bofur’s breath came in short, wet gasps as he finally reached his climax and pushed deep down the last time, before he almost collapsed on top her. He carefully rolled over on his side, closing his eyes in pleasure and smiled as Ira caressed his chest._

_“As always, you impress me.” She smiled and kissed the tip of his nose._

_“Can’t let a jewel like you be disappointed.” He grinned and kissed her lips softly._

_“And you wonder how I could fall in love with you…?” she giggled and curled up close to him._

_“Because a simple miner like me can’t deserve something so beautiful.” He said low and let a hand caress her back while he admired her sleepy, blue eyes. “I love you, Ira.”_

_“I love you too, Bofur.” She smiled back with a sleepy smile._

_“Ira…” Bofur whispered and she lifted her body up a little from his, looking at him as she awaited the next words. “When I come back – would you marry me?” he asked and took her hand in his._

_“I would.” She smiled warmly and leant closer to him. “More than anything.” She whispered and kissed him._

_“I can’t wait for that day.” He said with a warm laugh, glad that she hadn’t even doubted when she answered. If they had better time, he would plan a more romantic proposal, but this would do, for now – to just know that she wanted to marry him would be precious for him during the quest. “You are the dearest thing in the world, there’s nothing I love more.”_

_“And you are the most precious to me. I love you, Bofur.” She whispered and fell asleep with her cheek rested on his chest._

_…_

_Bofur turned and looked at Ira the last time before he left – Thorin was already waiting for him, despite that it was so early in the morning that the sun wasn’t even up. But he and Ira had decided that this would be the best way to part, as she couldn’t stand farewells. Bofur just hoped that she wouldn’t regret the decision when she woke up to find that he was gone, and would be so for a long time._

“Hey, Bofur, breakfast!” Bofur woke up with a jump as his brother nudged him, looking around very confused for a moment. “Seems like you were in the middle of a dream.” Bombur smiled as he saw his brother’s reaction.

“I was…” Bofur sighed and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

“Ira, I guess?” Bombur asked as he opened the door to leave the room.

Bofur noticed Bifur was already gone. “Yes…” he sighed and started to get dressed.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * still the guitar  
> * Because Gudnar and Alfrid sounds like a dream team
> 
> Oh and I just had to write some Bofur fluff - because that gorgeous little shit deserves some lovin' too <3


	17. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions are made, and some guys are not as nice as they should be. But there is some fluff :3 sugarsweet, so take care of your teeth after reading this.

“Sigrael, isn’t that Bard?” Bilbo asked low as he noticed someone approach them. Bilbo and Sigrael sat on some barrels and watched the busy life in Laketown.

Sigrael looked through the corner of her eye and saw that Bilbo was right – Bard was coming towards them, and with a worried expression on his face. “It is.” She mumbled and pretended she hadn’t noticed the man and inhaled more smoke from her pipe.

“What does he want?” Bilbo hissed but before Sigrael got to answer, Bard was there.

“When will you depart?” he bluntly asked them.

“Why that?” Sigrael asked and turned to face him.

“I want to know if you’re really going.” Bard said and knelt between them. “I have a family to care about.”

“Do you really think we would stay here for 5 days and feed ourselves up for then to flee?” Bilbo asked Bard while Sigrael handed him the pipe. “I don’t have the heart to do that when I look around.”

“Yet you’re still going for the mountain.” Bard lifted his eyebrows.

“And who came with the prophecy, if I may ask?” Sigrael said with a smile. “It’s quite obvious that the dwarves would sooner or later try to reclaim the mountain. But if it will end with fire or not – nobody knows. You can’t wait forever for nothing.”

“And who are you to know about prophecies?” Bard frowned.

“My dear Bard – I’m a Ranger, descendant of the dunedains and as my line tend to, we sometimes See; but we can’t guarantee that what we see is correct. It can be a warning, it can be something that can’t be changed, but we don’t know. So it’s nothing else than a clue. And that is what I think about this prophecy – it’s a clue, and a good warning to bring with, but nothing more.” Sigrael said and lifted her eyebrows. “None of us have the power to know if it’s absolute or not.”

“So you don’t care about this village?” Bard said and looked her straight in the eyes.

“I can’t remember she said anything about that.” Bilbo said and Bard turned his gaze to him. “The dragon hasn’t been seen for 60 years, he might as well be dead.” Bilbo shrugged his shoulders. “And if he’s alive, but none went to slay him, he might suddenly come out and destroy the village as well. As I see it, no matter what you do, there will be a risk.”

“I see.” Bard turned to Sigrael again. “Then I dare ask _you_ ; are you really willing to risk the most valuable you have?” he whispered as he got up and left them and left Sigrael dumbstruck.

“What was that?” Bilbo asked and looked at Sigrael with confusion.

“I have no idea.” Sigrael said, her voice colder than usual; that was below the belt.

*

“Sigrael, come here.” Thorin said low and led her inside their room.

“What is it?” she smiled to him as he closed the door.

“I’ve been thinking about our challenge here.” He said calmly, as he knew she would be upset no matter what his decision would be; after all she had sworn to follow him, but she also feared what could happen to the little one, and he shared her feelings.

“Yes?” she said and sighed, knowing that this moment was coming no matter what.

“I want you to stay here. I don’t dare bringing you to the mountain while we don’t know if we’re facing a dead or alive dragon.” Thorin said low. “While you’re staying here, relax, be sure you’ll get what you need so the child will be fine. The journey has been hard on you, you're close to skinny now, and you should not be that when pregnant.” Thorin said with care in his voice. “And maybe find out more about this town. You won’t be useless just because you’re staying behind.”

Sigrael looked down, as she couldn’t help but feel disappointed – she wanted to follow them, she had prepared to face the dragon, but now she would be stamping around in this floating ghost town till she knew what had faced the dwarves upon their arrival. On the other hand, since she had made up her mind about this quest months ago she had now gotten one more extra to take care of. “Ok.” She said and tried to put up a smile.

“Besides, I think Kili will need you. I don’t think he’ll be able to follow us tomorrow if he doesn’t get better over the night. That infection is stronger than we believed.” Thorin looked worried as he mentioned it. “I don’t like it, not at all.”

“I’m getting worried too, it might be poisoned and in that case I’ll have to seek the shores to find the herbs I will need to slow it down. I haven't faced that before, but the orcs are sly and cunning, it wouldn't surprise me if they had started to poison their arrows.“ she sighed and looked down for a moment before she look Thorin in his eyes again. “Let’s see how he is tomorrow. But maybe you should talk with him now so he doesn’t get too disappointed – he wants to follow you too, you know.” Sigrael said calmly.

“I should, if he hasn't gone to sleep already.” Thorin said low before he lifted a hand to caress her face. “I will miss you.” He whispered and let his hand slide down on her neck as he rested his forehead against her. “I’ve gotten so used to wake up beside you, to hear your voice every morning.”

“It will be very lonesome to not wake up to your warmth.” Sigrael said and sobbed a little. “I wish you could be by my side so you wouldn’t miss one day with our little one growing.”

“Hopefully everything is solved by the time he or she will arrive in this world.” Thorin smiled and laid an arm around her waist. “While I’m gone, you could perhaps think of a name.”

Sigrael fell silent for a moment – in the midst of all that was going on she hadn't offered a single thought of what was one of the perhaps most important things. ”Me?” she stuttered and blushed a bit. ”But don't you want a saying in this?”

”Me?” Thorin chuckled before he shook his head. ”No. Unless you want me to.” he said with a smile, before he continued as he saw her confused expression. ”Among dwarves, women picks the name, since she's the one carrying the child. She's the forge, the one giving so much of herself to bring the child to our world. To us it is natural that she picks the name.”

”It is a nice thought, though I'd like to hear your opinions.” Sigrael said with a small yet warm smile.

Thorin looked at her – he knew that among the race of men, it was often the man who made the final decision in names, since they ruled the family, at least in the regions Thorin had wandered through. Well, there always were an old woman the man almost feared, but he was still the head of the family, and Thorin wondered how he could have forgotten this – probably because the other way felt natural for him. For being of the race of men, Sigrael was a woman with much independance, probably because of the lack of a such man in all her life, and the lifestyle with much celibacy. He understood that she must feel a bit unsure, and he decided that they could meet half-way. ”Well, if I had any opinions.” he said with a small smile. ”I can see if-”

“Well, since you have said you will raise the child, a dwarfish name would be natural, wouldn’t it?” she said with a smile as she cut him off. She guessed he would use a long time if he had to come up with specific suggestions, so she guessed she could come up with something if she got something to work on.

“I guess so.” He chuckled.

“Then what is the tradition in your family then?” Sigrael lifted one eyebrow to him – she suddenly felt confident in the matter as Thorin's message sunk in: of course he was right! Now, she wouldn't go for anything if she could, she wanted him to approve, but she was free to find some names she liked.

“If it’s a son, we’ll give either the first or last letters from the father, or sometimes both, like I have ‘Th’ like my father and grandfather, and ‘in’ in the end like my brother and father.” Thorin said with a smile.

“And if it’s a girl?”

“Most common is to give a name starting on the same letter as the mother.” Thorin said with a smile. “Dis got the ‘D' from our mother, Drifa. If not the first letter, they often want a vocal in common.”

“I think I should come up with some suggestion then.” Sigrael smiled and a tear ran down her cheek. Somehow, the thought of finding a name encouraged her.

“What do you think it is? A boy or a girl?” Thorin asked and cupped her face as he wiped the tear away.

”I have a feeling it's a boy, but I don't know yet. I haven't Seen anything yet, so let's wait and see.” She said and kissed his lips gently.

Thorin smiled as he broke the kiss. “Both will be much welcome.”

“But honestly; do you think you could place the child on the throne?” Sigrael asked after a moment's silence - the question just came without her even thinking.

“No. I don’t want to.” Thorin said and looked her in her eyes again. “All these years I have raised Fili for the task, and I have declared him as my heir. I don’t want to let him down in that way. Besides, I’m afraid I will be gone from this world before our child would be ready for the throne, and I don’t want to put that burden on those of you who are left. I'm not young anymore. I will raise the child as a royal, but third in line after Fili and Kili in case something should happen to them. But the best would be if that wouldn’t be necessary.”

“By some reason I’m relieved to hear that.” Sigrael smiled to him. “I just want us to be a family together.”

“We shall.” Thorin said with a smile and kissed her. “I just need to get rid of that dragon, and we’re free to be who we want to be, in our very own home and realm.”

“You make it sound so easy.” Sigrael laughed while he kissed her cheek, chuckling.

“Down to basic that is the only obstacle in our way.” Thorin said with a playful smile. “Well, and some reparations, since I guess the dragon has smashed quite a lot. And to sort out the amount of gold; we’ll need to hire workers to first sort all of the gold and jewels in separate halls again, and then…”

“Good thing that we are blessed with long lives.” Sigrael smiled and shook her head. “But about our little one…”

“Should we tell the others yet?” Thorin asked and looked a bit nervous.

“I’d rather wait. It’s still early, barely two months, and I can still lose it. I would wait at least for one more month.” She said and tried to look calm, though the thought made her nervous, now as she had got used to the thought of becoming a mother.

“Then we wait.” Thorin said and caressed her cheek. “Though, I think some of them are suspicious.”

“Why so?”

“Gloin has already raised three children, he should recognize the early symptoms of a pregnancy. I saw him and Oin sending you some suspicious glances.” He sighed. “As long as they don’t make any trouble of it.”

“Let them whisper.” Sigrael said and let her hands slide down his waist and to rest on his hips. “As long as they don’t bother me, they can whisper as much as they want. I’m proud to carry your child.” She said with a confident smile and looked Thorin in his eyes.

“Our child.” Thorin said and lifted his eyebrows. “And I can’t wait to see it.”

“It will be a long waiting. Even if you return in two weeks and the dragon is long gone, it would still be half a year of waiting.” Sigrael said to tease him as she gently pulled him closer to her so their bodies were touching.

“And you seem to have an idea about how to kill the waiting?” he whispered and let his own hands slide behind her back and down to her buttocks.

“I do.” She grinned as she started to undo his trousers.

“Show me.“ Thorin said with a grin as her hands slipped inside them and she leant in to kiss him. The kiss deepened and she took control, let her tongue sink into his mouth to dance with his while she gripped around his shaft and started to pump it. He embraced her with one arm and the hand rested on her lower back, while the other cupped her face. He groaned as she found the right pressure, a sound so delicious and perfect it made Sigrael shiver and encouraged to go on.

...

It was as he looked up at her, there she was riding him with passion and leaning back to feel all his length, he knew why he just couldn't get enough of her. Everyone else expected him to lead, to take control and do what he was best at. Sigrael had never expected that; she allowed herself to take that control if she was given the chance, and she knew how to use it.

Thorin sat up and she laid her arms around his neck and shoulders, still keeping the control. He laid his arms on her hips to feel her rolling moves that kept bringing him closer and closer to climax. “I'm coming“ he said between gritted teeth as he used his breath to control himself and dely his orgasm.

Sigrael buried her face in his hair and sqeezed her eyes shut as he with his hand found just the right pressure and rhythm on her sensitive knob. Seconds later the fire spread through her and she moaned out, pushed herself harder down on him and Thorin let himself go. His grip around her buttocks as his climax rushed through him would definatey leave bruises, but none of them cared.

He dropped down on the bed, out of breath, and Sigrael followed. “You have no idea how much I love you...“ she whisperd and kissed him gently on his lips.

“I could have nothing, if I only had you...“ Thorin whispered and rolled over on his side and caressed her curves with lazy moves, just taking in the texture and feeling of her warm and moist skin.

“Then, if everything goes your way, you will be te luckiest man on this earth in just a month or so.“ Sigrael said with a grin. “Even luckier a few months after that.“

“Without a doubt“. Thorin chuckled and pulled her close to embrace her, but the feeling in his chest that had haunted him for weeks, which so much more easily disappeared when he was with Sigrael, returned, and he let a sigh out.

“What is it?“ Sigrael asked, but Thorin couldn't find words to what he felt, except that it was fear. But he just couldn't describe it. She looked him in his eyes before she let a hand caress his face, and he closed his eyes by her touch and she held him tight. She could sense a bit of fear and she whispered softly to him. “So why do you still fear the quest?”

Thorin didn't even question how she knew it or how she found the words he struggled t say. “Don’t let me fall to the gold sickness like my father and grandfather did, it caused their downfall.” He whispered back and tears formed in his eyes. “I have seen what happens when it catches you and you can’t control it.”

“So listen to us, listen to your company – they will always guide you when you’re in doubt.” She said and let her hands caress his back. “Know that they will do their best to protect you.”

“And you trust that will happen?” he asked and pulled back a little to look her in her eyes.

“I know it, and I have Seen it. Just listen to them.” She smiled and pulled a hand through his hair, knowing she had Seen the true loyalty of the company, and seeing they would be there, no matter what.

“You are indeed the wisest human I have met.” He smiled to her, blinking the tears away.

“Then you haven’t met many humans.” She smiled and kissed his cheek.

“I have met many, but none of them have conquered me like you’ve done.” He sighed and stretched out a hand for her hair, letting bangs of it slip through his fingers. “You're right, I should trust the Company...“ he smiled and felt that some of the knot melted away by just getting the words said.

“Come here...“ Sigrael smiled warmly and rolled over on her back, and Thorin followed and rested his cheek on her chest, and listened to her calm heart beats. She caressed his hair while he let a hand wander up and down her body, and soon the worries were forgotten again. He started to kiss her chest, his lazy touches soon developing to searching and needing ones and she approved them with a hungry moan. “Are we going there again?“ she chuckled as his lips had found her nipples.

“It seems so...“ he whispered and looked up at her, his hungry blue eyes met her grey and desiring ones, and Sigrael knew that for being their last night together in a long time, it would be much pleasant.

*

Sigrael walked beside Thorin as they headed down to where the Master said their boats would be waiting – the departure was early, earlier than many of the others wanted to, as they would rather throw a party the last night, much to Thorin's irritation.

”We're missing one, I think...” Sigrael mumbled as she had looked over her shoulder. ”I'm not sure, not easy to see under all these hats...”

”Well, probably drunk under a table somewhere...” Thorin mumbled under his breath.

”I guess you didn't get to talk with Kili last night?” Sigrael whispered.

”No, he was gone to bed and so were we...” Thorin said and looked at her from the corner of his eye. ”Is he better today?”

”Let's see.” Sigrael said and sighed – now, that would be hard on the poor lad if he had to stay.

She stepped aside as they reached the boat, and the dwarves found their seats in it and placed the luggage on strategic places. Sigrael's heart skipped a beat or two when she saw Kili – he looked horrible. Thorin noticed that too and stopped him as he was about to step down to the boat, trying to explain it short and simple in the hurry, but as expected, Kili wasn't keen on staying behind. Too long had he expected to be there when the doors opened, too long had he dreamed of being among the dwarves who reclaimed Erebor.

As Oin understood what was going on, he insisted on staying behind with Kili. Sigrael walked over to Kili together with him, and Oin wanted to check on Kili. Sigrael bent down in front of him and took his hand in his. ”You're not the only one staying behind.” she said low, and Kili stopped protesting for a moment.

”Why? They will need you, you have the sharpest eyes in the company!” Kili said and looked at her with disbelief. “And if Oin is staying here too, they have no healer!”

”I have other reasons.” she said low and looked at Thorin for a second before she turned to Kili, her heart heavy. ”Besides, your uncle says I can be useful here in Laketown, finding out things for him.”

It was then they heard Fili. ”I will carry him if I must!”

Sigrael's heart ached with Kili's as she heard Thorin's words about the duty of future kings – a duty Fili had never asked for, but was laid upon him as he was born. The same duty that forged the ghosts Thorin was carrying, and she was glad he had decided to not put that duty on their child. It was heartbreaking to see how upset and angered Fili was about this sudden decision.

”You belong with the Company.”

”I belong with my brother.”

Sigrael didn't want to say it out aloud, but Fili was right. Thorin looked at the whole situation with dismay, but he bit his tongue – 5 less, when he hoped for just 2. As Fili walked over to his brother, Sigrael stepped away – he would be for better use than her, so she walked over to Thorin before he entered the boat.

”Hopefully you'll come back with gold. They'll need it here.” Sigrael said and tried to smile, but she hated the fact that this might be the last time she saw him.

”I will.” he said and smiled warmly to her, yet there was worry on his face. They didn't want to display anything in such a public situation, but she couldn't stand the thought that last night could be the last time they shared a bed, that the kiss before the they left the house could be the last, so she embraced him for a short hug. ”Don't do anything hasty here.” Thorin said low.

”Don't do anything I would say you shouldn't do.” she said as they parted.

”I'll remember that.” he said with a short smile before he stepped into the boat.

Bilbo looked up at her with confusion – why wasn't she coming with? “Sigrael...”

“You'll see me soon again.” she smiled warmly to him.

Bilbo looked back at her before he nodded. “Take care.” he smiled, trying to put up his bravest face.

“I will. Take care of yourself, and each other.” she said as she straightened up.

A band played some sort of farewell fanfare, but Sigrael couldn't care less as she watched the boat depart. An unsettling feeling was growing in her chest – she had just done a big mistake, she was sure of that.

”Kili!” a call behind her pulled her back to the presence – Kili collapsed and Bofur, who had seemed to show up without her noticing, was hoisting him up again together with Oin and Fili.

”We better get back, quick.” Sigrael said and got one of Kili's arms over her shoulders.

...

”Excuse me, why, did you say?” Sigrael asked Alfrid who was standing in the door.

”I'm afraid a delegation from Mirkwood is coming during the day, so we can't bring that many of you in. The Master saved a bed for you, since Thorin said you would stay behind.” Alfrid said and seemed to not be very interested in the fact that Kili was ill, really ill, but looking her up and down.

”I can sleep on the floor, as long as we get Kili here to a warm bed so we can treat that wound!” Sigrael hissed as she removed his arm from the shoulder so Fili could carry him for a while. ”We need _one_ bed for Kili, lots of water, some-”

”Here's plenty of water, all around us. I'm afraid I can't help you. Good day.” Alfrid said and closed the door.

”That unibrowed shit!” Sigrael growled and stamped her foot hard on the wooden floor and spat on the door.

”I'll let uncle know that...” Fili growled and his eyes were dark with anger.

”Sure we'll do! But we can discuss that later. Come on.” Sigrael mumbled and marched onwards. There was _one_ she could still ask, if he hadn't started hating them already. But if so, Bofur better ask.


	18. Race Against Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a change of plans, and only time will show if Sigrael did the right choice. And Bilbo is curious, as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long waiting for this update! Real life was a bitch and some people let me down when I needed them the most. Long story short; three months with deaths, disappointments and illness take it's toll and I haven't had the energy to even think of fics... :/ I tried, but it all ended up "MEH" and that wasn't what my stories and readers deserved.
> 
> I hope the long chapter makes up for the waiting :) it's a bit of a chapter that will drive you to the action I have planned, but I hope it works :)
> 
> And if you are still there and waiting for the next update, I just want to say thank you A LOT for your patientence <3

”No, I'm done with dwarves. Go away!” Bard growled as he saw their faces. Now that didn't surprise Sigrael at all, not to mention Ranger. A Ranger ignoring the values of babies and such, she thought to herself, as her level of sarcasm and annoyance was growing higher by each second.

”No!” Bofur said and held the door. ”Nobody will help us, Kili is sick. Very sick...”

In that moment Bard saw Kili's face – for a moment he remained silent, but then he opened the door to let them inside.

”What is it?” Bard asked Sigrael as the dwarves led Kili inside. ”Is it dangerous, to us?”

”Hopefully not. I suspect the arrow that hit him is poisoned. The orcs are getting slyer...” she mumbled as she started to trot around. ”Athelas...”

”King's Foil?” Bofur asked as he heard her say the name of the herb.

“We give that to the pigs!” Bard said in confusion.

”It will slow the poison, enough for a while. If Alfrid spoke the truth and elves from Mirkwood are on their way, I might try to negotiate with them to see if they are familiar with it, and if they know a cure.” Sigrael sighed. “The whole situation is kind of... insane.”

“I go and find King's Foil.” Bofur said and rushed out.

...

It was evening but still no sign of the elves, and Kili had fallen in a deep sleep, only twitching now and then. They had found some athelas to bind the wound with, and it seemed to help a little, but it wasn't enough. Sigrael was sitting in a corner, slumbering a bit herself, gliding in and out of dreams.

”Do you want some tea?” Sigrid asked Sigrael, and Sigrael almost jumped out of her seat as she was pulled out of a restless half-sleep. ”Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!”

”Oh, sorry!” Sigrael said as she saw how the young girl was scared. ”Don't be sorry, I wasn't really sleeping...” she sighed and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. ”Yes thank you, a cup of tea would be great...” she smiled tiredly to Sigrid, who handed her the cup.

”Do you have one for me too?” Fili asked and walked up to them.

”Of course!” Sigrid smiled and poured a cup to him too.

”Thank you.” he smiled friendly to her. He gently blew on he surface of the hot content before he carefully took a sip. He then turned to Sigrael, who looked thoughtful as she just held around her cup. ”Why did you stay behind? Oin is a healer too.”

”I have my reasons. Thorin wanted me to check on things here, but so far it seems like all the Master served us was a good portion of butt-licking and nothing else.” Sigrael sighed. “It seemed like Kili's illness was a bad timing since he had more important visitors coming around...”

”Seems so.” Fili sighed and then looked at her. ”What other reasons do you have?”

”One, and you'll know by time.” Sigrael said and looked up at him, wondering if he had already figured out. ”If you haven't guessed it by now, you'll know soon enough.”

”Oh... ok...” Fili said and shrugged his shoulders and turned to look ou the window, but kept looking at Sigrael now and then, like he expected she would turn into a bird there she sat.

Suddenly it hit Sigrael like a tidewave and she stared ahead of her, but she couldn't see the room anymore – she saw Thorin, slowly and gradually losing his senses and she wanted to run up to him, but she couldn't move. She saw the dragon, gigantic and horrible as it slid around a tiny Bilbo and keeping him captive on the treasure. Laketown was on fire, people starved as the snow was covering the fields around the lake, a massive army was gathering around the mountain. Thorin's dead body buried beneath the mountain. As the room slowly returned, one vision was still hauntning her, and that was one of a newborn boy.

“Sigrael, are you ok? Sigrael?” Fili shook her shoulder, but she slowly got up, her legs trembling.

She looked at Fili, at Kili, Oin, Bofur, and then Bard who stared at her with confusion, and his children. Fate was horrible – the dragon was coming, no matter what, but lives could be saved, that was what her gut told her. But most of all, she needed to follow the rest of the Company to the mountain, if she wanted to see anyone of them alive again.

“Sigrael?” Fili asked again.

“We better fix Kili quickly.” Sigrael said low and was on her way out of the door.

“What was that?” Bard called after her but she was already on her way down the stairs.

She stopped and turned to look at him. “You'll be needing that arrow.”

“What arrow?”

“The one above your kitchen table.” Sigrael said and stared back at him – and then he nodded as he realized she had figured out what kind of arrow that was, before she ran off.

“What was all that?” Fili asked with confusion as Bard returned.

“I think your Ranger here just Saw something.” Bard said, sounding somewhat bitter. “So when she panics, there's a reason to be alerted. We better get your brother fixed up and make a plan.”

...

Sigrael hurried to the Master's house – she prayed that the elves Alfrid has mentioned actually were there. She noticed what Bard had said about this whole place being watched by the Master's men, and she felt provoked – if the Master really worried so much about people being against him, he really didn't deserve to be the Master either. And he was a disgusting pig as well, in her opinion.

It was just then she noticed a movement on the roof that came from no man. In the next moment she hid in the shadows as she planned the route up to the roof to take it down, and then she jumped up on a balcony and climbed up as silent as she could. As she got up, she pulled out the sword she had been given and with silent steps she leapt up for it and sliced the orc's throat before it even knew what happened. Like this she got two more down until she realized how many the orcs were, and they noticed her presence. The alarm went and the situation escalated quickly.

She had one orc hanging around her neck and she thought her luck was out as an arrow came from nowhere and freed her from the creature. She looked at it quickly and recognized the arrow immediately – elves. She continued on her stabbing route as she started to fear for the other's at Bard's, wishing that the elves would be swarming the place soon enough.

It was then she recognized Tilda's scream and she picked up her pace. She leapt between the rooftops on a kick of adrenaline and only stabbed down the orcs who tried to take her down or was standing in her way.

Her run had a sudden stop as she jumped down on a balcony and almost hit an elf that came out of nowhere. “Ouch, sorry, I-” she started until she realized that this elf had crossed her path only a couple of weeks ago. “Tauriel.”

“Sigrael, what is going on?” Tauriel said as she stabbed down an orc without hardly looking at it.

“Long story! Most important: Kili is sick, most likely poisoned by an orc arrow. Can you help him?” Sigrael said, hoping that her suspicions would be useful. After all, Kili had talked suspiciously lot about this elf, for being a dwarf. Though, only when his uncle was out of ear's reach.

“Come. If it's Morgul poison, he needed that help already when the arrow hit him!” Tauriel breathed and leapt onward. “Show me the way!”

“Morgul poison? What-” Sigrael started, surprised by these news.

“Something they started with a short time ago. It's been centuries if not milenniums since last time they used it!” Tauriel hissed and stabbed another orc down.

“Why have nobody told me about this before?” Sigrael groaned, afraid her lack of knowledge had already costed Kili's life.

“Because we thought the knowledge of making the poison was lost.” Tauriel said as they trotted up the stair's to Bard's house.

There the battle continued, and it took some time before the situation was under control. Meanwhile, Kili's pains had grown unbearable for him, and the sight was frightful and Sigrael wondered if it was too late for him. Just then Legolas stood in the door, and Sigrael watched with disappointment as Tauriel turned to leave. But standing in the door, she hesitated – just enough for Bofur to return with the King's Foil.

Tauriel's face was lit with hope as she saw the herb, and she quickly walked inside, with reborn hope on her face. Sigrael helped Oin prepare Kili for what was to come, but he was out of control, he wasn't himself anymore as he writhed and kicked out in pain.

Tauriel walked up to his side and looked at the wound – she could see it had been tended for, but it wasn't enough for the poison that spread through him. She began her healing, and as Sigrael was holding one of Kili's arms, she could feel him slowly relax again. Her eyes watered, as she dared to hope that he would be fine again, despite her fear for him just minutes ago. She caressed his cheek as a pained groan came from him, and he seemed to relax into her touch. She still held his arm with one hand, but he wasn't keen on fighting anymore as Tauriel's healing took effect on him.

Sigrael noticed she cared a lot more for him than just being a fellow companion. She realized she had started to think of him and his brother as family, as someone she couldn't imagine a life without, and it dawned on her that if things actually went the way they seemed to go, she would be his aunt soon. The thought made her smile and she caressed his cheek with a thumb. It was a funny thought, as Kili actually were a few years older than her.

“Now, let's hope it works.” Tauriel said after a while and took a step back. “This should draw the poison out him.”

“Thank you.” Sigrael whispered. “I shall remember this.”

“You better do, it seems like we'll be needing it.” Tauriel said and laid a hand on her shoulder.

…

“No, I'll have to go.” she whispered to Fili as Kili was sleeping.

“Why?” Fili begged. “We're not safe here. Not anywhere.”

“And especially not if I'm not leaving.” Sigrael said low. She then felt somebody approach, and as she turned to see, it was Bard. “Come here.” she whispered to him and he came over to them. “I repeat: I have to go. Everything is doomed to go wrong if I don't. Even if I go, I'm not sure I'll make it in time. So here is my advice: get out of here, find a safe hiding place.”

“What about the rest of the town?” Bard asked, looking worried and not accusing, for a change.

“I don't know. If we go out and say a dragon is coming, we'll cause panic. But we can't let all of them be left behind either.” Sigrael sighed, getting stressed.

“I can see if I can figure out something, maybe some sort of evacuation plan.” Bard said low.

“Great.” Sigrael sighed and then looked at the door. I have to go now. I wish you luck.” she said and hugged them.

“Same to you. Now, go!” Fili sighed and tried to smile.

…

Now, at least she had some luck in this, even when it was in the middle of the night. Sigrael grinned as she found an elvish horse in the stable, knowing something of what Alfrid said had been true. She found the saddle and the reins and approached the horse.

“ _I need your help tonight. You must bring me to the northern end of this lake, I can't walk it fast enough myself._ ” she whispered to it.

The horse gently neighed and lowered it's head to help her get the reins on. “ _Thank you._ ” she smiled and started to prepare the horse.

She trotted out of the stable, hoping that nobody noticed her leaving the town. She pulled the hood over her head and said nothing to the guard who sat by the landbridge, hoping he took her for being one of the elves.

*

“Thorin...” Bilbo whispered as he walked up to Thorin, careful to not wake up the others. It was night and they were still sailing towards the mountain. The rest of the company slept in different positions across the deck, with blankets pulled up to their noses to keep them protected from the wind.

Thorin was on guard, looking at the mountain who slowly approached, and he just turned his face towards Bilbo as he carefully jumped across the others. “What are you up to, Bilbo?” he said low as the hobbit sat down beside him.

“Why isn't Sigrael coming with us?” Bilbo asked and pulled his blanket tighter around himself.

Thorin was silent for a second too long and Bilbo had a feeling that something more was going on. “I want her to keep an eye on what is going in Laketown, and to keep an eye on Kili. He's not well and needs extra care, and I don't trust strangers to do that.”

“But Oin went with him also. We are without a healer now, the very reason Gandalf wanted her to come with us.”

“Kili needs her more than we'll do. If there's a dragon and it moves before us, we won't need a healer.” Thorin said and smiled a bitter smile.

“Still, it could be that we need her.” Bilbo shrugged his shoulders.

“Then we'll send a message for her to come.” Thorin said and turned the boat a bit more to the right before he sat back down.

They remained silent for some more time before Bilbo spoke to him again. “Bard said something that I can't get off from my mind.”

“What did he say?” Thorin sighed – he wasn't especially fond of that man, yet he sympathized with him, as he seemed to carry the burdens of his forefathers in much the same way as Thorin did.

“He seeked me and Sigrael yesterday as we were sitting outside and enjoying a pipe together. He wanted to know if we were to go for the mountain together, and as Sigrael more or less told him to shut up about prophecies, he asked her if she really was willing to... risk the most valuable she had.” Bilbo said low and looked at Thorin with a frown. “What did he mean?”

Thorin looked thoughtful, but he did his best to not reveal how hard his mind worked those seconds before he answered; Sigrael was sick as he picked them up by the riverside, and he had a family of his own. He might have recognized what was going on, which he suspected that a couple of the other dwarves did as well. Bilbo was picking up the tracks, and it stressed Thorin when he thought nobody else than he and Sigrael knew. “It might be his way of trying to make us back out and leave the whole idea.”

“You two are so secretive.” Bilbo said with a small smile and Thorin looked at him. “You and Sigrael. It has been something between you since the beginning, and none of us has understood what it was. Suddenly you were sharing a bed together in Laketown. And now she's left behind.”

“I prefer to not be an open book.” Thorin smiled and looked at the mountain again. Well, he knew Bilbo and Sigrael had grown close, so it would be more surprising if he hadn't suspected anything.

“That is for sure...” Bilbo smiled and shook his head. He knew it for sure now – Thorin and Sigrael was hiding something, but they were holding their cards close to their chests. He guessed he had to be patient.

“You then? Are there any secrets we don't know about?” Thorin said and fished his pipe out his pocket and started to stuff it with pipeweed.

“I'm afraid I'm as Bagginses most – quite ordinary and boring, enjoying the simple life.” Bilbo shrugged his shoulders.

“Yet you are here, in a boat with 9 dwarves and heading for a mountain where a dragon might be sleeping.” Thorin said with lifted eyebrows before he lit his pipe and carefully inhaled to make the weed glow and burn.

“I blame the Tookish side of my family for that.” Bilbo said and chuckled a little. “When it comes to women, since I sense that you are insinuating them,” he said and looked at Thorin through the corner of his eye and saw that the dwarve's lips curled into a smile, “I must disappoint you. They have crossed my paths, but so far I haven't found the one I think would fit in perfectly under the Hill.”

Thorin inhaled deeply from his pipe before he sent it to Bilbo. He slowly let the smoke out through his nostrils, trying to deny the feeling of loneliness now as he found himself sitting in the night without Sigrael for the first time in months. Months filled with denials and frustration, before accepting the feelings and surrender to them before having them relieved and pleased. And now he felt that it gradually turned into longing and loneliness.

“Women. Why is it that we can't be without them when we so many times think that they are just bothering us?” Bilbo asked out in the air, blowing a ring of smoke before he handed the pipe back to Thorin.

“Because they keep our world together, since we men are masters in tearing it apart with our childish pride.” Thorin said and inhaled more smoke. Bilbo looked at him and Thorin chuckled. “That was what my father used to say.”

“He did?” Bilbo laughed, finding it hard to imagine that a King could have said that.

“At least he did so, as long as my mother and grandmother lived.” Thorin said and silence fell over them for a few moments.

“When did they... die?”

“Smaug.” Thorin said and Bilbo felt a lump in his throat. “Later on it was my sister who glued the family together. Especially after Fili and Kili were born, somebody needed to be in charge.”

“And not you?” Bilbo teased.

“I tried, but I realized at some point that she did better than me.” Thorin said with a smile.

“So how is she, your sister? You've never told anything about her.”

“Dwalin says she's what our mother used to be.” Thorin smiled and handed the pipe to Bilbo again. “As long as you don't trifle with her, she's a sweet and caring person, she always knows how to cheer up her sons on a bad day. But if you cross the line, you would rather face a pack of orcs than being her object of justice.”

“Sounds like she's the one in charge, yes.” Bilbo chuckled and shook his head.

*

Sigrael galloped through the night – she didn't dare to sleep yet, in case the alarm was raised in Laketown and the elves realized what was going on. It wasn't until a few hours after sunrise she was too tired to go on that she dared to sleep for two sacred hours, and then she woke up because of hunger. She managed to fetch a trout from the lake and fried it over a small fire, and soon she was on her way again.

By noon she could spot the ship in the distance, and her heart sank. Within the next day they would reach the shore just south of the mountain, and the day after that they would be there, but she would need at least three more days to get there, if not more. “ _Mellon nin, this will be a long ride.._ ” she whispered to the horse, but it just shook it's head and continued. She smiled and patted his neck, glad that these elvish horses understood far more than their relatives.

Like this she continued her journey, only stopping to find some food or to sleep for an hour or two. Meanwhile, she got a lot of time to think; was Thorin already starting to lose his mind? What could she do to keep him from it? Would they live to see their son?

Many times the tears ran down her cheeks, but she couldn't give up. She had to hope that somehow she could pull him away from the madness. Maybe the amounts of gold was the source of the problem, maybe the solution was found there. Or maybe moving of focus points... She really had no answers, only suggestions, and frustration grew in her heart.

…

It was sunset on the third day that she finally reached Dale. She jumped down from the horse and carefully took off the reins and the bridles and packed them away and in the saddle bags. “ _You better get away as fast as you can. Run back to your home in the forests, don't look back. This will get ugly._ ” she said low and patted the horse's neck. “ _Thank you for your help._ ” she whispered and kissed it's mule before she patted the shoulder and it turned to leave.

She looked after the horse for a few minutes and watched as he ran away, free to find his own path home. Soon he was only an auburn spot far away in the desolation and hardly visible against the brown-grey ground beneath his hooves.

Sigrael was glad she travelled lightly as she followed the path to the mountain; she hadn't eaten much, and what usually was enough to keep her going with all her things, was barely enough now, even though she carried only herself and the clothes she was wearing, and her few weapons; a bow, a sword and a couple of daggers. The unborn child drained her for more than she had expected.

When the night came, she found a large boulder to sleep beneath, that kept her safe from the wind. She guessed she could reach the mountain with just an hours walk, but she was too tired. She needed her rest now. When she looked at the mountain, she wondered if her companions had made it, if Thorin was home again. Or if they all had been burned to ashes by Smaug already.

*

She woke up by the ground shaking beneath her, and for a moment she wondered if it was an earthquake. The ground stilled, but she realized the horror as she looked up at the mountain and could hear the distant thunder of what had to be a raging dragon.

“Thorin...” she whispered and started to run – it was definitely not the wisest decision she had made, but her heart told her to run the best she could. She had no idea about how to get inside the mountain, but her feet leaded her.

She stopped by the gate – it was ruined, it was no way she could have gotten in there even if she tried. She looked around, her chest rising and sinking quickly with each breath, trying to find any sign of the dwarves except from the fact that the dragon was awake.

It was then she saw it – a small staircase. She followed it with her eyes, and far up, on a shelf, she saw what she had been looking for; a hacker, given to them by the master. It had to be it. She started to climb the stairs, hoping she wasn't too late.

…

The dwarves were sneaking around in the mountain, trying to keep away from Smaug on their way to a safer place. So far, it seemed like the western guardroom was their only option, despite Balin's doubt. “It's our only chance”, Thorin whispered. “We have to try.”

They started to walk out on a bridge, each step carefully made to not make a noise. They were almost halfway as they noticed something coming in their direction. All of them raised their weapons and started to retreat to where they came from as the dim light revealed the truth.

“I could hear you long before I saw you.” Sigrael whispered as she was close enough to be heard. “Smaug must be deaf on his older days.”

“Sigrael!” Bilbo whispered in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

Thorin stared at her in utter shock before he whispered, his face drained from all colour. “You should not be here.”

“By the end of this, you'll be glad I came – if we are to survive it.” Sigrael whispered.

“I left you behind so you had better chances of surviving!” Thorin hissed as low as he could.

“Not according to what my guts told me.” Sigrael said and lifted her eyebrows a little.

“You should have gone anywhere but here!” Thorin sighed and laid his hands on her shoulders as fear started to grow in his heart. He looked her up and down, wondering why she had done this, there had to be a reason for leaving safety. He looked up in her face, there she stood a little taller than him. “We better find a way, quickly.” he growled, thinking he was not done with her. Not only had she left Laketown, but she had also gone against his orders and put herself and the child in danger. He started to walk, looking ahead.

They had barely taken three steps before the sound of a clattering coin made them all freeze in their tracks. Bilbo started to check if a coin had hid between the folds of this tunic, but then they noticed the breath of moving air above them and they all looked up.

Sigrael's eyes widened as she for the first time in her life saw a dragon. Smaug was too busy to look up and around to see what was going on beneath him. Slowly the company started to walk, hurrying as slow as they could to not pull attention, and Sigrael couldn't take her eyes off the sight until they walked around a column. Smaug was truly magnificent and terrifying, and she started to doubt their chances of killing him and she wondered what she had really imagined when joining the quest.


	19. Horrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigrael finds the company and reveals her vision to Thorin. But what will he do, with his mind getting corrupted by each minute?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I'm back on track again! Watching BotFA inspired me greatly, so my writing spirit is finally back after a loooooong holiday. It didn't help with school and moving in between job and a busy private life. But it couldn't stop me now! HAH!
> 
> And happy holidays to all of you who read this :3

The miles they sneaked around in long and empty halls to make it to the western guardroom seemed endless, but Thorin's memory didn't fail them. They hurried the last steps up, but it came to a sudden hault at the sight that met them – the way out was closed, and on the floor ahead of them the bodies of a dusin dwarves and children laid aspread, holding on to each other in death. Sigrael couldn't find a word; the looks on the Company's faces as they saw what was left of their kin was heartbreaking, and she wondered why she hadn't expected this.

“That's it then. There's no way out.” Dwalin said silently.

“The last of our kin.” Balin said, his voice filled with sorrow. “They must have come here, hoping, beyond hope...”

Sigrael's throat became a dry knot at these words, and she took Thorin's hand as she could sense his sorrow and fear. This sight was not what they had expected or hoped to see, knowing these dwarves had been waiting for death to come to them, and that their waiting took time, a long time. And that this had been their last chance, that there was no other way out.

“We could try to reach the mines.” Balin suggested. “We might last a few days.”

“No” Thorin said and stepped ahead, getting a determined look on his face. “I will not die like this.” he said low, and Sigrael's guts tightened – the realization sunk in at his words, that this would most likely be the death of them all, no matter what they did. “Cowering.” he continued. “Clawing for breath. We make for the forges.” Thorin said as he turned around to face them again, and some of his old pride and determination was back.

“He'll see us, sure as death.” Dwalin said and shook his head a little.

“Not if we split up.” Thorin said low.

“Thorin...” Balin said and took a step closer to his king. “We'll never make it.”

“Some of us might.” Thorin said and looked at Sigrael before he looked at Balin. “Lead him to the forges. We kill the dragon.” there was a break before Thorin spoke again and now the fire was back in his eyes. “If this is to end in fire, then we will all burn together.”

“Thorin...” Sigrael stepped ahead. “This is madness.”

“Do you have a better suggestion?” Thorin said and walked up to her. She looked him in his eyes, before she looked down – she had no suggestions at all. Then Thorin embraced her and pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. “You should not have come here. We'll get you out, you need to get out.”

“Thorin, I came here to protect you.” Sigrael said low.

“From what?” he asked, and she decided to lead him away from the company and walked out the door and just around the corner.

“Yourself.” she whispered. “You know what I'm speaking of, I can already see it.” she begged as she let her hand caress his hair, slide through it before holding some locks of it between her fingers.

Thorin looked at her for a long moment before he cupped her cheek. “How?” he whispered.

“I Saw. I hope my arrival can save us from more damage than necessary, but then I need you to listen to me, to us.” she whispered. She saw that Balin was looking through the door, but she didn't care right now.

“What did you see?” Thorin whispered.

“The dragon was alive, and I saw you slowly losing your mind. Laketown was burning and the people starved. I saw armies coming, and I saw you buried beneath this mountain. And I saw our son.” Sigrael whispered, almost hissed, through gritted teeth, begging that he would listen.

Thorin stared at her for a long moment before he spoke again. “We better get rid of that dragon then, if our son is to live? There are small chances of getting all of us out the way we came in, but if we could even delay the dragon a little... Saving as many of us as we can, get away and make a new plan now as we know what is waiting for us.”

Sigrael smiled, glad that he listened, she just hoped he would continue to do so. He cupped her cheek and kissed her, before he rested his forehead against hers. They stood like that for a few moments, holding each other close. “Know that I love you...” he whispered and caressed her hair.

“And that I love you...” Sigrael whispered back. “Please, don't let me raise our son alone...”

“I'll be there. I will.”

…

“What is that?” Gloin whispered as Balin returned.

“Our Ranger has a useful talent, let's just hope she can help us now.” Balin whispered.

“I know, but I was thinking of... them.” Gloin said and nodded his head in the direction of the couple.

“Not all things are meant for our ears, not yet.” Balin said low, having his suspicions.

Bilbo looked at Balin before he looked at the floor as it dawned on him. He didn't know for sure, but it all made sense now. He wouldn't say anything, but more than ever he hoped they would get rid of that dragon; the thought of Thorin losing more than one he loved was heartwrenching, as he had already lost more than most of them. And then it was Sigrael – Bilbo didn't want her to live the same story as her mother had done.

In the next moment Thorin came back, looking more determined than Bilbo thought is was possible to look. “Come on. We have a dragon to slay.”

*

“So, we are to search for the forges then.” Sigrael whispered as she trotted alongside with Balin, Bilbo and Thorin. “Right or left?”

“Right.” Thorin said and turned around the corner and the others followed him. “I just hope the plan works.” he said low.

“So how do you plan to get me out then, since that was so important for you?” Sigrael said low.

“There should be a tunnell from the forges and up to the King's hall. If you make it, you might find a way through the ruined entrance. At least somewhere to hide.”

“The gates are sealed, Thorin!” Balin said as they ran over a bridge.

“Smaug might have made a passage through it, since he needs to get out to feed from time to time, and-”

They came to a sudden stop as Smaug suddenly towered over them. To have Smaug coming towards them and telling them to flee for their lives, almost made Sigrael actually run, but she stayed close to Thorin, knowing that the next group was ready to lead Smaug away and give them some time.

It felt like an eternity but it was just a few seconds before she could hear Dori yelling at Smaug from one of the other bridges. Soon a chain reaction of yelling dwarves and a climbing dragon was set in motion and Sigrael ran after Thorin as soon as he moved.

“That was damn close!” she breathed.

“You call that close?!” Bilbo gasped behind her.

“Wait and see lassie, this won't be the last time!” Balin grumbled under his breath.

“Run!” Thorin barked as he was running first of them and Sigrael took the hint. Save the breath for running instead of calling.

…

“This way, come on!” Balin shouted and called for Bilbo, Sigrael and Thorin to follow him through a passage.

“Thorin!” Bilbo called and Thorin halted and turned.

Just as he was about to follow them, Smaug appeared from the end of the hallway.

Sigrael stared at Smaug from where she was standing beside Balin, and then at Thorin – at for a moment she could see a flicker of fear on his face and she stared at him, her heart pouding so fast it hurt. “Thorin!”

“Follow Balin!” he said, most to Sigrael as he looked at her a last time and turned to run down to the other end of the hallway as Smaug breathed another blast of fire towards them.

As Thorin ran down the hall and jumped down the passage with Smaug's fire at his heels, Sigrael feared it was the end of him and she felt sick watching the flames rush by the entrance of their passage. As the fire settled seconds after, she saw Smaug stamp by, heading for where Thorin had disappeared.

It was too much for her, she couldn't keep her head cool anymore; if Thorin got away from the flames, he was now trapped. She leapt out from the small passage, still with a tiny hope in her chest flickering through the panic. “THORIN!” she screamed out with all the power her lungs could muster as she saw the tail of the dragon disappear.

“SIGRAEL COME BACK!” Balin shouted but she was already on her way.

She thought she was running alone, but Dwalin showed up at the same time. “Thorin!!” he roared with a hope for an answer, but all they could hear was Smaug. Dwalin took action and smashed the lock that prevented the tram from being pulled up, and as Sigrael saw the rope stop for then starting to wind up, she ran forwards to the edge.

She felt like she was about to puke as Thorin for a moment was standing on Smaug's snout and there was nothing she could do; either it was the jaws of a fire-breathing dragon or a free drop of unknown duration. She could see the glow from Smaug's throat and her eyes watered.

Just then she heard something creaking, and in the next moment the lever collapsed and before she had gotten to turn her head, she saw it drop. Thorin reacted quickly, jumped aside to grap one of the other ropes, and bought himself a moment as he continued upwards by the help of the other dwarves. As he reached the edge she had already gotten up on her legs and pulled him to safety as another blast of fire followed him.

“Thank goodness...” she whispered as she pulled him with her.

“Come on!!” Dwalin called to gather all of them and get them to safety in the forge.

“I told you to follow Balin...” Thorin whispered as they made it to the forge.

“Oh shut up.” Sigrael growled and quickly kissed Thorin. “Now, what's next?”

“The ovens are dead cold!” Balin called with annoyance. “There's no fire hot enough!”

“Really?” Thorin smirked and turned back to see Smaug climbing up. “You have grown slow and fat in your adulthood!” he called from the columns that parted the dragon from them. “Slug.”

The fury in Smaug's eyes was beyond anything Sigrael had seen, and there was one thing she knew about dragons; you should never, ever insult them. “Thorin...” she said low and trotted towards a large rock column as far from the dragon as possible.

“Take shelter!!” Thorin yelled and the dwarves weren't a second too quick to find it as a burst of flames rushed past them. It was burning her skin even though it didn't touch her and the moment the flames stopped she let a long breath of relief out, and a smirk grew on her face as she saw that the fires were going. Thorin was already commanding the others to different tasks while Smaug tried to make his way in.

“Sigrael, you climb up those stairs – it's pretty sheltered up there, he shouldn't see you that easily if we do our job here.” Thorin said low and pushed her towards some almost hidden staircases.

“But Thorin, what about you, all of you-”

“We are quick thinkers, don't worry. GO!” Thorin said and pushed her back so she had to run up the first stairs. As she looked back, Thorin was already preparing for the dragon who would be upon them in any moment and she ran the fastest she could.

Soon she was several metres above everything that happened and with fear she watched the scene. No matter what they did, it didn't stop the dragon, not even when Bilbo pulled a handle that made water burst out over the dragon. A series of events happened, but her heart stopped beating as she saw Thorin running between Smaug's legs and aimed for a vein of melted gold.

She couldn't stand it – she ran along this path that once must have been for safety and control over the forge and made it over some smashed columns. She couldn't see him anymore, but her guts told her to take a turn to the right and as she did, she suddenly found herself standing far up under the ceiling and looking down on what had to be a giant hall for feasts and dances.

She ducked and hid behind one of the few reilings she had observed here in Erebor as Smaug entered with a loud thunder, and Sigrael found herself being the horrified witness as the dragon decided to take out his anger on Laketown. Bilbo was braver than her, as he dared to speak against the dragon and by that give Thorin the few moments needed to take Smaug's attention again.

This was the critical point of the plan, and Sigrael slowly sneaked along the path to where she believed a possible exit where, due to the breath of fresh air she could smell. She tried to ignore the scene, too horrified to look, but as Smaug was taken by the wave of melted gold, she had to take a look.

For a moment the floor was covered by a sea of gold, and it looked beautiful. Then Smaug burst up again, more furious than ever, and smashed his way out, swearing revenge.

The plan had failed. Smaug got away, and he would come back. That was as certain as death.

Sigrael ran down a staircase that ended close to the new entrance, and as she stood there, she realized she couldn't have got out here this way; Smaug seemed to ceal the entrance for each time he went in and out of the mountain, except this time. That scared her, it was like a cat playing with the mouse. Or mices, in this case.

She followed Bilbo out, and saw the dragon disappear over Dale, heading for Laketown.

“What have we done?” Bilbo breathed out.

“Caused death.” Sigrael whispered; all this, because of a failed attempt to reclaim a mountain and slay a dragon. Because they had made a quick decision. Because Thorin wanted her out of the mountain quick as possible. Because she carried his child.

She felt her legs trembling and she sat down on a huge block – no matter how much she knew it was pathetic to blame herself for this, she now felt a feeling of guilt sneak into her heart, and it would always linger there in a dark corner. No matter how many years she would live after this.

“We're still all of us?” Thorin shouted out to the ruined gate and his voice pulled her out of the melancholia.

“Aye, all of us!” Balin called back.

Thorin drew a relieved breath as he had feared the worst when Sigrael disappeared out of his sight. He ran over to the entrance and she was just standing there, dusting her clothes. “Bless my beard you're alive.” Thorin whispered and cupped her cheek.

“For now.” Sigrael said, her voice trembling. “Smaug isn't dead. And he's heading for Laketown. Four of us is still there – I don't know if they got out of the town as I told them to, I really don't know.”

Thorin's face lost all colour as he realized the fact. “Fili... Kili...” he whispered and turned to look across the lake. “May Mahal watch over them.”

“I warned them. I hope they took me seriously and got out as soon as Kili was ready to be transported, he still needed time to recover.” she whispered. “I would have taken them with me if it wasn't for that.”

“Sh, come here...” Thorin said low and pulled her into his arms. “You warned them, I guess they prepared for a quick leave and gathered all that is needed so they could leave on a quick notice. They're clever, despite their attitude.” Thorin said and smiled to her. “And Oin and Bofur is with them. Did you tell the Master?”

“That is a different story...” Sigrael sighed.

“Why so?” Balin asked – he had heard their conversation and walked up to them, and soon all of the company stood around Sigrael and Thorin.

“Long version short; they had obviously expected only me to stay there, so when 5 of us showed up and one really sick, Alfrid slammed the door in our face, claiming there was nothing they could do, since they waited for important guests from the Woodland realm.” Sigrael sighed. “So I convinced Bard to let us in. He and his daughters were helpful, but the one saving Kili's life was...” here she swallowed hard and steadied her breath. “Tauriel.”

“Tauriel?”

“The female elf??”

“The captain when we were captured.” Thorin said low and looked at her with a confused and doubtful look.

“She and... what was his name... Legles... Legols... Legolas! Thranduil's son! They followed a group of orcs that had followed us, and it all ended up with battling orcs.” Sigrael sighed and shook her head. “This long story isn't getting any shorter, isn't it?”

“No.” Bilbo said and shook his head. “Go on! We haven't had time to hear anything!”

“But before I continue, I think it's clever if we get out of here.” Sigrael said as she realized they were still standing in the entrance.

“She's right.” Gloin said and looked south. “Once he's done burning Laketown, he'll be coming back here, and I don't want to stand here, waiting to be roasted.”

“Agreed.” Dwalin said and the group hurried on outside.

“I suggest the hill up there.” Balin said and pointed towards a hill between Erebor and Dale. “We'll see him, and we're hopefully out of range.”

“Good plan.” Thorin said and took the lead.

“But go on Sigrael!” Dori called from the back.

“Yes... The orcs attacked, but together with Tauriel and Legolas, we fought them off. But as Tauriel was about to leave, Bofur came running back with King's foil in his hands, since I and Oin told him to go look for it before the orcs attacked. Tauriel saw it, and she healed Kili.”

“Really?”

“Why would she do that? Heal a dwarf?”

“Believe it or not, but some elves actually do have empathy!” Sigrael sighed. “And it was then I took my leave, as the orcs were driven away and Legolas followed them. Tauriel was still there when I left, and I have no idea what has happened since.”

“How did you get here though?” Nori asked curiously.

“I sort of... borrowed... a horse from the stable where the elves kept them. They have faster horses than others could provide, so... If Thranduil is angry with it, I could always hand him a jewel from my share. If I live to do that, and if we find a way to get rid of the dragon.” Sigrael shrugged her shoulders.

“You will, because our ways will part at the hill here.” Thorin said and looked over his shoulder. “I'll give you some time to rest, but after that you have to find refuge somewhere safe.”

“Thorin...” Sigrael started.

“Not here, not now.” Thorin said low.

Behind their backs, a few of the dwarves gave each other confused looks; why on earth was Thorin so protective towards Sigrael and desperate to get her away? Bilbo felt unsettled by it all; she was an outsider like him, so why would he stay while she had to go? He found her far more useful than him, she had hopefully helped saving Kili's life if the group left in Laketown had followed her advice, and she was a far more skilled fighter than he was. Something wasn't right, that and the weird behavior Thorin had showed down in the vaults with hoarded gold; no friend of his had ever put a weapon that close to his chest before.

And then they reached the top, and to their horror the city was already burning. All of them stood there and stared, and Sigrael sunk down on a rock and buried her face in her hands and started to sob; here she was and still breathing and without a single burn, while people lost their homes and all they had, or even worse; their loved ones, if they weren't burned to ashes.

“Sigrael...” Thorin said low and knelt before her.

“This is just so unfair. They lose their lives, while we sit here. On the other hand, it feels like I'm waiting for my doom.” she whispered.

“You will live.” Thorin said and kissed her forehead.

“It feels like a poor comfort when I look around...” she mumbled.

“To survive dragon fire... you should be happy.” Thorin said and got up.

Sigrael froze and looked up; he wasn't even looking at the town, he was heading down the stairs, and there he stood, looking at the entrance. She hoped it was a poorly spoken comfort, but there was something cold about the way he said it and it was unsettling. As she studied him, he didn't seem moved at all. He stood there like a rock and she wondered what his face looked like. Was he angry, confused, upset? Or maybe scared, since he didn't know what had happened to his nephews? Or was this the beginning of the illness? The thought scared her and she looked away, it was too much to take in at the moment.

Sigrael rested her forehead in her palm and gazed towards the town, which was now burning red. She couldn't hear anything, but she could imagine the horrors. And she felt like she had failed everyone.


	20. A Reason to Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigrael is starting to get worried about Thorin, but in the middle of it all, they have found reasons to hope. A little flame that gives reasons to hope and believe, so be aware, there is a little bit of fluff in there. A liiitle bit! Maybe I should tag the fluff...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I'm getting more productive after the shitty autumn. I have so many ideas to work on now, dear gods! Feel free to leave comments, they might push me in the right direction, you know! ;)

“Smaug is dead...” Sigrael whispered as she realized the dragon wasn't raising up again. “He's dead.” she repeated as to make herself realize it.

For a long moment the Company stood there and stared at the town, waiting for the dragon to raise up again, scared of believing he was dead. But as several minutes went by, all of them came to the conclusion and shouts of joy and warm embraces were shared; they were safe. Smaug was dead and Erebor was back in the hands of dwarves.

“Wait, where's Thorin?” Dwalin asked as he noticed one was missing.

“He's down there...” Bilbo pointed out after looking around. “On his way back.”

This unsettled Sigrael; one should believe Thorin would share their brief moment of joy, but no. He was in his own thoughts and world and the distance between him and the rest of the company grew as they watched him enter the mountain. Sigrael guessed why; he wasn’t the most optimistic of dwarves, it wasn’t unlikely that he presumed his nephews to be dead.

...

“Poor lads...” Balin whispered as they entered the ruined gates of Erebor. “I wonder if they got out...” the joy of Smaug's death didn't last for long, now most of them worried for those of them who were left behind in Laketown.

“I don't know... We can only hope.” Sigrael whispered and looked at him.

“I don't know if Thorin will handle the loss.” Balin said with a trembling voice. “He was like a father to them, after the tragic accident that took their father away. They were his reason to do what he did. And now he doesn’t have heirs...”

“That... is not entirely true...” she said low and cleared her throat.

“How?” Balin turned to look at her.

“I...” Sigrael started with a sigh, deciding it was about time to tell somebody. She didn't fully trust Thorin after what she had seen the last hours, those flickers in his eyes; some tough days and weeks were ahead and she had to find support in others. She felt bad for doing so, when Thorin was supposed to be the one she trusted more than anything, but what she had Seen was about to happen. She needed help and support. “I'm pregnant, Balin. Thorin is the father of the child.”

Balin looked at her for a long moment, before there was a small smile on his face. “Then we still have a reason to keep our hopes up.” he said and walked up to her and took her hands in his. “It shall not end with this.”

Sigrael's eyes filled with tears at Balin's words and she embraced him in a tight hug. The old dwarf was first surprised, but then he chuckled and patted his hands on her back; despite all they had been through the last days and the uncertainty of the fate of some of the company's members, the news was a flicker of light in all of this.

“Why those smiles? 4 of us might never come back!” a rough voice asked and as Sigrael let go of Balin and turned around; it was Dwalin. He seemed to be as upset about the situation as Balin had been just moments ago, and Balin looked at Sigrael – she understood his intentions and nodded.

“Brother... the reason I smile, is because of what Sigrael just told me.” Balin said and laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently. He looked around, saw that the rest of the company had gone ahead of them, and knew it was safe to share the news. Dwalin frowned a bit and Balin’s smile grew wider as he revealed the little secret to his brother. “She's carrying Thorin's child!”

Dwalin's frown quickly turned into a look of surprise and shock and for a moment, he just stared at Sigrael as if he expected her to magically make a baby appear out of nowhere. “Bless my beard...!” he finally said and walked up to her and embraced her in what had to be the tightest hug she had experienced. “And he who said he would never have his own children! He just had to meet the right one, it seems!”

Sigrael was surprised she had not fainted as Dwalin let her go and she rubbed her ribs a little – a miracle the rib she broke a couple of months ago didn't snap, but she couldn't help but smile at Dwalin's reaction. This was the first time she had ever seen Dwalin with wet eyes and she now understood what they had meant with the dwarves' close bonding to kin and family. He looked at her again and cupped her cheek as he spoke again, his voice thick with emotions. “I'm glad you bring some light in these dark tides.”

“But there's just one thing, brother.” Balin sighed and Sigrael hoped this one thing was Thorin himself – she couldn't be the only one to see where he was going.

“Thorin.” Dwalin said low. “Aye... I've seen it too.”

“It's the Dragon sickness, isn't it?” Sigrael said, somehow glad to find that Balin and Dwalin saw it too.

“I'm afraid it is, lass.” Balin sighed. “I guess Thorin is aware of the child?”

“He is.” Sigrael said low and sat down on a block of hewed stone, ripped out of it's place by Smaug. “I... I found out in Laketown, and I told him. That was the reason he wanted me to stay behind.”

“Then why did you come back?” Balin asked and sat down beside her.

“Because I Saw. I saw Laketown burning, and I hope the rest of us got out there in time, as I warned them what was coming and that they had better get away. I still have hope for them.” she said and smiled a bit. It was good to tell them the entire reason why she was there.

“That gives us reason to believe they made it.” Balin said kindly.

“I hope so, though one are never certain.” Sigrael sighed. “And... I saw Thorin falling into madness. I saw armies, and I saw...” her voice broke here and she did her best to steady it. “I saw Thorin buried under this mountain, and I saw our son! I couldn't just sit there and wait for the news!”

Balin and Dwalin looked at each other – so, Thorin was really falling under the same curse as his grandfather. They both had learned Sigrael's story by now, by either sharing stories with each other or speaking with Thorin, and they knew she was raised as the lonely child of her mother, as her father had fled from the duty of becoming a father. The least they wanted was to see Sigrael as a lonely mother because of Thorin getting himself killed as a consequence of the disease that has taken a hold on his mind.

“Sigrael, listen to me now.” Dwalin said low, knelt before her, and took her hands in his. “No matter the outcome of this, you will never stand alone with the child. If necessary, I will take Thorin's place in order to keep the both of you safe and in good care. And I will do that both because I have learned to care for you – come on, you can be as stubborn as us, it's just the beard that doesn't make you a dwarf!” he said and smiled a bit and even Sigrael had to laugh as a welcome break from the sobs. He was right, she lacked the beard, and her lack of height had made her feel more in place with the dwarves than with her kinsmen dunedains. “Second, because this child will be Thorin's heir if Fili and Kili didn't get out of Laketown. Third – because I have sworn to Thorin to protect him and his kin as long as there's a breath in me. Don't fear for the child or yourself, because you will never have to stand alone.”

Sigrael looked at him and a small smile of gratitude was to be seen on her trembling lips. “I always thought of you as a rough guy with a love for cookies and splitting orc skulls, Dwalin. But now I see you have a really soft and lovely side behind that tough shell of yours.” she said and all three of them had to laugh a little, despite the serious situation.

“But there's one thing I wonder about...” Balin asked kindly. “How long have you been pregnant?”

“About three months.” Sigrael sighed. “So, it seems like he's going to stay.” she said and smiled bravely, knowing that the first critical period was over now. She hadn't realized it until now, and it made her relieved.

“So in about 5 or 6 months the child will be here. That will depend on if the pregnancy runs as for a dwarf, 8 months, or human.” Balin said and laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Should we... let Thorin know that we know?” Dwalin asked low.

“I think that first of all, I will speak with him. I have no idea if his mind is capable of keeping track with the little one growing now as he is seeking comfort with the gold, but I should tell him that the first three months have passed without problems, despite the lack of food, so he can count on the child coming. I have no idea what you dwarves do when it comes to declaring the coming of a child.” Sigrael sighed and rubbed her temples.

“Usually it's declared once the belly is starting to grow.” Dwalin said and shrugged his shoulders.

“Well...” Sigrael sighed and lifted her shirt and caressed the belly –the tiniest bump was now visible. “I'm skinny and pregnant, so he could declare it this evening if he wanted to...” This was the only thing that kept worrying her about the child; she should have gained more weight by now, and she could still risk losing the little one because of her condition.

“If he wants to declare things now, we won't say anything. But if he chooses to wait a week or two, let us know.” Balin smiled to her. “We'll be backing you up.”

*

Sigrael found Thorin as he was standing in front of the hills of gold. She had to admit it; the sight impressed even her. This could ensure generations after generations, without worrying for income. But it scared her at the same time, and as she watched him from a distance, where he was walking restlessly around, there was a look in his eyes she didn't like at all. It didn't look like the Thorin she knew before he left Laketown. Back then he dreamed of sharing the treasure and build the cities to become what they once were, but now he kept on counting all he saw and spoke lowly about how to store it away, in safety from the claws of the outside, and whispering about where the Arkenstone was. When Sigrael looked at the mountains of gold, jewels and precious items, she knew it could take years to locate it.

“Thorin?” Sigrael asked carefully as she walked up beside him.

“What troubles you?” Thorin asked and looked at her.

“There are a few things I think we should speak about.” she said and took his hands in hers. “First of all, I'm terribly worried over Bofur, Oin, Fili and Kili. But I hope they followed my warning and got into safety. I told them what I Saw, so if we have a bit of luck they are on their way over here now.”

“I hope and pray for that.” Thorin sighed and Sigrael was relieved to see that the veil of madness seemed to slip away from his eyes and his facial features turned softer. “I can never forgive myself if we lose them. And Dis... She knew they were needed, but she was just as happy about it as I was. It just had to be that way, but I promised her that she would see her sons again. And all I did, I did for them.” He looked at her and his eyes were wet as his gaze upon her was almost begging. “Is there no way you can _See_ on purpose?” he whispered.

“I'm afraid that's not how it works. I only See when there are changes ahead, and it's hard to tell if they are foresights or warnings. Sometimes when I look upon someone, I can get clues on what their lives will bring, but even that is rare, because there are so many choices ahead. My gift, if you want to call it that, is uncontrollable.” Sigrael said and caressed his cheek. “But I have good hopes for them, despite my worries. Something tells me that within the next days we'll know.”

“At least that's a comfort. You have a good intuition.” Thorin smiled and laid his hand on hers. “But how are you doing?”

“I'm both very glad and very worried.” Sigrael smiled and looked at Thorin with raised eyebrows, a look that revealed how ambivalent she felt.

“Go on.” Thorin said, laid an arm around her waist and held her closer.

“It seems like the little one wants to stay. I'm three months pregnant by now.” she said and smiled to him.

“Mahal...” Thorin sighed and laughed with relief.

“You can even see a small bump by now.” Sigrael said and lifted her shirt and Thorin could see it. He laid a hand on it, and she could see how this made him lower his shoulders. “It's just that... We shouldn't see the bump. I'm way too thin, I should have gained some weight by now, and if I don't get enough nutrition, I can still risk to lose him. What little I gained in Laketown is already gone. The small rations we have will last for a couple of weeks, but after that...”

Thorin looked thoughtful before he looked at her. “We'll declare the pregnancy tomorrow. Maybe the rest of us can give a little of our rations so yours will last for a bit longer. Hopefully by then we will have established a co-operation with the Iron Hills so we don't have to worry about the rations for much longer than that.”

“So you want to declare it?” Sigrael asked with surprise. “Sure you don't want to wait longer?”

“We can see the bump already. Our traditions say that we do so once you can see it. And for dwarves, it's natural to be visible after this time, so I don't think it will make the others too uneasy at first.” Thorin said and leant his forehead towards hers. “It will also give them a bit of light while we wait for news about the rest of us.”

“You're right...” she smiled as their noses touched. “It just occurred to me that it could be twins...”

“I thought you said you Saw _one_ son??” Thorin asked and lifted his eyebrows.

“That's true. Sorry, the thought just scared me a bit and the words slipped before I could stop them.” she smiled and laughed a bit.

“I don't blame you, you're the one who carries the workload in this.” he said and laid both his arms around her and held her close.

“You say...” she said and chuckled a bit. It was surprising how this seemed to make both of them forget about everything for a while.

“That doesn't mean you're alone.” Thorin said warmly and kissed her cheek. “Are you still bothered with nausea?”

“Not nearly as much as in the beginning. I hardly thought of it as I was making my way from Laketown and up here.” Sigrael said and smiled to him.

“That's good. I don't want to cause you any more suffering than you already are going through because of me.” he said low and let his hand rest on her neck.

“You won't, as long as you listen to me.” Sigrael said, partly as a warning and hoping it reached through. She feared that the Dragon sickness would cause a lot more harm before it came to an end.

*

“What is the plan for today?” Dori asked as the company had finished the breakfast together, one of three meals during the day. He was gathering the empty bowls as they were standing up, ready to follow orders.

“We finished the gate yesterday, so I thought that today we could go through the armoury. We need to be prepared to fend ourselves.” Thorin said low and a few of the dwarves nodded their agreement. “Still no sign of the Arkenstone?” Thorin continued since nobody had protested on his plans for today or made any suggestions.

“Nothing.” Balin said. “It's a huge treasure, it can and will take time to go through it. It's not unlikely that Smaug hid it well, I wouldn’t be surprised if he knew the value of it. If we’re lucky, he might have thought of it as any other gem and not hid it.”

“Keep looking then.” Thorin said low and then it was there again, that frightening glare in his eyes. Sigrael sighed; she couldn’t free herself from the thought that he had given up fighting against it after Smaug’s destruction of Laketown and the possible loss of his nephews. Or at least, not fighting as hard against it as he would if they were there.

“We are looking and we won't stop until it's found.” Balin said calmly, but Sigrael noticed that once Thorin looked away from him, he shot a glance at his brother, who was leaning towards a column just behind Thorin.

“Is there anything else?” Bilbo said as he got up on his feet, as to lead the conversation on a different topic or bring it to the end – he was just as uncomfortable as the others were when Thorin shot those glances.

“Actually, there is.” Thorin said and looked at Sigrael, and she could see that the frightening glare was melting away. For a moment she felt guilty for thinking of using the little one to protect the others from Thorin's oncoming madness, but it was hard to avoid it, when she saw how much he softened by the fact that his firstborn was coming. “Come.” he said low to Sigrael and she got up on her feet to stand beside him.

Thorin laid his arm around Sigrael's waist as he spoke again. “When I first got to know, it was a welcome surprise. It was unexpected; I never believed I would be blessed with this. It still might be a bit early to declare it, but it has been three months, and it's starting to show. Sigrael is carrying my firstborn, and he will be born in the first weeks of summer.”

For the first seconds the company looked at them in surprise, for then cheering and clapping their hands. Dwalin put on his best mask and Sigrael had to laugh as he pretended to be just as surprised as he was when she told him two days ago. Now he laughed, almost roared as he laid an arm around Thorin's shoulders and roughled his hair. “I knew ya would make it someday, old badger!”

The company now surrounded them and Sigrael lost count of how many times they hugged her and wished her luck. It warmed her to see that none of them asked a question about the combination; the King of Erebor and a Ranger with a little known origin. What mattered to them, was the braids Thorin made before they left Laketown.

“I had a feeling this was what was going on.” Gloin winked and patted her shoulder.

“I guess you would be the one to recognize it.” Sigrael smiled.

“No wonder nobody else than I and Oin noticed, the rest of the company are bachelors!” he chuckled. “Well, now Thorin is done with those days. And what a timing! The little one will be born when the first settlers will be here, a great start for the kingdom, with a new royal member!” Gloin's words touched Sigrael and she embraced him – she had no words to say how much she appreciated them. He really was genuinely happy for them, and to know she had this much support, that was a great relief to her.

*

“FILI! KILI! You are here! OIN, BOFUR! I can't believe you made it!” Dori shouted, and Sigrael turned her head so quickly that her neck hurt.

And there they were, the missing members of the company. Sigrael grinned and leapt up, and she almost jumped on Fili so he for a moment lost his balance, but she had a solid hold on him and didn't let him crash to the floor. “Dear goodness, I'm so glad you made it! Why did it take you so long to get here?!”

“Long story...” Fili smiled and laid a hand on her shoulder. “We wanted to wait for as long as possible because of Kili's leg. Then Bard was captured and locked behind bars for only reasons the Master knew, and it ended up with us more or less kidnapping his family to get them to safety as Smaug came. Bard made it; he killed the dragon with the black arrow!” Fili said and looked at her with wide eyes and a smile as if he still had problems believing it. “I'll tell you more later.” he said and straightened up and looked up at her. “Then we had to get here. We found a small boat, but with no sails, so we had to row. Took us almost 6 days. Then almost a day walking up here, since all paths are long gone and it wasn't easy to find the way with the least climbing or rocks. But Mahal, I'm so glad you all are here and in one piece, that's nothing less than a miracle!”

“You can say that.” Sigrael smiled and kissed his cheek before she embraced him. “I've worried so much!” Then Kili showed up, and she grabbed him with the other arm and hugged both of the brothers tightly. “And now you're all here, without a burn! How is that possible?!” she said and tears started to well up in her eyes

“Oh you haven't checked our backs.” Kili said with a playful smile.

“Oh shut up!” Sigrael said and let them go. “And most of all I'm glad to see that you seem to be fine again!”

“Well, I'm still limping a bit, but yeah – I feel fine.” Kili said and shrugged his shoulders before he let a bag down from his shoulders and opened it. “Here, I hope you won't yell at me or something, but here's some food we got with us. It's not much, it's some bread we snapped on our way out of the town, it would have burned or sunk down if we didn't pick it up. Bread, some apples and a jar of butter. And there was a fishing net in the boat, so we have some fresh fish here.”

“Oh dear...” Sigrael whispered as she knelt down and looked through the breads and the apples – still relatively fresh, and that meant that the others in the company didn't have to save rations for her and tears rolled down her cheeks.

Kili, who didn't know the news, got a bit uncomfortable at her reactions and knelt to look her in her eyes. “Uhm, I didn't mean anything bad by it...”

“Bad?” Sigrael looked at him and smiled widely. “My sweetest Kili, this is the second best thing today after your return. We need it more than ever.” she said and kissed his forehead.

“Are we that scarce of food or is there somebody else in here?” Fili asked and looked at her with a confused face.

“Yes, there is somebody else.” Sigrael smiled warmly to them. “I am carrying your cousin and I need the food more than anything.”

“WHAT?!” it blurted out of Kili and Sigrael couldn't help but laugh at his reaction.

“I'm pregnant, and your uncle is the father of the child. Third in line after the two of you.” Sigrael smiled to Kili, who stared at her with an open mouth before he started to laugh as well.

“Are you kidding?” Fili asked and pulled her up so she was standing in front of him. “Has that old ferret finally figured it out??”

“I don't want to give you too many details, but it seemed like it was a matter of timing rather than lack of knowledge that brought this upon us...” Sigrael said and lifted an eyebrow.

“Fili, you do remember those famous talks he had with us, right?” Kili giggled.

“How can we forget...” Fili chuckled and shook his head. He then turned to Sigrael. “So, have you declared it?”

“Four days ago.” she smiled and decided to let them see it with their own eyes and lifted the shirt to let them see the tiny little bump. “It's not much yet, the only reason you can see it is because I'm rather skinny.”

“I'll be glad to share my rations with you.” Fili said and hugged her.

“Same here. Come on, it's our cousin!” Kili grinned and hugged her too. “You should have seen how much we were eating in that boat, don’t worry about us!” For now, they pushed away their worries about Thorin; they had seen him as they arrived, and it had scared them. But the little one coming was a reason for both joy and to find a way to help Thorin out of the mess he was in. They had absolutely no reason to just sit on a rock and wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that was cousin fluff <3 how I love the idea of Fili and Kili being the crazy cousins (or maybe uncles) that stresses the parents and amuses the kids! YESH. So sweet it makes my teeth hurt


	21. Bad Tidings Never Come Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some members of the company are starting to get really worried, and Sigrael's patience is starting to grow thin. At the same time, she realize how much she loves Thorin, and something has to be done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, we will have both fluff and angst here, and even some slight smut.

“I’m glad to see you made it too.” Bofur grinned as he saw Sigrael and they embraced each other in a tight hug. Sigrael couldn’t help but laugh as her beloved friend was back and he even lifted her, which caused her to laugh heartily. As he dropped her down she ruffled his hat so it was almost falling off him and he was quick to put his hands on it.

“You worried about me?” Sigrael asked with a grin as he corrected his hat.

“Of course I did, you were sick too and you were heading straight for a dragon on a horse you stole! Know that they made some fuzz about it!” Bofur said and patted her shoulder.

“Well, I wouldn’t say sick.” She smiled and blushed a little.

“What?” he looked surprised at her. “You were feeling so horrible in Mirkwood and Laketown, I was – am! – seriously worried about you!”

“Fortunately the nausea has passed by.” Sigrael said and sat down on a rock. “Bofur, there’s a natural explanation, and it’s much related to your jokes about Thorin’s glances at me.” she looked up at Bofur with an amused smile as it was dawning on him what she meant.

“Damn, don’t tell me you two actually slept together at Beorn’s…” Bofur stared at Sigrael and she tried to hold back a foolish smile. “I mean… you two came back, and you looked so happy about something, and as you turned to join Beorn and Gandalf’s discussion, Thorin watched you with a look I’ve never seen before. Though, when I tried to gesture something he just looked disgusted. I think he hid something.” Bofur sat down beside her on the rock.

“He did.” Sigrael chuckled. “And it was then I got pregnant.”

“Wow…” Bofur chuckled and laid an arm around her shoulder. “I must congratulate.”

“Thank you.” she smiled to him.

“Well, that explains all your ‘illness’. Good thing you two found the tone then. Coincidence or not?” Bofur winked and lifted an eyebrow.

“Well, he confessed his love to me before I told him about the pregnancy. Or, before I was willing to accept the fact that I most likely was pregnant.” Sigrael said with a thoughtful face and ignored Bofur’s little bold joke.

“Well, then there’s all reason to believe things will turn out good.” Bofur said and Sigrael turned to look at him – she saw that he had noticed Thorin’s state as he arrived, and she was relieved. She had hoped she wouldn’t have to explain everything to them as they came. However, it was good to see that Bofur was with good hopes. It encouraged her as well.

*

“Thorin, come here...” Sigrael said low but kindly and led him into an archway and down the hall to the chambers they had made. She was tired after the long day, and Thorin's last round yelling about the bloody Arkenstone made her decision easy; he needed the rest, he hardly slept these days, he didn't bother with food unless she almost forced him to eat. It was time that she used her advantage as one of the few he still listened to and take him away to rest. That, and the fact that she needed the closeness with him. This obsession drained more than just him.

Thorin watched her as she closed the door, took off her cape and hung it on a chair. “What is it?” he asked, clearly impatient.

“Take a break from the searching. We all are tired and need to rest and it's only us in the mountain. We have guards.” She said and walked up to him and laid her arms around his neck. “And... I want you to myself for a little while.” she said with a smile as she looked down on his beautiful face. “Even though I'm safe for now and can rest, I need some closeness with you, even if that means to just sit close and relax together.”

“So you took me here, just to be a little selfish and have some alone-time from the others?” he asked back and she was glad to see that the veil of the dragon sickness seemed to slip away from him a little bit.

“More or less, yes.” she grinned as her heart skipped a beat when he laid his arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

“I don't mind anything more than just relaxing together...” he said low and kissed her.

The kiss heated and soon clothes were falling to the ground and left them naked. Thorin scooped her up in his arms and laid her down on the bed, which left them both laughing like teenagers, and playfully they continued their affair. As lips and tongues caressed skin and hands wandered, it felt like none of the worries of late had occurred, that there was no reason to worry at all. Sigrael finally fully relaxed and gave in to the moment and pleasure was rising with a mind freed of all thoughts.

Even Thorin seemed to go through the same process and felt hungry for something else than gold or the Arkenstone for the first time since he left Laketown. He had almost forgotten how good she tasted, how soft her skin was and how passionate she was when she could have her ways with him. When he finally entered her after countless minutes, maybe closer to an hour of teasing, cuddling and playing, he couldn't think of anything else than how perfect the moment was as their bodies were reunited again.

Their kisses were passionate, almost desperate as they melted together, and to hear her moan his name was like music in his ears after hearing her worry so much lately. When she trembled under him as her climax rolled over her he thought that he was the luckiest dwarf alive, to have all he had right now, and as she demanded control of their act and took it, he didn't bother about how he surrendered to her will. To see her so lost to the pleasure they brought each other was worth his absence in the gold chambers, and he gladly let her rule the ride, and the way she pleased him pushed the thoughts of the Arkenstone far away from his mind.

When they both finally collapsed together, exhausted but pleased, he rolled over on his back and let her rest her head on his chest. “Remember that I love you...” he whispered and stroke a strand of hair away from her moist forehead. “You hold my heart.”

“Remember that so do you with mine. I love you above all in the world, don't forget that.” she whispered back and snuggled closer to him.

He pulled the blanket over them and they fell asleep, not bothering about how moist they were against each other or that the others might be looking for them if none happened to see them leaving together. This moment was sacred.

...

Sigrael woke up a while later as Thorin moved beside her. With sleepy eyes, she watched him until she realized he was getting up. “Where are you going?” she asked sleepily.

“Down.” Thorin simply said and put on the cloak.

“But Thorin, it's late! You need to rest!” Sigrael sighed and looked at him with begging eyes.

“I must.” he said and got his boots on.

“No, you mustn't...” she begged.

He just looked at her for a moment, before he left. Sigrael was left with frustration; it didn't take the Dragon sickness long time before it got a hold of him again, and Sigrael had to accept defeat yet another time.

Thorin on the other hand, wondered how she managed to hold him away for at least 5 hours, and over something so carnal and coloured by primitive lusts. All those thoughts and feelings they shared a little while back, seemed suddenly strangely distant and he wondered how she had stirred them up in him, when there was so much else to think of. Yes, he loved her, he knew he did and there was no doubt that he wanted her in his life, but he couldn't let something personal and intimate disturb his mission. He had to put it aside in order to find the Arkenstone and with that settle how mighty Erebor was and bring back what it once was. It was the sickness taking a hold of his mind again and he didn’t realize the power the gold held over him.

*

“And there's nothing you can do??” Dwalin sighed to Sigrael a couple of days later.

“Unless you want me to make love with him every second hour, and I can promise you that it won't take long before he starts to refuse that as well.” She growled back – she was annoyed, three days in a row Thorin had left her in their chambers in the same way. “Look at me; I'm already pregnant, and soon it will come to the point where he sees no need in making love, since gold is his new grande obsession and he's already got me pregnant, so nothing to worry about! What a successful king, more gold than he will ever be able to use and a child coming! What more does he need?!” she hissed with sarcasm.

“Shouldn't you be careful, in your state?” Fili asked carefully.

“Being pregnant and having daily bedroom activities is no problem and if I’m going to be honest I’ve never been as hungry for such things as I am now.” She rolled her eyes, frustrated by the minute that things didn’t change. “The problem here is that he's starting to stress me up so much with his obsession over that bloody stone that it can't be good for the little one!” Sigrael sighed and dropped down on a chair. “Will the stone do him any good when we find it?”

“I'm afraid it can only turn it worse.” Dwalin said low. “I didn't expect this much trouble over the stone.”

“We'll have a mad king if we can't find a way to lure him out of the claws of this madness. He'll be the end of us.” Sigrael said and tears welled up in her eyes.

“Hey, don't lose hope.” Fili said kindly, knelt beside her, and laid a hand on her knee. “You're tired, worried and you have a child growing day by day. It's much for you, but you don't have to think that this is all on you. I can't help much considering the child, but we all share the same worries. We're all tired of this. But we will figure out something.”

Sigrael looked down at Fili's face, who was almost shining to her with kindness and care and she couldn't stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. “You're right. It would be better if we all stand together in this.”

“We better be careful though. It wouldn't surprise me if he starts whispering about mutiny then.” Dwalin sighed and rubbed his face. It was so clear that he was worrying about his best friend and feared the worst.

“We can start by never gathering in large groups. No more than three or four at a time.” Sigrael said low. “And I have no idea if it would be clever to include all of the company or just a few of us, at least now in the beginning. Just speaking like this feels like mutiny.”

“I suggest we invite Kili and Balin.” Fili said and looked at Dwalin. “Maybe Bilbo too, since he was the first one to go down here, and I think he’s been talking with Balin about this already. He might need protection, if you fear that uncle will go nuts with paranoia.”

“Fili's right. We start with those, and we'll see. And make it clear that it's not like we're uniting against Thorin, I would never do that. But we need to find a way to help him out of the madness.” Sigrael sighed.

“Aye.” Dwalin said and sighed. “I'll go and find them.” he straightened up and before he left, he laid a hand on Sigrael's shoulder and squeezed it gently to encourage her.

*

Sigrael couldn't really say that much happened the next days; they mostly consisted of the dwarves and Bilbo searching through the gold, looking for the Arkenstone, while she and a few others went to the armoury to check on weapons and armours. Sigrael insisted on preparing for a battle after what she Saw, and the rest of the company saw no reason to hesitate much longer with it. After a few days all swords, daggers, axes, spears and arrows were sharpened, tree was treated with oil and armours for all of them were prepared and polished.

Dwalin had mumbled that one didn't win battles with blending the enemy, but Sigrael had mumbled about killing time and found that polishing the armour was a good way to do so. Thorin had been very pleased with how his came out to look brand new, so at least it brought a rare smile on his face.

They were all pulled out of their little bubble one early morning as Ori suddenly was calling for their attention. They all got up; they had observed the people of Laketown arriving in Dale the day before, but they didn't expect an attack from them. They had more than enough with making new homes now as Laketown was burned down – only some smoking remains were left of the town. Ori's call for attention was therefore a surprise to them, it sounded like it was urgent and Sigrael quickly got up from the bed she had made close to the gate.

“What is it?” she asked as she got up.

“Take a look.” Ori said and looked nervously at her.

Sigrael heard the sound of marching feet, and realized it was an army coming out from Dale – but that was no army of men, she thought as they got close enough to see. “Isn't that the elves of Mirkwood?” she asked confused and looked at the dwarves that had made it up to the wall. “Why are they approaching with an army?” the army stopped outside Dale, but looked ready to march up to the gates of Erebor.

“I have no idea.” Balin said and looked worried. “If he was here to help, I imagine he would have a smaller army in case there were troubles.”

“He's coming for those jewels, isn't he?” Sigrael asked and looked at Balin with much worry. “I can't believe he's willing to make a war over some stones, unless he's suffering from that madness himself.”

“He's a greedy elf, and he doesn't like to lose anything.” Balin sighed and leaned towards a rock. “Well, I hope Bard's got a good diplomat, because Thorin won't share unless there's something in return.”

“But he promised to help rebuilding Esgaroth and Dale?” Sigrael frowned.

“To me it doesn't seem like that's his interest anymore. I mentioned it for him yesterday, and he looked at me like I was suggesting him to marry an elf.” Balin looked tired and worn. “That, and that there's not much left of Esgaroth to rebuild. And there's a rottening dragon in the middle of the few ruins.”

“Well, one could make Dale a beautiful city. Golden rooftops, glittering towers... Ever seen Minas Tirith? The pearl towers are truly beautiful. Maybe we could pick of scales from the dragon carcass and decorate the towers.” Sigrael suggested.

“No, I haven't, but I like the suggestion.” Balin chuckled.

Then they heard Thorin and Dwalin discussing down on the floor behind the wall – Thorin didn't seem too happy about the news and he marched up to see. And just then, they saw a lonely rider coming towards the gate. To Sigrael's joy Bard seemed to be unharmed after the events, but he seemed worried as well, her guess was that he was as happy about Thranduil's arrival as she was. His words worried her though, and she was glad Thorin was willing to listen, at least for a while.

“Would you stay up here?” Thorin said low to her and pressed a bow into her hands, the one that was up there at the scouting post at all times.

“Sure, but why? Bard won't be a threat.” Sigrael said confused.

“If he's on Thranduil's side, he's a threat.” Thorin stated and walked down to hear what Bard had to say.

Sigrael was sitting on the scout's post where she could look down at Bard – she had never believed she would have to watch over a man she considered as an ally and be ready with bow and arrows. It was hard to hear what they said, but the phrases she caught worried her. Bard wasn't much of a diplomat in the first place, strong-willed and opinionated as he was, but Thorin wasn't easy to reason with these days. If she was to be honest, they had greater success with tricking Smaug out of the mountain.

It didn't take long before the discussion was ended and Sigrael sighed with disappointment as she realized they wouldn't make any progress. Thorin would rather have war than keeping a promise he made in Dale, and it worried her greatly. Bard caught her curiosity though, since he left a small package for Thorin – what did he have to offer Thorin? Was it an attempt of a bargain? For a moment she actually raised her bow and put an arrow to the string, but as Bard turned away, she let it down again. As he was riding away, she left the bow and arrow and trotted down the stairs to find out what this package was.

...

“What about Sigrael?!” Bard hissed as it seemed like the dwarf king made up his mind, but smoothed his voice again as he got his attention. “At least let me help Sigrael with this.”

“Sigrael?” Thorin asked and glared back at Bard.

“I know she's expecting your child. Already in Laketown she was thin, she needs more food if she is to keep the child and survive the pregnancy and birth. Take this, please.” Bard pushed something wrapped in linen cloths towards Thorin. “If we can't agree here and now, we could at least give her the chance of giving the little one a better start.”

Thorin's gaze was hard to define to Bard, but he sighed in relief as there was, to him, still some sense left in the dwarf as he reached out for the wrapping. A short nod came from Thorin before he disappeared. Bard chose to think of it as gratitude to not start yelling in frustration over the failed negotiations.

“What was that?” Sigrael asked as she walked up to Thorin.

“Bard seems to show some care for you and the little one.” Thorin said low and opened the wrapping. There was a bread, some jam, 4 trouts wrapped in a paper, much butter and slices of salted meat.

“That won't surprise me; his wife died shortly after giving birth to Tilda, because she was so malnutritioned that the birth drained her of all energy she had. It was a bad year with failed seasons; all they had to eat was fish.” Sigrael said low and tears welled up in his eyes. “I guess he doesn't want to see another child losing its mother.”

Thorin sighed and tried to let this sink in, but he couldn't. There was only one thing he needed now, and that was to be found in the large halls of gold, and he gave Sigrael the wrapping with food and took his leave. He didn't look back to see, but if he had, his mind was now so clouded with the gold that he hadn't offered a thought at Sigrael's hurt and worried face, the shocked look of his companions or the sorrow in Balin's eyes.

*

Sigrael worried as she knew the elves were preparing for battle. She had tried to think of something else by trying to have a conversation with the ravens that had returned to the mountains, but no matter how hard she tried, she didn't understand them. She suspected that they understood her though and she felt sorry for them having to sit there and try to say something to her and not being understood. She wondered how the dwarves had learned to speak with them. She had seen Thorin and Balin calling for aid from the Iron Hills by using a raven, and she hoped the raven made it there in time.

It had to. Everything now depended on Dain and if he was willing to come to their aid, as more elves arrived from Mirkwood day by day, and each attempt of negotiations from Bard or the elves were roughly brushed off by Thorin. Even if the raven made it to the Iron Hills three days ago and Dain set out immediately, it would, according to Dwalin, take them two more days to make it here if they weren't delayed by anything and kept their march in a steady pace. It was a long distance, but most of the journey were across plains with little vegetation.

“Sigrael.”

Thorin's voice made her jump right out of her gloomy thoughts. “Thorin, you scared me!” she sighed and smiled a bit as she turned to face him.

“I'm sorry, I did not mean to make you jump.” he said and there was a brief smile on his face. It was a relief to her to see it, as they turned more and more rare.

“Well, what are you up to?” Sigrael asked and walked up to him and caressed his cheek. No matter how worried she was and how scared she was of the Dragon sickness, she kept hoping that it would let go of him. She loved him too much to lose him to the gold.

“I found a few of these.” Thorin said and held up a shining shirt. Well, at first Sigrael thought so, but as she looked closer, she saw it was a shirt of mithril – the finest chainmail with the sheen of a silvery moon. She stared at it with large eyes; she had only heard of them before and the legendary ability of it, and she carefully lifted the arm of the shirt. It was light as a feather and it was hard to believe that this was said to be as hard as a dragon's skin. She took her eyes from it as Thorin spoke again. “I want you to wear it till all this is settled, to keep you and our little one safe.”

“But...” Sigrael started, too amazed by the shirt. “Shouldn't you wear one? You're the king!”

“If we find one in my size.” Thorin said and there was a quick smile again. Moments like these gave Sigrael hope, as it seemed like the veil of madness let go for a few moments and she saw more of the Thorin she knew. “Let me see you put it on. You can wear it under your shirt if you want, it's not cold.”

“If you insist.” Sigrael smiled and took off her jacket and shirt.

“Of course I do, you're supposed to be my Queen.” Thorin chuckled and held her jacket and shirt as she took the mithril shirt and pulled it over her head. “Seems like it fits you well, and will do so for at least a few weeks ahead.”

“I suspect it was made for a dwarf of your size. This will fit me for months!” she laughed and tugged at the sides of it. “I'm not calling you fat, after all you've lost quite a few pounds too, but... You're a dwarf, you're still heavier built than me.”

“We both can fend ourselves, but I'm not carrying our son, you are.” Thorin said and rested his forehead against hers. “I found another shirt, but it was smaller so I will gift it to Bilbo, as I fear he will need the shirt more than any of us if it comes to a battle. Don't worry, Dwalin is looking for more shirts for the rest of us. Hopefully they're not buried in the gold, there should be more of them.”

“Oh, Thorin...” Sigrael sighed and embraced him. She really hoped Dwalin found one for Thorin too, she couldn't stand the thought of losing him despite all her worries and desperation of late. She wanted to say something, talk him into negotiations, but each time she had tried, he ended up spending hours with the gold and still refused to change his mind as he returned. Same happened if any of the others tried, and they had come to the conclusion that they had to get something done about the illness and find another way through.

She started to sob on his shoulders; moments like this one became worth more than all of the treasures in Erebor, these moments when he actually cared about something else than the gold. “What is it, darling?” Thorin whispered and pulled his fingers through her hair.

“It's just... everything going on.” Sigrael sobbed and held on to the armour around his shoulders. “The upcoming war, the worries of our child, and... when you change...”

“What changes?” Thorin asked and stepped back to look her in her eyes.

“Thorin! Thranduil is here!” Dwalin called from the hallway.

Immediately Sigrael sensed the change in Thorin and she closed her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks. After a few seconds she opened them again, and the Thorin she was holding on to was no longer the one she knew. “These changes.” she whispered to him, but as he looked at her when he stepped away to follow Dwalin, it was clear that he didn't understand and Sigrael cursed under her breath.

“Go and get your armour on, like the rest of us have done. We prepare to defend ourselves.” Thorin said low as he walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will come once I hold the DVD in my hands :3


	22. the Toughest Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, what little happiness we saw in the last chapter is now replaced by angst, fury and temper. Yep. You are warned. Sigrael going a bit nuts and such, but might be justified by Thorin's actions, ya know... :P
> 
> Thanks to IngvildSchage for beta-reading! <3

Sigrael hurried to follow the rest, and as she got up on the wall, she let a long and disappointed breath out; the entire army of Mirkwood was standing in front of the gates. Thranduil looked ever so pleased as he rode up on his elk, even as Thorin fired an arrow in front of his elk’s feet and made it clear that the next one would be placed between his eyes if he took one more step.

It didn’t take more than three seconds from Thorin’s arrow was fired to the cheering of the other dwarves, before the entire company except Thorin and Sigrael stood still against 200 elvish archers, ready to fire at Thranduil’s order. She looked around, surprised at how quick the dwarves were to duck – she had been standing still because she doubted that Thranduil would be stupid enough to slay them all even before he had said his words, and she looked at the dwarves with lifted eyebrows and a not so impressed face. Once Thranduil silently raised a hand and calmly put it down, the bows and arrows were lowered. Sigrael looked at Bard, and she realized he felt exactly the same way as her; brushed off as a fly around a horse, when all he tried was to tell some sense. Well, after what she heard, his diplomatic skills weren’t the best, but she believed Thranduil had a better hearing than Thorin. Obviously not.

Thorin still aimed at Thranduil as the Elf King spoke. “We’ve come to tell you that payment of your debt, has been offered. And accepted.”

“What payment? I gave you nothing. You have nothing!” Thorin barked back, still aiming at Thranduil. Sigrael wondered when his arm would start tiring from holding the arrow ready for so long.

Sigrael couldn’t believe how bold Thranduil was; yes, she knew he was an over-bearing and sassy fuck, if she was going to be completely honest, but this was more than she had expected from him. And what did they mean by payment? Even Bard looked pleased now. She walked over to stand beside Balin and whispered as low as she could. “I don’t like this a bit.”

“They’re forcing him into a corner. I don’t know if that’s wise.” Balin replied while Thorin was busy barking back. 

Not even seconds later they got their answer. Thranduil looked at Bard, and Bard fished something out of the chest pocked of his coat. The Arkenstone. He held it up, looked at Thorin with a questioning and expecting face. “We have this.”

Now Thorin lowered the bow, but slowly his eyes turned darker as he glared at Bard. Kili was the one who spoke what the others thought. “They… have the Arkenstone! Thieves! The stone belongs to the King!”

“The King may have it!” Bard said and put the stone down. “And our good will.” The stone was tucked away in the pocket again. “But first… he must honour his word.”

Thorin slowly shook his head. “They’re taking us for fools. … A filthy lie.” He said low to the company. “The Arkenstone is in this mountain! It’s a trick!” he yelled to Thranduil and Bard.

“I-it’s no trick. The stone is real.”

Sigrael turned in shock as Bilbo spoke; not because he must obviously had given it to Bard and Thranduil, she had even considered it herself if she was to be the one to find the rock, but because she feared Thorin’s reaction. One thing was sure, and that was that Bilbo could not stay here, unless he wanted to be mentally tortured, but where should he go then? Thorin’s eyes darkened and grew narrow as he turned towards the hobbit and Sigrael took one step closer to him.

“I gave it to them.” Bilbo continued and stood still as he faced Thorin.

“You.” Thorin said simply, and it almost scared Sigrael that he seemed disappointed – what would the next be?

“I took it as my 15th share.” Bilbo said calmly. The rest of the dwarves looked as shocked and nervous as Sigrael did.

“You’d steal from me.” Thorin said, still scaringly calm.

“Steal from you? No. I may be a burglar, but I think I’m a honest one.” Bilbo seemed to think that being calm and relaxed would keep Thorin calm, but Sigrael had no other suggestions. None of them did, as none of them knew this new Thorin they had gotten. “I’m willing to let it stand against my claim.”

“Against your claim?” Thorin asked suspiciously, before his tone changed to something darker. “Your claim, you have no claim over me, you miserable rat!” his low speaking ended as a shout as Thorin threw the bow away and walked over to Bilbo.

“I was going to give it to you. Many times I wanted to, but…”

“But what, thief?” Thorin growled.

“You are changed, Thorin. The dwarf I met in Bag End, would never have gone back on his words!” Bilbo now sounded almost angry. “He would never have doubted the loyalty of his kin!”

“Do not speak to me of loyalty!” Thorin hissed and stared for a few moments. “Throw him from the rampads!” he ordered, and now the company started to visibly protest by taking a step away. “Do you not hear me?” Thorin roared as he grabbed Fili, but Fili glared at Thorin and pulled away. “I’ll do it myself!”

“THORIN, NO!” Sigrael roared and walked up to Thorin as he grabbed Bilbo, but he already had him over the edge as the others tried to stop him as well.

“Curse you! Curse the wizard that brought you in this company!”

“THORIN STOP THIS!” Sigrael roared again but this time she grabbed the neck of the shirt that was visible under his armour. For a second Thorin stopped and glared at her. “Throwing him down the wall will not give you the Arkenstone. Not only will you kill Bilbo, but you will kill the little that’s left of your dignity and honour.” She said low, but growling.

“What do you know of h-“

“I know enough to say that this is the stupidest way to punish anyone. Let him go.”

Then they heard Gandalf’s voice from below the wall: “You heard her. Let my burglar go, unharmed.” Thorin stared at Gandalf before he continued. “You’re not making a very splendid figure as King Under the Mountain, are you, Thorin, son of Thrain? If you have complaints about my burglar, harm him not, but return him to me.”

Thorin let Bilbo go as he stared at Gandalf; it was clear that he had not expected Gandalf’s return, just as much as any of them. Sigrael let a relieved sigh out – Gandalf meant hope, he was the diplomat they needed.

While Thorin cursed wizards and hobbits, Bofur and Sigrael slipped away to make sure Bilbo got down safely. Sigrael ensured that the rope Bilbo hoisted himself down with was safe, and as he was about to climb over the edge, Sigrael stopped him for a brief moment. “Dear Bilbo, I’m so sorry…” she whispered and tears ran down from her eyes.

“Don’t be… I messed this up myself, I have only myself to thank.” Bilbo ensured her. “I should have told you as we gathered all these times, discussing back and forth what to do.”

“There are many things all of us should have said at different times. Don’t feel guilty, it’s Thorin who made this mess.” Sigrael said and grabbed his bag. “Don’t forget this.”

“Sigrael… stay strong…” Bilbo whispered.

“You too.” She said and kissed the top of his head. “Get down now, quickly!”

Bilbo nodded and quickly hoisted himself down and Sigrael stood by the ring they attached the rope, just in case Thorin still wouldn’t let him go. Her mouth was dry and her throat tight, it hurt to breathe as her heart was pounding furiously in her chest; she had seen Thorin’s anger before, but then they were equals, and he was himself. Now he wasn’t angry. He was furious. And he wasn’t the Thorin she knew and had fallen in love with.

Bard interrupted her thoughts as he tried to get Thorin back on the topics they really were here for. “Are we resolved? The return of the Arkenstone for what was promised?”

Sigrael walked up beside Balin again, and noticed Thorin’s nervous flicker to the eastern ridge. Bard continued. “Give us your answer! Will you have peace, or war?”

Just as Bard asked, a raven landed on the wall. Obviously, it was bringing a message to Thorin, but Sigrael didn’t get what was said, but Thorin’s nervous eyes turned confident. She wondered how the ravens and the dwarves had figured out a language both understood. “I will have war.” He growled as he looked to the East.

“Thorin…” Sigrael whispered.

The other dwarves started to cheer loudly as the army of dwarves from the Iron Hills arrived, but Sigrael got a bad taste in her mouth; when she Saw Thorin dead, it was from battle injuries.

“Thorin!”

“What?”

“Is there really no way this can be solved without spilling blood?” She begged as the elves turned to meet the dwarf army.

“You of all, should know that after what we just saw, there is no way to solve it other than with force. Especially when betrayed from the inside.” Thorin said with disbelief.

“Betrayed?” Sigrael barked. “The betrayer here is you, changing into something you’re not and risking our lives, when you have sworn to protect your people!” The other dwarves turned to look at her and Thorin glared. “I don’t recognize you. I fell in love with Thorin Oakenshield, a proud yet caring dwarf, seeking the best for his kin. Not King Thorin, who loves the gold more than his people, kin or family.”

“Sigrael, what do you know of-“

“Thorin, what do _you_ know of this? You’ve never been in a battle between man and dwarf, or dwarf against elf for that matter. These are not the stupid and brutal orcs we’re used to.” Sigrael sighed. “I don’t want to die because of your pride, and lacking ability to keep words. I’m done.”

Just then Dain started his little speech, and she admired his simple honesty. There was no doubt that he found the presence of men and elves claiming their rightful money horrid. On the other hand, Sigrael wasn’t surprised if Thorin had left out some central information in his message to his cousin and she decided to not judge Dain by his actions. Not yet. Instead, she kept staring at Thorin, who refused to look back at her. While the others laughed at Dain’s insult towards Thranduil, Sigrael was boiling.

“I see it’s not just our armour who’s shining.” Dwalin snickered to Sigrael as to brighten the mood, but as she just glared at him, he realized he better shut up.

But all was about to change; a distant roaring and thunder from underground grew in volume, and everyone’s eyes widened in shock and fear as giant worms shot up from the ground. Sigrael had never seen them before, she had only hear old tales of them and her heart pounded as she watched them draw back. Dain quickly rearranged his ranks of soldiers as they saw the orcs coming from the tunnels the worms made, and the Company was ready to climb over to fight alongside their kin.

“I’m climbing over! Who’s with me?” Fili called out.

The others answered by shouting their agreement, but Thorin stopped them. “Stand down!”

“Are we going to do _nothing_?” Fili asked with shock.

“I said, _stand down_!” Thorin shouted and left the wall.

“Didn’t… didn’t he see the trolls?” Bofur whispered is disbelief. “We can’t just stand here and watch?”

“Thorin, this is madness!” Sigrael shouted as she followed Thorin down the stairs behind the wall, shocked by how the last 30 minutes was spent. She just couldn’t stand it anymore. “What was going through your mind? Tossing him down? Leave your kin behind?” She hissed and grabbed his arm. “What is all this gold doing to you? And that damned stone?”

“He didn’t only disobey my orders – he gave the most precious heirloom to the enemy!” Thorin hissed to her. “Don’t tell me you are going to defend him again?”

“All I’m trying to say, is that you have to stop right now and take a look in the mirror!” She cried, desperate to find a way to reach through. “You have all the rights to react, but what you did was too much! Bilbo’s idea was wild, but I can’t under any circumstances support what you did!”

“It’s what any king of Erebor would do for such a crime!” Thorin roared and stepped up closer to her. “It's the _King's_ jewel! And we are going to stay here and defend the wall!”

“Then I don’t know what kind of kings Erebor has had.” Sigrael said low and growling. “I wonder when a rock’s value became higher than the one of a living person. Or when gold matters more than lives.”

“What side are you on?” Thorin spat, provoked that she refused to see his point.

“I believed I was on yours, but now I seriously doubt if I did the right choice!” Sigrael boomed loudly, revealing the desperation within her.

“Then why are you still here?” Thorin growled.

“Because I don’t have any choice anymore.” She hissed and started to cry – she cursed this day, the day at Beorn’s, the Day in Bag End, Bree – the day Gandalf had asked her to join.

Thorin just looked at her, slowly becoming an emotional chaos himself by seeing her reacting this way – she, the one he had pledged his heart to, the one that had so far understood him better than most. This realization slowly sunk in and forced some light through dark cloth that had covered his mind since they made it to the mountain. Her desperate eyes met his furious, yet confused – he wanted to know why she suddenly seemed so afraid, the one in the company that always stood up against the fear even when all hope seemed to be gone. Something was very wrong. “Sigrael, what is going on? What has happened?” he asked, suddenly sounding frightened himself.

She looked at him for a long moment and realized that the only chance she now had to get him away from that curse that followed his line, she needed to remind him. His madness had forced anything else than the gold away, even his little one coming. This was what she had Seen, she had to pull him back to his senses, but she didn’t even know if that would help at all. She hated to do it, she wished she didn’t have to, but now she had tried everything else. She undid her jacket, threw it to the floor, rolled up her shirt and undid her trousers just enough to show her belly; the bump was still there, slightly larger than at their arrival two weeks ago. She had gained a little more weight now, but not nearly enough. But the last days Thorin had refused to spend the nights with her in their provisory chamber, he only wandered among the piles of gold and it had driven any thoughts of the little one far away.

Thorin stared at it, before his eyes met hers again. His breath was suddenly shallow, his eyes wide – she had hit the very core of him and he was now like a wounded animal. It could be good, or really bad, and she hoped for the first, but anger started to build up in her again.

“With your act now, I'm afraid you have already doomed our little one. Have you forgotten already? Our tears, joy, fear and expectations, which we shared together in Laketown? That I Saw that if we were to survive this, I would give birth to a son? How you, only a week ago, declared the coming of your son?” She said with a bitter voice. “Right now, Thorin, I'm afraid, worried, stressed, I have no idea what to do. With this action, I’m afraid you’ve cursed him. Maybe even doomed him to death, together with me.” She said low, her voice dripping with anger from the previous situation, her own desperation, the fear for the future. “Two armies who despise each other are trying to keep the third and common enemy at bay, while the starving men of Dale are doing their best to protect their women and children. I feel sick by the fact that you are letting them fight _your_ battle. How long will it last? Where is your dignity?”

Thorin took one step back, and she closed her trousers again and let the shirt fall down again. The dark vault was starting to break, beams of blinding light reached through his mind and it pained him more than anything.

“Sigrael, I didn’t-“ he started, but was cut off.

“When you start to behave like a madman, I need to do something to protect my child – our child! When you’re already starting to get enemies even before we’re able to defend the mountain, I dare to say that you’re putting it in danger! Don’t you see that you’ve been following the recipe for a war, and now you got it at our front door? Don't you hear the sound of metal against metal and meat sliced off from the bone? Guess what? I hear it very clearly!” Sigrael shouted, her temper close to boiling. “And no matter how many times I’ve told you that I’m loyal to you, I won’t bring with me the child to a certain death because of your stubbornness over a fucking rock!”

She noticed a movement in the corner of her eye, and she saw the company retreating to the chambers they had made. They wouldn't disobey Thorin but they wouldn't fail their kin either. Some of them seemed like they had given up, considering how their shoulders hung. Dwalin stopped in the door and threw one last look at her, before he disappeared.

“What is it that you don’t understand about what Bilbo did?” Thorin asked, his eyes burning with frustration. His mind was now a turmoil of anger, guilt and fear and he had no control of his feelings anymore, even though everything around them was a greenish grey, he could see a mess of golden colours and it made him feel sick.

“I understand everything perfectly fine, but right now I don’t know you anymore. What you feared is happening right now – the sickness has struck you, and you’re both deaf and blind.” She hissed. “And now I can’t even walk away because of this child you’ve put on me. I have one last question for you, Thorin II Oakenshield, son of Thrain, self-proclaimed King under the Mountain!” She asked with a cold voice and picked up her jacket. “What is most important for you – the Arkenstone, or your people and your firstborn? Your world is just black and white, Thorin – just like a child’s!” She spat on the ground before she turned.

With these words, she walked away while Thorin stared after her. Tears streamed down her face, but she was too angry to cry, too scared to even think clear – she just sensed a feeling of being strangled and panic was rising in her. She had no idea where she walked anymore, she couldn’t even hear anything except blood rushing in her ears.

“Sigrael!”

She didn’t care who it was, she really didn’t.

“Sigrael, wait!”

She just wanted to leave, but right now she was captured in this mountain, there was no safe way out.

“Sigrael, stop!”

Somebody grabbed her shoulder and pulled her around – it was Bofur, and he looked shocked, but what surprised her, was that he looked worried about her. “What?” She just stuttered.

“I’m not even going to ask if you’re okay, it’s clear you’re not.” Bofur said and laid an arm around her shoulder and turned her to lead her somewhere.

“What are you talking about?” She sighed, her breath trembling as she breathed in.

“I overheard your conversation with Thorin,” he said, looking at her with worried eyes. “I didn’t mean to, I was walking by and heard what you said and… Okay, all of us heard it through the archway…” he caressed her cheek with one hand. “I’m so sorry it has ended up like this for you. You should not go through this alone.”

“Why do you care?” Sigrael just stuttered, too tired to even try to cover it up.

“You’re pregnant, suffered from malnutrition like all of us and I can tell that is not good in your condition, and the father of your child has lost his mind – of course I will care for you!” He said and opened a door.

“But why care for me?” She whispered as he placed her on a chair.

“I've known Thorin my entire life and my loyalty to him is strong, and I will be there, even for his child.” Bofur said warmly to her. “Look at these,” he said and held up her braids. “Have you forgotten you’re one of our kin now?”

Their kin, because Thorin had made her a promise in Laketown. It seemed like it was ages ago, like a distant memory. “What does that matter, when he’s lost his senses?”

“Have you given up on him?” Bofur asked and took her hand.

“Didn’t you see what he did out there? He tried to toss Bilbo down from that wall,” Sigrael said with a thin voice. “I just wish he became the Thorin I knew before we made it here…”

“He is, somewhere behind the sickness.” Bofur sighed. “He needs us now, more than ever. He can’t fight it alone – we have you to thank that he resisted it for so long, I’m sure! And we don’t judge you, we’ll be here for you.” He said and embraced her to give her a hug. She knew he was right, it was just too much for her at the moment.

As Bofur parted from her, he looked at her with a warm smile. “Here, have my ration for today. You need it more than I do.” Sigrael couldn’t help but admire how kind he was to her. “You're emotionally exhausted, the least I could do is to offer you some ham and bread. The last days have been too hard on you.”

“They have been…” Sigrael whispered and she hadn’t any more tears to shed, she was dried up. “But thank you.”

“Just remember that... After all, he loves you, and that gives us a hope of getting him back. I'm not saying the illness is an excuse to behave like he did, but... Illness can be cured, and it doesn't change the fact that he loves you. You’re our kin, and it’s his child. I believe better days are ahead if we get through this.” Bofur said and squeezed her hand a little. “But I see the situation is… a tad extreme at the moment…”

“That is as sure as the sun rising in the East. And I love him, I still do after all that happened. And no, I don't think the illness is an excuse. But it makes me understand something that seems so unbelievable. And when I understand it, I still have hope in better times...” Sigrael whispered and rested her head on his shoulder. It was amazing how this little support helped her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, we're not nearly done with feels! *evil smile*


End file.
